Review Hall of Fame

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Monkeysnacks, 18 Sep 2014
Bondage Boutique Beginners Collar and Lead

Who’s a Good Doggy?

Since the previous reviewer focused a lot on the quality of the build I’ll try to review the more psychological aspects of this product. I will just make a cover-all statement first by saying that it is extremely well-made. I spent quite a while actively trying to damage it and it remained in perfect working condition.

The design of the collar looks a lot like a dogs’; bright and a little bit garish. But that adds to the psychological aspect of wearing it. You’re not special enough to have a thick, padded leather one with studs and buckles. No, you get the happy, little velcro version. If you allow it to, it can really get into your head that you are just a pet and your role is to please your master.

It is comfortable to wear for long periods of time and (unlike leather) the material doesn’t make your neck sweat. The velcro strap distributes the force around your neck when the lead is pulled from the front and the edges of the collar are padded and rounded so that it doesn’t dig in even if you yank it about quite viciously.

Whilst well-made, the lead is a little bit flimsy. There isn’t any weight in it so it can’t really be used for flogging and it doesn’t hurt at all when you try to whip with it. The D-ring and clasp on the front however allows you to unclip the provided lead and substitute it for a heavier chain one should your pet require disciplining.

On the whole, the affordable price tag on this item makes for a good first venture into the world of BDSM. However, if you like to incorporate impact play this might not be the best choice for you.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Very good quality

Cons: Lead is a bit flimsy

Bottom Line: Definitely worth the purchase price

[Ian_Chimp]

by @flick_the_switch, 11 Sep 2014
Aneros Eupho Prostate Massager

Great For The ‘Tight’ Beginner, Amazing Orgasms

I’ll be honest from the offset, I’m pretty much an anal beginner, and I have two different Aneros prostate massagers, and this is my lesser favourite of the two. The other one is the Helix massager, which has a bigger ‘bulb’ end which I find works better for me.

That said and out of the way, this is still a great product. Aneros really work on their design to fit very well. The massager is smooth, easy to insert and remove (it comes with instructions telling you how to), and once in, it’s designed to stay in and not slip out during play.

The key to using these massagers is to practice slowly tightening your anal wall muscles and perineum, then relaxing them. If you do this along with deep breathing (in when tightening, out when relaxing) you will find this will really help.

I find that because the Helix model has a larger ‘head’/ bulb than this one, and I don’t have to concentrate or tighten as much for it to stimulate the prostate.

But, if you are someone who finds it hard to relax your anal muscles, and is by nature very tight and clenched down there, especially when something is inserted into your anus, then this is likely the best one for you. You’ll find it easier to stimulate your prostate and won’t find the head too small or too big.

The things I would say that really help using the massager are:

1. Use lots of lube before putting it in.

2. Put some time aside to lie down and use the massager and practice the exercises, and use the time to relax.

3. Practice playing around with lightly stroking your penis when practising the movements - you’ll find you have to do a lot less work playing with your penis for it to become rock hard.

One of the benefits of tightening your anal wall muscles and perineum/pelvic floor area is that when the prostate orgasmic sensations are building along with your ejaculation you can release your penis just before ejaculation and really grip those muscles tightly so you can experience ‘dry’ orgasms, where you experience wonderful orgasms without cumming (well, there might be quite a lot of pre-cum each time you have one).

This means you can have multiple orgasms in one sitting the more you practice. When you do finally ejaculate, you’ll have a mind-blowing orgasm. Very satisfying indeed.

I have yet to experience a total prostate orgasm - I always have to stimulate my penis for the full orgasm sensation - but I have had really amazing sensations in my prostate area and felt really horny as a result, and these massagers certainly make you aware more of your body and places that you wouldn’t access as much normally.

Once finished, the massager is very easy and quick to clean using hot water and antibacterial soap. It can then be immediately wiped dry with a towel and put away.

This is a well made item and will last a long time.

Ideal for the ‘tight’ beginner, but not so much for those who are used to having bigger things up there, and who don’t work those muscles much. But, with time and practice, I’m sure even those people could get results.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Easy to insert, stays in, effective through practice, easily cleaned, robust/ well made.

Cons: Takes a while to work up prostate orgasm, you need to work your muscles.

Bottom Line: Another good massager from Aneros, but I personally prefer the Helix for a beginner.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @OUCH_Thank_you, 05 Nov 2014
Lovehoney Beaded Sensual Glass Dildo

Carnal caterpillar

I’ve pretty much fallen in love with glass toys, so when this Beaded Sensual Glass Dildo arrived on the scene I had to have it.

Pulling our purchases from the discreet box, I had this in my hands before the OH even knew it was there. The packaging is a no-nonsense, non-tacky affair with a picture of the product on the main panel and branding/info on the others. I applaud this as it’s not at all intimidating to either sex.

Inside of the box sits this cute looking dildo and the gratefully received velvet storage bag, as well as a little info leaflet. I keep all of my glass products together in LH storage cases so these little bags prevent them clacking against one another, keeping them nice and safe.

The dildo itself is lovely to look at. There was not one air bubble to be found within the glass, and each of those beads combined with the pronounced curve makes for a sensual looking toy. It looks and feels like a luxury product, which is fantastic given its modest price.

We chilled this dildo and used it on me first. Vaginally, the bumps feel amazing, the ridges deep enough for you to feel every one. G-spot stimulation was super easy no matter which of us was in control, thanks to the big bulb on the end (he likes to use the bulb on me internally, I use it as a handle).

