Review Hall of Fame

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Subdom27, 26 Feb 2015
Fun Factory SmartBall Uno Kegel Exerciser

Great results

We received this product from Lovehoney in return for an honest review. Thanks LH!

Although neither of us have ever been afraid of a bit of exercise, we had never even thought much of exercising our downstairs parts. We had always thought that it was a bit pointless, but we were so very wrong!

When we received the package, our first impressions were that the box was nicely designed. As it’s a product which is aimed more at sexual health rather than pleasure, we felt the box reflected that well. The light pink design isn’t in your face and it works well.

Most other Kegel exercisers are two balls, rather than one. However, for a complete novice like my wife, just having one ball was a little less daunting.

The outside shell and the long retrieval loop are made of pretty hard, smooth silicone. Inside, it has a pink ‘jiggle ball’, which adds some extra pleasure to the whole experience. Also, because it’s silicone, you know that it’s completely body safe, which we found very reassuring.

The recommendations in the product description state that you should only use it for 15 minutes at a time. However, depending on your muscles down there, you could definitely go a lot longer. My wife kept it in for an hour on her first go and squeezed her muscles around it to give them a real workout. She said that it gave her really nice sensations when she released her “grip”, and it left her super horny when she had finished.

She has now been using it for up to an hour each day for the last few weeks, and we can both really tell the difference. Not only has it given her better control of her pelvic floor muscles, she also feels tighter and she has a massively increased libido!

It’s something that you can pop in wherever you are, and you can go about your general business. It’s not going to make you squirm in your seat (much), so wearing it in public shouldn’t be too much of an issue. Although it does help to squeeze yourself around the ball whilst it’s inside, even if you don’t, we’ve been told by others that you still get some benefits to your muscle strength.

We’d recommend this product to anyone who wants an easy introduction to training their pelvic floor muscles. We’re now just looking forward to trying something slightly more advanced, with a bit more weight. She doesn’t want to be a body builder down there, but the effects are so noticeable that we’d be fools not to pursue this further!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Easy to use. Great for a beginner.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: A perfect introduction to Kegel exercising.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @MiniFirefly, 04 Feb 2015
Lovehoney BASICS Gold Metallic Lady Lustfinger Mini Vibrator

Again and Again

I’ve had this vibrator now for nearly 6 years (can you believe it?!) and it’s still going! I have been through my fair share and this golden wonder has seen them all come and go! It’s my old faithful and hasn’t diminished in quality that whole time.

The battery life is still fairly good, although perhaps not as good as vibes you can now buy.

It is a pretty good length and width for external clitoral stimulation. I don’t find it quite so good for internal pleasure as it is a little too slippy when wet (!) and also a little lacking in girth for my liking.

The vibration has just the one setting, which may or may not suit you. To be honest, I have often bought multi-function vibrators and ended up just using the steady vibration in any case!

The best feature for me is the portability of the vibe and also the look. I love the shiny gold finish and it hasn’t chipped or peeled at all… it’s great quality.

Another great feature is its longevity. It is still as good now as it was when first bought that many years ago. It’s not one of those vibes you get so exited about that in a couple of uses has leaked battery acid all over you!! (That has happened!)

I think this is a great product for someone who wants simple, quick, easy clitoral pleasure. The head of it is beautifully tapered so that you can press with either the tip or the flat edge for varied sensations. Something you can whip out and every time it will perform as required.

Overall Rating: 7 out of 10 stars

Pros: Great to look at, great reliability.

Cons: Battery life not as good as some vibrators, not as good as silicone for internal.

Bottom Line: A really reliable and pretty vibrator, my old faithful!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @PleasantDisarray, 13 Mar 2015
Happy Rabbit 2 G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator

Fantastic site, amazing vibrator, but not for beginners

I have two things to note at the outset: first, I had a dispute with my local postal service over this package going missing, which is kind of my worst nightmare. Thankfully, the Lovehoney team were the most friendly, professional and helpful staff I have ever had pleasure dealing with throughout the dispute. I can’t recommend them enough; your trust and money is in great hands with them!

Second, this vibrator is definitely not one for beginners. I loved it; however, I’ve built up to a rabbit like this over about 3-4 rabbits of increasing firmness and power over a couple of years. I suspect if I had tried this as a newbie I would have found it uncomfortable/numbing. I would probably recommend something softer in material and power for your very first rabbit; for everyone else, though, this is a fantastic toy that has to be tried.

This is the most expensive single toy I’ve ever bought, having previously opted for the cheaper, plastic vibrators. At the outset, this looks like a high-quality, pretty toy, especially as far as rabbits go, which can tend to look a bit ungainly. It’s all smooth curves and velvety silicone, in a bright purple that could possibly be kitsch but for me somehow isn’t.

In terms of the actual use: amazing. To be honest, prior to trying this toy (and after about four years and a dozen toys I’ve owned before) I wasn’t even sure I had a G-spot. This proved me wrong! The shape of the head and its position relative to the ears was absolutely perfect for hitting everything at once. It’s not the best shape for in-out penetration, but you don’t need it with this.

The power was definitely on the higher side, and stopped just short of being numbing, but with the three different levels of power to choose from in both the ears and the shaft independently, it wasn’t too hard to find something that worked for me.

