Ok. This is stuff I would never discuss with friends over coffee
So hubby and I have been married 17 years. I was brought up in a Christian home and sex was always I thing that was to create children and porn was never mentioned. At the start of our marriage we were very vanilla and when I found out my husband watched porn I was devastated, he promised he would stop and then life happened, miscarriages happened and sex was hard work.
We had children and Then porn popped up again, then we discovered love honey and started buying toys, our sex life changed a lot and became much kinker, something I never realised I liked. Remember I’m a good Christian girl. I then started to look at porn a little bit, then covid happened and our sex life went back to vanilla.
As some of your know we went to amsterdam recently and end up watching a sex show, which I actually really enjoyed and found it turned me on. Our sex life has only benefited from this and we are kinker than ever again. I also admitted to my husband that I like watching women. I would never become involved with another man or woman. We are married and is sacred. He did however raise the idea of going to a pole dancing club and if I would be happy for him to get a lap dance and this would turn him on if I got one too. We won’t however do any of that until I’m ready and anything like a threesome sticks safely in the realms of fantasy, I don’t think I could cope with this.
But I have found myself being heartbroken from idea of porn early in our marriage to watching it together and on my own and actually using it as a bit of sex education, I hope to learn how to “joi” him and really discover the sexy side of me, which being a larger woman I have neglected to allow to come to the fore front of me.
Thanks for listening to my rambling. I think I have come a long way over the years and now know that sex is a pleasure able thing that I very much enjoy with my husband. I will try and stop worrying about if other Christian people enjoy the kinks that I do.
It seems that you have come a long way together. I think that the watching of porn early in the relationship should not cloud what you have discovered together since, enjoy the here and now.
@BL1405055, after reading your post, I’m reminded of a Cherokee Indian Proverb:
Don’t let yesterday…use up too much of today!
It sounds like your jorney from the start of your marriage up until today has been a long one. However you have certainly come a long way and I love your open mind towards everything. Well done you and all the best gong forward.
@BL140505 . Just adopt the attitude that sex in a relationship is tgere to be enjoyed as one of lifes pleasures. Get in tune with each others desires and explore where ever your minds take you
Porn is just a useful stimulant. My wife has only recently opened her mind to it.
You sound like you have the right attitude, so go for it and enjoy the journey. Have fun.x
I think you need to give yourself a break. Despite your upbringing you are you, you are also a human and you have needs and kinks just like EVERYONE. It’s normal, it’s natural and quite frankly porn is much the same - it’s a normal thing a lot of people enjoy.
I really don’t feel that faith or religion should have anything to do with your sexual desires. Be you, stop worrying about beliefs or whether things are deemed as acceptable by others. It’s your life , RELAX, enjoy it and HAVE FUN!
I’m so pleased to hear how you’ve finally discovered this sexual awakening side to yourself and yet is kinda sad you hadn’t found it sooner but the best things tend to come with time as they say 