After watching me writhe through a satisfying, squirty orgasm, the OH wanted to see what he could do to me using it anally. The bumps feel even better when used for anal, each of them making delicious little pops as it’s moved in and out. It feels especially good when the glass is cooled, and he managed to bring me to orgasm twice more before his own needs got the better of him.

The OH is enjoying receiving anal more and more but he rarely requests it. My reaction to this toy had him wondering and I was stoked when he informed me the following day that I was to use this on him. After a fingery warm-up and the application of plenty of lube, I inserted it while giving him oral.

To my utter astonishment, he was rocking against it within minutes, pulling my head all over the place and cumming like a train. We’d only been playing for about ten minutes. He never gets off that fast and we were both a bit stunned. He now refers to it as his caterpillar and it lives in his toy box.

As with all glass toys, clean-up is simple. A quick wash in soapy water followed by a spritz of anti-bacterial sex toy cleaner before air drying will keep your toy fresh and hygienically clean.

Anyone looking for a glass dildo that can be used by either sex should look no further than this. Whether you’re looking for a toy that offers something extra during thrusting or something a little more precise for your G or P-spot, this Beaded Sensual Glass Dildo would be the one to buy.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything, it’s incredible.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: A perfect toy for women or men whether using it solo or as a couple.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Penny5518, 09 Oct 2014
Fun Factory ShareVibe USB Rechargeable Vibrating Double Strap On

Well hello, new best friend

Buy it. If you’re looking for the most enjoyable strap on or pegging play you’ve ever experienced, then this toy is just a dream come true. Fun Factory has always produced high-quality, exciting toys, and I own one of their other double dildos, the Share XL Silicone Textured Double Dildo 6 Inch, but this just blows that, and my other experiences, out of the water.

Firstly, this toy is 100% silicone, so is able to be sterilised, allowing couples who want to take turns being the wearer to still practise safe sex, as well as achieving a soft but firm texture which makes it feel incredibly realistic. This toy fills you completely, but without feeling overwhelming or too much, like other, harder toys have a tendency to do. It is shaped perfectly to hit your sweet spots, and has a nub at the base of the shaft which I found perfectly positioned to stimulate the clitoris.

The toy is relatively thick on the G-spot end, which makes it easier to both keep it in and get stimulation while in use. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to penetrate your partner with an actual penis, this toy is the closest I’ve found to achieving that sensation, as it fits closely enough to the body to feel as if it is a part of the wearer.

Before use, this toy will need to be charged, using the magnetic USB charger that comes with it. This toy can easily be plugged into your laptop among other options, so no worrying about batteries! For maximum charge 4 hours is recommended, but on average it seems to take around 2 hours. This toy lasts a relatively long time with each charge, so you don’t have to worry about remembering after every time or the worst part of vibrating toys, the painful surprise death mid-session.

One thing I will mention is that the toy makes a low humming noise while on charge. Nothing loud or noticeable but personally I would find this distracting if I charged it overnight.

On to my favourite thing about this toy: the vibrations. It’s always difficult for me to find a toy that has the strength of vibrations I like, and this absolutely delivers. The vibrations are incredibly strong, not just in the clitoral nub but also throughout both shafts, allowing both parties to receive full stimulation.

There are 5 different settings, from strong constant vibrations, to fast pulses, to undulating waves which change in strength, that ensure you won’t get bored of this toy and you can find your perfect sensation.

When it comes to the actual action, this toy adds a smoothness to changing positions that other strap-ons or double dildos do not, and wasn’t too difficult to hold in place using your Kegel muscles alone, instead of having to rely on your thighs… After using generous amounts of lube, we experimented with this toy and were delighted to find that there was no awkward adjusting or fretting about changing positions required - this toy works well in almost all situations you can conjure up.

From the luxury packaging to the feeling of this in use, this toy truly gives one of the highest quality experiences you can find on the market. Why waste money on several cheap, sub-par strap ons when you could buy this and have an incredible experience to last for years? I would recommend this to beginners and the more experienced alike - you won’t regret it.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Great quality, incredible design, rechargeable.

Cons: Slight humming noise while charging. (Seriously, this is the only negative.)

Bottom Line: An incredible product. Buy it. No, seriously. Buy. It.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Flagoogin, 19 Oct 2014
Lovehoney Classic Magic Wand Vibrator

Lives up to the hype

Having heard nothing but good things about wand vibrators, I bought this for me and my lady-friend to try out. When we can’t see each other, she likes to use a vibrator. However, she always complains that a vibrator usually leaves her more frustrated as it doesn’t give her the release she needs. Hence, the wand.

First of all, I must say that thing before trying the product was excellent. Easy to use website, fast delivery and, best of all, very discreet packaging. Top marks all round. When it arrived, I opened it up to have a sneak peek. The best thing about this toy is that compared to other, more “well-known” brands (I’m sure you know which one I mean), this one actually looks appealing to use. Smooth and modern, the scroll wheel is perfectly positioned, the grip section is just right to make sure you can keep a hold of it and best of all, it’s not intimidating. In fact, when my lady saw it, she instantly smiled and looked relieved.

On to the actual use of the product. We used it a few times during that first night. The first time was simply for her. Let me preface this by saying that I was a little anxious that the toy could end up replacing me. The stories of wands and the effects they have are legendary. I needn’t have worried. To all the guys out there, the amount of pleasure you will see on your partners face when you use this on them is astounding and incredibly sexy.

