New rules.... (Overly graphic language)

Inside Lovehoney
23

Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

Ah wonderful - I'm glad that cleared things up. As always, if you're unsure about anything please ask :)

I'll go and update the rules now to say "Unnecessary Expletives" for clarity now.

As for the coffee stain, I'm awfully sorry about that :P

And Fluffbags - just please be careful, that stuff's bloomin' slippery on laminate! ;)

Jess ...Last night I bumped into an old female workmate with her family, she married at 16 and is now a grandmother of 8 and still married. Is the life starts at 18 rule due to other countries laws or to preserve the ambiance of the forum?

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Thanks for the heads up! :)

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gunther wrote:

Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

Ah wonderful - I'm glad that cleared things up. As always, if you're unsure about anything please ask :)

I'll go and update the rules now to say "Unnecessary Expletives" for clarity now.

As for the coffee stain, I'm awfully sorry about that :P

And Fluffbags - just please be careful, that stuff's bloomin' slippery on laminate! ;)

Jess ...Last night I bumped into an old female workmate with her family, she married at 16 and is now a grandmother of 8 and still married. Is the life starts at 18 rule due to other countries laws or to preserve the ambiance of the forum?

Isn't it a legality to sell sex toys ect only to those 18 or over? So I just assumed it was because they have the rules of selling the items ect, which then if we're posting about sexual experiances under the age of 18 could be a little confusing for some people, and then is also in a grey area for their licence? If you even need a licence? lol

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gunther wrote:

Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

Ah wonderful - I'm glad that cleared things up. As always, if you're unsure about anything please ask :)

I'll go and update the rules now to say "Unnecessary Expletives" for clarity now.

As for the coffee stain, I'm awfully sorry about that :P

And Fluffbags - just please be careful, that stuff's bloomin' slippery on laminate! ;)

Jess ...Last night I bumped into an old female workmate with her family, she married at 16 and is now a grandmother of 8 and still married. Is the life starts at 18 rule due to other countries laws or to preserve the ambiance of the forum?

Hey Gunther

Definitely. Having 'life start at 18' keeps things simple for all users of the forum. The age of consent for intercourse and marriage is 16 in the UK also, but we still prefer to keep the guidelines clear for everyone by maintaining '18' as the key age.

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Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

Hey Gunther

Definitely. Having 'life start at 18' keeps things simple for all users of the forum. The age of consent for intercourse and marriage is 16 in the UK also, but we still prefer to keep the guidelines clear for everyone by maintaining '18' as the key age.

LOL Jess

Don't be fooled by a name, I am British and presently enjoying the sunny breezy weather in the north of England, the job in Germany just finished Gott sei Dank

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I totally understand the new rules but can someone explain why my recent post in the thread entitled 'Sex on the Brain' was pulled and in fact why the thread in its entirety appears to have been pulled?

As I recall there was nothing in my post that could (I think!) have been construed as offensive and was simply a response to the original poster.

Thread was at:

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/700765-sex-on-the-brain/

LV

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gunther wrote:

Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

Hey Gunther

Definitely. Having 'life start at 18' keeps things simple for all users of the forum. The age of consent for intercourse and marriage is 16 in the UK also, but we still prefer to keep the guidelines clear for everyone by maintaining '18' as the key age.

LOL Jess

Don't be fooled by a name, I am British and presently enjoying the sunny breezy weather in the north of England, the job in Germany just finished Gott sei Dank

Ah I thought you were still in Germany! Welcome back to soggy-central! :P

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Lord_Vetinari wrote:

I totally understand the new rules but can someone explain why my recent post in the thread entitled 'Sex on the Brain' was pulled and in fact why the thread in its entirety appears to have been pulled?

As I recall there was nothing in my post that could (I think!) have been construed as offensive and was simply a response to the original poster.

Thread was at:

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/700765-sex-on-the-brain/

LV

Hey LV

That thread was pulled due to the original post, not your reply.

