Review Hall of Fame

[Ian_Chimp]

by @captainmeow, 29 Oct 2016
Lovehoney Silencer Whisper Quiet Classic Vibrator

Huge bang for your buck!

This toy was sitting in my wishlist and my shopping basket alternately since I decided to try vibrators, but the sheer size of this thing kept making me take it out of the basket! When I received a £20 off £50 offer from Lovehoney, I decided to take the plunge.

First impressions:

It arrived just when I expected it to in a plain brown box with no indication of its contents. When I got it out of its box, it looked even larger in my hand than I had expected it to be! It’s certainly the largest toy I’ve ever owned (have to admit, I’m quite easily intimidated by large toys!). It’s a pleasant light pink colour, not garish or overly girly and is 8 inches in length, so it’s got both good girth and length. It felt nice to hold - the plastic was quite smooth to the touch while still being quite rigid, and it has a good weight to it. The wavy rippled appearance of the shaft got me quite excited - it looked like it would feel amazing internally, if I could get it in! There was also a small, concise instruction manual in the box, but I personally prefer watching the product videos that Lovehoney publishes. All in all, it came across as a well-made quality product at first glance.

Use:

This vibrator runs on 2xC batteries which are not included in the order, so be sure to add them to your Lovehoney basket, or pick them up elsewhere! They’re very easy to find and inexpensive. I like to try my toys out as soon as they arrive, so if you’re anything like me you’d want to have them at the ready. Once you’ve got your batteries, unscrew the base, pop them in, screw it back on and you’re ready to rumble (pun totally intended). This vibrator is really easy to use: the base is a dial, so simply twist it to turn it on and adjust the speed. I liked the twist dial as I didn’t have to fiddle with buttons or cycle through multiple speeds to get what I wanted. There are also no patterns to faff about with, just good ol’ vibrations.

At this point I should mention that my preference is for strong rumbly vibrations, so if that’s what you like, read on! This toy is certainly very powerful - the moment I turned it on in my hand, it tried to jump right off! The size definitely helped keep a hold on it, especially when my hand is all slippery with lube.

I put a good amount of water-based lube on it and started off by using this on the clitoral area at it’s lowest speed. I liked the vibrations! They’re quite rumbly and pleasant, and the lowest speed is a good starting speed - not too intense and not too weak for me. For more pinpoint vibrations, I held it at a right angle to my body so that the rounded tip rested on me. It was a bit awkward to hold it that way though, and definitely isn’t the best if using like this with a partner.

I slowly worked my way through the speeds and it felt incredible! Every increment left me wanting more, until I reached the maximum setting. The vibrations became decidedly buzzy, which my body doesn’t enjoy. It is, however, so powerful that it is a good way to end the session after building it up. This is also where the twist base shines: I could work all the way up there, use the max speed for a while, then turn it back down easily before my clitoris became numb.

Noise-wise, it is not the quietest toy I’ve had, but it’s definitely silent for its power! Even then, I could not hear this on its highest speed from the room next door - just keep your room door closed and throw a duvet on if you’re worried about sound. I’d definitely be confident using this in a shared flat, but not in a shared room.

I was worried that I might accidentally unscrew the battery compartment while playing with the speeds, but am happy to report that it has not happened. The vibrations did travel up to my hand, but the length meant that my hand did not go numb holding it.

Unfortunately, despite my best attempts, I simply could not get this inserted vaginally. It did provide a nice pressure and stretch at the opening, and that along with the vibrations were a lovely sensation. I do struggle to orgasm and this toy did not bring me there, but I particularly enjoy using it with a bullet for more coverage. I’m sure with enough patience, I’d be able to experiment with internal use, but unfortunately I got this in a 2 for £25 bundle and the other toy needs to be returned, so this is going back to Lovehoney too. Would certainly keep it if I could!

Summary:

This is definitely a toy I’d recommend: it’s reasonably priced, feels well made, and is just an all round enjoyable piece of work for fun times alone or with a partner!

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Twist base, (mostly) rumbly vibrations, quiet, waterproof, nice material.

Cons: Buzzy at the highest speed.

Bottom Line: Certainly one for the toy box!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Jezebella, 04 Oct 2016
Tracey Cox Supersex Supertight Stroker Clear

A great upgrade

I’m Jezebella’s male partner (Jezebella didn’t sprout a penis overnight), writing a review of a toy she bought for me.