We started off on the lowest setting, fully prepared to accept that it might take time for her to fully let go. Not at all. Within seconds she was asking for it to be turned up, and within a few minutes we were fully turned up and she finally got an orgasmic release from a vibrator. She said that part of the reason was because I was using it rather than her being in a room herself. It’s much easier for couples to use than a rabbit vibrator.

I also bought the G-Spot pleaser attachment. My partner has “squirted” before but its never been projected. It has now. We used the attachment whilst I went down on her and when she got close to the point, she told me to take the toy away and that she needed me to finish with her. She tells me she needed me to allow her to get to the point of actually squirting but the wand was the one that did the hard work.

We’ve since used it during penetrative sex, both vaginally and anally, and that is an experience not to be missed. The vibrations and the tightening of her grip around you is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. She also wanted to try it on me by holding it along my shaft with the vibrating head just under the head of my penis. I had never expected a vibrator to make me cum but I stand pleasantly corrected.

The only two faults I can find with this are that it heats up quite quickly (my partner was quite worried) and you may be out off by the apparent noise. Don’t be. While it sounds noisy when you are using it, I came back to the bedroom from getting some water and there she was using it on the highest setting. I didn’t hear a thing until I was in the room. A must buy for everyone.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Powerful, mains powered, looks appealing.

Cons: Heats up quickly, noisy when you’re in the room.

Bottom Line: A fantastic buy and a must-have for couples.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Lovebirds_x, 08 Oct 2014
Lovehoney Lifelike Elle Super Tight Pocket Pussy

A perfect pocket pussy

Our first impressions of this stroker were quite simply, ‘flip, that is tiny’. Like, way too tiny.

We began to wonder if we had misinterpreted the meaning of ‘supertight’. Thankfully, our fears of not being able to take the testing any further vanished once we popped our fingers in and realised it was super stretchy too!

We were super impressed with the material. Lovehoney have somehow managed to capture the soft yet firm, supple, lifelike feel of quality brands like Fleshlight, without having the hefty price tag.

It doesn’t go super sticky after washing, it doesn’t smell weird and it isn’t an unnatural, garish imitation of a flesh tone that doesn’t exist. Those three points already put it miles ahead of many of its competitors! Not to mention the fact that TPR is non-toxic, hypoallergenic and phthalate free, so no hidden nasties!

We loved the shape of the stroker too. Having never seen a realistic stroker from Lovehoney, we were shamefully doubtful about just how real it would seem. We were pleased to find the attractive little pussy lips were detailed and well moulded, and they aren’t stuck down to the opening, so they can move around a penis the way real ones do.

This is quite possibly my favourite thing about watching my partner use realistic toys, the lips moving around him look so erotic and sexy. I am assured they feel as good as they look! The ribs on the outside make it surprisingly easy and comfortable to grip from any angle, even when lube inevitably goes everywhere. The whole stroker is tactile and ergonomic, it is an absolute pleasure to use.

Given the super tightness, we expected a struggle to get my partner in as he is above average girth wise. However, with just a dab of lube he slid right in. I can’t stress enough how beautifully supple this toy is. It’s surprising to see how much manhood it can actually accommodate.

Once in, you get to feel the lovely inner patterns and a decent amount of suction, which is somewhat controllable by moving your finger over the hole at the end. The exquisite tightness made every little bump more pronounced.

My partner’s head did pop out the hole at the other end, so if you don’t like that it could be worth bearing in mind that there is only about 5 inches of insertable length. The pattern remains pretty much the same throughout, so it stimulates the entire length of the penis very well. The stroker is so quiet during use, unlike some which tend to slurp or whistle.

On the base, you’ll find a slot for a bullet vibe. Having received this item to test before it was officially on the site, this was a pleasant surprise for us as we figured it would just be a bog standard stroker. Assuming they’d have based it on their own products, we popped in our Lovehoney 10 Function Dream Toy Bullet and, as anticipated, it fitted perfectly.

The vibrations were great and carried surprisingly well throughout the entire toy, with the tapered end of the bullet providing a more pinpointed area of vibration towards the middle of the sleeve that teases down the length on the penis on every thrust in. If you don’t own a bullet yourself, I would highly recommend that one as it is fully compatible and is on offer fairly regularly. Right now, you get free lube!

Using the bullet really added an unexpected and fun dimension to this little toy, especially when you consider all the lovely vibration patterns. And if you somehow get bored of using it in the sleeve, you can always use it to tease yourself everywhere else. Points to Lovehoney for giving guys a great excuse to buy a bullet, so often mistaken as a female only toy, for their own pleasure!

After the inevitable explosion clean up is quick and easy, with the open-endedness being a major advantage as it helps you both clean and air it dry thoroughly. After cleaning it goes a little tacky as all ‘realistic’ toys do, though not as much as what our more expensive Fleshlight and Fanta Flesh inserts would. It is still best to have some powder to hand, so remember to add some to your order if you have none already.

Overall, we had a great experience with this stroker. It far exceeded our (admittedly high) expectations. The quality is right up there with the likes of Fleshlight at only a fraction of the price, even when you add on the price of an accompanying bullet vibe.

It is versatile, fun to use both individually and as a couple, and the potential to add vibrations makes this toy twice as fun. The small size makes it super travel friendly and easy to store.

We would highly recommend this to anyone who wants to invest in a good quality but low price realistic stroker.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The feel of the material, the inner textures, the optional vibrations, the realistic colour.

Cons: Nothing, it’s a great little stroker. You’ll want a bullet to use with it though!

