So me & my OH have been together for 6 years now and our sex life has been pretty much non existent for the last year or so it's as if he doesn't find me sexually attractive anymore, I have tried everything from buying dress up to sending him texts to try and turn him on and nothing works, he always seems to come up with excuses and when we do have sex its like its a chore for him.
Do any of you guys have any tips on how I can try and revive my sex life with my partner, we're both 22 btw
Thanks, but I don' think he would be happy with that and I wouldn't be able to cuff him to the bed as we dont have posts on our bed
I just need tips / hints / ideas on how to turn him and to try and bring back some spice into our sex life
Think back to the start of your relationship or when it was really passionate, what where you doing differently/did you have any place in particular you went and it got steamy after, could you go back there and trigger the same passion.
Or alternatively and this is probably the less favoured,
Go out all sexy for him, use what you know about what turns him on and gets him goin eg new undies in his favourite colour and then if nothing happens front it out and ask why, the second half you hope to avoid but if it doesn't work that realistically is the only option that won't leave you second guessing too muc.
Good luck
two things got me really wanting more.
the first was an innocent trip to the cinema and she got wandering hands with a gentle touch throughout the film...nothing out i should add! but a finger running up and down that area in the cinema made for an intersting time when we got in.
the other was went to make a cuppa and the next thing i know is someone is on their knees unzipping me....hard not to get turned on when someone is paying you that much attention!
these are one offs though, by that I mean they would be a good tactic to try once but it would seem you are after something of a longer term fix.
Don't forget work can take a hell of a toil on a sex life especially if shifts are involved - don't know if that is the case with you though.
Spice? what about a few toys off this great site? I love using toys on Mrs Cappy.
Hope it gets sorted for you
I agree with Capps, one off new exciting elements to a relationship are always get to get the blood pumping
we were 16 when we first got together so were having to sneak around (find places outside i.e the woods etc) to do it when he came to me as my parents didnt approve and then when we were at his we would do it in his room
Midnightlou wrote:
Think back to the start of your relationship or when it was really passionate, what where you doing differently/did you have any place in particular you went and it got steamy after, could you go back there and trigger the same passion.
Or alternatively and this is probably the less favoured,
Go out all sexy for him, use what you know about what turns him on and gets him goin eg new undies in his favourite colour and then if nothing happens front it out and ask why, the second half you hope to avoid but if it doesn't work that realistically is the only option that won't leave you second guessing too muc.
Good luck
thanks might try the cinema trick when we next go :), ive bought a few things off her and it doesn't seem to work :( ive bought costomes, toys etc
cappy wrote:
two things got me really wanting more.
the first was an innocent trip to the cinema and she got wandering hands with a gentle touch throughout the film...nothing out i should add! but a finger running up and down that area in the cinema made for an intersting time when we got in.
the other was went to make a cuppa and the next thing i know is someone is on their knees unzipping me....hard not to get turned on when someone is paying you that much attention!
these are one offs though, by that I mean they would be a good tactic to try once but it would seem you are after something of a longer term fix.
Don't forget work can take a hell of a toil on a sex life especially if shifts are involved - don't know if that is the case with you though.
Spice? what about a few toys off this great site? I love using toys on Mrs Cappy.
Hope it gets sorted for you
You could always go for a walk in the woods and flash a bit of Clevelage, new bra etc to see if that gets him going, maybe light fondiling over the clothes and gentle memory walk too.
Maybe you should talk to him about what the issue is first, is he stressed? is he depressed? is he insecure for some reason? potentially you constantly trying to seduce him could be making any problem worse.
Maybe you could try going on a romantic date, having some quality couple time and just kissing/cuddling with no pressure. xx
Has he ever had any erectile problems? Nothing knocks a chap's confidence more than that, and it doesn't take much. Try not to force the issue; feeling pressured into performing can make it worse.
Do you both drink? If so, buy a bottle of wine, rent a movie with a little sex in it (not a porno) and let your hands wander a little. If sex is usually confined to the bedroom, then do it right there on the sofa... just slowly, without pressure. If he typically 'leads' when you have sex, you take control next time. Basically try to mix it up without the fear of something very new (new toys, new games, bonds, etc).
Are you both kinky? When your sex life was better, was it always standard sex (but outside through circumstance, not through desire to be outside as a fantasy)?
Finally, does he masterbate a lot?
Talk to him if you haven't already, there could be any number of reasons why he has gone off sex.
My partner rejected me over and over, I tried everything I could think of to get him in the mood, dressed up, talked dirty, jumped on him, ignored him and waited for him to come to me but nothing worked.
I did try to talk to him but I never really got any answers from him. I kept trying to get him to talk and felt so hurt and rejected I would cry myself to sleep some nights. I started resenting him for making me feel that way (there was no hugs or kisses, in fact he was really distant in every respect) and we started arguing loads then he started resenting me for putting pressure on him. It turns out when he finally did open up that having sex was causing him pain, we still can't have sex because of it but now we have got some closeness back again. Before he eventually told me I was pretty close to leaving him as I was feeling like he only wanted me in his life out of convenience.
Now I'm not saying your partner could be in pain, there are loads more things it could be but it is really important you both understand why it is like this and take steps to get back on track, compromise or work around things. Good luck.
Problem here is that every attempt to spark sec can seem like pressure. Communication is the only real way around it. All him why and hope he's nature enough to discuss it.
Couple of other things, do you normally expect him to lead? (bee honest) if so it could be a confidence thing. Try initiating in a selfless way and are what happens
again be honest, during intimate moments do you usually push for something more?If so he might feel pressured, let intimate moments be just hugging or kissing or whatever for a bit and see if it comes naturally when there's no pressure