Between the position and the power - and I can’t believe I’m even admitting this on the internet - I’ve discovered that its possible to have orgasms that don’t have an end and just become the next level up of pleasure.

The only thing I would change about this toy is to have back/forward buttons for switching between the different patterns for the shaft instead of having to cycle right the way through absolutely everything just to drop from level 3 back down to level 2 of plain vibration.

In terms of the noise, I don’t know if “whisper quiet” is ever attainable, but it’s on the quiet end of the spectrum of toys I’ve owned, and I’m relatively comfortable using it when the housemate is around without feeling too self-conscious, which was definitely a problem with other rabbits in particular. For some level of comparison, I tend to put a fan on before I use it, being summer, and while it can be heard in a quiet room, the noise level blends in almost completely with the sound of the fan on its lower setting.

I can usually get about 4-5 sessions out of the battery before I have to recharge. This is the first toy I’ve owned without batteries and I’m loving the convenience of the USB charger.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: The shape, the power, the noise level, and a unique, never-ending orgasm.

Cons: Can’t switch backwards/forwards between patterns, you have to click through the whole lot.

Bottom Line: Fantastically designed, powerful toy, sold by a wonderful team.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Marchpane, 16 Mar 2015
Lovehoney Tease Me Red Bondage Tape

Delightfully Durable

Lovehoney Tease Me Bondage Tape has all the best traits of duct tape with none of the drawbacks - it sticks only to itself without adhesive, so you can wrap it around parts of the body with hair without the struggle to remove it without awkwardly waxing a strip of your leg.

For people who are allergic to standard adhesive glues used in tape, this is perfect. It also means you can tie someone to a polished wood or metal post without worrying about leaving gross residue everywhere. It’s also very easy to unstick from itself, so if something goes slightly wrong you can peel it pack and try again - though of course if there’s any danger at all, bust out your paramedic’s scissors and cut it off.

This tape is also pretty sturdy - you’re not going to break out of it just by wriggling! It’s sturdy enough not to tear on its own, but it is possible to cut it with your teeth (though it’s probably best not to mention this to your dentist!). You get enough of it in one roll to make a good few restraints, and as it’s reusable it should last a long time as long as you’re careful when re-rolling it.

It looks surprisingly innocent, but beware! It’s stronger than cheap handcuffs and it had a lot of psychological power when used right. In the right hands, be prepared for bundles of bondage fun!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The appearance, the strength, and the fact its reusable.

Cons: Nothing - it’s perfect!

Bottom Line: No BDSM toy box is complete without it.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Allurement, 20 Feb 2015
Lovehoney Flirty Pink Lace Boyshort

Lovehoney Flirty Pink Lace Boyshort

These boyshorts arrived packaged in a little clear cellophane baggy. Right away I could see the vibrant pink colour of the lingerie with the shimmery accents in the lace and couldn’t wait to try them on!

Upon opening my package and taking the lace boyshorts out, I was shocked at just how soft and light they are. Other lace boyshorts and French style knickers that I own are much rougher to the touch and don’t feel so light and ‘airy’. However, Lovehoney have outdone themselves with this luxurious and completely sexy piece of lingerie.

The boyshort itself (as with all Lovehoney lingerie that I have) is very stretchy and the size is very generous. It would more than likely fit someone who is a size or so bigger than stated. While saying this, though, the fabric does mould to your body shape, providing for a very ‘fitted’ look. The lace has a soft matte-like finish with accents of shimmery lace on the intricate flower design, giving the lingerie a beautiful depth in the pattern. Stitched in to the top of the centre seam at the back is the cute little Lovehoney logo tag.

Wearing this boyshort is SO comfortable while still giving that super sexy feel. The hot pink colour also adds to the stunning and seductive look of it once on.

This boyshort has very quickly become one of my favourite pieces as it not only provides me with a massive confidence boost in the bedroom due to the perfect fitting, luxurious feel and alluring look, but also is super comfortable and great to wear day to day while out and about.

I thoroughly recommend this boyshort. It is a brilliant addition to anybody’s underwear/lingerie drawer and gives that sexy feeling that we all crave. Fantastic piece!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Soft, lightweight material and the beautiful design.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: A fantastic piece that is super comfortable and gives that sexy feeling every time.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Animus, 10 Mar 2015
DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Collar

Definitely De Luxe

This collar looks, smells and feels the part, and then some.

I bought this together with matching DOMINIX Deluxe Wrist and Ankle Cuffs, all in black, and they look amazingly sexy, worn individually or together.

I very much appreciated the absolutely minimal transparent packaging. The collar lies flat in a sealed plastic envelope. I’m quite unlikely to keep original packaging anyway, and this is simply and efficiently protective.

As described this collar is clearly of the highest grade leather. It’s comprised of a softer leather on the inner side, and a thicker, harder leather on the outer, with padding sewn in-between. The outermost, buckle and D-ring layer, is as thick and attached by the five metal studs. The collar is well crafted, being both beautiful and practical.

I’d recommend some gentle working into shape to begin with and storing in position to ensure ease of use. Interpret that as you will.

I can see it would fit almost any size neck comfortably and securely. With a padded circumference of about 16 inches it could also serve above the knee, as a thigh restraint, whereas the ankle cuffs likely would not.