Bottom Line: Amazing quality for the price, this is a very attractive and fun toy!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @slinkykinky, 17 Nov 2014
Happy Rabbit 2 Natural USB Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator

A very happy bunny

I have owned a number of rabbits over the years, but I’ve never had the pleasure of owning one that made such big promises, so I was very eager to get my hands on the Happy Rabbit 2.

It comes in a sleek, pink and white box and you can tell from the word go that you are dealing with a high quality product, but that still doesn’t prepare you for what is in the box.

The rabbit is a lovely shade of bright pink and looks fun before you even get going. It is made from a beautifully smooth silicone which feels amazing against the skin, and it feels pleasantly weighty in your hand, without being too large or heavy.

The shaft and ears are operated independently by pressing the top and bottom of the exclamation mark on the base and when you turn it on - wow! It is unbelievably powerful - I couldn’t wait to give it a go.

The fact that the ears and shaft have their own motor really puts you in control. From delicious internal rumblings to intense clitoral stimulation, you really can get exactly what you want from this toy, and changing the pattern of vibrations is simple, with a quick press of a button.

It is a great size, giving you a delicious full feeling without being intimidating for beginners, and it is amazingly quiet considering the power it is putting out. In fact, it is much quieter than many of my other toys, which is great, because this one is obviously going to make a lot of them redundant.

Although I have the ‘natural’ version and not the G-spot version, I found that it hit my G-spot with ease, bringing me to a mind-blowing, multiple orgasm within minutes - my husband is amazed at how fast I can climax with this toy and it has become something that we use together, as well as a little treat for me when I’m on my own.

Being waterproof, it is easy to clean, and it even comes with a handy storage bag to keep it pristine when it’s not in use.

I have only charged the toy once and it seems to hold its charge well, which I was surprised at considering how powerful it is.

Without gushing too much (excuse the pun!), I absolutely love this toy. It looks amazing, it feels great, and it will give you the most amazing orgasms within minutes. It’s also super quiet, although after a few minutes with this toy, you certainly won’t be!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The incredibly powerful vibrations.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: If you like orgasms, this is the one for you!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @LibraLover, 06 Nov 2014
Bondage Boutique Beginner’s 10 Inch Rubber Flogger

Cutest Rubber Flogger

This is a fantastic little flogger. Although only 2.25" smaller than our other flogger (Bondage Boutique Intermediate Suede Flogger), it just looks so cute! It comes in the normal Bondage Boutique packaging, which is a plain bag and cardboard tag.

The tassels are rubber and the handle is plastic. I don’t really like the wrist loop, but it’s actually keeping the tassels in place at the top end of the handle so couldn’t be removed completely. Instead, I added a bead and tied a knot at the top of the handle and cut the excess string off.

It’s very well made and the handle, although not the most luxurious, is very sturdy. The rubber obviously has a smell at first, but this is lost over time, or you can speed the process up by wiping it with soap and water after every use.

I was surprised by how different this feels to our other flogger. The rubber gives completely different sensations. We mainly use them as ticklers and the feel of all the rubber tassels trailing across my body is very arousing. When hit with this it is not particularly painful (although it does make a distinctive noise), but is harder than our suede one. If, like me, you don’t want to feel too much pain, either of these are perfect.

I bought this when it was in the 3 for £10 deal and it was fantastic value. However, I’m not convinced by its full price. There isn’t much of a price difference between this and the suede one, so if you’re looking for your first flogger, I would recommend getting the suede one. It definitely feels more luxurious and the fuller head is more arousing. But, if you’re looking for a rubber flogger in particular, this is fantastic! The small size also makes it very accessible to beginners, and is handy for travelling.

All the Bondage Boutique items I have, including this one, are extremely high quality, and I would recommend them for any bondage items.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Rubber tassels feel nice, very high quality, small size, looks very dainty.

Cons: I think the full price is a bit too high.

Bottom Line: If you’re looking for a rubber flogger, this is perfect!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @DominaDoll, 18 Nov 2014
Bettie Page Collar Me Bondage Collar and Lead Set

Lead Me Into Temptation

I’m a huge fan of Bettie Page and retro pin up art, so was super keen when I saw the launch of the Bettie Page Official Pleasure Products Collection which features an array of sexy kink products from bondage and spanking to pleasure vibes.

The Collar and Leash set comes in a lovely collector’s gift box, with sexy Bettie Page pin-up art featured on the inside of the cover. The collar also comes with two cute collector items: a small collector’s Bettie Page card (kind of like a baseball card) and a cute, sexy little key chain. Sweet! I love it when manufacturer’s give so much attention detail with their products.

The Collar is made from quilted faux leather in a criss-cross design with soft velvety material inside. It is very comfortable to wear, not to wide or too thin. It is, however, small (13”-17” in length), as I had mine on in the last hole, but then I have a large neck for a woman. So it should fit most women well.

It fastens with a metal buckle in back and features a pretty D-ring in front to attach the leash. You could un-attach the leash (34” in length) with the quick release clips from the D-ring and hang the BP key chain on it, then wear just as a Fashionista collar (sexy!). Or, attach nipple clamps (oh my!) or chain and hand-cuffs if so desired. So extremely versatile, which I love. The handle is made from the same material as the collar itself and is quite comfy to hold.

The Collar and Leash are very well constructed and heavy duty for this type of fashionable kink accessory. It is quite heavy and the chain is super sturdy and strong. This product is perfect for puppy play or D/s collar and leash play, as well as just a fashion accessory in and of itself.

