Sadly I haven't been able to orgasm in 2-3months...I find myself unable to relax into it whether with a partner or solo. Occasionally I get close but the climax never tips over the edge or the sensation of pleasure disappears completely. Has any one else had experience with this or has any advise?
(f19)
I guess your a 19 year old female? if so I am not equipped to help Sorry?
I only respinded to have you clarify your gender. If your a Male I may have some suggestions.
I can only speak from a male perspective - but one thing age has taught me is this - The more you think about this, the more you worry and the worse it will get.
Hope this doesn't sound trite - it is not meant to - but the head certainly has an impact on the body.
I wish you all the best.
Be in the moment, if your mind is elsewhere your body will react accordingly. Try some meditation and visualisation before starting.
kink98 wrote:
Sadly I haven't been able to orgasm in 2-3months...I find myself unable to relax into it whether with a partner or solo. Occasionally I get close but the climax never tips over the edge or the sensation of pleasure disappears completely. Has any one else had experience with this or has any advise?
(f19)
Lots of answers needed here really, are you in a relationship? how long for? has anything significant happened to you recently or are you under a lot of stress/depressed? Taking any medications? Theres more but these are probably the big ones.
While it could be related to any of the above and probably other things as well, it sounds like it could be performance pressure, basically it might happen a couple of times naturally and for no reason or even some temporary reason, but then it becomes a memory and when you next become aroused this memory is recalled involuntarily because it is now associated with arousal and you start to get anxious that your not going to be able to orgasm again and in a very self reinforcing way that is what happens. This is the same story as many men have for ED. If this is you, how you feel, then sensate focus works for overcoming performance pressure, but it isnt a quick fix, it takes several weeks, and needs involvement of a partner. If you are in a relationship, the great thing about it is the excercises can strengthen your bond and improve your overall relationship as well as helping you overcome the issue. Ive done it in the past and it was amazingly effective, and even fun.
To clarify I am actually female so I doubt it could be erectile dysfunction...
kink98 wrote:
To clarify I am actually female so I doubt it could be erectile dysfunction...
Reread what I said, I didn’t say you have ED, performance anxiety is a cause of ED just like it sounds like a cause of your problem. Sensate focus treats performance anxiety not just ED.
Hey kink98
Try putting an end to all the nasty outside stimulous by wearing a blindfold and headphones, blasting some sexy tunes (I find Morcheeba do it for me) .- that's always worked for me whether solo or with my OH. I also find that if I get almost there...just to that stage where I'm a second or two away, then my OH stops, thinking to tease, then I'll never get there again! He can keep stopping and teasing at other times making the pleasure last long (or the same solo) but if I'm stopped just as I'm tipping over the edge - thats when it becomes a problem.
Hope that helps a little, my lovely, but please try not to worry.... worrying about it will make matters worse. It may just be a temporary thing. Could be your time of month too? When I was much much younger I found coming much harder than I do nowadays! xx
It's worth checking if you're getting enough food and sleep. So many sexual issues an be solved by the correct amount.
Also have you started to take any new medication, as some can affect the ability to climax and not just anti depressant but even some birth controls.
Also how do you feel with the rest of your body? Some people find they may have something else going on from getting colds, to back pain which can all get in the way of orgasming.
Also if you've upped how much you drink alcohol wise and caffeine it can affect it. Or not drinking enough of the right fluids.Hey kink98, there was a thread on a similar topic the other day which you may find helpful, some good advice over there :)
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/1648845-tips-on-how-to-cum-women/
Lady Ness wrote:
It's worth checking if you're getting enough food and sleep. So many sexual issues an be solved by the correct amount.
Also have you started to take any new medication, as some can affect the ability to climax and not just anti depressant but even some birth controls.
Also how do you feel with the rest of your body? Some people find they may have something else going on from getting colds, to back pain which can all get in the way of orgasming.
Also if you've upped how much you drink alcohol wise and caffeine it can affect it. Or not drinking enough of the right fluids.
Also stress can be a good killer - if I am stressed and worried at times, I could just no longer be able to relax enough to orgasm. And my interest in sex in general just went really down. I actually had this for like 2 months before changing my job two years ago. I was in the end in the leavers notice, which my boss used to make my life hell, killed my sex drive.
Or before that, the stress created by my university teacher actually killed my drive, plus actually messed my menstruation.