New to all this but how to please husband after hes been with a man
Theres lots of ways, but fundamentally the best one you can go with is asking him. Just some ideas though;
You can buy him a plug to wear during sex, I found that my aneros helix syn had a nice prostate brushing action when thrusting. A bigger more usual cone shaped plug (like LH classic medium) provides some nice filling pressure too.
You could also look towards buying him a dildo to use anally as part of masturbation (alone or together) or foreplay or could even look towards pegging.
But really, *ask* him. Everyone wants different things, shapes and sizes of toys etc. So just talk to him.
Hello and welcome to the forums.
Honestly we couldn't tell you what to do to please your partner from the information you've given us as we do not know his likes or dislikes, his turn ons and his turn offs etc. Communication is the best way to deal with everything in a relationship so just sit down and have a chat about it.
It might be just me but he's with you now. So personally I wouldn't just try pleasing him in the way he was prior. I'd suggest each writing (separately) a few things your up for. Then discuss what you've both written. Communicate and compromise is key. You never know you might have the same things written down. If not compromise to something your both happy with.
I wouldn't of thought it would make a difference to how you please him as if he's bi he wants you to be a woman and a man for a man you don't have to go into competition with the man but if you want him all to yourself yea maybe suggest pegging
Isn't it over simplifying the issue to assume that his bisexuality is directly related to have something up his bum? I guess the real issue was whether his experience was before he met you or after. If it was in his past there is no reason to assume that he won't be happy to be in a monogamous relationship.... Otherwise why would he have married you? I might be wrong in which case go for the advice above and try pegging. Maybe buy a stick on handle bar moustache and insist he calls you Burt just to be on the safe side. If you are also concerned about relevant attire may I suggest watching the Blue Oyster Bar scene in Police Academy, or the video for Relax by FGTH.pegguin wrote:
Theres lots of ways, but fundamentally the best one you can go with is asking him. Just some ideas though;
You can buy him a plug to wear during sex, I found that my aneros helix syn had a nice prostate brushing action when thrusting. A bigger more usual cone shaped plug (like LH classic medium) provides some nice filling pressure too.
You could also look towards buying him a dildo to use anally as part of masturbation (alone or together) or foreplay or could even look towards pegging.
But really, *ask* him. Everyone wants different things, shapes and sizes of toys etc. So just talk to him.
macspants wrote:
Isn't it over simplifying the issue to assume that his bisexuality is directly related to have something up his bum? I guess the real issue was whether his experience was before he met you or after. If it was in his past there is no reason to assume that he won't be happy to be in a monogamous relationship.... Otherwise why would he have married you? I might be wrong in which case go for the advice above and try pegging. Maybe buy a stick on handle bar moustache and insist he calls you Burt just to be on the safe side. If you are also concerned about relevant attire may I suggest watching the Blue Oyster Bar scene in Police Academy, or the video for Relax by FGTH.pegguin wrote:
Theres lots of ways, but fundamentally the best one you can go with is asking him. Just some ideas though;
You can buy him a plug to wear during sex, I found that my aneros helix syn had a nice prostate brushing action when thrusting. A bigger more usual cone shaped plug (like LH classic medium) provides some nice filling pressure too.
You could also look towards buying him a dildo to use anally as part of masturbation (alone or together) or foreplay or could even look towards pegging.
But really, *ask* him. Everyone wants different things, shapes and sizes of toys etc. So just talk to him.
Oh my macspants..you just made me spit my wine out! I will never forget the Blue Oyster Bar!!
I don't quite understand your question. Being bisexal doesn't mean you want your partner to be both male and female. He is attracted to women, you are a woman, please him as you always have?
If you are insecure about not being enough for him, you really need to talk about that.
If you are looking to let him have a bit of male on male fantasy, again talk to him. If he likes to be penetrated, consider anal play or even strap on play. If he likes to be the one penetrating, perhaps buy him a male bum masturbator or indeed work up to anal sex with him yourself.