I have been exploring a more submissive role with my partner, and wearing the sexy collar and leash made it easy to transform myself into the role of a love slave, which he found very erotic as well. I will definitely wear this collar out as a fashion accessory as well, so it should gets lots of quality use.

The Bettie Page Collar and Leash makes a great gift and comes already gift-wrapped in a lovely box!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Sturdy design, sexy, high quality, attention to detail, lovely box.

Con: Could be slightly longer.

Bottom Line: Super fantastic!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @ageing-hippy, 02 Nov 2014
Tracey Cox EDGE Maximum Control Adjustable Stamina Ring

Does what it says on the tin

I ordered this for my husband (with his consent and blessing!) as he is now well and truly the wrong side of 60 and on beta blockers, so his erections are not what they used to be.

We have used it twice this past week, so it’s still early days, but the initial experience is definitely favourable. Having got him erect, I slipped the ring on and tightened it on his penis.

Maybe it was the novelty effect, but he seemed to get even harder straight away, it certainly didn’t interfere with penetration, I was not even aware of it and he certainly felt much firmer inside me. When he reached his climax he had to fumble around a bit to release it, my secretions made things a bit more slippery down there, but he slackened it off just in time to ejaculate normally.

The second time we used it, he put it on behind his balls, it made no difference from my point of view, but he thought it helped maintain his erection even more and he kept it in position for his climax this time. He stayed hard for several minutes after. However, he said it felt odd when he came and obviously the semen merely dribbled out once he removed the ring.

So first impressions are very good.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Discreet, does not interfere with penetration.

Cons: From my point of view, nothing, he likes it too.

Bottom Line: Highly recommended.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @JJohnson, 01 Dec 2014
Aneros Helix Syn Silicone Prostate Massager

And You Thought Finding Her G-Spot Was Worthwhile

This was my first purchase from Lovehoney and I was very thankful for the excellent product detail offered for the entire male prostate massager range.

The Aneros is probably the most well known prostate toy on the market and also one of the least understood. Basically it works like this. It stimulates highly sensitive areas around the genitals, both externally and internally, via controlled movement of local muscle groups and a relaxed mental focus on the sensations it triggers.

Go back to when you first experimented with masturbation, that initial confusion, that enjoyment, that exploration, and eventual delightful result. Well this is like discovering a more intense version of that, and it certainly should be on anyone’s bucket list.

When I ordered this, along with some anal lubricant and anal douche, I was delighted to see the total cost meant I was eligible for free next day delivery. And after a very excited 24 hours, a plain box arrived at my door.

This is an excellently crafted product that reflects the recent trend of high quality sophisticated sex toys on the market. It’s packaged like a jewel and built like one too. The first thing that might strike you is its modest size, but don’t worry it packs a hell of a punch.

Now, before this goes anywhere near you, I suggest reading up on the massive amounts of information available documenting how the Aneros products should be used. There’s really way too much to go into here. But you need to be cleaned up and very much in the mood to be aroused.

It slips in with remarkable ease and, due to it’s scientifically designed shape, seems to dive into position like a well trained marine ready for action. It’s now up to you to take you time and feel what this can do for you.

For me, my first experience was fantastic. Did I experience a mega-O? I didn’t. Did I experience multiple dry orgasms? No. But what I did experience was something I’ve never felt before that has changed my sexual self awareness forever. The Aneros experience is neither hetrosexual nor homosexual. What it is is deeply erotic. Imagine lying on you back in a deep state of relaxation and arousal as you caress your own body with a new found sense of self-worship, while you gently tease the Aneros back and forth until your writhing, gasping, and shuddering like the opposite sex as their world moves.

Yes, it can take a long time and that time will be extended by any feelings of doubt, confusion, and over-eagerness. The Aneros is not a fire-and-forget sex toy. It’s much akin to trying to solve The Da Vinci Code by sticking the novel up your backside. But it is worth it and it’s an investment that just keeps giving and giving. My second time, better; my third, a disappointment; my fourth, incredible from the moment I popped it in.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Scientifically designed with sound medical backing, first class construction, and genuine results.

Cons: Instruction leaflet could do more to encourage new users to educate themselves before use.

Bottom Line: A modest looking sex toy that can bring on a sexual revelation.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @butterflybee, 15 Dec 2014
Lovehoney Love Me Lace Halter Bra

Racy lacy

I received this bra to match my Lovehoney Love Me Lace Crotchless Boyshort with Suspenders. I couldn’t wait to receive it as I love the boyshorts so much, and I wanted to see how both pieces looked when worn together.

As with the boyshorts, the lace is wonderfully soft and is a beautiful rich red colour. The shoulder straps of the bra both have small black bows, one of which has a very cute Lovehoney logo charm.

The bra fastens at the front, making it very easy to both put on, and remove. I received the bra in a size Small and although the cups were perfect, around my back was a little loose. I do have a small back size at 30DD though. It wasn’t gaping and huge, but it certainly felt loose. Although the bra contains no underwiring, it does offer relatively good support as the band that sits under your bust is quite wide. The fact that it is halterneck means that you can also tighten/loosen the straps to provide more or less lift and support.

In terms of sizing, I believe that this bra would comfortably fit up to around an E cup. Around the back, I think that a size 32-34 would be accommodated quite easily, as the material does have a little stretch.

As with the boyshorts, the bra is very comfortable to wear, the lace is not scratchy in the slightest. Worn together, the bra and boyshorts make a very sexy lingerie set. The bra can easily be worn on its own under clothing, or teamed with the matching boyshorts and suspenders as a bedroom outfit to excite and tease your partner.

