Review Hall of Fame

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Violetwolf, 25 May 2016
Lovehoney Fantasy Plus Size Naughty Nurse Costume

Let me check your vitals

…Because this outfit will have pulses racing and temperatures soaring!

I absolutely adore this outfit. It is the first roleplay costume I have bought since putting on weight and it is exactly what I needed to unlock my confidence!

The set includes the zip-front dress, elasticated belt, and hairband, which I feel is good value for money, and it doesn’t feel cheap either. The smooth material has a good amount of stretch in it, and the fit is amazing - especially considering I am such an awkward shape and somewhere between a size 18 and 22!

I really love the red trim detailing, as this gives a slimming effect as well as adding a little extra to the design. The belt again has a favourable stretch to it, and is absolutely my favourite part of the whole ensemble. It is eye-catching, slimming, and sends my ego through the roof as I feel like God’s gift to all mankind.

The headband offsets the costume well, and along with the belt (which is a slide and interlock fastening), gives a more old school matron feel. The easy-in-easy-out zips give this outfit a boost in the sexy stakes, as they can travel both ways - want to show a little more breastage? No problem. A little more fuzz? Sure. Both? Absolutely, because what’s more appealing than a little tease? Delightfully practical. Speaking of practical, it washes well too!

My partner was thrilled to see me in this as it ticks the boxes for some of his fantasies and I could not have been more obliging! Teamed with some red hold ups, just as in the picture, the look was complete and I was smouldering. Everything about it is flattering for a fuller figure like mine, and for £24.99 I absolutely recommend this as a staple to any lady’s costume collection.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The belt - simple but effective for figure enhancement.

Cons: No cons, it is absolutely spot on.

Bottom Line: Buy it, do it now, you won’t regret it ladies!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Kurosaki-Kun, 13 May 2016
Lovehoney Oh! Vibrating Love Ring

One ring to rule them all…

We bought these rings a while ago and used one straight away. When I popped it out of its foil wrapper, I was instantly surprised by how soft and stretchy the material is that the ring is made of. I have had vibrating cock rings that are made of awful material that barely stretches, but these bad boys are a different breed. You can just pull at both sides and open it up as big as you need (obviously around 6 inches!). Even if you just roll it down the shaft it’ll go on nice and easy, they snap back into shape no bother and if put on while you’re stood to attention, they will give you a boner boost! All good news!

Anyhow, onto the main job at hand. The vibrations! Once you’ve turned the dial at the side up to full (as everyone will do at first) the vibrations will impress you. When going on full you can literally feel the vibrations up and down the length of you penis, it’s better than I expected by a country mile!

The ring itself has some well-placed nodules on the front of the part which holds the bullet, which obviously are for clitoral stimulation and as they vibrate so well, during sex you may be held ‘in’ a lot, I certainly was to maximise the contact between cock ring and clit! No complaints from me. My partner could not complain at the buzz these rings can put out.

The rings also have a pair of wings and a tail of sorts which add extra stimulation points but for us we did not notice them as the vibrations were strong enough to kind of overpower other small sensations! With other cock rings, you get used to the gentle buzz they make but these rings keep your attention for a long time!

Talking about a long time, we have been known to have used one out of the packet for a good 45 minutes to an hour then clean it ready for another use. Which it has obliged! Impressive battery life indeed!

All in all, if you’re looking for a vibrating cock ring you cannot go wrong for the price and you get two!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Brilliant battery life, strong vibrations and good material build.

Cons: Disposable! Battery replacement would have been amazing!

Bottom Line: Definitely the best cock rings I have ever worn.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @anon47583778, 13 May 2016
Fifty Shades of Grey Tighten and Tense Silicone Jiggle Balls

Great for a second timer

After only using the BASICS Jiggle Balls over the last few months, I decided it was time to invest in another pair. I wanted a pair that were made from silicone, were slightly heavier and featured a retrieval cord. I found a few pairs that fit my requirements, but it came down this pair and the Lelo Luna beads in the end, with this pair winning. They were a few pounds cheaper and fit in with my plans to buy a few other items from the Fifty Shades range. If I wish to go heavier in the future, I’ll probably look at Lovehoney’s 90g balls. For now, though, 70g is more than enough for me.

The Tighten and Tense Jiggle Balls arrived quickly and discreetly as expected, in lovely, sleek packaging. A simple, classic and understated box with a picture of the product and the name on the front. The back read some information about the product, instructions for use and cleaning directions. Inside the outer box, was a shiny foil packet containing the jiggle balls. I do wish a storage pouch had been included as it would have been handy to store them in and protect them for gathering so much lint.

Upon removing them from the packaging, I noticed that they seemed to have much more movement going on than the BASICS pair does. The movement from that pair was tickle-like and minimal, but the internal weights inside this pair felt like they roamed much more and I was looking forward to seeing if this was as noticeable in use. You can hear the weights moving around outside of the body, but only if you are holding them yourself. I had no concerns that they would be noisy once inserted.

I feel this pair is so much sleeker than the BASICS, which probably has a lot to do with the material. The silicone is very silky and smooth to the touch, it feels of great quality and surprisingly doesn’t have much drag to it. It still requires lubricant, but not as much as I’d anticipated. I thought the retrieval cord felt sturdy, even though it’s fairly stretchy and flexible, so had no worries that it would snap during use. I’ve used these balls many times since this and still have no concerns about build quality. I also noted this pair didn’t have any meaningless indents on the balls that attract fluids and make cleaning difficult, so there were really no flaws with the design that I could find.

