It sounds to me like the last thing you're looking for is a relationship.
Sounds like you just want good mates and a girl for "fun"....I mean, if you're prioritising looks and "not being too nice" then it definitely sounds like you're not looking for a relationship.
Or at least not a successful one ;)
Adx
Alicia D'amore wrote:
I met my OH online (long distance for 3 years, been together 5 and lived together 2) . Not internet dating, but I'll add my two penneths.
I think the internet is a wonderful tool for meeting people - there are however many people in the world and the internet gives you wider scope to meet someone best suited to you!
None of the people I meet are my "type" of people - they make fantastic friends, but a relationship wouldn't last. With WandA we took time to get to know each other, realised how compatable we are. You're more open, more confident online.
Peronally - I don't tend to like the idea of signing up to dating "sites" or going to dating "nights" because I don't see the sense in forcing it. You're young - you don't *need* a partner....go out to meet people but not necessarily meet a partner!
But in general - the internet is a great place to meet like minded people as long as you're safe!
Adx
Adx
Herein lies my problem. Apart from my local area being a haven for douchebags and the rapidly decaying, I'm really bad at meeting people. I make horrible first impressions - that's fact, not me being modest! I'm quite shy or I say stupid shit. And I know I don't *need* a partner, but it'd be bloody lovely to have one right now. I've never had a girlfriend, and quite honestly I think loneliness is taking it's toll. I'm not the most depressed person in the world but I really would like someone to hold in the middle of the night.
Oh, and please don't all feel sorry for me or anything, thats not why I'm posting this! Just think how much fun my shrink is gonna have over the next few weeks. My head is like the fuckin crystal maze External Media
Alicia D'amore wrote:
It sounds to me like the last thing you're looking for is a relationship.
Sounds like you just want good mates and a girl for "fun"....I mean, if you're prioritising looks and "not being too nice" then it definitely sounds like you're not looking for a relationship.
Or at least not a successful one ;)
Adx
Absolutely not, but I see why you think that. I certainly wouldn't prioritise looks, but I think they're important - you can't date someone you don't find attractive, right? As for "not being too nice", I've obviously come across wrong. My humour is rather cynical and I have a rather "Doctor-Coxish" character. But I deteste the idea of one-night stands and stuff, and I'm the first person a lot of my close friends come to if they have something serious to talk about. I'm a bastard with a gooey-centre :P
Give it a go, after all whats the worst that can happpen?
As i am 27 and started using sites like love@lycos to meet people when i was in college (I studied IT, no women on the course) it was still uber geeky and sad back then but i met some good people, had some fun, actually met a good friend who i sadly lost contact with and she introduced me to my current better half so it can work out
From what i can gather, if you just want to see what happens then plentyoffish, match and sites like that are good but if you want something really really you may want o marry this lass serious then eHarmony is your bet
chipNroll wrote:
Exactly Alicia! that was my nice way of saying 'as if all the girls in the whole of your university are so physically abhorrent so as to be unworthy of your love, get over yourself Mr'. But that seemed a bit rude...
LOL! No, there are some very attractive girls at my uni, they're just not my type. It's hard to explain why. I wouldn't go so far as to call them sluts, it's just... I don't understand how all that bumpin and grindin at clubs is supposed to make me attracted to them. If anything it intimidates me.
Sorry I didn't mean go out and meet someone as in go *out* and meet them - I meant go "out" online or whatever with the intention of meeting people not the intention of gaining a partner.
Also - you can be nice and have that *type* of humour. I can be blunt and say some down right nasty things as a joke...but only ever to people who I know can handle it! But you ask WandA - I'm what you'd describe as *too* nice. I'm the very definition of a "nice girl" (not necessarily a good or bad thing, just a statement of fact).
Attraction is different to attractive too - and the more you get on with a person the more attractive they are to you!
Adxx
Internet dating might be a great idea then. 'Bastards' like yourself might find it easier to show their gooey centre via a computer.
BlankExpression wrote:
Give it a go, after all whats the worst that can happpen?
As i am 27 and started using sites like love@lycos to meet people when i was in college (I studied IT, no women on the course) it was still uber geeky and sad back then but i met some good people, had some fun, actually met a good friend who i sadly lost contact with and she introduced me to my current better half so it can work out
From what i can gather, if you just want to see what happens then plentyoffish, match and sites like that are good but if you want something really really you may want o marry this lass serious then eHarmony is your bet
Just taken a look at plentyoffish. May sign up to a couple of these when I've had a better look at them tomorrow night, in a more sober state External Media Thanks for the recommendations!