Some may consider an O-ring more aesthetically and/or symbolically appealing. A rotational O-ring could be more practical in some particular circumstances; this has never been a problem in my experience, and a D-ring doesn’t rattle. Some might prefer a lockable buckle. I’d prefer this.

I really cannot fault this item. It’s one of my favourite things!

To sum up: this is an attractive, sensual, well made piece of equipment.

Worth the money, especially as part of Lovehoney’s current 3 for £60 Luxury Bondage kit offer.

If cared for, it’ll serve and serve and serve. So will this.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: A well designed and manufactured robust, luxurious-feeling, eye-pleasing bit of kit.

Cons: Now I need to buy another one, for symmetry’s sake, to use as thigh restraints.

Bottom Line: Definitely a worthy kink investment.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @PussnBoots, 25 Mar 2015
Lovehoney Advanced Strap On Harness Kit with 7 Inch G-Spot Dildo

Keep calm and strap on

I have come to realise that when Lovehoney puts their name on a product then I can be confident the product will be very good quality. That is certainly the case with this strap-on harness kit.

The box is tastefully designed and well made and will serve as a good means of storing the kit in the future.

The harness is made from soft but strong material and is fully adjustable to fit a wide range of body sizes. The straps are fairly inconspicuous and do not cover-up too much of the wearer, so it is possible to still have fun when wearing the harness.

Attaching a dildo is very easy and a range of O-rings are provided. Once attached, a dildo is held in place very securely.

The dildo provided is really excellent. A perfect size and shape for all manner of activities and the material seems to be of very good quality. The dildo also has a suction base so it could be used on its own in a number of ways. The harness allows for any kind of dildo to be used. However, the one provided is particularly good. It is very smooth, slightly flexible and is easy to clean.

Some strap-on harness kits require specific dildos conforming to their own method of attachment, but this Lovehoney kit can accommodate any dildo, making it an open-ended strap-on system and worth every penny.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Well made, fully adjustable and complete with an excellent dildo.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: An affordable, flexible strap-on harness kit.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @alleyxandra, 27 Apr 2015
Tracey Cox Supersex Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator

Good Affordable Rabbit

I was sent the Tracey Cox Rabbit vibe for review.

I’ve reviewed a lot of high quality vibes on my site, but I’ve been trying to find some more affordable vibrators that are still decent quality.

My clit has become somewhat of a snob. I’m used to deep, rumbly vibrations, and I’m used to strength. I wasn’t sure how the Tracey Cox Supersex rabbit would match up.

The Supersex rabbit has two vibration speeds, and they’re both decently strong for your average user. It’s remarkably easy to operate and comfy to hold. There’s an on button that turns it on and off, then another button that you click through for the settings.

It starts on the low steady vibration, then up to the high steady vibration, then through the 5 patterns. Some of the patterns are both the clitoral arm and shaft, others alternate between the two. Patterns don’t do much for me, so I stick to the steady options.

I do find that I tend to accidentally press the buttons in use, which can be a bummer if I’m close to orgasm.

This rabbit is fairly darn quiet too. You shouldn’t be able to hear it from under a blanket, and definitely not through a door.

It isn’t the strongest vibrator by any means. The vibrations it provides are very buzzy, and yet it works surprisingly well.

If I were to hold the vibe in place, it wouldn’t do much for me. But with a small up-and-down jiggle, which gives some more stimulation alongside the vibrations, it’s a nice little rabbit.

With the jiggle, the ears rub my clitoral hood, and stimulate my G-spot more, and it all builds up to a great, satisfying orgasm.

I need a combination of both internal and external stimulation to orgasm, and rabbit vibes work awesomely for that. Most times I grab a clit vibe hoping that maybe this time I’ll be able to use it and come in five minutes; it never works out that way and I resign myself to having to grab a dildo.

This is a vibrator I would reach for if I want to masturbate but can’t really be bothered with the effort of thrusting a dildo and working on my clit. I stick it in, get all the stimulation I need, and can orgasm far faster, with far less effort.

The silicone is nice and silky soft, there’s no seams and feels really good against the skin. It doesn’t need much lube to get it nice and slippery for insertion.

It collects lint but it’s not one of those silicone you have to battle with to get it off. I just rubbed it on my cat, it picked up hairs, and I could easily wipe them off with my hand.

The clitoral arm is bendy, which means you can bend it to where you need it, within reason. The shaft itself is also fairly flexible. This means if you’re expecting very firm G-spot stimulation you won’t get it. The shaft will just bend away. You can still get G-spot and internal stimulation, but it’s not super hard or intense.

I can’t find anything that mentions whether it’s waterproof or not. (I think I lost the manual that came inside the box, so I can’t check. It’s usually something that would be mentioned though.) To be safe I’m assuming it’s not. This makes cleaning a more stressful experience, but it’s still fairly easy. Some soap and water on the shaft, and a rinse. If I want to clean the handle, I use a wash cloth.

I think the Supersex rabbit is most suitable for someone new to sex toys, who wants something easy and doesn’t need super powerful vibrations.

If you’re a lazy masturbator after a rabbit vibe, this one is a really good choice.

With Lovehoney’s return policy, and regular sales, you can’t go wrong!

