Hi, I have been with my fiance for quite some time now and the sex is amazing, he always tells me he wants to please me and will do anything for me. He is also very protective and can get jelouse when other men comment on even just a photograph of myself.
(This is where it gets a lil' weird)
Recently he had asked me if I would let him take me somewhere where 2 other men will watch us have sex then interact with me whilst my fiance is having sex with me.
Now he isnt interested in having sex with the men himself, he just wants to watch them "peform" on me.
The idea doesn't worry me, it is th fact that he can be jelous and protective....
Most men that are overly jealous are either that way by default (personality) or they are insecure about themselves and feel maybe a little inadequate? This may not be the case at all, but sit down and talk to him about both of your feelings on the matter... :)
Everyone is different and feels the way they do for different reasons, the best advice anyone could possibly give, is talk to him about it properly so that there is no mis-communication at all :)
Few things come to mind reading yr post.......obviosuly you havent said under what context the conversation was, there's perhaps a difference between a heat of the moment comment which could be just 'sexy talk', and a cold light of day conversation.
'Interaction' as you describe it could also be construed in umpteen different ways.....heck of a difference between you and he enjoying each other and someone else: a/ watching b/ touching c/ inserting at 1 end d/ inserting at both ends !
As you say strange that as a jealous type he's suggested this, you mention that he's a 'pleasurer' - so i can understand that he might be interested to see if such 'interaction' takes you to a 'new place', but struggling to reconcile that with the jealousy aspect.
Topics along these lines crop up regularly and the consensus is 'beware jealosuy, good communication etc etc'. There's always some folks that have had no issues and a load of fun......based on own exp i'd wager there's a higher% that have awkward conversations after a 'coming together'. Not wanting to put you off, but how do you think you would be in that situation - given that you know how your fiance has reacted in the past? Would you feel comfortable letting yourself 'go', or would there be something in your brain saying ' i'd better not seem too enthusiastic with Mr X - in case BF gets....'
My suggestion would be to do something first that wouldn't cause potential rifts, or atleast a small rift that could be more easily fixed: Go to a Club, see how he reacts when you're doing very little but being appreciated by other eyes, make out in a 'watching but not touching' area/room - perhaps his attitude and demeanour won't be the same as in the past ( with the photos etc)......you don't have to involve a 3rd/4th that same night - you could always back off and take a rain ceck at home to see if any nasties come out of teh woodwork - and if not revisit the situation another time.
Personally i think fantasies out of the norm 1 on 1 vanilla type are bit like pandoras box, once they're out there - they're out there. Thing is opening that box a bit at a time so that there are no long lasting nasty surprises.........
Had a similar situation a few months ago. My boyfriend can be quite jealous, sex is great as both like to try pretty much anything but one night he asked me what i thought about swinging. I said straight away it was a step too far for me and he just laughed and said good cos he wasn't sure what he would he would have done if i'd said yes. Part of me thinks he was just seeing whether i wanted something else.
Like the others suggested best idea is just to talk to him. Good luck.
It seems a very big contradiction and personally I wouldn't take the risk taking in account his jalousy. I don't think I would do it in the first place as I am not into that. Watching it in a porn film OK, but not actualy doing it. You've also haven't indicated if you would want to do it, regardless of his possilbe negative reaction afterwards or maybe even during..
Just to fill in, I have known him 4 years, been with him for 3.
I have spoken to him about it and his words "I would be fine with it, because I get a hard on whenever I think about it"
I am thinking maybe he is a little too into the "fantasy" of it.
Heatseaker, I think what you said about puting him close to the situation to see his reactions, may be the way to go with this as at least then i have the control of the situation.
I don't necesserally feel uncomfortable with the idea, I am just worried that we will fall apart if he regrets it.
I think this is a fantasy and should be kept just that...
If he is the jelous type then I cant see this having a happy outcome
I defo agree with this post, i think he is alittle cought up in the fantisy and may start to resent you after, when the exitment is over and he thinks about what you have done
Well would you be happy to have two other guys doing that to you?! Never mind what he would like. Does he have guys in mind already?
There is a massive difference between fantasy and reality. Lots of people get turned on by things that are slightly out of the ordinary for their personality and preferences (for example I get turned on by the idea of a rough gangbang sometimes but in reality I know I would feel disgusting and degraded!) but in reality find that it really isn't for them.
Could you try filming yourselves having sex or using sex toys whilst you're at it to try and recreate that feeling of someone else touching you or watching you? xx
Dealing with any jealousy at the time is one thing. Once it has happened though there is no taking it back. If he already has issues with jealousy before the event I don't see how the situation would be improved afterwards.
I also agree with dotdashdot regarding the huge difference between fantasy and reality. A couple I know had a FFM threesome with a friend of theirs and seeing her boyfriend having penetrative sex with her friend was too much for the woman to handle and it all ended in a lot of tears.
Plenty of long conversations before going ahead with this I think.
Is this really so strange? I dunno. I think you can have this kind of fantasy and still be a jealous person haha. Perhaps just keep it that way though... I mean, I don't think I'm a jealous type, but the idea of someone nailing my girlfriend while I watch sounds pretty sexy, but at the same time in real life I wouldn't want anyone else touching her. It sounds like you're trusting of each other though. Just there could be an unfortunate consequence afterwards if you do go for it.