Hi, for many years now, I’ve had difficulties masterbating during my solo play, I tried standing up/perched on the bed/laying on my side & kneeling on the floor, to no avail, I find the only way is by sitting on soft plush toys, although I enjoy the feeling, I’m wondering if there’s something wrong with me, any advice would be great, thanks.
You’ve said in the past about the lack of intimacy in your relationship with your girlfriend, so I wonder if the block to the where and hows of having a wank might be a bit more of a psychological block In origin than a purely physical one. Not for me to say what is ‘normal’ but if you are concerned, I would recommend a chat to a GP to discuss a referral to a sexuality/ relationship Counsellor.
Alot of people have a favourite way to orgasm through masturbation and tend to stick with what works for them...and after a while it's what you get used to and what works. There's nothing "wrong" with you Knight1119. You've been doing it that way for a long time and it works for you...don't stop now...💋
Thanks CurvyJilly, I suppose from the first time I tried it, it just worked for me, I guess I’ll just carry on 💋
Everyone gets off in different ways Knight1119 and thinks different things for it to happen...what turns someone on in porn for example won't work for another...yes you carry on and enjoy yourself with no worries about how or why...you're not hurting anyone...and lifes way too short...🥰
That’s very true CurvyJilly, as long as I have a nice time, after all it’s only me and my toy.
It is Knight1119 and feeling "wrong" will start to spoil it for you...its right for YOU...and like you say it's only you and a toy...like me and mine...and so many others who use various different kinds of toys too...Enjoy yourself...💋💋
I hadn’t thought of it that way CurvyJilly, when I was a teenager it felt quite natural, but as I got older It made me think it wasn’t normal. Over the years though I tried many plush toys, & I sort of got hooked on the feeling they gave me. I’ve never spoken about this to anyone outside the forum.
No such thing as "normal" it would be a sad sad world Knight1119 if we were all the same. Please don't feel negative... if you're doing something you get self pleasure from and it's behind closed doors...just you and your toy...you don't need to tell anyone else...lots of people pleasure themselves with different items...fabrics...smells...toys...you'd be surprised. Carry on...💋
I agree with Jilly. There is no right or wrong way to masturbate - just YOUR way. Sure, some ways may be more uncommon but that doesn't make them "wrong". I have a similar thing were I like to be close to my pillow or have it on top of me while I masturbate. I think it's probably a comfort thing for me as it has my scent and I sleep clinging my pillow, too. It puts me at ease. For an intimate act with oneself, I think it's only natural for us to.
Many thanks Jilly, very kind.
Thanks HunnyMonster29. I keep myself to myself in the outside world, I never talk to anyone about my personal problems, I dreaded the thought of having to go down a Counsellor/therapist route, my idea of hell.
Thanks Alicia, very helpful, yes please if you could explain how you learned to do what you did.
Firstly Knight1119 there is nothing wrong with how you masterbate, we are all different. You know I think outside of the box, so I'm going for some wacky suggestions.
You enjoy the feel of something soft underneath you when you masterbate, so is there a way to recreate this is a different setting? A spong in the shower? Is it the stimulation you enjoy because there are lots of ways to stimulate your pereneum. Would you straddle you current girlfriend and masterbate towards her. (This May be a bit brave as suggestions go). But the feel of her under you might allow you to really let go.
My most practical suggestion is this https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=38675 it feels fantastic under you. You can easily fit a fluffier cover if required. Your girlfriend could use it with her toys, and you could use it together. I have one and love it, it has revolutionised my solo play since hubby became ill.
You still have needs Knight1119 you must find solo time and get yourself another plush toy...your partner has apologised for your lack of sex life...she must know you have sexual needs too...
Thanks Jilly, very kind, I need to somehow get one and think about where to store it .
Yes you do without any guilt...you have needs and need to fully embrace them...the pleasure will be even better...😘
If you could discuss this with your partner Knight1119 there would be less guilt and no hiding your plush...I'm sure she'd be happy you shared it with her instead of her thinking perhaps you're getting anything elsewhere...you already said she's apologised for no intimacy between you...just a thought. 😘
I was wondering if the the feeling of faux fur material with a firm pillow or cushion would do it for you instead? Not that there's anything wrong with what you are doing; I just wondered if throws and scatter cushions or bolsters could give the same effect? Or is the toy element a big part of the fun for you?
I'm a bit of a sucker for faux fur myself. Just love the feeling on bare skin 😋
Knight1119 , I feel for you ! My wife is disabled and has real close to zero sex drive and has been for many years . On top of that we are raising our 17 y/o grandson going on two years . So my options for masterbating are very limited . Wife just got a puppy also . Where two summers ago I could walk around nude or near nude and masterbate pretty much wherever I wished . I find it challenging to have a full ejaculation in my limted locations . Also I can not even make too much sound . I find that plugs and nipple suckers and often a cock sounding are my go to toys . My imagination of former or imaginary sex is a great help . May the climax gods assist you however you need .