Alicia D'amore wrote:
Sorry I didn't mean go out and meet someone as in go *out* and meet them - I meant go "out" online or whatever with the intention of meeting people not the intention of gaining a partner.Also - you can be nice and have that *type* of humour. I can be blunt and say some down right nasty things as a joke...but only ever to people who I know can handle it! But you ask WandA - I'm what you'd describe as *too* nice. I'm the very definition of a "nice girl" (not necessarily a good or bad thing, just a statement of fact).
Attraction is different to attractive too - and the more you get on with a person the more attractive they are to you!
Adxx
I would never be as blunt and such on a date as I am around friends. However it's something I would slowly bring in as I got to know a person better. No point in being one person around your friends and someone completely different around your partner.
I do agree with attraction and attractiveness being different things. The reason I mentioned it however is because I wanted to be honest here. Again,perhaps I'm coming across to frankly. But I don't want to tell half a story and bullshit you all - at the end of the day it's not gonna help me!
Not too frankly (I'm not sure that exists) perhaps a little too harsh but I'm a believer of benefit of the doubt - I'm sure your views are a lot less harsh than they come across online with greater difficulties of "reading" people. Perhaps something to bare in mind when you meet people online too!
Me and WandA used specific "smilies" that always meant "I'm only playing around" so we knew when one or the other was being 100% serious :)
Adxx
Alicia D'amore wrote:
Not too frankly (I'm not sure that exists) perhaps a little too harsh but I'm a believer of benefit of the doubt - I'm sure your views are a lot less harsh than they come across online with greater difficulties of "reading" people. Perhaps something to bare in mind when you meet people online too!
Me and WandA used specific "smilies" that always meant "I'm only playing around" so we knew when one or the other was being 100% serious :)
Adxx
Actually a very good point! Definately something I'll keep in mind! My views are a lot less harsh than they seem, really. It's just online you can let loose the crazy a bit more than normal External Media
Thanks External Media
paddy I met current bf through online dating, am very happy and would recomend it but I wouldn't use sites that let you windowshop but then charge fees to send or receive messages.
I used okcupid and apart from having to trawl through emails from guys who hadnt read my profile and were looking for easy sex it worked I talked to some nice people and ended up with someone that didnt actually match what i thought i was looking for.
Good luck with it and like some of the others on here have said stay safe
GG
ghostgirl wrote:
paddy I met current bf through online dating, am very happy and would recomend it but I wouldn't use sites that let you windowshop but then charge fees to send or receive messages.
I used okcupid and apart from having to trawl through emails from guys who hadnt read my profile and were looking for easy sex it worked I talked to some nice people and ended up with someone that didnt actually match what i thought i was looking for.
Good luck with it and like some of the others on here have said stay safe
GG
Thanks for the advice! I'll check a few places out and update yous all over the next couple of weeks. Although I wonder if the run-up to Christmas is the best time to start trying out internet dating, what with everyone being so busy and all. We shall see External Media
Hm, I think it's all about one's mindset. The best way to go about it, in my opinion, is to just not rule it out as an option. You can socialise outside (offline) and online. I think it's a great way to meet others who may or may not have similar interest. There is so much out there when you start looking online as it's not just limited to a particular area. Again, this comes with it's cons.
I met my OH online by default at age 19 almost 20. We've been together for over 2 years. I wasn't looking for a relationship- especially online though but it just sort of happened. We were friends for the first year and clicked amazingly well. It was on a normal games site that had a chatroom feature lol. A place where I just went to occasionally and just messed around and played. We talked further on messenger though. I don't regret it. He's amazing and my soul mate. =]
xXx
I did the internet dating thing a while back. Although I didn't meet the love of my life through it, I did make some really great friends, both male and female from going to the meets that were set up on POF.