I found these jiggle balls easy to insert with a touch of water-based lubricant applied to myself and them. Inserting one ball at a time is the best way to go and being relaxed is key to getting them into the correct and comfortable position. I found they insert quickly with minimal pressure and I am able to naturally clench around them, keeping them in position.

The removal cord then hangs loose, making for a smooth and fast removal once you’re finished. I tend to wear these for 15-20 minutes per day and after a while of doing this, I can forget they’re there until the roaming weights start to wander. They seem to move the most when leaning forward or walking up or down the stairs and they do provide some very gentle, subtle stimulation.

If you know what to expect from jiggle balls and aren’t expecting orgasms, you might get on well with these, as they are comfortable to insert, wear and remove. They would be suitable for beginners as they don’t have too much weight to them, but there’s still enough that you can still feel them whilst they’re inserted. If you’re used to jiggle balls, then you’ll probably require something heavier, but for a second-timer like myself, they are perfect.

I use jiggle balls for subtle stimulation rather than toning purposes, as I’m still toned down there and child-free and these work perfectly for my situation. I may invest in something heavier in the future, but for now, these do the trick.

Overall Rating: 7 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything!

Cons: I’d have liked a storage pouch.

Bottom Line: A great pair of jiggle balls.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Shadow_Collector, 04 Jun 2016
Bondage Boutique Advanced Rattan Cane

Cane you believe it?

This beautifully simple cane was the toy that took my S&M playtime from lukewarm to Jalapeño Hot. Every detail, from the flawlessly smooth plastic coating to the springy and unforgiving rattan shaft works seamlessly together to deliver delicious agony with minimum effort. It has made me smile, it has made me cry, and having owned mine now for a good long while, I see next to no signs of deterioration. If you want a more detailed review, please keep reading. However, if you just want the summary here it is: If you like pain, you will love the Bondage Boutique Extreme Wrapped Rattan Cane.

When it arrived the packaging consisted of nothing more than a plastic bag and the bondage boutique label, both easily removed and minimal. Once these unnecessary things are torn off you really get the chance to appreciate the quality in front of you. The cane is incredibly flexible and light, and the first time you flick it and hear it tear though the air… it’s an indescribable rush. Before I had even used it I knew this toy could be deadly. The outer lining of the rattan cane is completely unblemished plastic that looks beautiful and feels cool and heavenly against your hand.

When that very same lining is applied to your back at high velocity, it’s still heavenly… in a very different way. With the slightest flick of the wrist you can administer incredibly harsh punishment. My partner and I started light and the pain was incredibly bearable, but as we slowly upped the tempo it wasn’t long until I was in tears. I used my safeword fairly quickly after that.

We worked on it over a few months and now I am able to handle it a lot better, but if my other half is in a particularly sadistic mood they can still usually have me using the safeword in less than a minute. Just knowing this, knowing that my partner has this much power at their fingertips is a huge turn-on for me, even before you factor in the lasting stinging and welts. Long story short, this thing hurts. A lot. This is not a toy for beginners, not for people who have just started experimenting with S&M in their relationships. Only go for this if you know that pain is what you want.

It’s left me with some beautiful marks in the past - everything from striped welts that fade in a few minutes to bruises that have lasted days. Nothing quite beats the feeling of catching your reflection as you start getting ready for a shower, seeing the bruise and smiling in memory of how you got it.

The cane has had fairly regular use for several months now, has resided under beds, in cupboards and thrown in to corners. In all this time I’ve only noticed the tiniest marks of wear. It’s held up incredibly well and has proven a worthy investment. If this ever broke I would not look around the market for one cheaper, I would come straight back here and rebuy because I know that with this cane you get quality, and that’s just about the best praise a coupon-hunting girl can give. So to all you scrumptious sadists and magnificent masochists out there, I say buy this cane and thank me later!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Sex appeal… on a stick!

Cons: That I waited so long before bringing it into my life…

Bottom Line: Do it… you won’t regret it!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Dinky-Pop, 23 Jun 2016
Lovehoney BASICS Vibrating Mega Ring

Nothing Basic about the Lovehoney BASICS Vibrating Mega Ring

I decided to buy my partner a little treat,

As recently he’d been rather sweet.

He had used cock rings before,

So he would enjoy this, I was sure.

I was excited when this came,

It made expensive ones look tame.

When he came home that night,

I knew my choice was right.

When I showed him he was as happy as me,

Dinner that Night was not to be.

Upon opening this was soft to touch,

For a BASICS product it was deluxe.

Just with the flick of a switch,

This made my partner twitch.

Putting this on was no fuss,

Simpler than getting the bus.

Intercourse or solo too,

This is the ring for you.

Mega vibrations all the way,

This ring is great is all we have to say.

We certainly had a great night,

With lots of orgasms in sight.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The vibrations certainly were great, This soon became my partner’s best mate.

Cons: The battery ran out too fast, And made this a thing of the past.

Bottom Line: It certainly packs a punch, For less than the price of lunch.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @hiskitten, 19 Jun 2016
Lovehoney Locakable Sex Toy Case Medium

Perfect For Ease of Mind and Simple Storage

It’s not exactly fun living with a group of nosy people that think you’re just an innocent Vanilla Bean of a person, and having hidden sex toys and assorted accompanying paraphernalia can cause a little stress. This box gave me the perfect hiding and storage spot to keep my fun away from prying eyes, and keep it all safe, clean, and ready for next time.

I’ve had a few worries trying to keep certain toys apart because I know of wear and damage that can be caused when materials are close, but that was made a simple non issue by using a few clean socks to keep everything separated.

