I am somewhat perplexed that over the 7 years I have been with my husband, I can probably count on one hand how many times he has complimented me on my physical attributes.
However, i regularly compliment him and tell him how sexy his body, legs, ass is and how good he smells. I also commend him on his artistic, musical and intelletual talent on a regular basis.
In turn he will commend /compliment me in every other possible area other than my physical attributes i.e getting a new job or doing a 2 hour cycle ride with him or arranging a weekend away. In fact, i dont think sexually he has complimented me ... ever!! :-(
The question is why do some men not give compliments?
I get really upset that he isnt lusting after me, that he isnt noticing my weight loss (almost a stone since march) that he doesnt tell me how nice my hair looks, how great i look in a dress, heels when i am ready to go out for an evening. Why is this?
I make such an effort to dress well, to smell good every day, more so than he does. I get compliments from men and women at work, from people online, but never from the person I want it from most.
Well done on the weight loss, thats such an amazing achievement! (i myself have lost 2 1/2 stone since Jan)
Some men believe that they can over compliment their partners. I know for one my OH will always tell me how he feels about me - only last month he bought me a dress and told me i looked so beautiful it was making his heart race but then my OH knows how bleeding insecure i am so i think he makes an effort to reassure me.
Maybe your OH see's you as a confident sexy women, who doesnt need reassurance when in reality all women really want is to be told just how beautiful they are.
Some men believe that they can over compliment their partners. I know for one my OH will always tell me how he feels about me - only last month he bought me a dress and told me i looked so beautiful it was making his heart race but then my OH knows how bleeding insecure i am so i think he makes an effort to reassure me.
Maybe your OH see's you as a confident sexy women, who doesnt need reassurance when in reality all women really want is to be told just how beautiful they are.
Have you spoken to him about it Dee? x x x
Thanks Miss T & N - well done you for losing the weight too. Nice to also hear romance is still alive.
Firstly i am not that confident, having put 2 stone on since we met 7 years ago but now lost almost a stone so gaining a little confidence again.
Secondly, he rarely compliments so he could never ever over compliment.
Thirdly, he has never bought me any sexy lingerie, any nice clothes, taken me for a weekend away.
Its got me thinking, does he really fancy me and does he find me attractive?
I have hinted that he could pay me more compliments. But it goes through one ear out the other :-(
Some men believe that they can over compliment their partners. I know for one my OH will always tell me how he feels about me - only last month he bought me a dress and told me i looked so beautiful it was making his heart race but then my OH knows how bleeding insecure i am so i think he makes an effort to reassure me.
Maybe your OH see's you as a confident sexy women, who doesnt need reassurance when in reality all women really want is to be told just how beautiful they are.
Have you spoken to him about it Dee? x x x
Thanks Miss T & N - well done you for losing the weight too. Nice to also hear romance is still alive.
Firstly i am not that confident, having put 2 stone on since we met 7 years ago but now lost almost a stone so gaining a little confidence again.
Secondly, he rarely compliments so he could never ever over compliment.
Thirdly, he has never bought me any sexy lingerie, any nice clothes, taken me for a weekend away.
Its got me thinking, does he really fancy me and does he find me attractive?
I have hinted that he could pay me more compliments. But it goes through one ear out the other :-(
I think he needs to start realising just how amazing u r before its far too late!
Its annoying that he seems to make no effort at all in making you feel adored, sexy and loved! I am more than happy to hunt him down and slap him stupid!
Im sorry that i cant be of more help - maybe sensible men on here will be able to advise u better xxx
this answer is no help at all - but christ only knows, he obviously doesn't know how lucky he is to have you on his arm! I find it VERY difficult to believe that he has never sexually complimented you?!?!
An obvious question I know, but have you ever tried to raise the subject with him?
Thank you
I have brought the matter up a few times .. i,e when i get my hair cut i have to ask him if its ok and does he like it. He just replies `yeah'. Or if i go out, i say` do you think i look good' he say `yeah you look nice' but not always proper eye contact. Maybe that is his way, I dont know. I have even mentioned to him that guys at work have noticed things , weight, hair, nice outfit and compliment me, in the hope he says something. He rarely responds.
I havent asked him specifically to pay me compliments as i am not sure how to.
one thing you missed out dee how many times a week you have sex and who initiates it?
Got nothing to do with sex. I find the remark offensive.
Obviously that's your opinion, and I'm not saying you're wrong to be offended, but as a guy I have to say I can see where MoP is coming from.
