Never been able to have an orgasm....

I can never make myself with just my fingers unless I have been watching porn, in which case I watch various clips til I'm ready to burst, often an hour or so with no touching and then apply my lube and make myself cum.

Mostly I just use my toys though and even then it can take a while x

Hi I also have the same kind of problems as you. I've never experimented with my own body. I was with my ex for 15 years and he never ever tried to make me climax it was all about him. It's only the last year I've started to explore. My partner is amazing and really understanding and does everything he can to help. We have plenty of toys but the only thing I've found that works is watching porn. I don't seem to have a very good imagination, my mind wanders so the porn is a visual help. I've only ever done it when he hasn't been there so we are going to invest in some that we can watch together and hopefully it will do the trick. I'm putting it down to my body being neglected and not knowing how it should work.

The biggest sex organ is your brain so if that's not in tune it will never happen. Porn can definitely help you with that. So sorry you were neglected all of those years but you sound like you've got a good partner now.

Good luck x

Blondie98 wrote:

Hi I also have the same kind of problems as you. I've never experimented with my own body. I was with my ex for 15 years and he never ever tried to make me climax it was all about him. It's only the last year I've started to explore. My partner is amazing and really understanding and does everything he can to help. We have plenty of toys but the only thing I've found that works is watching porn. I don't seem to have a very good imagination, my mind wanders so the porn is a visual help. I've only ever done it when he hasn't been there so we are going to invest in some that we can watch together and hopefully it will do the trick. I'm putting it down to my body being neglected and not knowing how it should work.

Hi Blondi98, first of all I'm so sorry to hear that you were treated like that in your past relationship and I'm so glad you've found a guy who is treating you right !

It can be pretty scary starting off exploring your own body especially when you've been in a long term relationship and don't really know what you enjoy yourself.

Porn definitely has been a big help for me but honestly until the last month I used to avoid it like the plaugue as I found most of it a bit too vulgar for me to actually enjoy, until I found the xconfessions site by Erika Lust, her vidoes are more like mini movies and would probably be a good starting point for something to watch together? I know I struggle on mainstream porn sites to find stuff that I am comfortable watching.

I hope you manage to figure out what works for you and what you enjoy :)

Even a sexy film can help - 50 Shades of Grey, or anything with Michael Douglas 😂 Something with a sexy theme. Have you seen 9 1/2 weeks? It's an oldie but it's still good. If porn is a bit too much then sometimes a classic sexy film works just as well as full on porn xx