The case feels nice to touch, and it looks gorgeous. The material is lavish and solid, so it’s impossible to tell what might be inside (unless the embossed Lovehoney logo gives it away, but anyone recognizing that can’t exactly judge). However, the coating is soft and easily damaged - though that doesn’t take away from its task. Inside, the mesh pockets and elastic partings keep all of your toys in place, even when you open the case, and the sturdy but flexible build of it allows for a lot of cramming.

The lock is easy to figure out and comes with simple to follow instructions. However, it’s flimsy and wouldn’t be hard to break if someone really wanted to get passed it. It also sticks a tad, but it’s perfectly capable of doing the job unless you need absolute security.

In hindsight, I wish I had gone for the bigger case, because I plan on extending my collection significantly, but this one is perfect for me for now, and it’s perfect for discreet travel.

In all honesty, I wasn’t 100% happy with this case, but I think that may have been because I read a lot of reviews that hyped it up more than it could meet up to in reality. However, I would still recommend it to anyone wanting to store or hideaway their toys. The case itself is strong and reliable, the lock is easily replaceable, and the look is attractive but unassuming, making for discretion, and easy storage.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Does what it needs to and looks good doing it.

Cons: Lock could be much improved, personally don’t really like the embossed logo.

Bottom Line: Storage and security, disguised as sexy and sleek. It’s still just a box, though…

[Ian_Chimp]

by @HappilyExperimenting, Jun 2016
Kix’ies Thigh Highs Plus Size Fishnet Hold Ups

Hold ups that really do hold up!

Ever since discovering stockings and hold-ups, I’ve always been on the hunt for that perfect pair. A pair that actually stay put, all day, no slipping or rolling down my chunky thighs. And now ladies and gents, we’ve found them! Please give a warm welcome to… drum roll inserted here Kixies! applause, cheering, wolf whistles

These sexy hold-ups may be a shock for the price of one pair, when you can get stockings and hold-ups for as little as three quid nowadays, but for good reason. In fact, many good reasons.

The Fit:

I have chunky thighs that give me chub rub in the summer and I’m a happily curvy size sixteen lady. I’ve measured my thighs in the name of science and they’re a solid 29 inches around each. Measuring up to the Kixies chart I decided to go for size D. I am five foot six… And a half. These are the perfect fit. I can pull them right up to the top of legs, just under my buttocks, or leave them clinging to just above my knees. Either way, they sit comfortably and I don’t have any overspill of thigh. They look beautiful. I believe that anyone up to a size twenty could try them. It totally depends on the size of your thighs, if you’re unsure, I’d still buy them and try anyway! You could take advantage of Lovehoney’s fantastic returns policy if they don’t quite fit.

Appearance:

These fishnet hold-ups are beautiful, the netting on the legs isn’t so wide I look like a big fat fish caught in a net, but they’re not too small and you can definitely tell that they are fishnets from across the room. My OH loves fishnet lingerie and couldn’t keep his hands off these bad boys. The material is strong and it hasn’t snagged or ripped under our hands… Yet. I must also mention the bands at the top of the hold-ups! They’re unlike anything I’ve ever seen before and give that extra edge of class and elegance to an otherwise normal fishnet pair of hold-ups.

Quality:

These hold-ups are fab. I’ve hand-washed them ever so carefully in my kitchen sink and left them to air dry, avoiding the sticky silicone bands at the top. I tried not to get them wet and they’ve turned out as good as new. As said before, the fishnet is strong and durable, surviving sex, rolling around, crawling about… And also whilst never falling down! Seriously, these fishnet hold-ups really do hold up under pressure. They don’t slide about or even roll down during more vigorous activities and I love that!

I have a feeling that these will be lasting me a long time and I love the way they make me feel and look. There is something very stylish and classy about these and I love to pair them with everything, they really sex up an outfit. Since purchasing these I’ve bought every other pair available on the Lovehoney website before they decide to discontinue these. These Kixies don’t get enough attention and they really are the queen of all hold-ups. Buy them, you’ll never go back to those cheaper ones again!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: They stay up! Also, the fishnet, quality, packaging is nice, the stripes at the top.

Cons: Not applicable here!

Bottom Line: Gorgeous. Beautiful. You need these.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @crazy couple, 04 Jul 2016
Lovehoney Mega Mighty 3 Extra Inches Penis Extender

Worth every penny

I primarily started research for something that would ‘desensitize’ me, allowing me to go for much longer with my OH, and it was then I stumbled on the whole ‘cock sleeve’ market.

Straight away further thoughts passed through my mind - the extra length and girth, as well as the ability to try positions that my current 6" would not allow us to try with any degree of success. I also considered the psychological issues as well (the positives and the negatives). From my point of view, what if the OH loved it so much, would it mean I have been inadequate for all the years before? From her point of view, would she a) want to try (I had not told her), b) be able to take it, and c) would she be able to tell me if it was good, for fear of hurting my feelings?

I also ordered lube and a blindfold, as I was going to surprise her, but the more I thought about it, the more I concluded that something like this was best talked about first. Her initial reaction was yeah let’s go for it. Then it dawned on her the possible hurt to my feelings and she then back tracked a little.

I explained I did not want this as a permanent addition to our love life, merely an occasional addition for both of our pleasures. She took this on board and we both could not wait for the parcel to arrive!

The parcel arrived discreetly packaged and we opened it up with eagerness. We were going to try it that night, but of course the OH wanted to see it on, so we got down to business!

