I've noticed that there is quite a number of people that are in a long distance relationship. There are a few threads that touch on this subject but nothing really focused (that I could find >.<).
I am currently in a long distance relationship of 1 and half years. We knew eachother for a year before that too. We met on a games site without the intention of a relationship and became great friends. It's funny when I think back on it as we used to discuss everything including his partner then (now ex obv). I know everything about him as he is my best friend and I am his. He's due to come over soon which I am absolutely excited about and can't wait for.
The negatives in such a relationship is the obvious lack of physical intimacy. It gets very hard sometimes as I missed, in particular, our wonderful loving hugs. It makes me all warm and fuzzy thinking about such moments. =P
I just wanted to know peoples' experience with this and also their opinions. For those in a LDR- what keeps you going? Also, for those that are not in a LDR:- the one thing that I feel like we have in abundance as opposed to a "normal" relationship is perhaps communication. Of course this is just in a general sense. I have to talk to my OH everyday and we make the most of what we have- mobiles/computers/webcams/mic etc. Also, when I'm feeling needy or clingy I make it known and he instantly reassures and is loving... The importance in communication is highlighted as one misunderstanding can lead to chaos.
Ps. I just realised.. What brought me to this site was the search for a toy for my OH. Looking back on my Order History I noticed I bought the Fleshlight in a can for him as my very first order.. lol. Got it before my very first vibe.. And.. Thank you LH, you guys make the distance a little more bearable. =P
Also, this site makes me smile. It's really cute. It also mentions the Clone-a-Willy Kit! =]
I'm sort of in a long distance relationship The OH lives about 2 hours away from me, which is technically the shortest distance LDR i've had! But we only really get to see each other once a month, for a week or two at a time so to me that feels like he might aswell be a million miles away.
It is really tricky, but like you say communication is the key. You have to make the most of what you've got and today's technology definitely helps loads.
Since we got into toys it's definitely given us an extra dynamic to our relationship, even just choosing toys for each other that we'll use when apart.. LH helps!
As you know, me and WandA were long distance for about 3 years or so before we moved in together.
What you describe is very similar to our relationship - we know each other inside out, we talk more than any couple I know (IRL) and we are excellent at communicating (talking and communicating are too separate things)
It's nice because even now, we don't take each other for granted because we know how nice it is to wake up to each other every day!
I wouldn't change our LD period for the world, it made us stronger, brought us closer and has taught us a lot about ourselves and each other.
We used see each other about once a month, and speak every day for at least an hour by phone. We used msn, webcam, phone calls, texts, letters, photos etc. to stay connected and it worked really well. We used to download a film together once a week and press play together on the phone! Little things make all the difference.
He bought me a toy early on but he didn't get his first until we lived together (is that right?).
I do, however, find being apart much more difficult now than I did when we were LD. Now I'm used to being with him and I know what I was missing (we'd never lived close, I really feel for people who have to go from "normal" to LD that's the worst way round), now it's harder to be apart. It was also more routine then...we'd spend 3-4 weeks apart and I knew the cycles - 1 weeks of being miserable, 2 weeks of not minding, 1 week of feeling distant emotionally then together for a week/weekend/fortnight rinse and repeat. It was easy to deal with because it was routine.
Having a goal helped a lot too - we had an end to our LD so we had something to look forward to and it really helped a lot!
@TWH- Yes, join the bandwagon. =] And I think I've seen that before. It does look interesting! Me and my OH were discussing about inventing our very own For Him and Her LDR toys. lol Interesting convo.
