Wasn't quite sure how to title this to make my point. What I would like is a bit of advice on how to get my husband to open up and be a bit more verbal about what he would like to try in the bedroom? We have a nice sex life (well as much as we can with 2 young children) and I am usually quite forward in telling him what I like in the bedroom and am also fairly experimental and my hubby if usually very obliging in doing things to me, but I would like to return the favour and make sure he is also fully satisfied. Any tips on opening up this discussion?
You could maybe try a game, as it is a fun way to experiment together. This is a highly reviewed one, and it could build your Husband’s confidence as the game will be guiding you both. He may come across new things that he likes too :) xx
the trick is to not pressure him about it, the more importance you put on it the more he'll worry that what he says is wrong. have you ever tried watching porn together, its ussually a good way to get hints as to what he's in to. also any tiny thing he tells you dont makea big deal of it, even if its something really shocking, say "that sounds, we might try it one day" not "JESUS I NOT DOING THAT!!" or "LETS DO IT NOW!!" my oh was like this and i eventually just stopped asking but left the door open, now hes opened up without me even asking and without it even feeling like a big deal
That game looks interesting! I think he might enjoy something like that - one thing we can do is laugh at ourselves so it could be a relaxing way into opening up discussions :)
I kind of have a similar situation with my OH. He is very eager and willing to fulfil my fantasies, such as BDSM, but when I've asked he always seems very reserved and says he doesn't have any fantasies, he just enjoys having sex. I do feel bad that he's fulfilling all of mine and I can't do anything special for him, but really if he says he doesn't have any then I don't want to pressure him and make him feel like that's wrong. I guess not everybody does :)
I think it's normal to feel the way you do and want to do something special for your OH, but perhaps you'll have to accept that he doesn't have a particular fantasy if that's what he insists. It doesn't hurt to encourage open conversation though, and trying out some of those sex games is also a great idea :) but as Y&F said pressuring him may only make him feel less inclined to say if he does have a fantasy he's particularly embarrassed or shy about.
You might also want to try reading erotic fiction together, as I've picked up some very good ideas from some of my books.
Scorpius12 wrote:
You could maybe try a game, as it is a fun way to experiment together. This is a highly reviewed one, and it could build your Husband’s confidence as the game will be guiding you both. He may come across new things that he likes too :) xx
+1 I second Monogomy. I would look at the reviews as well. To play this game you really need a little preperation and a much earlier start time and kids out of the way. The game can last quite a few hours .I would warn him though there could be a little bit of spanking in it but not too much as to put someone off . But just mention it say after a few drinks. There could be quite a bit of drinking if you land on a certain square so you may need to adjust to make sure both of you are still in control of what you are dolng.
As a bloke I have to say that men in general are a little reserved when it comes to opening up about sex and sexual fantasies as its not something we tend to discuss say in the pub with a few friends. Women tend to be far more open especially after a few drinks!