Having now seen several threads where ladies have posted concern about their male partners with low or non-existent sex drive, low confidence and self esteem.
My thoughts on this are through observations of young men and helping older friends. Of course the things that I will touch upon can not be applied to every man but some of the issues will effect all men. It all stems back thousands of years to Hunter gatherer times. Men were made to hunt , build and defend his trip/ family. When life was this simple men new what and who they were. Intellect and looks weren't that important in finding a mate. Come forward a few thousand years and men became farmers, life was still tough but most stayed in one place providing food buy growing it or hemming in animals. We still needed to fight to defend our lands but principally men weree still providers by power and strength.
Come right forward to the industrial revolution and men then start to go into factories and down coal mines. Long hours in confined spaces and a total change in what is required of them. They are still the provider but they have to earn money to be able to buy your food and valuables.
We're am I going with all this, well modern man's roll has changed so fast that we have not been able to mentally evolve quick enough to understand what is required of us. All so young men are brought up in a very different way, education know is the only way to get a good job and be a provider. Plus ever increasing numbers of boys are being brought up without a good male roll model in my opinion this is very detrimental to a young man's confidence. They become aggressive or submissive. Join gangs and take there cues from there peers rather than from someone more learned and caring. This is a very key point in a males development. In the past his training would of been from there fathers or elders within a tribe or extended family's uncles. They would of been taught their value to the family. Taught to hunt, make and provide and respect. This word now seems to be used by teenagers to disrespect adults, with no idea of the true meaning of the word or how it can and should be earned.
It has been my privilege to coach many young men to play rugby, many different back grounds and upbringings. But it always struck me how so many of them were so different just after a game. The aggression was gone, they were happy and smiling even when they had lost. Sport has a massive part to play in helping young men as it simulates how most young men should of behaved naturally. Hunting and fighting enemies is how we're meant to be and sport especially contact sport is the modern out let for all this testosterone to be released within the modern values and laws. If you watch some of the last tribal people to became modern play sport they are totally different. Take the south sea islands Fiji and Tonga and the New Zealand's Maori's they don't play the modern gentlemen's sport, they totally relish the contact, the big hit.
So bring all this to today. Modern jobs bring stress it is a very bad thing for men sexually. One of the biggest things to cause erectile dysfunction this for a man is just about his worst nightmare. Being strong and hard is like a miniature version of how you are supposed to be. The worst thing about it is the downward spiral ,this in turn stresses you more worrying about it. Then health and diet wether we like it or not food is much more readily available now than it has ever been and as for its quality. High fat and carbs bring poor circulation in one way or another. Put into this as well smoking and alcohol. This again has a big impact on sexual performance and desire. Then there is exercise, many of today's jobs involve little or no physical exercise. All of the above work against sexual masculine health. I am aware that all this is also true for women but the anatomy of a woman would still allow them to have intercourse for a man no erection no sex.
Now the final piece is very emotive but it is very necessary do bring into the equation. Social etiquette, equality and law. Most of the recent movement has been to try and make us all equal, gender and strength are irrelevant. My opinion that this is only right and has been a big advance in society. However it totally undermines what young men are feeling pumping through there veins, I want to be the biggest, fastest, strongest, hardest, leader, top dog on the winning team. These qualities now are seen as arrogant and chauvinistic and a lot of the time unacceptable. Most men just can't help it. We ask them to behave in a way that doesn't feel natural. So this then muddles their masculinity. This why you then see it transgress into violence an outpouring of aggression. This very modern idea of men to take a lot of care over how good they look shaving there bodies, plucking hair,manicures the whole make over thing is a little effeminate and can send unusual sexual signals too.
Add to this first sexual contacts these also have very big impacts on how men then muture sexually.One of the toughest things that can really help breakdown all the barriers is to talk about it all, even this can be perceived as a weakness by many men. Don't show weakness, don't discuss it.
These are only my opinions and would love to hear what thoughts you all have on this difficult subject.