ok, so i was talking to some friends about something they still think is controversial but i think is ridicules. so im sure every male, female, non-binary ect. on here has used a sex toy at some point so im slightly curious on your views too.
so i mentioned to three of my closest friends (2f, 1m) that the sex toys i had recently bought really opened my eyes to exploring a lit more, Bothe my 1st male and female friend said it was cool that i was trying something new and that they where thinking of doing something similar.
however my 2nd female friend seemed a little off put by it, and not in the sense that she would never talk about the subject (she owns a toy herself ) but it was the fact that i mentioned i had something like a flesh light that she turned away at, as if her using a vibe was ok but somehow a man using a toy to pleasure his dick was wrong…
has anybody else had this with a friend or am i just overthinking this lol
and what do you personally think of the matter?
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. There is definitely nothing wrong with anyone of any gender using the toys that give them pleasure.
Without knowing why she reacted like that it is hard to comment. It may be that she isn’t a fan of that sort of toy for whatever reason, maybe it is a step too far for her comfort zone, or maybe it was something completely unconnected. But if she does have an issue with that type of toy then that is her problem and not something you need to shoulder and feel bad about using it.
Some might find this a bit strange, but apart from hubby, the only person that I can talk to is my sister in-law. We’ll talk about toys, lingerie and bondage. I can talk to her as much as she can talk to me.
With my other friends sex doesn’t get brought up, or anything to do with sex.
One was reading an article in a magazine about sex toys, and they remarked how disgusting it was and and that the person who owned them was too. I just said why is masturbation disgusting I could feel my blood boiling but held back saying more (doing the school run) they just come back with because it’s wrong so I can safely say I won’t be telling them about my collection of toys or sex life.
@Dirty-Wife yeah i suppose most people don’t really talk to their friends about stuff like that but honestly us fore have always been open books. and @Calie as you said maybe yeah its just her problem or just a little bit of a stretch for her. Perhaps its just something to keep to yourself, lovers and people you don’t know on the internet (LHF particularly lol). Also props for not over blowing on a school run (only time i like to be called disgusting is… well you can figure that out lol
For some people toys are still an unknown or see them in very different ways.
I think it’s brilliant how far sex toys have come for males / penetration. The market used to be very vibrater focused / insertable etc now things focus on both sexes / interests.
Never feel ashamed about this and being open to friends / using fleshlights is a great place to be. Helps our fantasy’s / desires and just part of having fun and enjoying our life’s .
As a Mrs and Mrs we think it’s great and keep enjoying your toys
However wrong, I think it probably is still true that woman’s sex toys are more accepted in society than ones aimed at penis pleasure. I don’t think the media has helped this. Back in the 90s Sex and the City’s portrayal of the rabbit vibrator caused a huge surge in sales and for the most part in films and TV shows when female sex toys appear it is in an, “it’s normal for woman to have them” role (albeit sometimes under embarrsssing circumstances).
Off the top of my head I cant think of any film or TV show where the same can be said of male toys. Generally it’s ridiculed having a sex doll and never a mention of fleshlights or strokers or the like. The cool dude role is always having sex with women and never uses toys. It’s ridiculous.
Everyone should be free to pleasure their sexual organs and hopefully the media and society as a whole will catch on to this. Places like this forum help with that. Be happy @harlyD you’re ahead of the curve.
oh but don’t you know??? the boys are either A) studs who can pick up any straight woman B) never have sex or pleasure themselves or C) GAYYYY!!!
i am neither… sorta… ok the mostly gay is pretty set in stone. anyways… the media only sees three types of men from what ive seen. again only imo
Out of curiosity, i googled it and it looks like fleshlights have cropped up a couple of times in films (yes, i was surprised too) but it looks like its mainly dildos and rabbits that get the big screen treatment
Agreed. For some reason there’s a mindset that only “losers” without partners are sad and lonely enough to use dolls, flesh lights and toys. It’s silly
Refreshingly yes, reasonably. It was a comedy, so obviously they made a joke out of it looking like a torch. But to be honest i think everyone laughs at that anyway so it was pretty inevitable
Yeah I only found out there were sex toys other than vibrators the year before last. And that straight women, lesbians and straight men liked things in their bottoms too.
I mean, sex dolls turn up. But the less said about them the better really.
Sex toys in general Dont turn up a hell of a lot though, so its not a big sample.
British tv shows sex toys more than films do to be honest
Never really experienced this at all so I’d try not to worry about it as you’ll find on here there is so many men, women, trans and non binary that enjoys using toys regardless of option.
Everyone has a comfort level when it comes to discussing sex toys (or even sex in general) and that’s okay, but judging someone for having a fleshlight when they have a toy themselves is very hypocritical.
When I was growing up there was definitely a change from a guy wanking was a loser, to all men do it. But ONLY WITH THEIR HAND. If anything goes inside you you are definitely gay.
And then For women, if you masturbate when you’ve got to use dildos or vibrators, because you just need a cock. And if you need a cock you must be a sl*t or a lesbian, or your husband is useless…
This has definitely changed somewhat, and I’m really glad. I think this mentality did a lot of damage to people at the time, I know it made me feel awkward and a bit confused when I decided to get a vibrator.
edited by mod - life on Lovehoney begins at 18 I had sex with one of my friends, enjoyed anal. Soon after I found my girlfriends vibrator and used that a couple of times without her knowing, then I bought one for myself. I thought I was a freak, I wasn’t attracted to any guys so couldn’t possibly be gay, but I didn’t just want to rub one out, I wanted more.
I’m really pleased that opinions on this have changed and that it is all way more acceptable and discussed than it was, but there is still further to go…
I could feel my blood boiling but held back saying more (doing the school run) they just come back with because it’s wrong 
so I can safely say I won’t be telling them about my collection of toys 
or sex life.
.