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Easy to use, soft silicone, decent vibrations.

Cons: Not waterproof (I think), accidentally press buttons.

Bottom Line: Great beginners rabbit.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Boogaloo, 13 April 2015
Bondage Boutique Beginners Silicone Butterfly Riding Crop

A satisfying sting

My partner and I have dabbled in light BDSM for a while now, but as my masochistic desires have grown ever more insatiable, this seemed like the perfect beginners crop to take our spanking up a notch.

I eagerly tore into the discreet brown parcel to find my crop, and a few other Bondage Boutique items, sealed separately in plastic bags. There wasn’t really much packaging to speak of (or instructions for that matter), but it’s not really essential for a product like this. Although, it would have been nice to have some packaging to store the crop in.

The crop itself isn’t as long as others, measuring just under 17 inches, and feels very light in the hand. This means it’s great for taking on naughty weekends away, and is easier to store than some. I would have liked there to be more of a handle on it for easy grip, as currently the crop is just a stick with a butterfly on the end.

I went for the red option, and I’m so glad that I did. The colour is so rich and striking, I was excited just looking at it! The silicone feels silky smooth and good quality, so I couldn’t wait to relinquish control and hand it over to my OH.

Sufficiently restrained and blindfolded, my partner proceeded to caress my body from head to toe with the soft silicone tip. Those little wings may look innocent, but they awakened my dark side as they were dragged across my bare skin, occasionally giving little teasing taps. Already my nerve endings were alight with anticipation, so I couldn’t wait for the spanking to begin.

As I bent over in front of him, each and every ‘THWACK’ of the crop left my skin crawling with desire. “More! More!” I cried, “Hit me, one more time!”. At this point, I really wouldn’t have sounded out of place in a Britney Spears video, and I received more satisfying stings as punishment.

Don’t be fooled by the description - although this is a beginners toy, it certainly packs a punch! For us this is marvellous, but BDSM newbies may want to tread carefully with this crop.

The sharp sting soon turns into a warm afterglow, though, which spreads across the skin like melted butter and heightens the senses. This can lead to some extremely intense foreplay, and was the most erotic part of the experience for me. The handle is short enough that the crop can be used during some sex positions without getting in the way, so impact play isn’t just confined to foreplay.

I haven’t spanked my partner with this crop, but was surprised to see how much he enjoyed using this on me. With hand spanking I sometimes feel that he holds back, but with this crop in hand he was transformed from tender lover to ruthless Dom! He didn’t stop until my bum was suitably red, and covered with blushing butterfly imprints.

This crop has been a great addition to our BDSM play, and has helped both of us to emerge from our kinky shells! It’s a nice entry-level crop, with a satisfying sting and a non-intimidating appearance.

This has given us the confidence to progress on to leather spankers, although this one will be making a regular appearance in our bedroom for (hopefully) years to come!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Gorgeous colour, smooth silicone, leaves a beautiful sting!

Cons: Needs a better handle for easy grip.

Bottom Line: Perfect for sensory and impact play, would highly recommend!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @taylor-j-mace, 21 Apr 2015
Spareparts Hardwear Joque Strap-On Harness

A+ Harness

I have tried a wide-range of harnesses and this is definitely the best out there. Once adjusted to fit, it stays in the right place regardless what position you’re in - no need to pause the action when you bend over or stand up!

It is also incredibly adjustable in both the waist and the legs, meaning you can easily share it between two people with extremely different waist-lines. The thick waist-band makes it more comfortable, especially for larger people.

With the jock-strap style, you can put it on to top a partner or wear your packer and can still receive penetration in either hole without having to remove it.

Unfortunately, the O-ring isn’t interchangeable and thus while it fits a lot of dildos/packers, you cannot use it with some of the thicker toys.

If you’re looking for a good harness to wear under your clothes all day for a packer, this one may not be ideal as the top strap for this one is a little bit too bulky to be worn under most pairs of pants (I recommend looking into RodeoH harnesses if you want one for that purpose).

Overall, this is worth every penny and more. I’ve had mine for 3 years (and use it often) and it’s still in like-new condition.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: An amazingly adjustable harness, perfect fit for a wide-range of sizes.

Cons: A bit too bulky to wear under most pants.

Bottom Line: Best harness I’ve ever owned, by far.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @LadyS, 23 Apr 2015
Livia Corsetti Abra Honey Long Sleeve Crotchless Lace Bodystocking

So Sexy - Shame I’m So Pale

So first things first. If you have a nice tan, or naturally darker skin, this is going to look absolutely divine on you. If like me you are so pale you sparkle like the vampires in Twilight then be prepared it may not be the best colour match.

That said, a little bit of make up and a pair of killer heels and I’m almost certain any playmate wouldn’t be overly concerned by the colour, because quite honestly it’s a gorgeous bodystocking.

Now, I never normally discuss packaging in my reviews because I honestly think Lovehoney does a great job of sourcing items that are fairly well packaged. So I think good packaging is standard. However, this item warrants a mention on the packaging. It’s really very good and makes the item seem very luxurious. Wrapped in tissue paper, in a box, in a nice sleeve. It was quite a pleasure to open and unwrap. For the price this is way above what I would have expected.