This was my second stroker from Tracey Cox. I already had the pink Supersex Stroker and was pretty happy with it but wanted to try a new one. The Supertight Stroker is £6 more, but I think it’s well worth the extra money for a better quality toy.

The Supertight Stroker feels incredibly durable. The material is quite thick but still very flexible and with plenty of squish to it, so I imagine this toy will last a long time.

The toy has a spotted texture along the sides and ends on the outside for increased friction, which makes it easier to grip if you’ve got really lubey hands. It also has weird handle things which I personally find pretty pointless because it’s already pretty easy to grip.

Inside is tapered where the opening is around twice the size of the end with ribs running along the inside. Although the ribs aren’t as pronounced as my previous stroker, the design of the Supertight Stroker leads to a slightly slower, more sustained build-up and more intense climax. Clean up can be a little tricky since the lube can get stuck in some of the ribs where it’s difficult to reach, so it’s not as easy to clean as a reversible toy, but I’d happily trade a bit more time cleaning for a more intense orgasm.

Another great thing about this stroker is, because it’s tighter at the top, it stimulates the head of the penis better and I don’t have to move it in large strokes to get an intense sensation. So if you want a really tighter feel you can push it down from the top rather than gripping the sides. If you are holding it from the sides you don’t get as much stimulation on the head of the penis, which is what this toy excels at.

It’s clear so you can see your penis through it, which makes my partner enjoy using it on me more than opaque toys, because she likes to see what’s going on.

There are only a couple of downsides to this stroker. The first is that it’s open top, which means that, although the toy is easier to clean, it takes a bit of forethought when using not to wind up with a mess.

The other downside to the Supertight Stroker is that its prone to making squelching noises, which I don’t think is particularly off-putting, but some people might find it distracting (especially if you’re using the toy with a partner whose sensitive to those kinds of noises or who might burst out into a giggling fit).

Overall it’s a great stroker; it’s durable, feels great, and it’s a big improvement on the more basic strokers. I’d definitely recommend people try it!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Good sensations, slower build-up to a more intense climax.

Cons: Tricky to clean, squelching noises.

Bottom Line: A great improvement over more basic strokers.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Eggnog, 18 Oct 2016
Icicles No 48 Glass Butt Plug with Flower Base

Pretty pink plug packs a punch

Many moons ago I bought my first butt plug from a high street. I had this romantic idea of wearing a plug out and about all day for a little buzz, but since I was an absolute anal newbie I opted for a small, cheap silicone one to start off with. Mistake. It was rubbish and it was so small that it fell out very easily. So I gave up on my anal adventures for a while.

But then on all the kinky blogs I follow this little gem kept popping up in the bums of pretty women. I was always so jealous when it would pop up on my timeline. I had to own one for myself! So a couple of weeks ago, when ordering a present for my boyfriend, I caved. I couldn’t resist. It was everything I could dream of! Made of glass, created by Icicles, featuring flowers and pink.

So, the boring standard stuff I must put in all reviews. This package came discreetly, plain box with your address and LH Trading. Perfect in a flat full of snoopy flatmates. As always with Icicles the packaging was beautiful. If you’re into having your toys on display you get a lovely box with a viewing window! Sadly I am trying to hoard less so I forced myself to throw it out.

I am such an Icicles megafan so I would have nothing but good things to say about how wonderful the quality of this plug is! It is beautiful to look at and the pink is the perfect shade, not too dark and not too light.

As a bum novice, I had to lube this guy up pretty intensely and give my clit a bit of love to “loosen me up” if you will. But once it was in it was joyous. The bulb is the perfect size! It doesn’t fall out at all when you walk. I had a glorious walk round town with my boyfriend before surprising him in the bedroom later with a cheeky wee pink flower just visible between my cheeks.

It is always worth mentioning with glass toys that you must recognise there is no movement that you would usually get with silicone, which can be (and was for me) an issue with sitting if you go down at the wrong angle. So lower yourself gently. Also, whilst I have never tried it, I love that there is the option of temperature play. You can heat this baby up or cool it down in the fridge for a whole new sensation!

Overall I think this little thing is a joy. Glass items, especially Icicles ones, always seem a bit pricy, but I assure you they’re worth it! Be you newbie or old hand, this plug is the perfect size to stay in but not feel too invasive.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: It’s pretty as all hell and it stays in no matter what.

