The forum is for practical advice on how to get the best out of your sex life/toys. You then take that information and put it into practice away from the site.
Feel free to tell us how you got on, but we don’t want all the narrative details - just stick to the most useful ones. (especially anything insightful that you think can help others)
Obviously some people like the idea of little erotic vignettes, and this isn’t a moral judgement against them, its just that this isn’t the appropriate forum for them. You’ll have to have a google and see if you can find somewhere that does welcome that kind of content.
I am happy with the forum the way it is, there are plenty of other places that are more explicit if that’s your thing. I understand it’s a fine balance that the forum aims for, and that Brenna does a fabulous job of keeping things on the right side of things. It’s a helpful, informative, friendly and caring place.
I don’t want to get into argument about this but here is how I see it…
The forum is here to give advice and ideas to people about how to improve their sex lives and relationships. As well as to give people ideas about what toys and lingerie might be suitable for them, especially if that person has questions about a product that isn’t addressed on the product page and can only be answered by someone who has tried out that item. It’s not to arouse people or turn people on. If discussing sex gets someone excited then that’s fine but that’s not the point of the forum.
The rules are there to keep us safe and to make the forum friendly and accessible for everyone (over 18 obviously) regardless of their experience of sex and toys etc. Some people may have very limited experience and be looking for the first step into improving their relationship or their first toy because they haven’t had sex or masturbated before. They might not be comfortable reading erotica. There are lots of places where erotica can be shared and enjoyed but very few places like this that offer honest advice in a safe environment. I’d hope that people could come here because we are safe, friendly, helpful and not intimidating. There are also people wanting to add new elements to their relationships, explore kinks and fantasies in an accepting and welcoming environment and I think this forum is a great place for sharing experiences and getting advice on what to try out next. There are very few places where we can ask these questions and this forum is thankfully one of them.
I’m not a prude by any means but I feel safer and more confident using this forum because of the rules and the excellent job that @Lovehoney_Brenna does for us all.
If you had to describe in one word what LH is about, let’s be honest….sex. Presumably all people buying products and using the forum are 18+ In other words adults.
It seems very contradictory to run an adult business where the entire basis is centered around sex to then try and say “oh but don’t write anything too dirty on a forum” I totally agree it shouldn’t be used for anything inappropriate and certainly not as a hook up facility or whatever. But I also think it shows a real lack of understanding on LH’s part of who their customers actually are. Reading some of the comments above I don’t think I’m alone in this.
If a forum is supposed to be a very vanilla space where everything should be described in matter of fact clinical terms…then a sex toy/lingerie site seems a very unlikely candidate for such a thing!
Everyone on here seems very nice but I do feel like the premise of this forum is somewhat confusing and full of contradiction.
It’s really not that complicated. It’s called boundaries. You’re being facetious with regards to commenting that we all must be adults; of course but that doesn’t mean we want to use this forum as a source of soft porn or titillation.
Yup, there’s plenty of people here who don’t have any trouble writing about how a toy/clothing/accessory is used and enjoyed (or not enjoyed), even with pretty specific detail, without being pornographic. And even expressing fantasies, scenarios, bucket list items, and “when did you last have sex” posts. Of course by nature of the content it isn’t going to be Rated G or safe for work, but if we can’t operate in that gray-ish space between, then we won’t be able to have nice things.
I disagree with this. Maybe it shows a lack of understanding for who you are but please don’t paint us all with the same brush. I have no problem with pornography, I use PornHub and Literotica but for a very different purpose. I come to the LH forum to learn about parts of sex I’m not familar with and other’s experiences with certain aspects, what toys people have found particularly good and how they’ve used them. Why they maybe haven’t liked something I’m interested in. I do not come here to get turned on.
I think, and this may not be correct, so please someone correct me if I’m wrong but it is also down to search engine rules. LH is a commercial business that needs to appear high on Search engines. Pornagraphic content immediately changes the rules on how it appears in searches. Again I think!
Sex is a short word and covers/means a LOT, and everyones morals and values around this, along with tastes and desires are very different. In the same way there are many ways to approach and discuss these multiple aspects, some can be very lewd and self focused getting their rocks off, others can be very informative and helpful. Just because everyone is 18+ doesn’t make it right to allow a ‘free for all’ in terms of content (In my opinion, of course).
Personally, feel quite the opposite. LH Forums are trying to be as all inclusive and inoffensive as possible to ensure that all feel safe and welcome! I have seen plenty of replies on here where I avoid commenting on as they come across as far too graphic. I have no probs with specifics where relevant to the topic (for example people discussing certain techniques to achieve something like squirting).
My OH knows I use forums for information and advice, both giving and receiving. She has spent time here herself, and from reading content knows it is safe, that there is no direct contact or cyber related activities.
I think the thing is in the detail, and where it is relevant - and that can come from the purpose of the post. If the purpose is informational, advisory, helpful then generally it should be OK? If the purpose is to shock, tease, arouse either the audience or poster, then likely to be wrong. So for me, its the context.
I remember one thread where OP asked about a situation around a friend coming to stay with himself and wife, and was all fine. But days later, after the event, posted in graphic details around a specific session. The details were entirely unnecessary, and a simpler post of ‘all ended fine, and we had an incredible time together after’ would have been far more sufficient.
One of the initial purposes of my coming to the forum is because I have a progressive neurological condition. This gives me challenges around sexual aspects, and I came to share what I find helps me, and of course to hear new ideas that work for others that are in similar situations.
For me there is nothing confusing or contradictory around the rules, but of course we are all humans - there will always be a lot of grey area around it and personally I think the members as a whole, and especially @Lovehoney_Brenna do a fantastic job keeping everything in line for a topic that is so vast and different for everyone.