The original post was discussing sexual acts before the age of 12 so I pulled the entire thread down.

I had only noticed it after you replied so that's probably why it seemed it had been taken down in response to your post, but it wasn't, honest! :)

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I love the way lovehoney never tell us off or banned us if we brake the rules.
They just ask us so nicely not to do it please.
What lovely people you are! =)

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Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

Hey LV

That thread was pulled due to the original post, not your reply.

The original post was discussing sexual acts before the age of 12 so I pulled the entire thread down.

I had only noticed it after you replied so that's probably why it seemed it had been taken down in response to your post, but it wasn't, honest! :)

Hells Bells - I hadn't spotted that!

Totally see why the thread was pulled and relieved to find it wasn't something I'd said.

Thanks for clearing that up.

LV

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Lollipop ;) wrote:

I love the way lovehoney never tell us off or banned us if we brake the rules.
They just ask us so nicely not to do it please.
What lovely people you are! =)

Hehe - Thanks Lollipop!

It really makes things a lot easier when I have such a lovely group of community members to work with! smiley

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Lord_Vetinari wrote:

Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

Hey LV

That thread was pulled due to the original post, not your reply.

The original post was discussing sexual acts before the age of 12 so I pulled the entire thread down.

I had only noticed it after you replied so that's probably why it seemed it had been taken down in response to your post, but it wasn't, honest! :)

Hells Bells - I hadn't spotted that!

Totally see why the thread was pulled and relieved to find it wasn't something I'd said.

Thanks for clearing that up.

LV

No worries! You definitely have nothing to worry about LV :)

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Jess quick question about profiles and contact details,

Many of us do have contact details on our profiles, for the adopt a toy thread and as a support network for members who are going through tough times but might not be comfortable putting all the details on the forums.

Is this still within the rules? Once in a blue moon I get an 'interesting' email which get read but never responded to. I get more junk/spam/phishing/viagra ads on my business email so having difficulty seeing why it would be an issue.

xGGx

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Slightly off topic but rule related... Is this a correct?

You need to be aged 16 or over to create an account.

found here :)

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/help/accounts/

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ghostgirl wrote:

Jess quick question about profiles and contact details,

Many of us do have contact details on our profiles, for the adopt a toy thread and as a support network for members who are going through tough times but might not be comfortable putting all the details on the forums.

Is this still within the rules? Once in a blue moon I get an 'interesting' email which get read but never responded to. I get more junk/spam/phishing/viagra ads on my business email so having difficulty seeing why it would be an issue.

xGGx

Hey GG

We never encourage sharing of any personal information on our site for a couple of main reasons:

a) Once you post online your information is completely public, meaning anyone can access your details and bombard you with junk, hack your account, share your details without your knowledge or anything else they wish to do with it. It's just not safe so we ask that you don't do it.

b) Lovehoney isn't a hook up / chat site. As soon as personal information is shared it's impossible for us to moderate and protect our forum members from potential abuse. To keep everything running like a well oiled vehicle, we prefer to keep everything out in the open. This also means other members can learn from your dicussions.

Having said all of this, it is up to you where you share your own information. If you feel comfortable putting contact details on your profile (not on the forum) then that's absolutely fine, just remember that this information is totally public, to members and non-members alike :)

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MissChar wrote:

Slightly off topic but rule related... Is this a correct?

You need to be aged 16 or over to create an account.

found here :)

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/help/accounts/

Hey MissChar

It is indeed correct :)

Although 'life starts at 18' at Lovehoney, we're not daft and understand (and expect) that the odd community member is probably younger (or older!) than they say they are. Sadly, through a computer screen, there's nothing we can do to confirm or deny someone's age. We just have to trust you! Technically speaking, as soon as someone is old enough to work a PC and own a debit card, there's nothing we can do to stop them joining the community and shopping with us.

Our job is to protect those people when they do stumble on our forums. As long as all of the other rules are being adhered to, there should be no opportunity for a youngster to be 'damaged' by any extreme images / stories / references.