I feel it's important to remember that contrary to popular belief, your bisexual partner is not going to feel like they're missing out on one gender by being with another. It's no different to anyone who enters a monogamous relationship; your partner is enough. You don't want other men, right? Well, your partner doesn't either. Bisexual does not equal polyamorous. That's a whole different kettle of fish.
Thats it all he says that they give each blow job together same time
NewLove wrote:
Thats it all he says that they give each blow job together same time
So you can 69 with him? Don't need two cocks for that...
But that's it .sorry but i know hes say bi but he only goes through the works and pills for me
I'm straight but love my wife pegging me so you can't assume .......
Sorry I don't know what you mean pegging
Pegging is essentially a woman anally penetrating a man
NewLove wrote:
But that's it .sorry but i know hes say bi but he only goes through the works and pills for me
Sorry, I find you really hard to understand - language-wise. Are you trying to say that your husband claims to be bisexual but can only have an erection in your presence with chemical help?
In that case (and please correct me if I'm wrong), I hope you married because you love each other and have lots of things in common and lots of fun outside of the bedroom - remember that if you get frustrated in the bedroom. And then I'd say take the pressure off by telling your husband that penis in vagina is not the only form of sex you want. He doesn't need an erection to play with your breasts or clit, and for penetration - if you want it - there's always dildos...
As has been mentioned before, talk to each other, find out what you both want to do - really want to do, not think you should want because it is "normal" and "everybody else" does it - and do just that.
Ok I put it this way 1 min after he starts getting into to touching me he forgets I am there and it's him and his 1st male love where he only has his hand pushing down on him
.as for trying to talk he's goes on the defence
NewLove wrote:
Ok I put it this way 1 min after he starts getting into to touching me he forgets I am there and it's him and his 1st male love where he only has his hand pushing down on him
.as for trying to talk he's goes on the defence
I am undersdtanding this right? When your having sex with him he then imagines he's having sex with his previous partner ?
If that is the case then you really do need to talk as clearly something isn't quite right.
+1, I've taken the understanding the same as mysteron.... If that's correct, not meaning to sound harsh then why are you with him if that is true? Surely if he's imagining being with his ex over you then there is a major issue. And personally if so, I wouldn't want to be second best.mysteron wrote:
NewLove wrote:
Ok I put it this way 1 min after he starts getting into to touching me he forgets I am there and it's him and his 1st male love where he only has his hand pushing down on him
.as for trying to talk he's goes on the defenceI am undersdtanding this right? When your having sex with him he then imagines he's having sex with his previous partner ?
If that is the case then you really do need to talk as clearly something isn't quite right.
NewLove wrote:
Ok I put it this way 1 min after he starts getting into to touching me he forgets I am there and it's him and his 1st male love where he only has his hand pushing down on him
.as for trying to talk he's goes on the defence
He probably goes on the defensive because, assuming you've said to him what you've said to us, your talking to him involves you accussing him of being gay rather than bi, or at the very least that he likes men more than you just because he has been with a man in the past. That's pretty insulting, you know.
Honestly, has he ever outright said to you 'when we're in bed I'm thinking of my ex' or is this your own insecurity coming through? Is he really thinking of his ex or are YOU thinking of his ex, and thus thinking he is thinking of him?
If you feel like he is not attracted to you, you need to talk to him about this WITHOUT bringing up the fact that he is bisexual and has been in a relationship with a man and most of all without accusing him of secretly being gay and only liking men. Which is very much how what you are saying is coming accross, since you are so fucused on his male ex. What about female exes? Do they bother you? There's as much chance of him thinking of them as there is of him thinking of a male ex, you know.
Plus I'd like to point out that he married you. It's highly likely that he is interested in you, he is attracted to you and he is thinking of you while he is being intimate with you.
wow, big hugs! It sounds to me like you are frustrated here and seeking help. There is a lot of good advice here but I agree you need to make it about where you are both today and try to move forward from the past.
It would be hurtful for me to know that my partner thought about a past love everytime we were together so I think you need to explain to him that you are looking for ways to enhance your lovelife with him and what you can do together to enjoy each other.
If you approach it that way vs. focusing on his past love that many help him open up a bit?