Munches and such

Just wondering everyone’s thoughts on attending munches etc?

Do you think it would help show that such things as domestic discipline etc were more normal than people,think?

Recently I asked my wife if she would be interested in attending some spanking events to my surprise she said yes! Which led to my follow up question of Seriously you would like to? Again there was a resounding yes. And here I thought she just was agreeing to it because it was something I wanted to try.

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Munches set up some of my best contacts and experiences, but they can be a bit of an obligation as well. You have to attend regularly to be known and know who the players are and what they are into.

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U R one lucky guy. My wife does things for/to me but it us because I want them. I wish she was really into it but I’ll take what I can get and it’s been good so far.

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Yes and no. I am fortunate enough to have explored a ton of different things in the past, but these days, she is no longer interested. That being said, I love her dearly and am 100% committed.

Indeed I guess we will be off to a head start . We will be attending munch for a local spanking group. So at least everyone up front will know its a group of people interested in spanking.

That is kind of interesting because any of my local munches have been all interest based. Have fun !

My wife starts out like this when we introduce anything new into our play and, like you, although I appreciate what she will do for me I always like her to have a good time too . Fortunately, over time, she realises how good she can make me feel and she does get into the activities and enjoys them herself.

How do you go about finding Munches local to you?

I attended a few munches back in my very early 20s when I wanted to learn more about the BDSM scene. You have two different types of munches. One where you meet in a public place eg pub and one where it’s more private. I attended the public place one first. Everyone their was dressed in ordinary clothing and the talk was very mild. The munches that are private were a lot more focused on practical play and as a young girl I was very much respected in the community. The people who hosted the munches was very professional and I felt extremely safe. I can’t be more grateful with how well I was treated. I never took part in any play and I was just their to learn.
I have left that part of me behind now since starting a family but I would encourage anyone who is interested in BDSM to get involved within their local community but do your research first and make sure it’s safe and well organised.
All the information I found for these was on a popular BDSM site. Happy to answer any questions regarding Munches.

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Munches are a good place to meet other kinky people and to find out more about your local community and learn generally.

Some munches are aimed at certain groups (be that based on kink, age, gender, sexuality, non kink interest etc) and some are more general. As munches are normally held in public places, don’t expect any actual play or even overt kinkiness. Also don’t expect it will be constant conversation about kink, yes people do talk about kink and will answer questions etc, but there can often be as much chat about every day stuff.

I’d also suggest going to classes and talks if you can. As your interest is spanking/discipline definitely look for those ones, but don’t limit yourself to just those. I’d highly recommend consent and negotiation workshops, but anything that can have some cross over would be good, such as impact play general, kink 101, dominance and submission, Femdom, dungeon disasters, first aid for kinksters, scene etiquette, etc. Also, any class that focuses on kink in the bedroom to help you define your play away from discipline.

Fetish markets are also a good place to go. Not sure which country you are in but there seems to be a new one popping up every other week in the UK at the moment. Many stall holders are really knowledgable about their stuff so can give great advice, but also many of these markets do workshops and demos and things included in the entry as well as some having after parties, which are normally more chill than the average play party.


What’s munches? And how does a spanking event play out :sweat_smile:

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I looked it up.

It’s lunches or meals orgasised by like minded people (in the context of this forum it’s people who share an interest in kink,BDSM,etc.).

They can be in public eateries or private functions but they seem to be social rather than physical.

A munch is a social gathering, normally in a vanilla setting but not always, where kinky people can meet up, chat and get to know each other.

Spanking parties work like any sex party. There will be play areas (depending on the venue, some may be private, some public) and people can play, watch and socialise


Munches are events where like minded people who are into all different aspects of BDSM get together and talk openly or play together. The ones I have been to are non sexual.
The private ones which I’m presuming a spanking one will be held in will be for people who are interested in spanking. You will have people turn up with their homemade products or retail bought things to show off or to test out. You will have people who want to learn how to make the products or people who would like the products being used on them. I attended one where a guy had personally made a long tail whip and a lady very kindly let him test it out infront of us.

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I have been thinking of attending some local munches but as someone mentioned you would probably invest some time into getting to know people. Which is fine if you have the time to spare :slightly_smiling_face:

If you are in the UK, the Birmingham and London have Fetish markets which have also been known to have a Demo on a certain subject. These can be very informative and entertaining.

It has been some time since I have been to a ‘club’. Back in the day (sounding old!) I frequented a good few, plus private events which once you are trusted can be great to be involved in. I think times have changed or I have as the appeal has dwindled for me but never say never and you both may love the experience, so go for it!

Omg I thought this was a typo - but after looking it up - it’s correct

Personally I’m not interested- I deliver a superior spanking to my husband- nothing better than turning a pink bottom a nice deep shade of red

I’m sure he would agree :paddle:

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That’s funny. My wife does a good job as well. One of our motivating factors for attending the munch is to meet people that are involved in local kinky events. Also it seems like a good way to get to know people ahead of time.

Yes we are looking forward to attending the munch because they are supposed to be a casual environment where people mingle and talk about many things.

We are fortunate in that there is a local well driving distance venue that holds educational events on such topics as bdsm, spanking and others. It appears once you attend a few munches and get to know people you can attend actual,events.

We looked on … to find local events there. I’m not sure if listing another website is ok or not but if not please send me a message and I will share what has worked for us.

I say, if you are both keen to learn and explore that within your relationship, then go for it.

I have personally found munches a good way to learn and interact with other, open minded individuals where you can talk openly and without judgement. As well as them providing ideas of what to bring into my own life.

You may not necessarily see domestic discipline but a range of dynamics that will likely include those of a Dominant/submissive nature, as well as all other variations in between and outside of this bracket.

Whether a social munch or play munch/event, I would say they can demonstrate that each dynamic is different and it is about finding what works for you both within your own dynamic.
In talking to and observing others, you can learn and identify things you want to try and see what works for you both and what you both enjoy.

Whatever you decide, I hope you both have fun and enjoy your exploration.

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Thanks I think you are right we may not find a specific domestic discipline group, but I think there are many activities that have similar components, such as bdsm, spanking, femdom the list goes on. So definitely worth exploring. Meeting people seems like a good idea as well.