I love the pattern on this bodystocking, and as with most bodystockings it has a good amount of stretch so this will fit a variety of sizes. I am 5ft10" and it fits me lovely, so a win for the taller ladies. Or maybe even a nice olive-skinned taller gentleman.

There is really nothing to fault about this bodystocking. It’s fab product at a great price and is definitely very, very sexy.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Fit, appearance, feel, packaging.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: Super sexy, fab fit, give it a go.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @WindyWendy, 25 May 2015
Tracey Cox Supersex Multispeed Vibrating Butt Plug

Very disabled-friendly

I saw this multispeed butt plug and, even though my hubby and I have never used a butt plug before, we thought we would give it a go.

The order arrived the next day when hubbie was at work. It came in a discreet parcel and I couldn’t wait to try it.

Being disabled I have problems with movement and weak grip in my hands, so I decided to experiment with this toy and found the shape so comfortable and easy to hold. And rather than using it for a butt plug, I can bring myself to orgasm for the first time in years as it was so easy to hold.

Finding sex toys if you or your partner are disabled is extremely hard, but thanks to this multi speed butt plug I can be satisfied like everyone else.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The shape and the fact it’s waterproof.

Cons: Maybe a slightly longer lead from the controller to the butt plug.

Bottom Line: Excellent toy for anal play, and even better for using if you’re disabled.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Shadow_Collector, 28 May 2015
Bondage Boutique Advanced Split Leather Paddle

Double Trouble

Whoever the sadistic genius who designed this may be, I would like to shake their hand. A well made, durable and (in my opinion) beautiful leather paddle with a twist.

Arrives with minimum packaging (a plastic bag), which is a bonus for any environmentalists like me out there. As soon as it was out, I was struck by how attractive it is. The trunk fits perfectly in your palm, and the wrist loop allows you the freedom to deliver a stinging slap without any risk of losing your grip. The slap is sharp and satisfying, and the split nature makes you feel like a larger surface area is affected than actually was.

The leather is top quality, with flawless stitching around all the edges and no loose threads whatsoever. There is a faint leathery aroma, but it is by no means overpowering, and if you’re looking at leather toys, I’m guessing that you probably find the scent an alluring feature.

All in all, a high quality paddle that delivers a satisfying spank on top of being bloody stunning!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Unusual design.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: Great Toy!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Secretty, 29 May 2015
Doc Johnson Bam Black Realistic Large Cock 10.5 Inch

What A Monster

I’ve had my eye on this beast since basically my first day on Lovehoney. I’ve always wanted to see exactly how much my OH would be able to take, so eventually I caved and decided to purchase this toy.

And, if you can’t tell by the measurements given, this thing is HUGE. When I first took it out of the box and showed it to my OH the first thing she said was, “That’s not off a human! That’s off a donkey!”.

And I kind of agree with her (not about the donkey part). I highly doubt that the original Bam had a penis this big. I have quite large hands and I can’t even wrap my fingers around it, and it’s just over ten inches long! It is a stunning creation though. Fantastically made from high quality, semi-realistic plastic that feels like it’ll last a life time. Only downside was a powerful chemical smell when it was first opened and for a week or so afterwards, but it has since started to dissipate. It’s got realistic veins and dents all over it that just makes it look amazing. I’ve stopped caring whether it’s actually made from the original Bam or not because this thing is so gorgeous looking.

It’s quite a heavy toy too, but not in a bad way! The weight of it makes it feel really girthy and sexy. I was worried that the suction cup wouldn’t be able to hold its weight, but amazingly it seems to be able to stick solidly to pretty much any flat surface! Even ones that my much smaller toys refuse to attach to.

It is definitely not a toy to be taken lightly though. My OH had never even seen anything this big so we made sure to take things slow, stopping when she said it started being uncomfortable, gradually having her take more and more over a few days. Two weeks later and she can now comfortably take the head, but the shaft thickens slightly further down and she can’t quite get past that bit. That’s not stopping her having enormous orgasms just from the head though.

As for less important things, the toy comes in a very nice box with a man I guess is Bam on it. Inside you will find a signed photograph of the same man (just a photocopy, not an original so you can’t flog it to make your money back) and a very nice satin bag for storing your toy in, which is a relief as it’d be almost impossible to find one big enough to keep him in! The downside is that Bam seems to pick up particles of the bag if you store him in it, so I’ve taken to wrapping him in a plastic bag before putting him in the satin one.

Think very carefully before buying this toy. It’s definitely not a beginner’s item. I am sure there’s some people that haven’t realised how big it is and found it too much when it arrived. I can not overstate how massive this thing is. Make sure you are either prepared to constantly try taking it over a number of weeks or you have experience with large toys before. Nothing worse than spending money on a product that’s too big for you to even try.

Assuming you meet one of those two categories, though, I can’t recommend this enough. It’s so well made and good looking that I am delighted just to own it, let alone play with it. It’s quite pricey, but feels like it should last a long time and will give you countless orgasms if you can take it. A truly top class item. Buy it!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Absolutely Everything. Truthfully!

Cons: There was a strong chemical smell to begin with that’s gone now.

