Hi Everyone
Was just wondering if I could have some views. Im thinking of buying a vibrating cock ring for my fella but we have never used anything like this before, If you are a bloke what would be your reaction to recieving one and if your a lady who bought your other half one what was there reaction?
I'm a very shy person so I don't want this gift for him backfiring on me.
Thanks.
Hi and welcome :)
First I know this is predictable, but each person would react differently. I know in my relationship most things go, we use toys quite openly and I'm sure it would go down well. This is also true of my major two exes.
How about browsing htis site together, maybe while having a drink or two and guage his reactions - then talk about it from there. You don't need to let on that you are planning on buying something.
Do you use toys by yourself? If so does he know, do you use them together? Could be a way of broaching the subject. I am sure it will go down well, honestly and even if he feels weird or shy, if you are close it shouldn't be too big a deal, just move onto the next thing.
I'm sure if/when you start using toys together you wont look back. The kind of thing you are looking at is a great starting point as it is non threatening, it's not as though you're suddenly gonna whip a 24 inch double dong out from under the pillow ;) hehe
If it were me I would go ahead, or at least bring the subject up, you really have nothing to lose and potentially lots to gain :)
Hello unsexy and welcome to the forums. :)
I think a first ever sex toy as a surprise gift is too risky if you haven't discussed this with him before. I think if you discuss it with him, then you have the added security of knowing if such a gift would be well received.
My personal view is to discuss this with your partner. I would start by telling him how attracted you are to him, how much he turns you on, and how much you enjoy your intimacies together. Then I would lead gently on to how you'd like to explore new things with him sexually, and how you found these vibrating cock rings online. Take him to the computer and show him the product pages of the ones you think would be good.
My experience is that all people are different. For example, I dislike surprise gifts for the most part because they're usually things I have no interest in and don't want, or want less than other things. My partner never brings me surprise gifts unless they are things we've seen together in a shop and I previously expressed interest in, or else it's a consumable which runs out and he knows I've used before. I don't think this is a characteristic of my gender, because I'm sure some women would disagree. I'm sure some men would too. So I think how your partner is likely to respond depends less on his gender and more on who he is as a unique human being.
In short, if you want to give your partner a gift and are worried that things might backfire, then communicate, communicate, communicate. :)
I wish you luck. :)
Heh, beaten to the punch by bbbje. :)
Hi there,
I bought my fella a vibrating cock ring once, even though it was a new concept to us, and he loved it! As has already been said however, each person is different and may react in a different way. Perhaps begin by pointing out the Durex Play versions in the supermarket. Gauge his reaction to that, and then make your decision.
Read the reviews on the rings to find the best one for you- you don't have to pay a lot, but some work, some don't, simple as that. Some ranges aren't very long and don't reach my clit for example, and some aren't very strong, do your homework and buy the one best for you.
Ultimately, you seem to be caring about both of your pleasures and are sensitive to his thoughts too, you seem like a caring partner. I don't think he would be miffed that its something he wouldnt choose himself, I think he'd see the thought behind it.
And can I ask why your name is 'unsexy'? Everyones sexy in their own way! You have a fella so you must be really sexy to him! xx
Hi there. To put my tuppenyworth in, I think having a good chat one evening with your partner when you are both relaxed about what you like and what you might like is a good opener. This happened with Mr. JayGee and I and it has been wonderful to look at new ideas.
Do you have a vibrator yourself honey? I am getting one for the first time (ordered it today - and yes, it was the DOTD!) and have chatted about it with my OH and how we can both use it. That might be a nice introduction, as opposed to springing a "surprise" on him. Best of luck
Here's the male perspective.
As all the ladies said before me, people view sex toys differently. That said, a cockring is very non-invasive so unless he's VERY conservative I don't think he'll put up much of a fuss. If I were him I'd be super stoked to have a girl who wanted to spice up our sex life. Nothing wrong with that.
Browsing the site with him is a good idea. You may want to be sure he's confident in knowing that he can pleasure you without the cockring. You say you're shy, if he's shy aswell you might give him the idea that he alone is not sufficient.
Hi Unsexy,
A different perspective here....If you've made your mind up that you want to get a naughty gift, I personally think a vibrating cock ring is quite a safe bet as far as sex toys go.
I'm not saying that he definately wont react badly, but from my point of view...there's nothing too intimidating about a cock ring. There's no penetration involved and its not anything too crazy or kinky.
Saying that however, you know him better than we do, so I think you should go with your instinct. This cock ring is only £2, so you could always buy it....then discuss it....and if he's up for it...hey presto...you've already got it! That way you wont lose the momentum you gain when you're talking about it!
Good Luck! x
He'd have to be extremely straight-laced to have objections to a vibrating cockring, I think. Now if you wanted to introduce a large dildo I can imagine needing some careful prep work *grin*
Maybe mention the Durex Play rings if you pass the isle when you shop together? Just go "I wonder if that really does as much as the adverts say?" and he might jump in with "Let's try" - even if not, his reaction will probably tell you a lot about his attitude towards toys.
I'm with Strapon - you won't go far wrong, and for a fiver the Durex one is pocket money. Does the trick for me!
Get it, slip it on mid-head and away you go...
Thanks for all the great advice - he deffinatley isn't shy like me - I think in some ways it would be easier if he was!
I think I will go with the buying - talking - hey presto I have one idea.
I just think this is something he would never think I would be in to - I know it's not much but I really am trying :)
Thanks again.
Well good luck and hope it goes down well! x