Cons: No movement because it’s glass ,but to be honest it’s no big deal.

Bottom Line: Perfect for newbies but still amazing for all anal adventurers.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @laluz, 01 Nov 2016
Tracey Cox Supersex Orgasm Gel

Best way to get physically aroused

I just received this recently and was overly anxious to try it.

This was a part of my order. I just added to my cart out of curiosity and to meet the free shipment requirement mostly.

I have experience with Lovehoney’s own Bliss Orgasm Balm, which I find to be quite amazing when used in moderation. I’ve used one arousal gel, though it didn’t impress me much and didn’t last but a minute or so. It’s actually a variety Lovehoney sells, more expensive than this variety, but I’ll withhold the name and focus on this brand.

I love the Tracey Cox signature packaging art. It’s somewhat discreet and very classy. A nice shift away from the more raunchy sex toy/product packaging. Nice pump-action bottle, which is easier to control than squeeze bottles or cap screw bottles. Though honestly, I think the pump will give you more than you need, but that’s just me.

I pumped some out and the product was clear, just like water-based lubricant. I noticed the smell, and this has a scent of something herbal-like. Not off putting or offensive, probably from the herbal ingredients present that cause this to work. It’s not bad at all. Can’t comment on the taste because I only use this solo and I don’t feel the need to know what it tastes like.

The consistency of the gel is not much more different than your average lube. More on the gel side than some of the runnier lube, though not too thick and really easy to spread all over where you need it. I only really use arousal formulas on the clitoris, so I applied some.

Since the gel is water-based and the female genitals are more or less hydro-moisture based, I was expecting some of the gel to get “lost” or drip off or whatever, but I find I had no such problem and all of it was applied where it needed. The effects started almost immediately.

A nice delicate tingly effect that develops into something less delicate to nice and warm or cool depending on how you interpret the sensations. It was lovely, though the first time I tried this wasn’t accompanied by masturbation as I was going out and just wanted to see how long this would last. It did last quite awhile.

I managed to apply this, leave the house, run to a drive-thru for a smoothie, then drive across town and I was still feeling the lingering effects. It was swell and was quite similar to the Lovehoney bliss balm. So between the two, it just depends on whether you want something water-based (this Tracey Cox gel) or something oil-based (Lovehoney’s bliss balm).

They are both fine options. I bet the bliss balm will last longer given it’s a small tin of concentrated balm, and you’re less likely to use up too much of that than you are this, though this is easier to apply and leaves no kind of residue to be washed off or wiped away.

I recommend this orgasm gel to spice up your sex life, whether it’s with foreplay with a partner or if you are simply pleasuring yourself. It’s a good price and, if used properly, should last quite a while since, like I said, you don’t really need a full pump of this stuff. I read some people are using this as a lubricant, which is an option and expands the potential of this product, though I can’t comment on it as I haven’t tried that.

But it’s a viable possibility, if you don’t see yourself only using this for masturbation. I’m not sure of the effect of this product on males, but I’m sure if this were applied to sensitive male areas such as the frenulum, it would provide a lovely effect.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: It does work in physically arousing you, nice texture, great value and packaging.

Cons: The pump should maybe be more concentrated/shorter so too much isn’t used.

Bottom Line: Best arousal gel I’ve tried. Will definitely buy more as needed. Enhances solo sessions.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Cupcake22, 02 Nov 2016
Tracey Cox Supersex Flexible Tip Anal Douche 250ml

Pleasantly pleased and ready for play

My boyfriend and I have always enjoyed anal play, but often think “What if I’m not ‘good to go’ in there?” Feeling clean and comfortable, especially when it comes to anal play, is really important as it means I can relax and enjoy the fun.

I’m not sure why I didn’t order a douche sooner as this item has really changed things and has me completely reassured!

This is my first time buying a douche and after reading the reviews on the other products available, I opted for this one because of it’s silicone texture, flexible tip and solid looking build.

I was very happy with the item’s packaging and it’s easy two-part, screw fit assembly. There are instructions on the box (which is also good to store your douche in) which are very simple to follow.

The selling point for me was the tip, and I was happy to find that it was just a smooth and flexible as I’d anticipated and that the product was built well.

I was a little nervous about using the item, but there was absolutely no need. As others have said, it’s best to be by the toilet as things do need somewhere to go! I also took a shower afterwards to make sure I was feeling super fresh and ready for the bedroom, as we all know this isn’t the most glamorous process.