Yes LH sell toys / products to enhance peoples sex life.
This is a forum to discuss peoples experiences/recommendations/concerns/general discussions to help others / support in finding new products / toys / underwear and give opportunity in a safe environment for all.
To ensure that happens and reaches out to all and meets LH brand / market place then it needs to be consistent across all its platforms and seen as the classy / respected brand for people to engage with and find new additions to their bedroom.
Not everyone wants every little descriptive detail of how happy endings have been achieved.
Equally there are plenty of places to find this and share those types of experiences which are marketed for that level of engagement.
We are very open and don’t get offended, but we do understand the purpose of this forum and the LH brand and thank also @Lovehoney_Brenna and team of moderators that manage.
Of course the website is marketed to sell pleasurable products! They are here to make money as a business, It’s not an NHS health website is it? Even so, the text on the website is not erotic or titillating, it is the same as any website trying to promote their products. Do you feel that the lingerie section on the M&S website is overly graphic? No, it’s exactly the same format for their products. Go somewhere else if you want to have sexy chats.
The forum is an add on, we’re lucky to have it. Read the rules, follow them or they will get rid of it.
The photo thread is great for seeing the products on other bodies, but it does sometimes get silly or alot of the time there are no LH products in the photos. I don’t look at it to perv over people, and I don’t get a kick from random people describing their sex lives.
I don’t know why some people are having a strop about this, they can’t understand
or just want to push the rules???
Brenna is trying to explain but it’s like arguing with toddlers.
Only other thing I would say around the Lingerie Photo thread is that it is a safe way for some to express themselves in ways they feel they cannot safely do normally (for example cross dressing), and also as mentioned by others, for body confidence.
My OH wanted me to post some pics of her, and this was for two reasons.
1, it was not something she would normally do, so it had that ‘risk’ feel to it.
2, and this was more a reason for me, I wanted her to see the positive feedback she got, the amount of likes and the positive comments in the comments related field.
It helped her feel a little more confident in herself, reading complete strangers saying positive things meant a lot, as of course she knows I will always tell her my truth of how sexy I find her, it doesn’t have quite the same power when she hears it from me all the time.
And yes, agree entirely, Brenna and Co are doing a great job in terms of moderating.
I know some people have fallen foul with absolutely no intent at all, on certain topics it is difficult knowing where that line is, I guess the context matters and is taken into account where possible.
Unfortunately there will always be a grey area where some will not see an issue and others would - I expect mods will take the safety first approach if something has been flagged, and in itself cannot be an easy job on these forums as the nature of the topic means people can get excited in the heat of posts. Hopefully nobody takes it personal and just accepts people are doing their jobs as best they can.
Joined Flicklit.co.uk and pleased that I did . It has the potential to develop in to popular platform to share and create erotic literature, or relate fantasies/ real life experiences in a fun respectful forum.
@Home11 i don’t think many people understood the point I was making. I have no problem with this forum, it’s members or the rules.
In my personal opinion being able to talk about sex in a more adult, matter of fact way, wouldn’t detract from the forum and if anything would make it more interesting. Everyone has their own opinion and I accept not everyone might share that view, although from some of the comments I don’t feel like it’s only me either.
I think given the subject matter and sector LH operates in, there wouldn’t be anything inappropriate about that. The point I was making about it being “contradictory” is because LHs entire business largely works on the premise of eroticism and arousal so to tell people (especially a lot of which are their customers) not to talk about that is a bit odd, again in my opinion.
That said, I totally agree it should always be used in a positive and safe-space type of way and am happy to stick to the rules.
Which I think is the case throughout the forum? The emphasis is it being adult matter of fact, and ultimately holding back on making comments graphic when unnecessary.
Pretty sure this is going on throughout the forum, in terms of talking around the products, peoples likes and dislikes, advice and knowledge sharing - again though it comes down to context and how things are being written. No one is not being asked to not talk about anything at all, people are simply being asked to do it in the manner according to the rules
I really dont understand why this is so hard to understand? Yes LH sells items to be used in an erotic and intimate way. And yes their items are intended to turn people on but that doesn’t mean you share the gory details with the forum. Things I say to my partner about sex should not be the same things I say to friends/forum.
I’m wondering whether you are being inflammatory for entertainment value
“X toy was amazing for my partner and I, it gave me an orgasm that was super intense.”
Is different from:
X toy was amazing for my partner and I. I slid it in and came all over his bed, while he stroked his dick until it was big enough to explode.
@Cali_Nyx right, so in the second statement where’s the problem exactly? As I said it is my personal opinion but I really don’t see what the issue is with writing like that on a forum….for a website that sells sex toys?! The people on here are adults, with a vested interest in sex. It’s unlikely anyone buying a dildo would be prudish about use of language - certainly not at that level.
As I also said, perfectly happy to stick to the rules, but in my mind it really shouldn’t be an issue in the first place. Personal opinion, I accept it might not align with yours.
I think you probably want to log onto a porn site if that’s what youre into. You’re literally making multiple people explain the same thing 100s of times edited
(especially anything insightful that you think can help others)
I totally agree it shouldn’t be used for anything inappropriate and certainly not as a hook up facility or whatever. But I also think it shows a real lack of understanding on LH’s part of who their customers actually are. Reading some of the comments above I don’t think I’m alone in this.
Even so, the text on the website is not erotic or titillating, it is the same as any website trying to promote their products. Do you feel that the lingerie section on the M&S website is overly graphic? No, it’s exactly the same format for their products. Go somewhere else if you want to have sexy chats.