Obviously the national age of consent in the UK is 16, and from that age you can have as much sex as you like! Having said this we do ask that all community members refrain from discussing sexual acts before the age of 18. We don't want anyone discussing anything which could be potentially pornographic / skimming the lines of underage sex / unclear for a youngster who may be visiting our site.

In addition, the national age of consent around the world varies from country to country. We have community members from all over the world, and by keeping discussions 18 and above, everyone has the opportunity to join in and feel fully comfortable with all of the discussions on the forums.

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Lets be honest this is a site about sex toys and our experiences and just to have friendly conversation , not to go into graphic detail like dirty talk. It makes people feel uncomfortable.

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Ork wrote:

I feel like you've added a rule that already existed XD Surely its a common sense rule every forum has? I assume this is in response to potentially inflamatory behaviour, but thats covered in the rules already XD

totally agree i am new to this and also noticed alot of over expressed language :)

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Hello all at lovehoney,, my partner and i are at a stage in our relasionship that we talk openly about each others needs and not's, i am a cancer suvivor and most of my close family estranged me, but as i prooved them all wrong and that i could beat the monster ,anyway, Pauline is a qualified nurse in her mid 50's, she almost took me on from day 1,

Mykidney cancer was well formed when we firstfound it, the operation was radical and very severe, i was almost cut in half, in the prosses the scalple cut unintentionaly through some of the nerves to my penis and testicles, they would eventualy reconect themselves, but as i was saying about Pauline, she helped me through the worst, and it was inevitable we fell in love, my sex life was zero for almost 6 yeas, but with the help of the organisations like Lovehoney we got equipment to aid to penitrave sex, and every time we order more experimental toys and aids, the feelings to my privates got better and better, so it's up and on and push forward, people with sex problems must talk into these forums and find the solutin for there perticular handycap,. Matt and Pauline.

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and questions, and for being so patient over the weekend waiting for a reply :)

Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

Hey everyone,

Thanks for your comments

I understand that a rule like this does come with 'grey areas' and of course conversation detail is contextual. As I said in my previous post, I will bare in mind subject content and whether or not the amount of detail is necessary and adding to the conversation at hand.

I think we can all appreciate times when detail is required in order to fully advise / ask a question and get the information you need, in comparison to times when adding extra detail is unnecessary and doesn't help in passing on any information or make the conversation any clearer, more informative or helpful. It's a really tough rule to enforce as I'm effectively asking everyone to use their common sense, and that in itself is subjective!

Perhaps I should change the wording to "Unnecessary expletives"? What does everyone think?

To confirm, by expletive I'm referring to the following definition:

- "A word or phrase that does not contribute any meaning but is added only to fill out a sentence or a metrical line."

It's not so much a case of 'too much detail' if the detail is required, I'm referring more to when the person posting chooses to use harsh / expletive language to describe something when it really wasn't required and the information passed on would have been equally as useful without it. For the sake of offering an example, I will break my own rule!

NO- "I rammed my asshole with my new anal dong last night - I can still feel myself throbbing and gaping as I write this. I smothered myself, the toy and my whole house in lube and squeezed it in, feeling my a-hole stretch over the tip. I can't wait to use it again and watch myself cum over and over again. Next time I'm going to frantically frig myself off at the same time to see how much I can cum...."

YES- "I tried out my new anal dildo last night - it was amazing!! I made sure I used plenty of water-based lube and was impressed by how stretched it made me feel. Certain positions were better than others and I personally found inserting in a squatted position easiest. The orgasms were fantastic and I think it could be my new favourite toy! When I come to use it next time I think I'll try using it alongside my bullet for clit stim as well."

These two paragraphs basically say the same thing, but the choice of language is completely different - going back to the age old saying "It's not what you say, but the way you say it".