The bulb does hold an ample amount of water, but you may want to do the process twice to make sure you are completely clean. With a little lube on the stem, the insertion was easy and completely pain-free.

The sensation is strange and can only be described as a sense of fullness, but it isn’t uncomfortable. Be sure to continue to compress the bulb when you remove the tip or it’ll suck all the water back in. Your body expels the water when it’s ready and that’s pretty much it!

I found the product easy to clean too, which is a must with a douche.

I waited about 40mins before anal play to make sure everything was settled down there, but the actual process itself took no more than 10 minutes. I felt really clean and confident afterwards and had no worries about anal play in the bedroom at all. So for anyone who is in doubt as to whether to buy or not, as a first-timer I can’t recommend this product enough.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: It’s strong build, silicone texture and ease of use.

Cons: Nothing!

Botom Line: Fantastic product for anal play cleanliness and peace of mind.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Lari42, 19 Nov 2016
Lovehoney Bliss Orgasm Balm

Absolute Bliss (balm)

We originally got this as one of the free gifts when you spend x-amount or more on one of your purchases, which is always a happy little surprise when another item gets added to your basket!

Easily one of the best presents that I have recieved!

It comes in a little tin, roughly the size of a tin of lip balm, so it is very easy to conceal and carry around with you.

The first time I used it I was slightly disappointed because I couldn’t really feel much, but I just hadn’t used enough of it.

The second time I was slightly more liberal with the amount and I could tell the difference right away!

It is a pleasant tingling sensation which really stimulates your clit, excellent for both when I am alone or when I am with my partner. It enhances the sensation of sex and makes me feel a lot more sensitive and responsive. It feels absolutely wonderful!

The product itself has a nice, slightly minty smell from the menthol and, I have been told, not a bad taste when our foreplay was followed by oral sex!

We were very lucky to receive this (thank you, Lovehoney) and we will definitely be purchasing another tin when this one is empty!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Very nice sensation, and made me feel a lot more sensitive.

Cons: Nothing!

Bottom Line: A must-buy for anyone looking for something cheap and cheerful!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @sarah2006, 24 Nov 2016
Hooded Sexy Santa Dress with Belt

Exceeded my expectations!

After many hours looking for a sexy Santa costume to treat my OH for Christmas, I decided on this one from Lovehoney.

On opening the parcel I was immediately impressed with the quality of the dress - much more luxurious than I expected, especially the fur trim, which is nice and thick, just like in the photos

I am a UK size 10 and I went with a small, which is a perfect fit. The cuffs are quite tight to get your hands through, and the sleeves could be slightly longer for my liking, but then I have quite long arms. The V neck is just revealing enough, and the length is perfect - short enough to be very sexy, but respectable enough that this could be worn to a Christmas party.

The skirt part is quite flared and is elasticated at the back to pull it into your waist. This isn’t really needed, though, as the included black elastic belt pulls it in too. I coupled the dress with the white Fever Satin and Mesh Layered Petticoat, which gives the skirt even more flare and looks really cute!

Really pleased and can’t wait to wear this for my OH as a surprise at Christmas.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Quality is quite luxurious, lovely thick white fur trim.

Cons: Cuffs a little tight and sleeves could be slightly longer for me.

Bottom Line: Great quality for the price, and a really sexy outfit for Christmas.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @captainmeow, 08 Dec 2016
We-Vibe Tango Lipstick USB Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

The One to rule them all

I am in love with the Tango. Wholly, unabashedly, incorrigibly in love with it. I refuse to even call it a toy because it diminishes this wonderful product to a mere plaything. This was (and still is) a game-changer for me. It took so long for me to finally decide to write this review because it evokes emotions I can’t really describe.

I struggle with orgasms - the Tango gave me my very first, and has brought me tantalizingly close far more times than I have ever achieved on my own or with other vibrators. As I write this, I can feel my body just aching to reach out for it. This, in my mind, is in a class of its own, and I have every intention of convincing you that you should own one too.

Product specifications:

First, the more mundane (but equally important) bits. It’s a very small and shaped like a lipstick, with “We-Vibe Tango” detailed at the base. I have found the design to be absolutely perfect for camouflaging on your dresser, or even to pack along in your handbag for a weekend away. No one bats an eye, and I usually leave mine lying on my bed because that’s how frequently I use it.