Men are generally more physical than women, just as women are generally more emotional than men. Rather than giving you verbal compliments, (and not for the sake of initiating sex), what is he like in terms of giving you hugs, kisses, etc as I find guys will often do these things. Just because he is not saying anything, doesn't mean it's not a compliment and isn't a sign of affection.
I know how you feel as my wife is the same with me, and it's not pleasant. However the have sex with me and i will give you a compliment part of the thread is wrong. Also if you have to ask for compliments then they arent really compliments. They should be spontaneous...
well men and women for that matter can be a little insensitive or can miss the chance to compliment and make another feel good, however it seems like you've drawn his attention to this and i guess you have a choice to make. Either accepting that the way things are now in that respect will likely continue or to have a full and frank conversation - the depth of which may not necessarily provide the 'right ' outcome.
Asking how it comes to be that others are commenting on your w/loss or that you're looking good and him? Or telling him that you feel you've been doing well on the w/loss and that you feel so much better -0 reflected in other nice comments and that it's important for you to give uyou continued confidence and asking outright why he doesn't seem able to bring himself to make unsolicited remarks?
Feel for you. I berate Hub most times when we're going out and he hasn't critiqued my appearnce - but in fairness i don't tend to give him time! i normally compliment him and he feels that by replying immediately lacks sincerity. Luckily he makes up for that by making his love and lust known in othert ways.
Dee - wish you well in resolving or coming to terms......
i think man of pleasure was just tryna get a picture of your sex life because if youre having plenty of sex initiated by your husband then he must still find you attractive
Compliments should not be based on a sex scheme basis! I find it offensive as a women - my partner would never give me a compliment just to get into my knickers.
Men dont realise that women respond to being appreciated - its not about money or presents its about feeling your partner is attracted to you and women only know this when they are given compliments. This is now not advice for Dee but for all the men out there
Men are generally more physical than women, just as women are generally more emotional than men. Rather than giving you verbal compliments, (and not for the sake of initiating sex), what is he like in terms of giving you hugs, kisses, etc as I find guys will often do these things. Just because he is not saying anything, doesn't mean it's not a compliment and isn't a sign of affection.
Thanks
He does try and hug me alot, and i recipricate most times.
But as a woman who has gained and now losing the weight, as a woman who is 5 years older than him I want him to say how he feels so that i know he wants me. I want to hear him say how sexy I am either in or out of bed. I know men do say these things because of what i read on these forums, but maybe its a small percentage of men and I should be happy with the cuddles.
I think that sometimes it simply doesn't occur to some people to give compliments, particularly to their partner. Men often answer a question of how you look in an outfit with a "yeah, fine I suppose" type of answer without realising how much effort you've put in to it and how important it is to you.
Giving compliments is something that makes everyone feel good and men like it too. Your OH must feel good for all of the positive words you have for him but maybe he feels that he is doing the same by saying how well you're doing at work. You know your OH better than anyone so not sure how much an outside perspective can help you get to the bottom of it.
At least you're getting plenty of compliments elsewhere and I'm sure those aren't going to stop.
i think man of pleasure was just tryna get a picture of your sex life because if youre having plenty of sex initiated by your husband then he must still find you attractive
Im not getting plenty of sex that is also a problem but he does give me hugs. Surely sex isnt a reason for getting compliments.
But it was the way MOP actually posted the comment, without any acknowledgement of anything i had said previously that offfended me, not so much the content.
Miss teach&nurse wrote:
Compliments should not be based on a sex scheme basis! I find it offensive as a women - my partner would never give me a compliment just to get into my knickers.
Men dont realise that women respond to being appreciated - its not about money or presents its about feeling your partner is attracted to you and women only know this when they are given compliments. This is now not advice for Dee but for all the men out there
i think man of pleasure was just tryna get a picture of your sex life because if youre having plenty of sex initiated by your husband then he must still find you attractive
Im not getting plenty of sex that is also a problem but he does give me hugs. Surely sex isnt a reason for getting compliments.
But it was the way MOP actually posted the comment, without any acknowledgement of anything i had said previously that offfended me, not so much the content.
Miss teach&nurse wrote:
Compliments should not be based on a sex scheme basis! I find it offensive as a women - my partner would never give me a compliment just to get into my knickers.
Men dont realise that women respond to being appreciated - its not about money or presents its about feeling your partner is attracted to you and women only know this when they are given compliments. This is now not advice for Dee but for all the men out there
Absolutely correct.
I agree that compliments shouldn't be based on getting sex, but when I read MoP's first comment, I read it as initiating sex was the compliment??
