I am not currently experiencing this problem, but just out of curiosity - when you get a new partner do you introduce them to your kinky side straight away or ease them in slowly?
Ive always been one to be very upfront about what I like in the bedroom. Plain old vanilla sex just won't cut it anymore!
First time me n my bf had sex after he said omg! I wasnt expecting that... I thought your be much more reserved lol I think it depends if your completely comfortable with that person x
To ne honest Im more of a "here this is my collection of stuff I use" kinda guy right off the bat and if they run a mile it just wasn't meant to be lol
I think it's a bit different for me, as poly and a pro mistress plus sex coach / educator, I kinda have to make these facts about myself very clear before getting involved with someone. Although this doesn't mean all my personal sexual relationships involve kink, I can happily have vanilla sex with a lover and not kink, if I know they aren't into it but ok with what else I do with my life.
Grace1ess wrote:
To ne honest Im more of a "here this is my collection of stuff I use" kinda guy right off the bat and if they run a mile it just wasn't meant to be lol
I am exactly the same, I try to start off with the more gentle things :P if they can't even get along with that then there's no chance!
Lady Ness wrote:
I think it's a bit different for me, as poly and a pro mistress plus sex coach / educator, I kinda have to make these facts about myself very clear before getting involved with someone. Although this doesn't mean all my personal sexual relationships involve kink, I can happily have vanilla sex with a lover and not kink, if I know they aren't into it but ok with what else I do with my life
I'm guessing new partners will automatically expect this from you though? It's good that you can enjoy both sides :)
I guess it could depend on how strange your kinks might be,You might want to see how they are when you are talking about things,I like to be up front as soon as i can,At least that way you find out if you are compatable
You never know what your partner might feel it could be so new to them they might even like it.
Ive got a big scent fetish my OH found that out pretty quick and was fine with what i was asking and doing,And then she even got involved and loves my scent fetish and its kind of rubbed of on her.
And you never know, they might secretly be exactly the same as you and were too scared to approach the subject. I think this is why I feel it is important to be open with sexual partners, otherwise you might both be hiding secret wishes that you are both more than happy to fulfil.