I had read most of the reviews of Three Extra Inches Penis Extender Sleeve as this was the item that had the most reviews (nearly all positive). The one criticism of that product was the tightness of the ball loop. This item must be made of a different material, because this one will stretch bigger than a tennis ball, so with a little lube, there is no problem getting them through. I went for the clear version BTW.

I followed the guide of plenty of lube (on me and inside the sleeve), squeezed the air out and let it suck me in. I have to say, it felt pretty bloody impressive holding this in my hand and there is no doubt from the guy’s angle it makes you feel like a well hung porn star! It felt very comfortable and a few strokes confirmed that it does feel less sensitive than just my hand, which was the goal.

The OH took one look, looked at me and I could tell she could not wait for that night and wanted it there and then!

We lubed up and started with missionary, albeit it with me more upright, so I could ease it in and check on how much was in, in case of any discomfort.

Plenty of lube allowed me to slip in about 6", and it took a few minutes for her to get used to the extra girth, but then she asked for the rest… and oh boy did she love it!

Her eyes rolled and she let out moans like I have never heard before. She came several times, both in missionary and doggy style. She found cowgirl a little painful though.

Contrary to other reviews, I did manage to cum in the sleeve, although I was in total control. I could have come whenever I wanted, although I would need to go quite hard and fast to achieve this.

We played with this toy several times over the weekend and every time was mind-blowing for her and me, as well as much longer than before.

Quite pleasantly the OH asked for ‘just me’ on Sunday evening, and the sex then was just as good as always, so we both know there are no issues or hang ups about the new ‘addition’ to our love life!

I would say to anyone try this, but talk it through first so as to cover off any issues that either of you may have. If you are both happy after that, go for it!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The obvious extra length and girth, but also the ability to go for longer.

Cons: No complaints so far!

Bottom Line: A fantastic addition to our bedroom.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Luv_bunny, 25 Jul 2016
Tracey Cox Supersex Glass Butt Plug Set

More glass to shake my ass at

I bought the set when it was in the Deal of the Day, and of the glass plugs I own so far, these are probably my favourites due to their shape and size.

Before use, I’d douche to clean myself in preparation.

The two plugs come boxed in the black and pink Tracey Cox packaging, nestled in a plastic tray which keeps them safe. Also included are two black velvet drawstring bags; useful for storing glass toys, though I’ve decided to keep mine boxed to keep them better protected and to distinguish them from my other glass items.

To warm up (literally) I started with the clear beaded glass plug. I had pre-heated it in warm water, as I am not a fan of cold glass. The beads felt very pleasant gliding in my anus, liberally lubed up to help the process. The plug is quite short, so it may not be long enough to stimulate all my erogenous spots back there. Teamed with my Tracey Cox wand for clitoral stimulation, I was able to achieve a lovely undulating orgasm, enhanced by the anal play. When lubed up, this plug does get quite awkward to hold without it sliding out of your grip. It also slides out of my butt quite easily too, so you can’t really use it hands-free.

I found the black glass prober with finger loop to be the main star of this box set, as it is curved so can reach more nerve endings which would make it good for both females (stimulating the back vaginal wall) and males (for prostate). This piece of glass was also pre-warmed and is so much easier to manipulate with the finger loop. Again teamed with clitoral stimulation, I was orbited into a state of bliss with this sleek black beauty.

A great set to use if you like anal play and are keen on trying glass for hot or cold sensations. It’s not intimidating size-wise so would also be good for those who are new to anal play, or new to anal play using rigid plugs.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Good quality glass, nicely packaged. The black prober is my preferred of the two.

Cons: The clear beaded glass is too short, and won’t stay in without holding it.

Bottom Line: A nice set for those looking to venture into anal play.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Hugby1, 25 Jul 2016
Tease by Lovehoney Riding Crop

Naughty and Nice

My girlfriend and I are in our early twenties; we have always enjoyed rough sex, and have been looking for something to up the ante a bit. If this sounds familiar, look no further!

The parcel arrived promptly from Lovehoney, packaged discreetly as ever. The business end of the crop is in the shape of a heart, which makes it a bit less intimidating if you’re new to bondage play, as we are. One side is slightly padded and covered in soft satin, the other is faux leather - a naughty and nice side if you will!

The stitching is good quality, and the upright section is tightly wrapped in a soft, rope-like material - both easy on the skin and robust at the same time. The crop has a firm spring to it. The handle is excellent - slightly rubberised and well made. I’m not expecting this to break down anytime soon, thats for sure! The wrist handle, made from faux leather, is a bit redundant if you ask me, but you could argue it adds to the appearance?

As for usage, this product excels. I wouldn’t have wanted anything cheaper - I can imagine they would be more flimsy than this. The soft side delivers a satisfying ‘thwack’, with no real pain, but the faux leather side is a completely different story! It delivers a deliciously sharp shock which sent a shockwave of goosebumps all over! You can be as hard or firm as you like - the spring to the crop helps with that - a soft rap on the cheek, or a naughty crack on the bum if you’re feeling in the mood! The little red heart print that results is cute too.

Overall I am really, very pleased with this toy. Some sex toys can be somewhat underwhelming, but this is completely different. It does exactly what it says on the tin, with a good build quality and a luxury feel. You can really use it in any situation - we ended up chasing each other around the house with it anyway - so it’s not even limited just to sex!

If you’re tempted, just do it!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Two different sides, heart shape, the sound it makes.

Cons: Nothing!