Bottom Line: An absolute stunner! Just don’t underestimate it!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @luvluvva, 02 May 2015
Lovehoney Deluxe Black Magic Wand Vibrator

One toy to rule them all

Holy cow. Oh my god. This toy has changed my life. I bought this toy as part of the 3 for 75 offer, which makes it brilliant value. I had always thought of wands (and mains-powered toys in general) as a bit too industrial to be sexy, but trust me, you very quickly get past that!

This is a sturdy and built-to-last toy, which is essential as I use it almost daily. It’s definitely the most user-friendly toy I own, with the scroll wheel making it effortless to control even when you’re going it alone. It is noisy, but again, you get over that. You’ll want to tell everyone about this toy anyway, so who cares if your neighbours are the first to know?!

This is also a very versatile toy. Obviously it provides clitoral stimulation like no other, but also feels great when pressed close to your vagina (I swear I get g-spot pleasure from it just held there) or ass. I’ve also started using wand accessories recently, which just opens up a whole world of possibilities and definitely means this is the ONLY toy you need. And no joke, it actually is GREAT for sore back muscles! Like I said, this toy is so easy to use alone, but I prefer it when my partner uses it on me, which he loves nearly as much as I do!

Also, with the attachments available the guys can get use out of this toy too! My OH adores seeing me lose control, and I find I’ve had the longest orgasms when this toy is involved. It is just so damn good.

There are only 2 negatives (but they’re minor). One, the indentations on the head make cleaning a little difficult. Two, maybe I’ve over-used it, but I have found the scroll wheel is becoming a little less responsive. It still provides the full, teeth-chattering range of vibrations, but where before the tiniest twitch of a finger would gradually change the pace, I find now the transition can be a bit more sudden.

I cannot praise this toy highly enough. It has nearly put all my other toys into retirement. It’s priceless, and will take you to places beyond your wildest dreams!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything. The best toy in the world.

Cons: Not as easy to clean as I’d like. Also, it’s habit-forming.

Bottom Line: The only toy I need. Phenomenal.

[Ian_Chimp]

@summersun, 23 Jun 2015
Tantus Realdoe Wireless Strap On Double Dildo Vibrator 7 inch

Lesbian essential

I have had this toy for three years, so I know it very well and I have a lot to say about it.

My girlfriend was extremely sceptical about sex toys (let alone strap-ons) when we first got together, and it took some doing to convince her to try a Realdoe. The discreet packaging from Lovehoney was extremely important - I once ordered a dildo from another online store, and my girlfriend happened to be the one who answered the door to sign for the ‘package’. It was just wrapped in a bag, and it was extremely obvious what it was, to the postman’s obvious amusement. My girlfriend was humiliated. This is something you need never worry about with Lovehoney - the packaging isn’t only discreet, but the return label leaves the contents a complete mystery. This is enough to keep me faithfully sticking with Lovehoney - I don’t need my girlfriend to be mad at me!

When we first received this toy, the cheap bullet vibrator in the Realdoe was weak and immediately broke. This was extremely frustrating, because this is such an expensive toy for our limited budget. However, we didn’t want to return our exciting new toy, and we kept it anyway. A bullet vibrator is relatively inexpensive and easy to replace. If I were to offer feedback directly to the manufacturers of the Feeldoe/Realdoe toys, I would tell them to invest in higher-quality bullets. So be prepared for this, and don’t be too frustrated if your bullet breaks. However, the bullet is not really what you’re buying this toy for, is it?

Honestly, even with the broken bullet, this is the best toy I have ever used. I really like sex toys, and I have high standards, so it is not often I would rate a toy a 10 out of 10. This toy gets a 10 out of 10. This is my ‘desert island’ toy. The realdoe is absolutely gorgeous. When you take it out of the packaging, it is a thick cock with a bulb at the top - it looks a bit obscene, but also strangely alluring, even though I am a lesbian. Even my shy girlfriend held it in her hand and immediately wanted to play with it. I don’t normally like ‘realistic’ toys, and my girlfriend used to hate them, but this toy converted us.

The cock is extremely realistic and erotic without being over the top or disturbing. This toy taught me a whole new way of enjoying lesbian sex. You put the bulb inside of your body, and you basically look exactly like you have a cock. If you want to enjoy jerking yourself off, or having someone else jerk you off, the motion of jerking the cock off is actually extremely powerful, because the bulb moves inside your body. It isn’t enough to get me off by itself, but it is extremely delicious and a tantalising and enjoyable prelude to intercourse. If you like the image of your girlfriend giving you a blowjob, or if you want to try giving a blow job, this is a great toy for gender play and role playing - something I wasn’t even into before I got this toy! But if you’re not into that, don’t feel it’s required - how you play is up to you.

There is a bit of a learning curve if you want to penetrate someone with this toy. I have had it for a while, and it is one of my favouritism things to do to wear this toy, hold my girlfriend down, and make her eyes roll back in her head. I feel like at this point I am the Realdoe expert. When I slip it in, I feel incredibly confident and I know exactly how to please my partner. However, I had to get used to how this toy works. When we first got it, if we were too excited, it would start to slip out of our vaginas - we both had this problem. If you’re too wet, it’s wont to slip out at first, before you know what you are doing. It wasn’t strong vaginal muscles that fixed this problem, but learning our way around the toy, and learning which positions worked. Don’t worry that your Kegel muscles are too weak - it’s all about position, position, position.