I don't think there is any harm in it as long as you use your common sence and stay safe. x
I am also 21 and met my boyfriend online almost 20 months ago now. And I have never been happier - ever! :)
But I wasn't looking for it at all. I didn't use an internet dating site, just bored on a chat room, was beginning to get sick of the creeps then he started speaking to me, and we haven't stopped since :)
Good luck and all that, I'm sure you will find someone awesome :)
I think internet dating is a perfectly acceptable/sensible way to meet a partner but I don't think it would be for me if I was single. I wouldn't actively look for a partner online but then I wouldn't actively look for one elsewhere either. I was always alright on my own and was fairly sure that's how I would spend most of my life, I liked the idea of having a wife but certainly didn't expect or seek out a partner. My relationship with my OH developed out of friendship, there was some initial attraction but that grew exponentially the more I got to know him.
I think the best way to meet people is to just do the things you like and then socialise with the other people doing them! Friends of friends I think is another good one as you will have some common ground that usually includes some similar or at least complimentary personality traits!
xxKPxx
Alicia D'amore wrote:
Not too frankly (I'm not sure that exists) perhaps a little too harsh but I'm a believer of benefit of the doubt - I'm sure your views are a lot less harsh than they come across online with greater difficulties of "reading" people. Perhaps something to bare in mind when you meet people online too!
Me and WandA used specific "smilies" that always meant "I'm only playing around" so we knew when one or the other was being 100% serious :)
Adxx
I agree 100%... if you meet someone online (which is where I met the OH!) you have to learn to read their online "tone" so to speak and which comes with time together and knowing them on and off line in my opinion.
Me and OH also use smilies and codes when we know its all a giggle and to be honest as someone who has also tried Long Distance online dating I would say from experience you need to have on and offline for it to work :D
Give it a shot... at least you know in the long run what the person is looking for
KittyPurry wrote:
I think internet dating is a perfectly acceptable/sensible way to meet a partner but I don't think it would be for me if I was single. I wouldn't actively look for a partner online but then I wouldn't actively look for one elsewhere either. I was always alright on my own and was fairly sure that's how I would spend most of my life, I liked the idea of having a wife but certainly didn't expect or seek out a partner. My relationship with my OH developed out of friendship, there was some initial attraction but that grew exponentially the more I got to know him.
I think the best way to meet people is to just do the things you like and then socialise with the other people doing them! Friends of friends I think is another good one as you will have some common ground that usually includes some similar or at least complimentary personality traits!
xxKPxx
I had just thought of this just the other day actually. The only thing I can think of though is asking one of my friends to perhaps set me up - is that acceptable or sad? I suck at meeting new people in general, especially at social gatherings and tend to keep to who I know.
I'm gonna have a chat with a close friend next week and talk various things over with her, including this. She knows me very well and will be honest about what she thinks I'd be best up for!
Cheers External Media
Paddy89 wrote:
KittyPurry wrote:
I think internet dating is a perfectly acceptable/sensible way to meet a partner but I don't think it would be for me if I was single. I wouldn't actively look for a partner online but then I wouldn't actively look for one elsewhere either. I was always alright on my own and was fairly sure that's how I would spend most of my life, I liked the idea of having a wife but certainly didn't expect or seek out a partner. My relationship with my OH developed out of friendship, there was some initial attraction but that grew exponentially the more I got to know him.
I think the best way to meet people is to just do the things you like and then socialise with the other people doing them! Friends of friends I think is another good one as you will have some common ground that usually includes some similar or at least complimentary personality traits!
xxKPxx
I had just thought of this just the other day actually. The only thing I can think of though is asking one of my friends to perhaps set me up - is that acceptable or sad? I suck at meeting new people in general, especially at social gatherings and tend to keep to who I know.
I'm gonna have a chat with a close friend next week and talk various things over with her, including this. She knows me very well and will be honest about what she thinks I'd be best up for!
Cheers External Media
Might be a good idea and not sad.
You tend to be friends with people of a similar disposition, who in turn are likely to have similar friends. It might just work! Good luck!
WandA wrote:
Might be a good idea and not sad.
You tend to be friends with people of a similar disposition, who in turn are likely to have similar friends. It might just work! Good luck!
I didn't think it was. Just shows you my knowledge of social skills External Media
Hopefully my friends can think of someone as insane as I am. If they can, I would be one happy motherfucker.
hey, i'm 25 and this is the first time in 7 years that i am single. i have tried internet dating and it's so difficult, i'm a lesbian and i have had more emails from men than women. i don't have very many friends, but i think its a good idea for your mates to set you up, i would love for my friend to set me up with someone.