Bottom Line: Well built, easy to use and approach.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Bex1213, 07 Jul 2016
Womanizer W100 USB Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator

Sensations of mythic proportions

It’s hard to write a review about a product that is so totally unique and unlike any other toy I have ever experienced. Is it the most powerfully vibrating toy on the market? No. Is it the prettiest toy out there? No. Does it simulate oral sex? No. Does any of this matter? Absolutely not! I can honestly say I have never tried anything so mind-blowingly good since I first discovered the vibrator.

The packaging is fantastic. Mine came in a pretty box and upon opening it I discovered that the product has a pink zip case with storage space for the toy, extra head attachments, and the USB charger. As the nozzle (for lack of a better term) is removable, cleaning is super easy. Everything has been planned for and taken care of.

Now, I’m just going to come out and say it, this is an absolutely bizarre looking toy. Ear-thermometer is the right description and it’s also just not very elegant. I had a hard time choosing my design because none of them were particularly appealing. With the giant gem stone in the middle I feel like this was designed for the bling obsessed pre-teen in me rather than the sophisticated woman I like to think I am today. In the end, I went for the red rose and it looks exactly the same as its picture. No false advertising at the very least.

I was surprised at the size of the Womanizer if I’m honest. It’s quite heavy and while it easily fits in your hand, it isn’t a small toy. I was concerned that the hollow tip (for the sucking sensation) would be too large for my small clitoris, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I tried the tip on my finger first, just to judge what I was getting myself into before taking the plunge, something I seriously recommend to anyone using this for the first time.

It seemed a little wimpy but I was not deterred. In less than 2 seconds I’d managed to hit the jackpot and in under a minute I had achieved what I can only describe as a miraculous orgasm. The Heavens parted and I’m pretty sure I saw God. You will need to ‘spread’ a little, but apart from that I doubt anyone would have problems locating the right spot. It is unlike any sensation I have ever experienced. The entire clitoris is enveloped with the vibrations and the sucking holds you firmly in place even while you wriggle around in pleasure.

Did I mention that this was only on the first setting? Yeah. It’s that good, and I have a magic wand sitting in my drawer!

I originally bought this thinking it would simulate the sucking in oral sex, which is my favourite. However, no person alive can do anything like this toy. It is a totally new feeling and can’t be compared to anything else.

There are a few issues with the Womanizer W100, however. Beyond the slightly tacky look, it is perhaps the noisiest toy I own. It’s like a loud, deep rumbling, which can be a little off-putting.

Also, when I orgasm, I need the speed to go way down ASAP which is why I prefer a dial to a button. However, the buttons are easy to find and if you press the power button, it will return to the lowest speed from whatever power you were on previously. You just have to find the little bugger mid-orgasm.

When I called it a miracle, I really wasn’t using hyperbole. If you are a woman that craves direct clitoral stimulation, this is unbeatable and totally unique. Save up and buy one. It is 100% worth the investment!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The orgasm is incredible! Easy to use and store. Fantastic all round.

Cons: Perhaps a bit tacky and very loud.

Bottom Line: Best new toy I’ve had in while. Like discovering my clitoris again!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @SomersetBiGuy, 09 Aug 2016
Lovehoney BASICS Penis Pump

Add some weight to your member!

I was slightly cynical at first, being such a low price. But let me reassure you, this little device that resembles a Dalek really works! (No, I’m not being paid to say it either!)

As per usual, excellent discreet delivery by LH. I couldn’t wait to get the device out of the packet.

Make sure you put a thin layer of lube around the base of the tube. Oh, and having a shaven pubic area really helps with no pulling hairs and creating a good suction.

It’s also a great help by lubing up the whole of your willy, as I found that when it was enlarging inside of the tube it would catch on the nodules.

Anyway, once inside the tube, you give a couple of squeezes of the pump and you instantly feel and see your member growing, and grow some more! I’ve discovered that doing 4 lots at 15 minutes each time works well, on a daily basis. It’s really addictive.

The first day, I felt like a porn star! I could feel the difference immediately, felt lovely and weighty, and you could see the difference too. Absolutely amazed!

I’ve been using this for about a week now. Not every day though. I think it’s a wise idea to give your chap a rest.

Whilst I’m not seeing the immediate results when using it now, I am absolutely certain it’s making a permanent difference. I could definitely see the change in girth, even after not using it for a couple of days.

Keep with it. It’s making a difference so far!

One final word of advice. I found it quite easy to fill the tube, especially with girth, so make sure you measure up before buying! I think I’ll be upgrading to a bigger size soon.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Really simple to use. You see instant results.

Cons: Nothing! For the price, it’s brilliant.

Bottom Line: Definitely worth a buy if you’re just starting out.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Americangeishagirl, 02 Aug 2016
Lovehoney Venus Butterfly 10 Function Hands-Free Vibrator

Holy Wow

A little about me: I’m a single 28 year old female who, unfortunately, does not have access to a physical relationship, and I was looking for something hands free that could really knock my socks off (as it’s been almost a year since the last time I had sex, and I’m starved, lol). and boy, did this little beauty do just that!!

First, I love how cute the butterfly looks with the rainbow sparkles and pink - cute and girly, and I felt sexy and naughty just wearing it! Someone else in the reviews mentioned wearing this kind of like a thong, and I find that makes the straps easier to use. But they seem to be sturdy straps.

After I put my little butterfly on, I decided to give it go. I was standing when I first turned it on, and let me tell you - this thing knocked me to the floor! Seriously, I was not expecting the strength of the vibrations, it actually forced me to me knees in a giggle fit, lol. I decided to start off on a lower setting before cranking things up. It hit all the right spots, leaving my hands free to roam. My heart was racing and my head was spinning - I was able to not only get one powerful orgasm, but it was my first ever hands-free orgasm! I’d never been able to achieve that with my hands completely free - it gave the feeling of someone else doing all the work!