It is made of ABS plastic, so it’s body-safe, rigid, and allows for very good transmission from vibrations from the motor. Combined with the angled tip it is great for wonderful pinpoint stimulation wherever you choose. It is also waterproof, which means it can be used in the bath or the shower, although for me it just spells convenience when cleaning.

First impressions:

The packaging on this is gorgeous and I’ve kept mine around because I loathe to discard it. It comes with a wee satin drawstring bag that I’ve found is large enough to store both the Tango and the charger that comes with it - ideal for ensuring I don’t lose the charger or mix it up with other cables. It also makes travelling with it even easier and is just a nice touch of luxury.

The charger itself has a USB plug that I have found very versatile - I can charge it via my laptop or attach the magnetic clip head to my Android phone’s charger. I have read that charging can be a bit fiddly due to the magnetic attachment, but I personally have no trouble with it. The magnets are strong and the connection keeps itself in place if left to charge on a flat surface.

The vibrator itself is beautiful in its simplicity and everything about it says luxury from the get-go. You know you’re getting something good right out of the bag.

Use:

On to the fun part! This is incredibly, impossibly powerful. I had read all about the strength of the vibrations, but I was caught completely unawares when I turned it on and it threatened to jump right off my palm! And that was only at the lowest of the three speeds! I love it. It’s so strong that some days I use it through clothes first (and yes that includes jeans) before placing it directly on me.

For all its strength, it is also very quiet. I share a flat and could not hear it in the room next to mine with the door. I am confident using this with the flatmates around, although managing the sounds I make is a different matter!

It has four speed settings (Low, Medium, High, Ultra) and four patterns (Tease, Wave, Pulse, Cha-cha), and you cycle through them by pressing the button at the base. To turn it off, simply hold down the button for a couple seconds and it switches off.

It also has a memory function so the next time you turn it on, it starts at the setting you last left it at. Depending on how you prefer to use your vibrators, this may or may not be a niggle for you. I appreciated the memory function, but found the single button operation at times annoying because I couldn’t move up and down intensities without cycling through all the speeds and patterns.

But all is forgiven when I use the Tango. I have never experienced anything quite like it. The vibrations are not just strong. They’re deliciously rumbly and go deep into the tissues. The intensity of the rumbles creeps up on me and before I know it I’m caught up in the incredible vibrations pulsing through me.

I love that by simply twisting it with my fingers I can have more pinpoint stimulation when the tip is on my clitoris, or slightly more diffuse stimulation with the broader surface in contact with me.

I also really enjoy the Wave pattern in the build-up to the finish. It almost seems to be slowly eking out a peak from me so that even when I don’t manage to orgasm it is still immensely pleasurable.

The Tango is also perfectly shaped for use with a partner because it’s so very small and sleek. It fit comfortably between two people and those who like strong vibrations on their penises might enjoy this too! It can also be inserted vaginally although it is not for G-spot stimulation.

It does not have a flared base, though, so I would certainly not use this anally. Since it is fairly small and very smooth, keeping a hold on this may potentially be challenging if you’re using lots of lube. However, I personally have not had any problems holding on to it during play, both alone and with a partner.

Summary:

If you haven’t noticed yet, I love this. It gave me my first orgasm and is the first thing I recommend to people looking for a good quality, strong vibrator. I’d only caution against this if you know you like gentle or broader vibrations, because the Tango does not hold back. If you, like me, crave power and deep rumbly pinpoint vibrations, you have found The One for you.

Get this vibrator. We-Vibe markets this as the most powerful mini-vibe, and I wholeheartedly agree. I regret all the time I spent without this, agonizing over the cost. Don’t make my mistake. This is well worth the money, and should you find this does not suit you, Lovehoney’s incredible returns policy is always there for you.

