im a 27yo happily married female who has never quite reached an orgasm ! I get so close but cant quite seem to let myself relax and let go just as im almost there ... Does anyone have any advice ?
I think you have the same situation as my wife I can only remember one time some years ago when she reached her magic o. When we have oral sex she almost climaxes but like you it just settles down I try my best to make her orgasm ie by licking her clit,using my fingers and also using toys.
The last time that she came she was lying back on a computer chair and I actually made her orgasm twice but since then we’ve just not managed it.
Have you tried using any toys? Like the rabbit or even ones to stimulate the clitoris?
Ironically for me a lot of it was letting go of the pressure to orgasm and just letting myself enjoy stuff without worrying if I orgasm or not. I also started trying lots of new things and getting more into kinky stuff, and the safer and more comfortable I feel with the person I'm having sex with the more fun I'm going to have. Hope this helps!
Thanks for responding both :)
Weve tried toys (vibrators, clit stimulators) but always the same ... so close but then cant quite finish. Ophelia-Rose im wondering if it is anxiety/pressure thats a bit of the problem (not that husband makes me feel that way) i think im putting myself off worrying in the final moments maybe. From what youve said Im wondering if a blindfold and some beginner bondage might make me feel less anxious and more inclined to submit to it so to speak. May do a LH order and see how it goes - wish me luck !
Can you climax through masturbation by yourself?
I can but I've never managed to climax with my partner. I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm being watched or I'm putting too much pressure on myself to come it just doesn't work.
Unfortunately not ! i masturbate fairly frequently and enjoy it, but i just cant seem to let go enough to climax - its very frustrating.
I really struggle to give up control, even with just myself if that makes sense ?
@ Queen pink
Oh, that's unfortunate. I feel like my sessions are 40% physical stimulation and 60% mental stimulation. If anything knocks my concentration like stress I find it extremely difficult to climax. Maybe you could concentrate more on mental stimulation if that's what you're missing if downstairs feels great?
I don't know if this will make sense but your body shouldn't "ask politely" for an orgasm and wait for a reply. You've been a good girl so you damn well deserve to climax after all your hard work. It's yours so take it. (That's how I feel, anyway).
I agree with hunny and think getting yourself in a more submissive mood may be just the ticket! Plus even if you don't orgasm you get the thrill of kinky fun so it's a win-win :D It might be worth having some experimentation sessions, both on your own and with your partner, where you try a bunch of different things specifically just to explore how they feel and what you enjoy, explicitly not trying to go anywhere with it; like a wine-tasting session but with sex stuff ;) This might help your headspace and to get excited about exploring things in a different way xx
Have you tried being restrained? You might find that being tied down (with someone you trust) that you're forced to let go. Or you could try some poppers - these were being consider as legal highs and therefore being banned but weren't in the end. Probably more risky than the restraints option.
@hunnymonster29 - excellently put - I damn well deserve my orgasms ! @ophelia-rose yes definitely- we do play but pretty conservatively so I think a chat about where to go/what to try in future may be needed to see if I can get rid of that final worry/shyness. @brufton we haven’t tried any form of restraint and I absolutely think you may be right - I think handing over control completely may be the key to letting go and getting across the finish line so to speak... I’ve ordered a new baby doll & underbed restraint kit from LH & think I’ll suggest trying something new to the husband and maybe having a bottle of wine to relax beforehand and see how we get on ! Nervous but excited ! Thanks for all the advice everyone, wish me luck !
Good luck!! I hope it goes well for you. Though I have to say, I hardly ever orgasm, unless I've been deprived of any kind of sex for a long time, and then it still takes ages.
And - orgasm isn't the be all and end all. Sex is so good, and I just get higher and higher, I don't worry about coming, I just enjoy all the fun, until we've had enough.
I don't think it's something one need get hung up on, or worry about, or thonkmof as an 'achievement'. Just enjoy making love, exploring together, having fun.
All the best
Hey Queen Pink,
The wine sounds like a good idea . As long as you don't have too much of it, I reckon it'd make you relax and put less pressure towards the big O. Imo, your mind and emotions are so important when trying to have a good time and enjoying all the sensations. I too used to struggle a lot with having an orgasm, so I started to masturbating and spending more time explring my own sensations and pleasures and I realised that helped me a lot getting an orgasm. If I go for it with too much let's say "gusto" I don't get there and feel frustrated sometimes. So good luck enjoying the journey and finally getting there.