Me and the GF have an anniversary coming up and we’ve just found out we will be child free for the weekend, as the grandparents want to take them to a few local events.
With this in mind, we’ve booked a nice restaurant for the Saturday and we’re planning a weekend of adult fun .
During previous naughty nights away etc, the gf has discussed getting a paddle so I can spank her. So think this weekend alone will the perfect time to give it a go.
I’m just wondering how people incorporate spanking into their sessions.
Don’t want it to feel awkward having not done it previously.
We don’t really do Dom stuff, but when I did approach this for the first time, I blindfolded her and just took control.
We hired a hotel room for our anniversary and as soon as we got back from a walk after dinner, I changed character and just told her to do everything I say. I put a blindfold on her and made her undress.
I then made her bend over bed where I gave some slaps to her backside.
That’s how I first introduced it and it was a good night.
We kind of save that kink for hotel rooms as we have kids too.
@Bonzo2020’s idea is a good one. Alternatively, if you don’t want to be in control as such, start by kissing and running your hands over her. Make your way to her bum and start groping, stroking and squeezing. Move on to light taps in between the other things and slowly increase the frequency and the force of the spanks. When it feels natural, you can get her into a comfortable position and focus on hand spanking and once she’s warmed up, intro the paddle
My only advice for spanking is make sure she is comfortable first and in a comfy position and don’t spank to hard unless she asks you to be rougher with it
As your wife made the initial request about spanking, she’s obviously put some thought into it and may be hoping for something in particular, a scenario she’s played over in her head?
Is there any way you can talk about it beforehand so you’ve got an idea of what she’d like?
It’s quite literally different strokes for different folks. For example, I’m a happy spankee but if someone told me I was bad and they’re going to punish me I’d cry for a week thinking I’d done something wrong, whereas others would find that a huge turn-on!
As you’re new to this, remember to stick to fleshy parts like the bottom and always avoid the kidney areas. Let her know she needs to stop you if it gets too much and work out between you how she’ll do this. It’s usually more pleasurable if you’re relaxed so make sure she’s warm and comfortable. Start off gently and build up and make a mental note of what she’s enjoying as you’re spanking. We can give you lots of advice but only she will know what’s enjoyable for her.
Like anything new it may feel a bit awkward, or you may both laugh lots, or you may hit it off from the word go (b’dum tish) and it’ll be the start of a wonderful new journey full of possibilities.
Happy spanking!
Everything is covered really, start slow, start with a few taps with your hand on flesh parts and see how she reacts.
Ask her how she’s imagined this in her head.
If she’s not been spanked before she’s not going to know her limits so make it a slow build, and move around so you’re not spanking the one spot over and over, unless she wants this.
Remember that this is new to you both, you both have a say in this and you both will have limits.
Take time to cuddle each other afterwards, put some cream on her to sooth her bits and expect that there might be a bit of emotion for you both. This is normal, when I’ve been craving it for a while and finally get it, it makes me cry and its in no way because of pain or anything bad. We only do it if we’re both in a good headspace so that pleasure is the only outcome.
Pretty much like has been said before however start with a safe word, if it’s getting too much use the safe word or green, yellow and red like traffic lights, you can then either ease back, continue etc…. Have fun babes
start of light and build from there. I know some people like just being spanked without anything else but we find that its best during sex so if your in doggy can easily do it then but if they are on top you can reach round and have a whack.
As you have a paddle have a chat before sex play and state you will include this in next sex play and lay out rules -
When you introduce spanking suggest you grab or tap her bottom and then say something like - your a bad girl and I think your in need of a spank
Ask her to lay over your lap and then stroke her bottom and tease and then give a soft tap or 2 with the paddle and then again smooth her bottom and talk all the time while playing
Personally me and the wife when spanking like to start. With knickers up and as we spank pull down her knickers to give her extra spanking - a lot of fun for both
Just take your time with it, I love a bit of spanking. Usually incorporate it into foreplay. My hubby uses his hands, whips, paddle and crop. I love them them all, but everytime we’ve bought a new one, he usually works his way up, starts soft and will ask me how each spank feels, if it’s too much I just ask him to stop and he does straight away although that’s only happened once. It’s all about trust and just take you time with what feels comfortable. If it don’t feel right talk about it
So fun fact: lovehoney actually has a YouTube page with sex education/instructional videos. I actually didn’t realize lovehoney was a store at first, I just thought it was a great source of sexual education for years
Here is a video they did about spanking:
In addition to their suggestions you could also play it up as a Dom/sub dynamic or a top/bottom dynamic.
A Dom/sub is more about role-play and power dynamics. A Dom is in charge and either inflicts ‘punishments’ if their sub disobeys or ‘fun-ishments’ to treat their sub if they like to get spanked.
A top/bottom is less about role play and more about just who is being treated/receiving attention. With this you can rub the toy gently on the butt or body part in a sensual way and build it up slowly.
tell us how it went - i remember my first spank was just fab and i loved being very submissive - however within a week i had him over the table being spanked a lot harder than i could take
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Happy Anniversary
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