Overall Ratings: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything! Reliable, powerful, rumbly, well-designed, waterproof, rechargeable.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: If you only own one toy, make it this!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @anon58345207, 05 Dec 2016
Lovehoney Tempt Me Dot Mesh Crotchless Suspender Knicker

Lead Me Not Into Tempatation with these Sexy Knickers

A tribute song to the Lovehoney Tempt Me Dot Mesh Suspender Knickers

(Inspired by the song “Lead Me Not” by Lari White)

Well, I should have stopped shopping hours ago

I always lose track of the time on lovehoney.com

I’ll just browse the sale a little more while I try to recall

A thought from the back of my mind

Oh yeah I remember, it began with a the Tempt Me Chemise

When I imagined how these knickers would look on me

I was thinking about how they would feel like a warm drink

I know I love crotchless & removable garters and ordered with glee

Lovehoney, Lead me not into temptation

I already know the road all too well

Lead me not into temptation

I can find it all by myself

I’ve the best of intentions, Lovehoney, I mean to be good

These colors so pretty and stretch lace fabric too boot

But seems the harder I try, the more lingerie I buy

'Til I’m lusting to try something new

Now the Tempt Me Line is a good lookin’ thing,

and that sales price be the best proposition that I’ve had all week

But there’s no need for subtlety, darlin’, just buy these before they are gone

Look behind me the view so sexy and the cart will show you the way

Lovehoney, Lead me not into temptation

My lingerie drawer is already full

Lead me not into temptation

But I can find room for these knickers today

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Sexy back. Crotchless. Removable garters.

Cons: N/A.

Bottom Line: These knickers have it all.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @andyappetite, 20 Dec 2016
Tease by Lovehoney Spanking Paddle

Paddle Perfection

The paddle arrived promptly in the ubiquitous Lovehoney plain cardboard box.

The paddle itself was simply wrapped in a plastic bag with an ID tag attached to the handle with an easy to remove metal chain.

One side of the spanker is soft with a silky type finish, the reverse being luscious leather. A leather wrist loop is both practical and sexy - my wife even hitting me with that!

The double-sided nature of this paddle is what makes it so delightful. My wife isn’t keen on being spanked but is more than happy with being repeatedly hit with the soft side.

The noise it makes is a really pleasing THWACK, and even after 15 or 20 hard slaps on her butt with the soft side, it’s only just starting to redden and she still feels happy. Me, I’m horny as hell as I can really slap her without causing her any discomfort.

Now, when she’s got me assuming the position, it’s a completely different story.

She starts off slapping me with the soft side, giving me half or dozen ringing slaps and then surprising me by switching sides and giving me the odd slap with the leather side, alternating between the 2 in a random fashion. The leather side is capable of giving a real sting and is brilliant, especially when she targets my cock and balls.

Ouch!

Overall, this is a brilliant product due to its double-sided versatility.

The soft side is great for a gentle slap for either a beginner/someone less keen on being spanked (like my wife!). It’s great to use the soft side as a warm up and to alternate with the leather side to vary the sensation that the recipient gets.

The leather side is more than capable of meting out some serious punishment and leaving your naughty boy’s (or girl’s) ass a delicious deep red.

An ideal product for anyone who fancies a spot of spanking.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Double-sided, great for everyone.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: Tease me, please me. Definitely recommend to anyone, novice or advanced.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Spidey, 08 Dec 2016
Double Tip Unisex Strap-On Harness Kit with 2 Dildos

Amazing - just amazing

I’m going to review this from a heterosexual couple’s perspective as that’s how it’s been used by us.

Well, it’s perhaps one of the hardest fantasies to bring up from either side of the relationship. Some men would love to try this out but don’t want to ask, and some women desperately want to use a strap-on on their lover but again, dare not bring it up. Getting advice on this is something you can find in the community forums, but I’ve written the above because it draws a valid point on this particular product for us.

As said, we are a straight couple. I’m not, as the male here, averse to trying anal things out on receiving and especially giving. However, a strap-on is always going to be a big ask initially.

We’d experimented with fingers and toys et cetera, and while exciting for the woman to do, I find it’s more that they enjoy giving the pleasure to their man’s G-spot. With the strap-on, however, it’s a lot about a fantasy of control…

So, we’d discussed it over a glass of wine a few times, very openly, and this needs to be the case with choosing one.

For me, there was one rule - the dildo couldn’t look like a penis. I’m not gay in the slightest, have absolutely no interest or attraction in men whatsoever - I am, however, into experimenting in the bedroom and fulfilling my partner’s fantasies.

We chose this one for a few reasons. It ticked the box of not being a model of a penis. It had two sizes and shapes to choose from, and it looked decent quality. One is slightly penis-shaped, but if that doesn’t bother you then you have even more choice!

You might be an expert or beginner, and to be honest, this I would say is an intermediate set as the dildos are not exactly small nor are they professional porno pegging size. They would suit someone like us, who have experimented and are ready to take the next step.