This little vibe was more powerful than I had anticipated. In fact, it was so powerful it took my body almost an hour to recover from ONE orgasm, lol (I’m really sensitive, so that may have something to do with it).

One thing though - it does make a little noise. Not incredibly noisy, but probably slightly too noisy to wear on the go in public.

This toy is very budget friendly and was worth every penny! I can’t wait to use it again!

If you’re not sure whether or not to get this, trust me, get this. You won’t be disappointed! I think this would be fun with a partner, too!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Hands-free, powerful vibrations, easy to use, cute and girly.

Cons: Slightly noisy vibration.

Bottom Line: 5 stars all the way! My new favorite toy!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Kittie616, 12 Aug 2016
Lovehoney Lifelike Silicone 8 Inch Pink Dildo with Suction Cup

Left me breathless

When I saw the Lovehoney Lifelike 8 Inch Pink Dildo with Suction Cup online I was initially sceptical.

I feared the size would be too much, and having only owned vibratory before didn’t see the appeal of dome thing that didn’t buzz.

I decided to to get it as part of a deal after my fiancé told me about his interest in seeing me use one, especially as it could be hands free. I added it into my basket and continued my shop.

It arrived quickly and discreetly packaged as always with Lovehoney. I opened it up straight away. Excited to look at the new toys (four items in all). I quickly found the dildo, simple but nice packaging, box and plastic as you’d expect.

The toy itself looked exactly as it appears on the site, beautifully detailed with views and realistic features, balls and all. The feel of it to your skin is silky with a lot of sensation. The key thing being the size, which was definitely scary at first for me never having used something this big before.

The first time we tried it I gave my partner control and let him play as he wished, but a lack of pre-play and lube led to it being put aside and us moving to another of our new collection.

I decided I needed to try it again solo, and during an evening when my fell asleep watching TV mischievous feelings arose. I snuck myself off to the bedroom and examined my choices, and spotting the Lovehoney Lifelike 8 Inch Pink Dildo with Suction Cup decided it was time for round 2. I built myself up a little first using the Power Play vibrator I bought as well, getting myself nice and ready.

I applied a generous amount of lube, focusing on the ridges around the head that had given me some discomfort the first time and opted to kneel over the toy and lower myself on instead on the previous occasion spent on my back. As I slipped it in I found it felt so much better this time and moved myself up and down its large length, the girth filling me but not overstretching. After I finished (which did not take long at all!) I was left catching my breath. It truly felt realistic.

This is now truly one of my favorite toys and has made me leave an I.O.U. for a performance with it for my partner.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Great length and girth. Realistic look and feel. Pretty colour.

Cons: Ridge near head caused some discomfort during removal, extra lube solved it.

Bottom Line: Great toy, great price, just remember lots of lube!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Wizbit, 04 Aug 2016
Lovehoney G-Spot Pleaser Magic Wand Attachment

Everyone loves Gonzo

Firstly I have to say that I agree with others when they say this looks like Gonzo’s nose. Don’t be put off by that, because this little attachment knows a trick or two!

First impressions out of the box were mixed. The material does attract dust and all sorts, so cleaning before is a must. I’m storing it in the box it came in until I can find a more permanent solution. The material is silky smooth and easy to clean despite its attractiveness to dust. On the whole I was impressed when I first saw it. It was bigger and heavier than anticipated, and the vibrations really did travel all the way up, maintaining their strength.

I’ve always had trouble locating and stimulating my G-spot, but this little thing had no issues at all! It was the most powerful orgasm I’ve had alone. What I really liked was the fact I could still rub my clit with the base of the attachment that was connected to the wand. I found the extra stimulation really helped!

It was easy to clean afterwards. On the whole, a low maintenance toy attachment that provide a whole lot of joy!

If any of my friends had a wand I would definitely recommend this attachment. I was looking to buy the rabbit attachment first, but upon comparing reviews I decided to try this one. Boy was I glad I did!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Weight, girth, length, easy to clean.

Cons: Attracts dust.

Bottom Line: Everyone needs one pronto!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @anon47583778, 09 Sep 2016
Lovehoney Tempt Me Dot Mesh Crotchless Suspender Knicker

If you’re tempted, definitely get these

I am continually impressed with the designs flying out from Lovehoney lingerie and in my opinion, the ranges are getting better each and every time. I lusted after this line from the second I spotted these knickers and I knew it would be another range I had to buy everything from. I purchased the knickers, matching bra and chemise set after noticing the range was sadly being discontinued not long after its arrival and I’d recommend doing the same if you don’t want to miss out!

The knickers arrived quickly along with the other items I’d ordered, in the usual Lovehoney style of a simple plastic packet with tag attached. It’s not exciting packaging by any means, but their lingerie speaks for itself and tearing the packaging open to get to it is a given. I would suggest wrapping the set up first if you’re planning on purchasing this for your partner as I’m sure the effort will be appreciated.

As I removed the knickers from the packaging, I instantly fell in love with the colouring. I am not usually one for pink underwear, but I do like shades of wine/raspberry and this one is absolutely perfect. I must give credit to the design team at Lovehoney because the detailing on these knickers is fantastic. There’s the traditional Lovehoney heart charm in gold in the centre of the waistband, which contrasts perfectly with the shade of pink. The back features gorgeous criss-cross lace-up detailing, which truly takes these knickers go from nice to wow.