I think that for the price this bra is brilliant quality. If you are looking for sexy lingerie on a budget, this will be perfect for you. I would definitely recommend buying the matching boyshorts too, as the set really does look gorgeous together!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: The softness of the lace. Looks gorgeous when matched with the boyshorts.

Cons: Nothing!

Bottom Line: Beautifully sexy lingerie at a budget price! Perfect!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @CutieCurious, 26 Dec 2014
Lovehoney Sex Toy Renewer Powder

Made my toys feel fantastic

I bought this powder recently as I am a big fan of realistic dildos and own a fair few. Some of them were feeling a little tacky, so I decided to give this product a try.

After cleaning and drying my toys, I sprinkled some powder over them. Applying the powder was a bit messy, my only negative about the product - when the lid is opened, the powder is released through a multi-hole opening, similar to the top of a pepper shaker, except supersized. Because the holes on the top are so big and there are so many of them, tons of powder comes out straight away, and it’s impossible to make sure it all goes on the toy. So, make sure you do this somewhere you don’t mind getting powder everywhere and somewhere that you find easy to clean up. My suggestion would be over the sink.

Once the powder was on, I stored my toys away until the next time I wanted to use them - that was when I saw just how effective this product is. When I cleaned the powder off before my next play session, the toys felt soft and realistic once more - no tackiness at all. They felt like brand new toys.

I’ve now got into the habit of using the powder every time I use my realistic dildos, whether I feel like they’re getting tacky or not. I’ll be keeping a constant stock of it in future - it’s a must-have.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: How effective it is. The container is also pretty and discreet.

Cons: The size of the opening on the top. Lets too much powder out at once.

Bottom Line: Treat your realistic dildos to this powder - they deserve it!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Spoonerism, 08 Dec 2014
Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat

Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat

As a huge fan of all things fetish, pin-up and burlesque, I completely adore the Bettie Page range of bedroom bondage equipment. It is all so tastefully presented, really fun, sexy and unintimidating.

The ‘Picture This’ spanking bat comes packaged in a stunning presentation box, along with a cigarette card style collectors card and cute key chain. It would make an incredible gift, just add your own bow!

The paddle itself is made out of matte faux leather. Now I’m one of those people who will normally lose interest in something that isn’t real leather, but I really don’t mind this paddle. It has a bit of a ‘not leather’ scent to it, but it’s not overpoweringly plastic-y like a cheap shoe shop on a hot day. I can’t really describe it but it’s tolerable. The stitching is pretty good and the overall feel of the paddle is just… nice. And, of course, it looks lovely with the stunning black and white photo of Bettie on the one side, the focal point being her fabulous sequin knickers! The other side is plain black with a quilted effect.

This spanking bat is so fun to use. It is a nice weight to it and comfortable to hold for a reasonable period of time. It would be great for absolute beginners who may be a bit timid about dealing blows to their partner as it is very gentle, even when swung with force. Its bark is definitely worse than its bite! The quilted side is especially gentle and thuddy, which my partner preferred. The smoother (picture) side can be a bit more nasty, but it takes some effort to deal any real pain. It does leave some satisfying red marks on the receiver, but I doubt it could ever bruise.

More advanced BDSM players would probably find this paddle a bit too tame, but for casual, sensual spanking sessions it is just the ticket.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: It’s very pretty, great packaging, feels lovely.

Cons: A bit tame if you really want to bring the pain!

Bottom Line: A beautiful, sensual spanking companion.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @BBWinch, 21 Jan 2015
Womanizer USB Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator

A revolution in orgasm for women

I was curious to read the reviews of this product, and waited to see a number of reviews before I ordered.

First the good points. Packaging and what you get when you open the box - the device seems well made and comes in a zipped pouch. It had some charge of the battery, so was available for use without charging the first time.

There is a USB cable and a round pin plug, which is probably a fiddle to use in the UK, as you would need a travel adapter to use it here. It comes with a spare silicon-feel head for the suction unit, and an instruction manual.

As the other reviewers say, it makes a slightly odd noise. You fit the head of the device over your clitoris and the suction device, which is very gentle, goes to work. You know when you have a seal as the sound reduces.

A larger button, shaped like a gemstone (see below under design drawbacks), lets you ramp up the power of the suction, drawing the clitoris into a cone-shaped void. This is the first device I have used where the highest level of stimulation was too much, in fact, way too much, for me.

The company’s website describes the orgasm achieved through this device as “contact-less”, that is, the very sensitive tip of the clitoris is never in contact with anything. This may sound counter-intuitive, but it produces an orgasm effect unlike any I have experienced in 50 plus active years.

I would describe the orgasm as being what Betty Dodson, orgasm guru, calls a “sleeping beauty” orgasm. The best way to use it is to lie still and relaxed, and press the device to your clitoris. The orgasm comes amazingly quickly, and feels quite unique. I have had two kinds of orgasm with it.

In one, as you reach climax the pelvic floor begins the rhythmic pulsations, but instead of those pulsations tailing off, they continue to climb in intensity, so where you think “Oh, this is over and I’m coasting downhill now.” Instead it goes up a notch, up a notch, up a notch, up another notch, OMG up another notch and pretty soon you hear yourself making a sound you have not heard since childbirth.

The second kind of orgasm, and this was a surprise as I have never felt anything like it, is that you reach climax and instead of the pulsing sensation, you reach the high note and just hold it.

I experienced one long continuous spasm, no pulsations, just my whole pelvic floor flipping out into one glorious sensation that seemed as if I was in freeze frame. It didn’t stop until I moved the device off my clitoris. Again, there were childbirth noises.

