One on one conversation

[SteelA1]

Hey everyone! Not saying I disagree with the rules by any means but I was just wondering the reasoning behind not behind not being allowed to directly have one on one conversations on threads? Obviously chatting on here people will become friends and via chatting we get to learn quite a bit about each other
Just curious is all

[MsSubExperimenter]

From my insomniac headachey perspective, I think it’s possibly to do with:

• giving the wrong impression of the forum
• protecting members’ anonymity - imagine letting something slip that made you recognisable to another local member? More likely to do this in loose conversation than a considered post in a group setting
• making other members feel excluded or uncomfortable joining in conversations
• building online relationships and running the risk of “cheating”.

Could be totally wrong, just my view

(Morning by the way!)

[SteelA1]

@MsSubExperimenter good morning/night! I’m not sure there is any difference anymore all very valid points by the way! Thanks for replying!
I know it’s not the same but I’ve spoken to loads of people on social media platforms snd then become friends on real life! I know there are different things to think about here though
@MsSubExperimenter another reason I asked was that was looking at the love honey Instagram page snd and noticed a few familiar names on there, it wouldn’t be hard to put 2and 2 together across the 2 platforms and if people wanted to really chat then they could I suppose

[MsSubExperimenter]

Fair point, I don’t tend to use Instagram so that’s not something I’d know about

[SteelA1]

I only nosey at none work related stuff on Instagram as I only have my business account on there now, deleted my private one for a while

[Peitho]

I think the main reasons are, as @MsSubExperimenter says, it excludes other people from the conversation and others quite often then feel they can’t post because they don’t want to interupt a conversation that is going on. Also though, because in a number of cases, not always but quite often, chat tends to get flirty between two members which is obviously not what this forum is about.

I’m afraid I don’t have Instagram so no idea on that one.

[Bigiain]

My view on it is;
Not everyone wants to scroll past loads of chats on here of maybe two or three people having a “private conversation” they can’t or don’t have a say in.

However Instagram, again my view is, if you were to message me on Instagram “hi it’s such and such off a forum insert conversation here p.s if you aren’t comfortable woth this inappolgise and feel free to ignore” etc Then that is up to said me to reply or not.
We are adult enough to Know if we’d be ok with it or not and as long as it’s not advertised on here how can anyone say it’s wrong or not?

But again that’s me view and might not be correct to all

[Ian_Chimp]

I’d say that’s about right.

[AJSTAR]

Yeah I totally agree with @MsSubExperimenter
Think idea of a forum is that is a group building thing rather than a social media platform.

[Queerantine]

Going to be the cynic here and say, while all of those reasons may factor in to some extent, most likely it’s for PR and legal reasons. Lovehoney are a private corporation and in the same way they won’t allow us to openly discuss the competition, they will have chosen their rules based on how they want the company to be seen. They probably had lawyers, marketing and PR come up with and okay the rules to limit liability when they forum was first set up.

[Ian_Chimp]

Actually, I think a lot of the rules have evolved over time, and generally in response to a moderation issue that needed clarifying. A lot of the old posts/threads still exist, so you can kind of see how it all cobbled together along the way.

Back when it originally started it was called The Orgasm Army, and it seemed quite a jolly affair. At certain points they had private messaging, but that was too difficult to moderate. And you could once share your twitter details (etc), until everyone fell out on twitter and expected the mods on here to deal with it. There’s lots more in there too, though I think it’s fair to say the ‘no competitor’ one was a business decision.

[WillC]

I wasn’t member when private messaging was a thing, but i dread to think of what some people may have received.

[DanceswithPenguins]

Quite a few year’s ago on this forum I looked at a heading and thought maybe I could add something. Having read quite a few comments I realised that 2 or more of the posters were engaging with each other on a level not constructive to the progress of the actual original poster’s intention. I did feel like a party pooper and left.

I like the idea now that anyone and everyone who joins these forums, should feel happy and comfortable in being able to participate in an ongoing conversation without a single doubt of emotion that they feel left out.

[FortySomethingWife]

I often fall into the trap of having a one to one convo in a topic and try my hardest not to now. It’s hard not to sometimes!

[Gazza_64]

@WillC I am with you on that mate

[Joe_90]

All of the above!
This is a forum not a chat room nor a means of ‘meeting’ up privately. The rules are clear and there for good reason.
There are plenty of places that provide that facility and most of them are either, or have, been dragged through the courts for one reason of privacy, data protection/breach or other so let’s just enjoy the freedom and open discussion that this forum provides without the back biting, bitching and bad blood that those others seem to either generate or attract.
I’d suggest that’s the reason a lot of us use Lovehoney and steer clear of the others.
I know that wasn’t actually the point or conversation you were trying to generate @SteelA1 so apologies if you feel this is directed squarely at yourself. It’s just my feelings and experience of both.
Rant over!

[Silkyhat]

Some great observations in this thread.
I agree that the ‘no one-on-one chat’ rule is something that doesn’t necessarily make sense when you first come across it but in practice it does help to keep discussions open. And I think this rule is usually interpreted quite sensitively? That is, a little back and forth between 2 people on a thread wouldn’t usually trigger a reprimand, as long as other people were still jumping in and out, contributing to the discussion, and the conversation itself was forum-appropriate.

[SteelA1]

All great points and reading everything it makes more sense this way than I initially thought! I wasn’t being funny or moaning at all in anyway by the post, was wondering the reasoning behind it

[WillC]

Sometimes it’s very easy to fall into a one to one conversation, especially at quiet times ( I’m often on here in the early hours when i get up for work) or if a person has a problem or a shared interest. I guess as long as it doesn’t get too personal or flirty, the mods will be lenient, but it’s best to keep in mind to include others if possible.

[Floating_Fun_Guy]

Yes, often it seems like there’s only me and @WillC around at silly o’clock when we are both up for work.