They are fantastically made, as per all Lovehoney underwear, with not a scrap of material out-of-place. The lace wasn’t frayed in the slightest and it felt nice to the touch, albeit slightly rougher than the lace used in the Love Me line. It seemed to be high quality and it didn’t feel itchy or irritating when it made contact with my skin. These knickers have been put together perfectly and have managed to maintain the high standards I’m used to from Lovehoney’s lingerie lines.

I am a size four to six on the bottom but usually find the small (6-8) in Lovehoney sizing fits well, although slightly loose at times. These knickers fit me absolutely perfectly and have plenty of stretch in them to accommodate a curvy size eight/small ten. I love these because they’re not as low-rise as some of the other knickers Lovehoney have introduced recently, although the criss-cross detailing does make it feel like they sit slightly lower in the back.

I think they sit fabulously on my frame and are some of the most flattering knickers that I’ve ever worn. They really shape my derrière and draw all the attention away from other areas that I’m insecure about such as my upper thighs. They’re also surprisingly comfortable. I was half expecting to not want to wear these for long periods of time and thought the straps around the crotch would be irritating, but they are in fact the opposite. These are some of the comfiest bedroom knickers that I’ve ever worn and I definitely won’t be in a rush to take them off.

They are crotchless, so can be kept on during sex thanks to the easy access and I was pleased to find that this feature isn’t obvious from the front, as this will be a surprise to my partner once he gets to see these on. The open crotch sits nicely on my body and isn’t too wide that it becomes tacky but it’s also not too small that it’s useless.

I’m quite short at 5ft, so I expected the suspenders to be too long for me even when they were fully adjusted, but this wasn’t the case. I can actually attach stockings to these knickers rather than having to remove them and resort to hold-ups, which is a lovely change. I like that the feedback from us shorties seems to have paid off as the last two pairs of suspender knickers I’ve ordered from the own brand ranges have both been able to do this.

Overall, I really like these knickers. I can’t find anything to dislike as everything from the design to build quality and fit is absolutely perfect. They look fantastic paired with the matching bra or babydoll. I would highly recommend them.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything!

Cons: N/A

Bottom Line: Wonderful knickers. Definitely worth getting whilst you still can.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Happy-Submissive, 05 Sep 2016
Lovehoney Deluxe Black Magic Wand Vibrator

Holy Mother of all Orgasms

So my OH has wanted one of these for a while - being the Dom he is, he thought it’d be a fun way to incorporate ‘forced’ and/or (more intense) squirting orgasms into play. I wanted one too, but I must admit they always seemed a bit daunting. It arrived while I was out, but I am told the packaging was standard discreet Lovehoney packaging, and it arrived in good time.

He sent me a photo of the wand next to his hand to give me an idea of size (I thought he’d bought one of the mini ones!), and it looked quite bulky. Although it is really big, it feels reall sturdy and well-made. The ball is so smooth and soft, and despite the size it is easy to hold. The on/off switch does look a little, teeny bit cheap (kind of like those silver-painted toys you get as a kid, the ones where the silver chips off to show the dark grey plastic underneath), but I think it is just in looks - no chipping so far! The cord is a good length - long enough to plug in to an extension lead on the floor and then use the wand on the other side of the room. Depending on how you hold the wand the cord can get a little in the way - trial and error!

Well, we got it out for use for the first time yesterday. The night before he’d plugged it in and put the ball on my hand so I could get an idea of the power of the vibrations, and that alone had me so exited! Even on my palm I could tell that it would feel amazing. The first time we used it during play he was the one holding it. Water-based lube was applied to the ball (I think it was the Lubido brand - I would recommend this!) and to me, to avoid any uncomfortable rubbing. I would recommend doing this, even if you are quite wet down there anyway, as it prevents rubbing and (for me, at least) heightens the sensations.

It is a little bigger than any other vibe I’ve used, and can get a little heavy if you’re just holding it with one hand for an extended period of time. The body of the wand also heats up quite quickly. Not like burning hot, but warm enough to notice. In this case, we switched it off for a few minutes, and it cooled down.

The vibrations start as soon as you switch it on, and the initial slow speed feels really nice, especially as just a teasing touch. Its also quite a nice speed as a massaging wand on your back. Just a hint. The use of the wheel to increase the vibrations is a great idea as it’s smoother and easier than having to press a button several thousand times, something that seems to require a lot of effort in the heat of the moment. No, this is easy. I would say however, the fact that its is just the one wheel and a smooth increase means it can take a while to get used to the increase. It was quite easy to increase it too much, or reduce the vibrations too much during play - you have to take a few moments to learn the variations in tempo.

If the slowest vibrations were good for teasing, the strongest ones - holy crap! I have never felt anything like it. Ever. I was orgasming in seconds. Combined with g-spot stimulation, I have never squirted so much. I must say, though, even with the lube, when we were finished I was quite swollen down there, although this went away within 10 minutes or so. It wasn’t painful, but it was a little off-putting.

Sound-wise, it was suprisingly quiet for such a large toy. It wasn’t silent, and it’s not something I’d use with someone else in the house, but it was a lot quieter than I expected. We used some vibe cleansing wipes afterwards to clean it off. This was okay, but the rings around the ball do make it a little harder to clean than normal. You have to really get in the ridges.

All in all, it is a great toy, totally worth ever penny (especially as you don’t have to keep buying batteries for it!). The pros definitely out-weigh the cons. 10/10

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Very strong vibrations, easy to use.

Cons: A little bulky, heats up quickly.