I really think this device should be investigated by sexual therapists for people who have difficulty achieving orgasm. It seems to me a game changer. Also worth noting that since I have been using it, I feel an overall effect of heightened sexual awareness.

Is it any good for couple use? Not sure. I sort of feel that my other half might be a tiny bit intimidated by this magic device that doesn’t move back and forth, vibrate, make sexy squelching sounds (as pointed out by a previous reviewer), etc, but does move the user to some previously unknown sexual nirvana that no partner could ever hope to compete with.

Let me paint you a picture of just how unexpected and different these orgasms are compared with those arising other kinds of stimulation. Let’s say you are sitting at Costa Coffee eating a sandwich and having a coffee. Afterwards, you get up and think, “Mmm, that was good” and go back to the office.

With the Womanizer, you are sitting eating your sandwich and coffee and while you are doing this, a flashmob of about 200 people mill around you and suddenly strike up the Halleluja Chorus, which is so loud and so unexpected, that you end up spilling your coffee. You are dazed and covered in coffee, and they are still singing.

Downside: okay. The people who designed the outside need a telling off. Away, please, with the Barbie colour scheme, the fake gemstone button and the animal print panel on the back. Come. On. We are grown ups. Also, the User’s Manual, in which English features as the second language, needs a complete overhaul. The translation is poor, and the photographs on the quick-start manual? Please.

The company needs to revise this with something more tasteful, like illustrations that tell you everything you need, but don’t give you a view of a lady with acrylic nail designs applying the device to her own personal bits. Also - discretion please! We don’t need the word “Womanizer” emblazoned on the outside of the zippy pouch.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: It’s quite unlike anything else.

Cons: The colour, the manual, and the branded pouch.

Bottom Line: Extraordinary.

[Ian_Chimp]

@glitterary, 25 Jan 2015
TENGA Egg Lovers Heart

An offer worth accepting

I’ve tried two of these with different partners - the Lovers Heart, and the now-discontinued Keith Haring version.

First off, I love the idea of these. It’s fun to have something to add a bit of variety to your common-or-garden hand job, and the elegance of both the packaging and the soft egg itself sets TENGA eggs apart from most other toys aimed at people with penises - the comparatively gender-neutral packaging is definitely a plus. It immediately feels like you’re buying a higher-quality sex toy.

The thermoplastic elastomer (which feels like a cross between rubber and silicone) egg sits snugly inside the plastic case with a little sachet of lube rolled up inside. It’s a good idea to warm the sachet in your hands before squeezing it in, or the partner on the receiving end gets a bit of a cold shock!

Provided you haven’t managed to squeeze the lube all over your hands, it’s fairly easy to fit the egg over the head of a penis, and the partner I tried the Keith Haring version with said the sensation was amazing. Unfortunately, the Keith Haring one also very quickly developed a hole at the top, which made it a little trickier to use - my partner said it still felt good, but I had to be careful not to pull the material down too far and split it further. The Lovers Egg version managed to stay intact, but the partner I used it with wasn’t as impressed with the sensation.

In general, these eggs are seem to be best suited to stimulation of the head of the penis; you can pull them down further, but they won’t cover the whole shaft, and the more you move them around the more apt they are to slip off, make funny noises, or split.

So, I’ve had mixed success with these; I think a lot of it comes down to what kind of sensation the receiving partner enjoys. However, they’re a great idea and if you’re the kind of person who likes to tease your partner rather than race to the finish, I think you could get a lot of mileage out of the unique sensation a TENGA egg offers.

Overall Rating: 7 out of 10 stars

Pros: The packaging; the opportunity to try a completely new sensation.

Cons: A little delicate; can be hard to hold on to; may cause puns.

Bottom Line: A novelty worth trying, though it may not be to everyone’s tastes.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @TheMinxyMilly, 02 Jan 2015
Lovehoney Plus Size Spoil Me Satin Cage Brief

Oh how I feel sexy

I don’t normally feel good in lingerie. It never fits properly or bunches up in weird places, and isn’t usually comfortable. Yet, nothing makes my behind feel sexier than the Lovehoney Spoil Me Satin Cage Brief.

The way the cage brief covers, or rather doesn’t cover my Oh-So-Bodacious Booty, makes me feel incredibly attractive. I cannot say that about any other lingerie I own, nor any other clothes. I have always felt very unhappy with my body. Yet, this undergarment changes that for just a few hours.

The reason I say for a few hours is because after a while I start to fiddle and pick at the strings along the back. The strips of elastic and the lace will twist, roll and ride up my butt cheeks, making it uncomfortable and will occasionally make a snapping sound when I walk. However, once I have rearranged the cage brief I can go back to my usual routine. If I am being quite energetic, or wearing tight fitting clothing, then I will need to fix them more frequently.

Surprisingly, the undies are really well made. They are durable and stitched together nicely. However the Lovehoney tag fell off the first time I wore them. I am not sure if this was intentional or not, but I don’t believe it was attached properly either way. Not that that’s a problem for me. I obviously know which way these go, and I always wash my more delicate lingerie pieces in proper lingerie bags. However the rest of the garment is strong, and I was spanked quite harshly while wearing them and they held up well.

Personally I think other people, usually men, get more out of me wearing these than I do, but when someone is attracted to me, I feel positive about my body and it can make my day. I prefer to wear these for intimate moments, but if I am having a bad day, I can use these to give me a slight boost. Knowing someone is attracted to me when I wear them gives me an empowering feeling and it can really make my day.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Makes me feel really sexy.

