Ive searched through the forum and can't find any threads on this,however I am new to LH so many im not searching right?
But Ive been sexually active for nearly 4 years now,done everything and have not orgasmed.
I recently purchased a vibrator from LH but it doesnt seem to off worked,it starts to build,my breathing goes erratic but theres no release or great feeling of pleasure.
PLEASE can someone give me advice?
Welcome to the forum :)
Relax, you are in great hands.
My ex had not had an orgasm and she was 25 when we got together, you are certainly not alone. But there is an O out there for you.
Bump....
Usualy the ladies are all over these
reeeeeelaxxxx
go into it thinking of some enjoyment and no expectation of orgasm. you have got to take that expectation off yourself
I think it is probably because a very similar thread was done about 3 or 4 days before FlyingSolo started this one, so it slipped away. Let me post some links to some previous threads, which hopefully will help you FS x
If you need any more info just ask FS x
These forum pages will help you out a treat... Most importantly, relax and enjoy riding the wave!
As a man I have only ever had one orgasm. Try as I might, an with the help I toys, imagination, luv everything I can think of I just dot orgasm. Masturbation for me has become so boring and I uneventful I have (I hope temporarily) given up. Sex is the same. I've just never fully enjoyed it. I don't think my body is wired for sexy stimulation. :(
Relax and don't get worked up about it, take time and enjoy finding the right thing that will bring it on for you maybe :)
Don't think about having an orgasm too much, just relax and imagin whatever turns you on (if your alone) more you try to force an orgasm it probably wont happen.
And i never had an orgasm during sexual intercourse. oral or penetration until i met my current partner. but i still have trouble having an orgasm all the time. I still never have an orgasm during oral/finger etc though. i didn't do anything different than before partners so i don't really have much advice for that really.
The key is to defitely relax though.
I wouldn't worry to much. I had been sexually active for 3 years before I was able to orgasm properly. Toys would get me excited but I just wouldn't reach a climax. It took a guy who really knew how to hit the right spots to get me orgasm and I've been fine ever since.
All it takes is to figure out exactly what does it and where is the best spot to target and you'll be cumming all over the place :)
You need a good man, that's for sure. Over the last few years I've learnt how to make my wife come some hard she'll squirt almost continually for 10 minutes at a time.
You just need to get someone who wont stop stimulation you even when you think you can't take any more. I'll use a good size toy, plus a plug in mains powered Magic Wandi vibrator and sometimes some anal play as well all at the same time, and just keep going and going until she is squirting everywhere over and over again. We'll soak though 3 or 4 towels and a childs waterproof bed sheet!
So perserverance, and maybe get yourself on of these:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21234
Always works!!
JHP wrote:
You need a good man, that's for sure. Over the last few years I've learnt how to make my wife come some hard she'll squirt almost continually for 10 minutes at a time.
You just need to get someone who wont stop stimulation you even when you think you can't take any more. I'll use a good size toy, plus a plug in mains powered Magic Wandi vibrator and sometimes some anal play as well all at the same time, and just keep going and going until she is squirting everywhere over and over again. We'll soak though 3 or 4 towels and a childs waterproof bed sheet!
So perserverance, and maybe get yourself on of these:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21234
Always works!!
Feels like a bit of a sledge hammer approach!
Big and powerful is not always best.
Relaxation and enjoyment of gentle stimulation is far more effective. Teasing is the best way to build the desire to the point when she is desperate for satisfaction.
BDSM wrote:
JHP wrote:
You need a good man, that's for sure. Over the last few years I've learnt how to make my wife come some hard she'll squirt almost continually for 10 minutes at a time.
You just need to get someone who wont stop stimulation you even when you think you can't take any more. I'll use a good size toy, plus a plug in mains powered Magic Wandi vibrator and sometimes some anal play as well all at the same time, and just keep going and going until she is squirting everywhere over and over again. We'll soak though 3 or 4 towels and a childs waterproof bed sheet!
So perserverance, and maybe get yourself on of these:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21234
Always works!!
Feels like a bit of a sledge hammer approach!
Big and powerful is not always best.
Relaxation and enjoyment of gentle stimulation is far more effective. Teasing is the best way to build the desire to the point when she is desperate for satisfaction.
I'll second that! If I were a woman and had this issue I sure as hell wouldnt want my first orgasm "forced" out of me lol!
Plus, Maybe her man IS a good man & perhaps she may NOT want to leave him for the "Orgasm King" lol, They just need to find the right technique between them.
Anyway, MY advice would be,
Relaxation, Massage, Candles, Soft music etc etc.....
DONT expect an orgasm, Just enjoy exploring each other and Im sure along with the above ideas, And the GOOD advice in this thread, You'll find your first O in time :) x
Lots of other people have given the same advice, but I had to chip in as this is something that's affected me personally. I've recently managed to re-teach myself to orgasm after not being able to for many years, and to be honest I had had maybe a couple of deliberate orgasms before that.
I knew that the problem for me was in my head, as sometimes I have them while dreaming.
The problem I was having was that I was wanting it so badly, being so turned on but not being able to get what I wanted, and it was making me so frustrated. Every time I got turned on and tried to masturbate I was just so focussed on "making it happen" and it never would. I've bought all sorts of toys that are meant to work wonders and none of them did (vibes don't do a thing for me - glass dildos seem to be what does it for me, and orgasming with these has helped me to learn to start doing it with other things as well), which only served to make me feel even worse.
What did it for me was this:
Don't reach for it.
By going in focussing purely on making an orgasm happen and being frustrated that you haven't gotten there yet, you will miss out on the nice stuff that is actually happening right now. Forget about the orgasm. Instead, be mindful of "ooh, that feels interesting". It doesn't matter that it's not an orgasm, it feels nice, and nice is good. You deserve to feel the niceness, instead of the frustration. There's time for an orgasm some other time, right now enjoy a little nice.
And you'll get better at making niceness happen, and you'll like it and have more of it. And forget about the stupid orgasm, because right now this feels great. And then during one evening (or day if that's your time) you will eventually be surprised that something unexpected happens amid all the niceness, and lo and behold you've had a surprise orgasm.
It might only be tiny, and you'll wonder if it even happened. But it did, and that means you can. And that in itself is a huge boost. You're not broken. You're just too wound up hunting for this fabled beast that apparently everyone else can have at the drop of a hat (but really a lot of them are also having your problem).
And now that you know you can, carry on having niceness. Don't reach for the orgasm. Enjoy what's happening now, and eventually the orgasm will find you.
I wish you the very best of luck. It will happen.
Key word 'relax', wether it is on your own or with a man. If you are alone (and make sure you are alone so no one walks in on you) take the time. Maybe read something erotic, or now with the internet you can get anything you want. There are good stories on here. X-hamster is good and safe for visuals and stories (any tastes catered for). You will get there don't worry. xx
I was 29 when I experienced my first orgasm and it wasn't due to my hubby. personally I can't orgasm through penetrative sex ithas to be clittoral stimulation, I highly recommend the lovehoney magic wand, it truly is magic xxx
All these tips are amazing, especially from Lurkie,its given me hope.
I havent got there yet but Im sure at some point it will happen, the post from Lurkie really sums me up,I do get really frustrated with my own body's inabilities.
Thankyou all so much, if anyone does have anymore tips I do still appreciate them!