I'm feeling really emotional and angry today! My OH and I have been together for 4 years, I am 20 and he is 28. Recently I've been feeling really low and I have no self esteem, it's not helped by the fact the he picks on little things - like this morning he was moaning that my legs were stubbly after not shaving them for 2 or 3 days, so I got angry and upset and we had a big row. It sounds petty but he always picks up on things and makes me feel pretty crap. I rarely get complimented and just want it to be like how it used to be. However, I do think I am some to blame since being with him I have gone from a sie 8 to a 12 and I am ashamed of how I look and do not feel attractive. There has been a lot of stress within day to day life at the moment and things have only just started getting better but I don't know what to do, if I confront him he just denies it and says he does love me.
Hope I haven't ranted too much, needed to get it off my chest!
I wouldn't take it to heart so much. My husband does this a lot, yesterday I put on a brand new pair of pants that have a heart cut out on the bum. He thought it would be good to mention the large spot i currently have on my bum cheek was shown off nicely in them!
I mean does he actually do it nastily or jokily?
mine jokes all the time.
I too went from a 8 but to a 14!
Men generally don't think like women do, they don't realise the little things they say or do really upset us.
But I do get how you feel, I've been there many a time. Now I tend to ignore it. But huge hugs from me as sometimes thats all you need xx
I've been thought this too. I think sometimes when you're in a long term relationship we forget to show our affection, men especially.
I was feeling down about my body and just spoke with my husband about it and told him I need more compliments. His reponse was "well I've already told you how attractive you are"! Men presume that because they told you a few months ago that you're set for life and never need to hear it again. My husband honestly just presumed that I knew that he found me attractive.
So I would just speak with him, tell him you feel down and you don't get compliments off him. It doesn't make you strange, all women need constant reassurance, but men don't usually know that.
Question. Does he shave his face and pubes everyday?
You need to sit down and explain this as slowly and clearly as you can, he needs to understand how much his opinion means, my OH jokes about things, I've put on a stone in the 10 months I've been with him but he also tells me how much he loves everything about me. I'd be distraught if he stopped saying those things.
Just explain how you feel about yourself and that as crazy as it sounds women do need regular assurance that our OH finds us attractive. Also, I imagine he's put on weight and feels less attractive than he used to, how often do you tell him how gorgeous he is?
you just need a good heart to heart...but men aren't great at these if we're being honest
Like all communicaton, that's easier written than said!
I agree with pinkanimal; I wouldn't take this personally. I can't speak for any other men, but I quite say things I really don't mean that much just for the sake of having something to say which I can often (but not always) see is a stupid thing you have blurted out.
It's actually a surprisingly easy habit to get into, being an asshole. I've fallen into that trap several times and it always takes my wife pointing out that I'm being one to make me buck up my ideas and put in that extra bit of effort that women need and men don't realise.
I think it's down to different senses of humour, also. My male friends and I say things to each other etc that would shock a navvy but we don't take it personally.
Sometimes it's easy to forget that women do take seemingly innocuous comments more to heart than men.
We have a good sense of humour between us, we tease each other and say things just for a laugh, and we joke react upset so the other says they're sorry and how much they love you. It's a joke, we're playful but have a line, and know the other needs to know gorgeous they are, men aren't as hard as they make out
If your partner is doing anything that upsets you, especially if they don't really know they are or don't think it's a big deal, then communicaiton is definitely the key.
You need to discuss it in a way that he doesn't feel that you're having a go at him and that you're not blaming him, something along the lines of:
"I know that you're intenionally trying to hurt me but I'm feeling really stressed lately and more self conscious. I hate having fights with you and I love you."
The best advice I would have to give is to not take things in life as much to heart - that's easier said than done but I noticed a significant improvement in myrelationship and happiness when I started actively overriding my intial response to what people say. basically, try and think about whether the other person was intentionally trying to be mean to you and if not then ignore the comment, smile and move on. If it is really troubling you then politely inform them that you don't appreciate them saying things like that. I've managed to get out of so many fights this way, with so many different people in my life. I find it's a much better way to approach the situation than just throwing a strop like I used to.
The thing to remember is that if you're being open about your feelings the other person may get hurt sometimes. It's not about saying everything on the top of your mind all the time otherwise the other person will feel like you're having a go at them and get very defensive.
In short: try and avoid fights, don't take as much offence and have open, constructive conversatoins instead. I know it sounds silly but it worked wonders for me! 
Additional life tip: never be the first to get annoyed or raise your voice, no matter how wrong you think the other person is! I've been reading through the book The Rules of Life by Richard Templar and it's fantastic for putting things in perspective, I'd highly recommend it 
He needs to realize too many comments like that you'll eventually walk that's how it can start petty remarks tell him to look at his self just lately. Has he made an effort hugs, Men they don't get it sometimes do they?
As I was reading through this thread, a thought jumped into my mind: "This is how men communicate with other men"
Have you ever heard them down the pub, or in a group, they tend to shred each other as a form of bonding "What the hell did you do to your hair man" and "That shirt is way to tight for you" (Swear words and insults removed so as not to break the rules) It made me wonder if some guys do this as a form of bonding. When I think about it, men also take a lot of stick for appearance as they grow up, but the locker room banter can be so much crueller on men, because they have to hide the fact that they are offended. If someone comes along and shouts "Ha! Tiny penis", the guy is expected to laugh and say "Fuck off" and keep smiling, or shoot an insult back. If he so much as shows signs of weakness, he is attacked so much more. In my experience, men can be way more self deprecating that women.
I just wonder if some guys, especially younger guys, are used to this "locker room" or "guys" way of communicating and just don't quite understand how women take that kind of "banter" (They always seem shocked to discover we took it to heart so much) I don't think men take it any less to heart, I just think they have been "trained" to "man up" and not show it hurt and to do it to show you care...strangely! lol (In a similar vain...have you seen how many male friends find it funny to hit/slap/cause physical pain to each other as a laugh? You only have to spend 10 minutes on Youtube to find these male on male "pranks". Men confuse me! lol)
Of course, all of the above is assuming he is joking...or trying to have cheeky banter with you. If he is actually being serious and nasty, then ...well...NO!
No matter which, you should tell him it hurts your feelings and knocks your confidence when he makes these remarks. It could be that he doesn't even realise he is doing it.
It's completely normal for men to mock each other and male friends know how much mocking is funny and how much is too much. The female mind is a complete mystery to us in many ways and this can be a wonderful and terrible thing.
At some point most men work out the things you can't say to women and largely stop saying them while simultaneously adding in the nice things that would result in permanent banishment if said to male friends. Sadly, there are always the occasional slips.
Assuming he was joking, then he needs to be reminded how the female mind works.