I live in a busy house and there's almost always someone else at home. I want a few hours so I can just truly let go. I might be seeing the fella at Xmas but I'm hoping to see him before then but his sister always offers me a place to stay at hers because I can't really afford a hotel room especially around Xmas.
Hopefully I can go back to his and let go but in the meantime I need to find a way where I'm not having to rush myself, a chance to actually get naked and have fun I usually just about sneak 10 minutes max to myself. If I go missing for longer the family get suspicious and the siblings want to come and see me or want me to do things with or for them so I can't be gone long. At night is difficult too because the walls aren't exactly soundproof so basically what I get is a max of 10 mins to have fun I have to keep my clothes on and I have to be as quiet as possible and ready to spring out of bed in case anyone calls or walks in. Part of me can't wait to move out just so I can take as long as I need unfortunately money wise moving out isn't possible
I don't have time for porn either which doesn't usually bother me but I have been a little curious lately but it just feels like I can't. I won't ever be able to bring the guy I'm seeing back to mine we'll get walked in on lol siblings don't understand knocking and if they knock and I say no (like I'm getting dressed) they walk in anyway
Could you treat yourself to a nice bottle of bubble bath and a good waterproof toy? Take regular long baths and if they somehow question it (not that they should!) just say it's the best way for you to relax. Also, it may be worth keeping an eye on sites like wowcher/5pm to see if you can find cheap weekends away. If people ask what to get you for bdays etc you could ask for vouchers for things like that. I can vouch for this toy being super quiet and waterproof: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30890
Yeah baths are pretty much the only alone time I get. Got a bullet vibrator as a present and my whole family found out so it'll be hard getting another toy although I've just about managed to get lube and some presents off others without anyone finding out (for now) I keep them hidden but still worry
It's just not practical to take a bath every time I need fun plus finding time when my sister isn't in the bath is a challenge too lol went for some private time earlier and I got half way up the stairs to hear my mum tell my brother to get the washing from his room and he stayed there playing his guitar for over an hour so I literally had over an hour wait for 5 minutes of fun
Even in a crowded family home you should have your own personal and private space. The fact that your siblings just come in as they please even if you've told them no after they knock is a pretty big boundaries issue. Play time aside, I think you should have a talk about respecting privacy as a whole with your family. You're 22-23, right? You don't need siblings walking in on you as you're getting dressed! And people getting suspicious if you're gone for more than 10 minutes and coming looking for you...eesh. Can't a girl have some quiet alone time?
Can you get a lock for your door? I would try to negotiate one on the logic of siblings barging in when you're getting dressed making you feel violated, that's not something your parents should ignore.
My parents got me a lock it didn't work out well especially as I have a fear of being locked in spaces.
They're not that bad now (she says trying to watch TV with the sister coming in every two minutes!) when it comes to walking in its mostly the little sister and I'm like don't mind me I'll just jump under my duvet half dressed whilst you tell me some pointlessness that I don't care about.
Then there's being called for things like Can you pop to the shop (mid orgasm that's very off putting!) or footsteps up and down the stairs. It's a pain in the bum. Then there's things like the brother wailing on his guitar, parents room next door people bringing mates around so they knock on my door "can I use your charger?" "Can I use your computer?" It's non stop I can't even watch an episode of anything on the TV without being pestered
That does sound very frustrating! I would have suggested a lock on the inside of the door as well but I can understand if that causes anxiety for you. I was an only child so privacy was never an issue, I don't think I'd have coped well with people coming in all the time!
Could you pretend to take up meditation? That's a very valid reason for having alone time at strange times of day.
Yeah I'm claustrophobic and as I found out the hard way it's not just small spaces you can't cope with when you're claustrophobic you could be in a big empty room but once you know there's no escape that sets you off. (Unless it's just me?) I've done yoga and all sorts in my room didn't stop the sister coming in (one time very nearly caused an accident due to me being next to the door when she opened it haha)
even the rare times when i go undisturbed (like tonight) i can't properly let go just in case and i can't moan or anything as on the same level is my parents room and one of my brothers is also on my level too. if it's not them it's the freaking cats howling outside my door, clawing to get in or the brother wailing on his guitar (not a good cover for sound because he randomly stops without warning and it's off putting) then there's footsteps and chickens outside clucking away. it's a hard atmosphere to just have fun. Hoping the guy I'm seeing and i will move onto the next step at some point soon then we can go to his where it's much quieter lol
I imagine everyone with claustrophobia is different, but its how it effects you that matters. Does having a bolt on the inside and no other lock still set off your claustrophobia? You would be fully in control of access and if anyone needed to get in it doesn’t take a lot of force to break them off if small screws are used.
Its a hard situation with kids around, not easy to set fixed boundaries that you can trust.
I wish you the best of luck with your partner but just remember to not rush in to moving out with him because of privacy problems. its a big thing to consider very carefully. I really hope i don’t sound patronising as I certainly don’t mean to be that way, I just know how my anxiety riddled mind can make me do things that I otherwise wouldn’t.
How old are the siblings? Could you have a word with your mum and emphasise that you need a space thats just yours to chill out and relax without them bursting in? Maybe she could help by telling them they arent allowed to disturb you and will be told off if they do, rather than you getting in trouble for telling them to get out?
No you don't sound patronising and I won't be moving too fast it's ok 😊 I might have to try the bolt on the inside but I think I worry in case it sticks but I'm ok with toilet locks in public (but do panic when they stick) so can always try.
It's one of those things they don't bother me often but knowing what they're like and everything so I'm constantly on edge that someone will walk in or something.
And my parents do have a word the brothers don't bother me much but it's the sister she just walks in unannounced. It's not often and I've not been caught but it always makes you worry just in case
A bolt is very unlikely to stick and id say its nearly impossible for it to stick bad enough that you couldnt undo it, but you could also have a screwdriver in your room just in case. Absolutely no way you could ever get trapped then.
Yeah I could try. It's not so much as ten walking in its the fear of them walking in because I know what they're like. Might have to block the door with furniture lol
Kirsty92 have a look at a flip over door catch it might help with your fear of being locked in and will still give you a bit of much needed alone time and private space.