@WandA- lol, I agree.. Or Skype ad.. I've bought the Unlimited USA option which is excellent value. I use my unlimited landline on contract for a skype go to number too. Sucks for him. I call everytime I can't go to sleep demanding for him to sing me to sleep.. Yes, it usually end in him cussing at me lol It's still soothing! =P
@Adx- That sounds really sweet. I think it definitely helps having a goal. I'm wanting my uni course to finish soon.. Although thinking like that is making it drag on lol. I understand perfectly about the being separated to a LDR after living together scenario... I think I would find it really hard like that. I have withdrawal symptoms after we meet but if we had spent a really long time together I would find it much more difficult and unbearable. *Sigh*
My OH and I have been LD for the last 18months. Its been the best and the worst 18months of my life. For starters, everytime we plan to see each other (I know it sounds reallllly bad but this is true, either someone in his family gets really sick - or worse. Or I get stuck with a tonne of uni work). Like Ad and WandA, we use the lot - phone calls, MSN, texting, emails. And we watch movies together and send each other sickeningly romantic things in the mail. Its difficult sometimes when we haven't seen each other but then we talk it out :) And we are good at communicating, sometimes if my engaged friend falls out with her fiance, I just think WTF and stuff. Though, recently we decided we might want kids soon, I made the mistake of telling engaged friend and she freaked out saying I don't know him well enough, well the irony of that is I know my OH better than she knows her fiance. Funny little world. As challenging and difficult as it is sometimes, I would not swap this relationship for anything in the world, and the only way I'd change it would for him to move closer to me :)
I must say - being young *and* LD - our relationship seemed meaningless to a lot of people.
But really, it's more secure because it's a big difference - truth is we knew how committed we were from very early on and though it took us 5 years to get engaged and will probably take another 5 to get married, we're happy and secure in our committment to each other and others will see that eventually!
Yeah, I see your point! And it bugs me but you know what? I'm happy, he's happy - I don't really care about anyone else now. It also bugs me when people think I'm being naieve and thats its not as strong a relationship as ''normal'' ones. I'm not naieve, I just happened to have found a guy who makes me happy being me, loves me for me and I absolutley adore. I would be naieve if I gave in to social norms and settled for someone who treated me ok, didn't think I was the prettiest girl in the world but didn't think I was the ugliest.
Hi DL, I think what many people don't realise is how intense a LDR can get. I used to talk to my OH everyday (still do now) and what was a year felt like years I've spent with him. It's because the amount of time spent with the other person is much more condensed than how it is in person. That's how it seems to me anyhow.
I think it's a little presumptuous for someone to assume that you don't know the other person well enough. Let me know when you meet and remember to still be safe! Those horror stories still bug me lol.
I wish you the best! A little advice- I find it really nice when you enter the OH's life more- like contact with their family etc. Makes it more real and sweet. I've sent his family those cute gloves from accesorize in time for winter. They love me lol. =P
And Ad- I agree. The basis of relationships can be established clearly- probably due to the communication. We've decided already we want to get married and have kids. I say lots of babies- he says start with one. lol. It's all good. I feel grateful. We know what we want and are aiming towards it. Get some rest, Ad! Perfect time to use the Philips Massager with WandA. =]
I'll be telling the ENTIRE world when we do haha but I get what you mean with the horror stories, but, I'm pretty sure I would have figured out if he was a major creep by now :D I know he's a major nerd (makes me love him more) but not a creep :) His mum added me on Facebook so I talk to her heaps - she's actually really awesome :D
I'm not too sure if I'm qualified to suggest the below as I don't have a LDR, I live with my boyfriend and have done for 4 years.
However, we often spend a month or so apart when I go to visit family a couple of times a year, and during that time we miss each other like mad! We are constantly on the look out for ways to stay connected, and the best way by far is to record short videos on our phones or webcams and send them too each other at random times throughout the day. The videos range from tame strip teases to full on self love with or without toys! Its really sexy to ask your partner what they would like to see and then record it for them, or to set each other little sexy challenges..just be imaginitive!
Depending on how saucy you are, we also enjoy booking each other for an hour of watching porn with each of us on our laptops and talking over Skype. He suggests vids to me and I suggest them to him! Always makes us both super horny for when we see each other again!
Good luck with your relationship and make sure you get a clone-a-willy kit for the next time you see each other, they are great! x
Me and Superfurry have a LDR. This has been as far as him living in Turkey and me in England.
I think being best mates is what makes me and him work. We spend around 3 hours a day talking on the phone and around 3 or 4 hours on computer. We have phone sex regulary, write sexy stories, send texts, look at porn together and of course Love Honey.
Best thing is, we just talk about the general stuff that keeps us going. Sex is the easy part, is all the other stuff thats harder.
Hes supporting me through cancer and a heart problem, we both have mental health problems and I have alot of past relationship baggage.
He is my number one friend though, and we talk about everything. Even if its uncomfortable, we do it. Its what makes us work