If you wear the toy and keep your legs together, you can penetrate your partner missionary-style. As you get used to the toy, you won’t need to consciously think about how your legs and your body are moving anymore, and you can find yourself trying different positions and new things every time you have sex with this. However, there are other, better positions than missionary for you to try right when you get this toy - my favourite is bending her legs back with my hands, so her knees are by her ears, and leaning into her to penetrate her. You can kiss her in this position, but it’s also an extremely dominant position, if that’s what you like. If you want deep penetration and to take someone’s breath away, that’s the position you want.

I don’t mean to be too crude - this toy is also wonderful for being able to have face-to-face, slow, intense, sweet intercourse… some of my most tender and breathtaking moments have been while using this toy. It’s also great for going rough and fast. It is so great having your hands free, but still having the toy inside of both of you. It’s an intense pleasure to have someone use the toy on you - I am crazy about it, and it literally makes me gasp when my partner slides herself into me - but I have also had orgasms from using it to penetrate my partner.

And that was without using the vibrator at all. I can’t believe it is possible for us to have mutual orgasms from intercourse, as two women. This didn’t happen the first time we used it, though, so don’t set your expectations this high right away - like I said, there’s a learning curve. There are little (soft) ridges on the toy where the clit of the wearer is, and the toy is moving inside of you when you are using it to penetrate your partner.

I can’t even put into words how hot it is - I have had experiences ranging from so sweet, intense and tender that both of us cried during, to experiences so hot that we both had to high-five after we were finished! This toy makes you feel that you’re having the most natural sex possible, and it makes me so happy to be a lesbian. I love that I can enjoy oral sex as a woman, and then role-play with my cock. I love that I can be completely overwhelmed by my partner penetrating me, and then when I can move my legs again and my knees are not so shaky, I can return the favour.

I have to emphasise that, when we first got the toy, we were not sure it was going to work for us. We struggled to use it without a harness, and we were a bit lost when trying to work out sex positions. It took a while to figure out what worked for us. However, I am so happy that we stuck with this toy, because it’s just spectacular. We have moved homes many times for career reasons, and each time, we tend to throw away cheaper or mediocre sex toys.

However, we would never, ever throw away the Realdoe. If you are worried that your toy is going to slip out and you’re nervous about stability, try the Rodeoh harness - that might keep you from getting distracted during, until you know your way around the toy a bit better.

Compared to the Feeldoe, which is a bit more rigid, the pure, medical-grade silicone of the Realdoe has an extremely soft texture. It does not collect lint or fluff the way some other silicone toys do. It is extremely high quality and safe - you can boil this toy, or put it in the dishwasher (remove your bullet first!) - it is easy to sterilise, so you can use it with multiple partners or take turns using it, with no worries about health and safety. You can’t do that with a jelly toy.

My partner is extremely small-framed, and we were worried this toy would be too much for her to take. We went extremely slowly in the beginning. However, it ended up being absolutely perfect - thick and long enough to be a really powerful, overwhelming toy, but not so thick that it hurts or it’s uncomfortable.

Whenever I hang out with other lesbians or bisexuals, I recommend this toy above all others.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The sex I have had with this toy is genuinely mind-blowing.

Cons: I didn’t like that the bullet vibrator immediately broke.

Bottom Line: This is my favourite toy.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Miss_Pixie_Coco, 28 Jun 2015
Cupid’s Itty Bitty Beginner’s Butt Plug

How could you not love this little thing?

Whilst this is not a ‘one man band’ sex toy, with a little help from a partner, another toy or yourself, this butt plug makes a great first time anal toy, which will give great results.

The shape of the plug means once in, it will stay in place until you want to take it out. It will not stay in if you jump about, but as a beginners toy, it eases you into anal play (excuse the pun) very nicely.

It is not a large toy and if you enjoy it, I am sure you will move on to bigger better things very quickly. Treat this toy as a stepping-stone in the world of anal sex toys. It will lead you to the next step!

It has a ring on the end that makes it very easy to remove, so all you beginners out there, this is perfect for you to try as a first time plug!

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: The shape and ease of use.

Cons: It soon becomes too ‘beginner’.

Bottom Line: It is a perfect beginners plug for people just starting out in anal play.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Sexy_Name, 22 Jun 2015
Tantus Silk Large 6 Inch Silicone Dildo

The best thing to put in your bum

I am getting quite experienced with anal sex toys, and I would say the Tantus Silk dildos are the best that you can find for pleasurable and comfortable anal play.

The best features of this dildo are its shape and its material. In terms of material, the silicone of the Silk range is quite unique (even among other Tantus dildos) because it has a glossy and very smooth surface.

This makes the dildo much easier to insert and move in and out (with lube of course), and I can feel that there’s less drag compared to other silicone toys. Additionally, the smooth surface makes this dildo easier to clean.

I have seen a difference with other silicone toys: the Silk range dildos tend to remain cleaner and are much better if you want to absolutely remove any last trace of odour after use.

More specifically to the Silk Large, I absolutely love its shape and its size. The girth is perfect for me. It feels big and satisfying, but without being excessively large. It’s that perfect spot where I feel penetrated, but not stretched (that I would not enjoy). I would consider myself “intermediate” at anal play, and I can take this dildo easily.