Cons: Bit fiddling and needs rearranging quite frequently.

Bottom Line: A great addition to any underwear drawer!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @BlindMonkey7, 03 Feb 2015
Fifty Shades of Grey Restrain Me Bondage Rope

''I’d be more than happy to show you what I can do with a rope"

First impressions count! The presentation of the rope with the packaging really keeps in line with the sleek and smart look of all the FSOG stuff. Both ropes are wrapped with double sided card. One side with the usual indulging wording on and the other with some really handy instructions for beginners. And if you’re so lucky to speak another language, you can read it in French, Dutch or Spanish.

The pictured and written instructions show you how to do a basic wrist restraint. Very similar to the way the rope is tied in the Lovehoney product picture.

As for the rope… Well… the cat was around and immediately started to attack the ends of the rope. No worries, though, as from thorough testing from Ginger (the cat) no fraying or pulled threads. There’s even a cap on the end which reminds me of a bullet casing, stopping the end from unwinding and slowly making its way down the rope. It looks like expensive rope!

There’s something about being tied up. Much better than cuffs. You can tease and build up the suspense a lot more than just whacking on a bit of metal around your wrists. It’s a lot more versatile too, with the two ropes in the pack the possibilities are endless and are only limited by your imagination. Not by the amount of rope you have, there’s plenty of it!

No burns! The smooth texture of the rope also means if you’re to drag it over your skin, you don’t get rope burn! YAY!

All in all, a brilliant packaged and well made rope! I would say I’d consider buying more but I’ve got enough by just buying this pack!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Superb quality, you can tell it’s Fifty Shades of Grey!

Cons: N/A.

Bottom Line: Brilliant product, recommended if you want to spice things up or you want quality rope!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Greenwine, 18 Feb 2015
Lovehoney Adore Me Lace & Microfibre Chemise Set

Over-delivers in a big way

As usual, quickly delivered in plain wrapping so no dramas.

The immediate impression is that this looks and feels even better than the pics on the website. The red is deep and rich, the lace trim is good quality and nicely attached (no loose threads) and the microfibre material is smooth, stretchy and just feels ‘good’. The whole thing looks well-made (apart from the knickers, but I always think knickers in these kinds of set look cheap and nasty).

The next step was to try it on - wow, nothing less than a transformation from happy housewife to 50’s vamp! I love the way it clings to and accentuates curves and the material is strong enough to be gently supportive. The back straps are a very nice touch - a quick bit of titivation and hey presto, no back fat.

So far so good. Another look in the mirror and hmmm, those suspenders could be improved by being a bit wider, just a bit more substantial. No problem - they’re removable. Sixty seconds later, with the suspenders replaced by wider straps with metal clips, the chemise looks perfect and very retro.

Teamed with some semi-opaque black lace-top stockings, simple sheer black knickers and a pair of pretty red suede shoes, let’s just say hubby had a VERY happy homecoming (and so did I!)

One potential improvement - add another pair of loops so the chemise can take six suspender straps. But that’s maybe an unfair criticism - this is pretty, sexy, curvaceously flattering and wild-romance-inducing!

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Just about everything.

Cons: The knickers - why bother? - and I’d like to have six straps .

Bottom Line: Great, I love it.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @ef, 02 Feb 2015
Toy Joy Strapless Strap On Double Ended Dildo 7 Inch

Sorry to disappoint!

I have wanted to try pegging with my partner for a while, and he seemed to be up for it so I bought us this to try it out. I wasn’t too keen about the idea of having to faff around with a harness, so a strapless dildo seemed like a good solution!

As usual, this arrived within 48 hours, in it’s discreet packaging (that brown box which I get so excited to see!). Inside the box was the dildo, which was presented in a chunky white box with green writing and pictures on the front. After having a bit of a laugh that this was called ‘bend over boyfriend’, I opened the packaging and found the dildo inside.

The dildo looked a good size and the purple colour was very aesthetically pleasing. I was worried that the bulb head would be too large, but it seemed like an okay size. However, the dildo felt very heavy and I wasn’t sure if it was going to work as well as we had planned.

When we came to use the toy (which we did that very night due to our excitement), we had a warm-up with some of our other toys first. I was very excited by this time and therefore was getting quite wet. The head went into my vagina well, but as soon as I moved it started to slip out. It was so heavy I was having to hold it in. And that wasn’t the only problem! Because I was having to hold it in and try and point it in the right direction, it took us a good 5/10 minutes to find a position for my boyfriend and I which meant that the pegging would work. (Perhaps I just need better muscle control and more practice before using a strapless, I’m not sure!)

Despite the faffing around, once we found a position and a rhythm my boyfriend enjoyed the pegging experience. He said the dildo made him feel very full and he would definitely do it again! It was a good length and girth for him too. We have had lots of experience of anal play, it’s something which we both love, but we are both newbies to pegging. If you’re a newbie to anal play, I would recommend starting with a butt plug and building up to pegging with dildos!

So, in regards to the dildo, it’s a good dildo. It’s a great size for us, although slightly too heavy. But I think I’m going to invest in a strap-on dildo for our next adventure, as well as a pair of kegel balls to strengthen my vagina in the hope that I can hold this in!

Overall Rating: 5 out of 10 stars

Pros: The dildo was a good size and girth. It was also a lovely colour.

Cons: The dildo was heavy, and I found it difficult to keep inside my vagina.

Bottom Line: A good dildo if you have experience in pegging/good vagina muscles! Not for beginners!