Munches and such

We havent got any local to me but ive always wanted to go to a munch just to meet others in the community :pensive:

Interesting so it’s just like a club lunch thing where they get together to chat and make friends and eat some nosh :smile:

Haha not sure why I had the image of people bent over the buffet table with a queue of people and their paddles waiting to slap each bum as they pass it :rofl:

Sounds like a modern Tupperware party! :cowboy_hat_face:

I used to attend a beach retreat of BDSM weekend in NC with a group. This was years ago before when the lifestyle was rather secret. It was wonderful. All types of sessions, displays, exhibitions and good food. All at a beach house on the coast. We always came away feeling excitement about what we learned or showed. I think you will find more than a mere hot bottom demonstration and you will like the event and feel like we did after we went.

Interesting to see a few folks’ experiences with munches and how they can differ and also to see a few folks that had never heard the term. I guess they can all be organized differently and include different things. Back before social media when we first started exploring Alt lifestyle stuff I ran across a locally run message board that required I register, provide a few details, and then wait for a mod to approve my registration. Once on board, the message board discussion covered most flavours of the alt lifestyle from suspension, to Dom to sub to sissy to whatever. They also promoted a weekly Tuesday night “munch” at a large pub on the border of the city and burbs every Tuesday night. The pub was well chosen as it was large and had one section off to the side that wasn’t tables and chairs but rather sofas (couches ) around various coffee tables. First time I went I knew I had the right place when I saw several people wearing collars. It was interesting because most introduced themselves based on their username rather than real name. After we attended a few times for social discussions I received an invite to join a private forum on the message board that listed private play parties. Locations would vary but it was about once a month. It could be an empty retail space, a large adult store willing to rent out a Saturday night for floor space, or even a small industrial space. Parties were open to all kinks, always had at least a hobby DJ, non-alcoholic,and provided a safe environment to play. It was great to also see the mentorship taking place. I learned to use a 6" single tail whip because of this experience and having a mentor that played with an 8’ whip. Catching it in the ceiling fan at home while practising was my own damn fault and taught me my stroke wasn’t right. If you find a munch that has at least a little screening involved without being snooty or exclusive you may be onto something. If it’s totally open to anyone, proceed with caution.

There was one recently local-ish to me in Australia, catered for a part of the community I’m involved in (and in which all the munches are usually in the states).

I would’ve loved to go, but unfortunately my health that week tanked a bit. It was the first one, but apparently the turnout was good, so there’s a chance I’ll get to go to a future event :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I think they’ll be a great way to just get out of our regular routine, and exchange ideas with others also residing in the same community

I have to admit, when I first heard the name, I imagined it as some sort of oral sex buffet scenario!:joy:

The first munch we went to (very recently) was in a bar so I got very confused about the next event because some folks called it the ‘slosh’ on account of the alcoholic drinks available.

The munch seems to serve quite a few purposes for my wife & I.
The first is safety, I‘d say. Meeting other kinksters fully clothed in a public/community setting is a way to establish that you‘re meeting genuine people, and get along. Kink wasn’t the opening topic in our chats, and it was purely social chit-chat to begin with. We chatted to a lovely couple about our favourite board games and our pets to start off :nerd_face:. The kinkiest we got was talking about what’s happening with other local kinky events and groups, and what we’re excited to learn about.

The community aspect is reassuring in that newbies like us can be warned about unsafe players, etc. My wife and I were warned pretty immediately about a guy we’d spoken to for a bit because he isn’t very experienced, and likes to style himself as a strict Dom. A case of ‘all the gear but no idea’, we were told. Red flags were waving right there! He’s not hurt or upset anyone yet, but the people at the munch are nevertheless well aware of him and monitoring discreetly, whilst welcoming him cautiously into the fold so he can hopefully learn.

Because we need to maintain an amount of privacy as regards our lifestyle, the munch let us check out that our work colleagues, clients, and family aren’t active in our local groups. If we ever were to bump into my niece, or my wife’s boss or something, the public setting and mix of kinky and non kinky people gives excellent plausible deniability.

We’ve set up Fetlife profiles (which helped us find the munch in the first place & make ourselves known to the organisers).
The aim is to help people get to know a bit about us & our personalities, proclivities & boundaries. The socials profiles enhance the real world introductions.
This feels like a good way to build up to trusting people with our most intimate details, and to be trusted in return.

Everyone was really lovely, it was super informal and friendly to so I can definitely recommend.

Looking forward to taking up an invite to a shibari suspension demo next, and maybe a play party invite or two at some point soon. :yum::raised_hands:

I’ve hosted two munches in my time with varying degrees of success. One petered out, but the other, which has since been rebranded, is now one of Bristol’s most loved gatherings.

I’m not quite understanding what you mean when you say that it would “show” that domestic discipline is normal? For some people in the BDSM community then yes, it’s totally normal, but it’s not normal for everyone. My husband and I don’t do DD, but there are still rules I have to follow. He only spanks me if I do wrong (which is almost never because I’m totally a good girl* :grin:)

With that being said, definitely pop down anyway. Most munch hosts and attendees are lovely and even if you feel a bit out of place, I guarantee it won’t last for long :slight_smile:

*If you really believe that, you’ll believe anything :wink:

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Haha the slosh!! Who makes these event names! They need a gold sticker for creativity :joy:

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Why, Kinky people of course! :kissing_heart:

I think the ‘munch’ goes waaay way back. Like decades and decades. It was even more essential when society was less accepting of difference and diversity.

Not sure about ‘slosh’ tho. New to me!

Now I feel old. :smiling_face:

Woah wonder if romans used the word munchin when they had open orgies :sweat_smile:

I’m sure your not that old :grin:

The bits all work just fine, just not necessarily in exactly the same place anymore.

One negative I will mention from attending munches is that there were two couples into Gor. Most don’t likely know what that means (hint: it’s not blood and guts) but there is a great write up on Wikipedia about it. I found it weird, abusive (even though apparently consensual), misogynistic, down right rude, and chauvinistic in nature. I very much felt uncomfortable around the two males into this lifestyle and felt sorry for their partners. No problem with caning that turns black and blue with open welts if that is what a couple is into but Gor really offended me. It was accepted at the munch as one of many alt lifestyles but I didn’t care for it at all.

Damn there really is a thing for everything !! I shall have to do research on this Gor kink as never heard of that either before

So here is an update we attended a munch last night much what we expected just a few people socializing and eating. For the. OST part very normal except for one guy. He made it a point to say something rude like it was good not getting to know everyone an it will be great not coming again next time.

I almost wonder if it was because he was clearly not a woman and dressed like one? It was a restaurant and it almost seemed like he was taking the opportunity to force others to accept his kink?

Just seemed like it was a family restaurant and it was really not appropriate for him to involve others including children in his kink. There were young children there and I would not want to have explain that one to my children. Perhaps it’s just me being old school but I think it was inappropriate.

That is the advantage of a munch @wcd … you get to pre-screen those you want to hang with.

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I don’t think you will like it if your dig into it @ AJSTAR. You seem to be more into standard kinks if that is such a term.