Bottom Line: Best. Orgasm. Ever.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Jonnyboy, 18 Sep 2016
Lovehoney Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator

(Almost) makes him surplus to requirements

My wife and I were never really into using toys, and we had owned the same bullet vibrator for years.

But after the battery compartment started to fall off our old toy and having used up enough batteries to power one of those newfangled electric cars, we decided that we should upgrade.

We looked at various products and although the Desire was fairly new on the market (at that time) we were immediately attracted by the positive feedback of the new device and also felt safe with the knowledge of Lovehoney’s no-quibble guarantee - and hey, we were being green and trying to reduce our carbon footprint!

After the devices initial charge of a couple of hours, we played with the toy and if anything she originally found the device a little TOO powerful, but that was probably due to our previous old toy having lost all its “horsepower”, but after a few sessions of play and slowly getting used to the intensity controls it is now something she loves being used on her.

Although the vibe has a variety of patterns, we prefer to just use the intensity controls and it has never failed to hit the spot [literally].

The device is fairly quiet, even on its maximum setting, although I can’t necessarily say the same about the volume of noise that my wife produces!

It really does the trick and certainly brings her to an enormous orgasm, but my wife still does need me, but mostly just to turn it off when she’s spent!

After we got rid of the delivery packaging, the device can be stored and charged in a nice, black, tasteful box, with a small hole where the cable can be inserted into the box, and ultimately into the device. This means that the vibe can be left out, charging on the bedside table without raising any eyebrows, and therefore it’s always ready for action…

I’ve tried to think of some negative comments for this review, to try and give some balance, but it’s really difficult because of the clear amount of care Lovehoney has taken to create such a fabulous product and also the huge amount of pleasure it has given my wife, and therefore me.

I haven’t been paid for this review, I just really think this product is ace and I sincerely and heartily recommend this product.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Long battery life has never let her down.

Cons: Nothing, really nothing.

Bottom Line: Screamingly good fun.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Jezebella, 06 Sep 2016
Lovehoney Oh! Sensual Body Massager

My favourite purchase

This beautiful little hand held massager is, by far, the best item I have ever purchased from Lovehoney. It has kindled more romance, encouraged a closer relationship with my partner and given more joy than anything else in my box of tricks.

This massager is a true couple’s toy. It makes you slow down and worship your lover’s body. You can deliver sensual and long massages without your hands getting tired, drawing out the pleasure for your partner. Watching someone you love relax under your hands is a truly wonderful experience.

The massager is made of solid plastic with a curved handle and 4 solid balls. I recommend covering your partner’s body in a sensual massage oil with your hands before using the massager. Once they are oiled up and ready, run the massager up and down their back and shoulders, asking them where feels good and if you need to apply more or less pressure. When you are comfortable with the back you can also use it on the legs, arms and neck. It feels absolutely wonderful and is the closest to feeling hands on you as you can get.

You also don’t need to worry about your technique being bad as the massager ensures it will be good. All you need to do is make sure the skin is nice and oiled, apply the right amount of pressure and listen to feedback. However, I recommend using hands intermittently with the massager to keep you feeling close and connected with your partner.

I cannot recommend this product enough! A good massage is a romantic experience we all deserve, and this little beauty takes away the work of a massage whilst improving the technique.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Easy to use, feels great.

Cons: Nothing!

Bottom Line: The perfect romantic item for any couple.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Greenwine, 29 Oct 2016
Happy Rabbit 2 G-Spot USB Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator

This vibe promises a lot - and over-delivers!

First off, the dull but still important bit - the packaging is plain brown cardboard so no worries there, but the actual box the vibe comes in leaves you in no doubt as to the contents so you may want to open this away from the kids.

The USB charger lead is pretty short, so to get this tucked away while charging it isn’t all that straightforward. You can leave it in the very handy black velvet bag that’s supplied with it, but a longer lead would be really helpful.

So, on to the good bits. Sometimes you want your toy to look like a cock, and sometimes you want something a bit more fun. This is definitely the latter, and it’s a great, vibrant purple to boot. The base is flared and it makes it very, very easy to get a good grip at the moment where you really, really want to have a good grip!

The switches are easy to use, even mid-fun, and it all seems to be pretty waterproof despite no such claims. As to the pulse patterns - good fun and each effective in its own way but as often seems to be the case with toys like this, you find a favourite and go with it - again and again.

And again, and again, because this little friend keeps on delivering the goods. The shaft is full without being too thick, long without probing where you don’t want it, the head curves where you DO want it, and the rabbit ears are long and just the right balance between stiff and bendy (just like the rest of the shaft).

The ears are also long enough to turn the vibe through 180 degrees and have them tickle your bum. Get this right while your partner is paying some attention to your clit, and you’ll be scraping yourself off the ceiling. My heart is racing at the memory!

Downsides? Hard to identify any.The weight is good and if you do play with the vibe patterns, that means you can hold it comfortably for an extended time. The charge easily lasts 40 minutes. The charging time doesn’t seem too bad either, a couple of hours for a full charge. Noise-wise, get it under the duvet and nobody will be any the wiser - it’s genuinely very quiet, a major, major plus for us. Playing with it as described above will have you making an awful lot more noise than the vibe does!

And as also mentioned, the vibe comes with a black velvet drawstring bag so keeping it discreet isn’t too difficult.

For us, it’s one of the best toys we’ve bought this year. It just keeps on giving.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Powerful vibes, whisper-quiet, thundering orgasms.

Cons: We haven’t come up with a negative yet.

Bottom Line: My current best friend!