However, it is not for anal beginners, so if you’re reading this and you don’t have much experience, I suggest you to try the Silk Small or Medium first. I still use the Medium one regularly, especially for pegging if I don’t feel too relaxed or I’d like my partner to go a bit more rough.

The Large one is great for solo play, and I love its size when I’m in the right mood. I also use it for pegging and it feels amazing; you have the feeling of being taken and it’s very arousing. This dildo is great to use in a harness, and it’s firm enough for this purpose.

You need to make sure you have good communication with your partner, though, because this dildo can be a lot to take. I love its length because it allows for more positions, but I always tend to actually insert only about half. During pegging I tell my partner to not go all the way in, so don’t feel that you have to take all of it.

This dildo is slightly bigger at the top, and I find this subtle detail to be very pleasurable. It contributes in giving a sensation of fullness and pressure against the prostate, without stretching the sphincter too much. I love that this dildo is smooth; it allows for a better in and out movement.

In my view, there’s a better prostate stimulation when the dildo is smooth and you can do a stronger/faster thrusting motion, as opposed to a dildo with ridges that would be more uncomfortable to move. I know here is a matter of opinion, but I definitely prefer the more comfortable stimulation of a smooth dildo.

There are a couple of things that could be improved. First, this dildo has a little bit of suction, but I found it’s not enough to stick it to the shower floor and have some hands-free fun. I understand this dildo is primarily designed for a harness, but I’ve seen other dildos with a clever suction that are suitable for both.

Second, I don’t like the Tantus logo carved at the base of the dildo. It is an overly elaborate logo that doesn’t come up well when moulded in silicone and just leaves some crevices that, considering the hygiene concerns of this type of product, you really wouldn’t want to have.

I wish they would either go for a simple logo like Lovehoney’s, or refrain from putting the logo on their products, like I’ve seen other expensive brands do.

These 2 flaws would normally knock a star down from the final rating, but I’m so pleased with the material and the perfect shape of this dildo that I’m happy to give 5 stars anyway. I definitely recommend this product.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Great material, perfect shape and size.

Cons: No proper suction, and the carved logo.

Bottom Line: Great dildo for anal play, very satisfying and not too extreme.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @popk1n, 21 Jun 2015
Seven Til Midnight Eye Catching Satin and Lace Garter Belt

No other item like this on this website

I don’t know about you, but I love the look of a suspender belt! I don’t know how an extra piece of fabric in the stomach/hip area can actually add to your sex appeal, but it sure does. This was my first item I chose to try and get in on the action.

It arrived in a clear plastic bag and I’ve got to say I expected a little bit more, but whatever, it’s only packaging. As long as it arrives in one piece you can’t really complain.

On first impressions I actually thought the belt looked a little unfinished - the lace just kind of looked like it was frayed out without being sewn properly and I felt a bit miffed for the price. However, I was wrong and actually the finish on the lace looks racier a bit more frayed out. I really like the combination of fabrics too - there is no other suspender belt on this website quite like this, combining sultry lace and luxurious satin. It is the pinnacle of alluring lingerie.

My absolute favourite aspect of this, though, is the shaping. I don’t quite know why, but it gives your bottom the most fabulous face lift! The way it has been cut to curve around your rear and the suspender straps make your bottom look so perky and round, and I love looking back in the mirror as I do a little catwalk sashay whilst feeling pretty hot haha.

Practicality-wise, the hook and eye is super duper easy to do and the suspender hooks are relatively okay too. I was a novice when I first got it, and am still by no means an expert, but over time I’ve got the knack, and they are sturdy and hold well. The adjustable straps make this a bit easier too.

My only issue with this is the sizing. I bought the S/M (8-10) but am kind of between a 6-8, so it was obviously going to be a risk. I definitely think it is more towards a 10. It is a little big on me, so I cannot comment on if it holds up all day or whatever. For me, it is a case of the stockings holding the belt up! For this reason, I only wear it for the bedroom or for show when the stockings hold up fine, but I want the extra sex appeal.

Personally, I suspect this isnt the best belt you could buy for everyday wear, but for the occasional bedroom “wow” moment this is pretty much ideal!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Combination of materials, rounded shape gives me a perky bum.

Cons: I’m a size 6 - I wish they did a smaller size.

Bottom Line: You will look phenomenal.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Clockwork_Oasis, 31 Jul 2015
Tracey Cox Supersex USB Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator

Yes, yes, yes (an ode)

My girlfriend said: my darling,

this black thing caught my eyes

and now I can’t stop wishing

for its buzz between my thighs

The trend of rabbit sex-toys

was never one for me

I bought and tried a few ones

- as dull as they could be.

“Okay,” I said, “let’s do it!”

And what a great surprise!

This rabbit is - in actual fact

a devil in disguise!

An easy toy to operate

one button - off or on

one button - just for buzzing modes

they’re sure to make you come!

The softest black material,

it charges in a flash,

its patterns aren’t annoying

and it fits an XL lass

Vibrations - strong and sturdy,

and have a single guess,

what have I done since this one came?

- The same! Yes, yes, yes, YES!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything - great material, easy to operate, strong vibrations!

Cons: Being able to turn off one of the vibrations would be nice, but not important!

Bottom Line: Great enough to make me rhyme!