As for the Erotic Fiction section of the forum does hold some of the biggest 'grey areas' of the site, as there is always room for artistic expression in this area. This, in my opinion, is where descriptive language is necessary and does add to the story / atmosphere / fantasy. In this section I'm only really interested in making sure the stories are 'Lovehoney friendly' eg: discussing sex acts after the age of 18, nothing involving animals, kids, etc.

This has always been the 'unwritten rule' of the forums so those of you who are already well established forum users have nothing to worry about, and to be honest you shouldn't feel any change. The reason I've been forced to put this rule into writing now is due to the number of new members who think this is a hook up / dirty talk site (and I suspect many are getting off on their own posts) and I need to put a stop to it to protect the happy, helpful and open atmosphere we have here. This rule is definitely not in place to impinge on any of the wonderful community members and information we currently offer and I really don't want anyone feeling they can't speak freely on the forums.

On a side note, I can honestly say that all of you who have commented on this thread have never said or done anything which I feel breaks this rule (or any of the others for that matter) so for you guys, just carry on doing what you're doing!

Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

Hey everyone,

Thanks for your comments and questions, and for being so patient over the weekend waiting for a reply :)

I understand that a rule like this does come with 'grey areas' and of course conversation detail is contextual. As I said in my previous post, I will bare in mind subject content and whether or not the amount of detail is necessary and adding to the conversation at hand.

I think we can all appreciate times when detail is required in order to fully advise / ask a question and get the information you need, in comparison to times when adding extra detail is unnecessary and doesn't help in passing on any information or make the conversation any clearer, more informative or helpful. It's a really tough rule to enforce as I'm effectively asking everyone to use their common sense, and that in itself is subjective!

Perhaps I should change the wording to "Unnecessary expletives"? What does everyone think?

To confirm, by expletive I'm referring to the following definition:

- "A word or phrase that does not contribute any meaning but is added only to fill out a sentence or a metrical line."

It's not so much a case of 'too much detail' if the detail is required, I'm referring more to when the person posting chooses to use harsh / expletive language to describe something when it really wasn't required and the information passed on would have been equally as useful without it. For the sake of offering an example, I will break my own rule!

NO- "I rammed my asshole with my new anal dong last night - I can still feel myself throbbing and gaping as I write this. I smothered myself, the toy and my whole house in lube and squeezed it in, feeling my a-hole stretch over the tip. I can't wait to use it again and watch myself cum over and over again. Next time I'm going to frantically frig myself off at the same time to see how much I can cum...."

YES- "I tried out my new anal dildo last night - it was amazing!! I made sure I used plenty of water-based lube and was impressed by how stretched it made me feel. Certain positions were better than others and I personally found inserting in a squatted position easiest. The orgasms were fantastic and I think it could be my new favourite toy! When I come to use it next time I think I'll try using it alongside my bullet for clit stim as well."

These two paragraphs basically say the same thing, but the choice of language is completely different - going back to the age old saying "It's not what you say, but the way you say it".

As for the Erotic Fiction section of the forum does hold some of the biggest 'grey areas' of the site, as there is always room for artistic expression in this area. This, in my opinion, is where descriptive language is necessary and does add to the story / atmosphere / fantasy. In this section I'm only really interested in making sure the stories are 'Lovehoney friendly' eg: discussing sex acts after the age of 18, nothing involving animals, kids, etc.

This has always been the 'unwritten rule' of the forums so those of you who are already well established forum users have nothing to worry about, and to be honest you shouldn't feel any change. The reason I've been forced to put this rule into writing now is due to the number of new members who think this is a hook up / dirty talk site (and I suspect many are getting off on their own posts) and I need to put a stop to it to protect the happy, helpful and open atmosphere we have here. This rule is definitely not in place to impinge on any of the wonderful community members and information we currently offer and I really don't want anyone feeling they can't speak freely on the forums.

On a side note, I can honestly say that all of you who have commented on this thread have never said or done anything which I feel breaks this rule (or any of the others for that matter) so for you guys, just carry on doing what you're doing!

So Ladies & Gents you must post and talk as if you reside at Downton Abbey LOL