So, on to it. To say my lady was excited is an understatement. Once we were relaxed and ready to try it I said okay. Now, getting it on must have been incredibly simple, as it took her the best part of 10 seconds before she stood there admiring her new dominating member!

The material is of slightly soft silicone. I know this doesn’t always agree with people’s skin, but my suggestion, and to further enhance the experience, is to pop a condom over them along with a lot of condom-friendly lube.

They’re quite large dildos, but once relaxed they’re actually about the correct size for a male anus and correctly curved and twisted to hit the right spot. The colours are also bright and not skin-like.

From a receiving point of view the experience was new and quite out of this world. Being on the other end of the thrusts was quite mind-blowing for both of us.

A great point about this set is that my lady was able to slide her fingers down the front of the harness and rub her clit. Looking over my shoulder and seeing her go at me while screaming in orgasm was one of the hottest things I have ever experienced during sex.

We’ve had the set over a year now and only used it a couple of times as it’s for very, very special occasions. But if you’re in a great, experimental sexual relationship this will take your relationship to a new level. It will force you both to lose all inhibitions and perhaps make you explore new experiences and toys alike.

The only thing I might add having got used to it would be a vibration function. That really would top it off.

A great set for female/male or female/female I’m sure.

Overall Rating: 7 out of 10 stars

Pros: Good quality, a new level to the relationship.

Cons: Nothing really. It’s as expected.

Bottom Line: A great product. Intermediate rather than compete beginner.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @mrs_l, 21 Jan 2017
The Best Valentine’s Ever Gift Bundle

This is a great little bundle

This is a great bundle for the price. I originally was looking to buy the power play 10 function rabbit, and then I came across this for the same price and it had one included so I thought well why not.

After ordering the hubby and I were like kids at Christmas, and really couldn’t wait for it to arrive. When it did arrive we opened up the box and got straight down to trying them out. So onto the toys included:

Lovehoney basics vibrating butt plug: my first thought on this was I’m not too sure but I was pleasantly surprised it is very smooth and comfortable. The vibrations are very strong and it’s also very quiet. I can honestly say my mind has been changed regarding anal toys.

Lovehoney 3 speed micro magic wand: the wand itself is so tiny it’s almost too cute to use but my God, is it powerful, on the lowest vibration speed it didn’t take long at all to get the juices flowing I think this will be one of my favourite toys.

Lovehoney silk delight lubricant: this is absolutely lovely it’s very thick so doesn’t run or drip and feels very smooth against the skin.

Lovehoney oh! Satin blindfold: there’s not much you can really say about a blindfold except it’s a blindfold it is very soft and keeps out light even in daylight it’s very well padded too.

Lovehoney get started couple’s sex toy kit (4piece): the little satin bag is a lovely colour bright purple with a little heart on it, the male stroker kind of threw us a little bit. After a bit of faffing around we got fed up and said we’d try that another time, the vibrating cock ring is a lovely purple colour and the vibrations from it are quite strong, and my hubby said the sensation of the from wearing it was an added extra bonus, and finally, the silver bullet, although it hasn’t been tested yet we did pop a battery in and turned it on, it is quite noisy but not too noisy. The vibrations are quite strong and the different patterns to scroll through are great.

Lovehoney power play 10 function silicone G-spot rabbit vibrator: this well it was the first thing to try this is what I wanted more than anything, the feel of the silicone is very smooth and very soft, the rotating shaft does its job very well the shaft has 3 speeds and a rotate option to reverse the direction of the shaft I liked that very much, and the ears, OMG, the ears have 3 speeds and loads of different patterns to chose from. The vibrations from the ears are very strong. They get to the right spot without needing to fiddle around with it, this is going to my go-to toy every time.

Lovehoney oh! Kinky confessions truth or dare card game: we haven’t played with these yet but the packaging is super cute.

If anyone is looking for a fun weekend or a fun Valentine’s Day night then this is definitely for you lots of variety to choose from and for the price, you can’t complain.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The variety of toys and the rabbit ears.

Cons: The silver bullet is tad noisy but not a problem for us.

Bottom Line: Great value for money and absolutely well worth the money.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Shadow_Collector, 17 Jan 2017
Lovehoney Desire Luxury Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

All that I desired

Power queens usually have a hard time finding bullets that deliver. I know the struggle myself, and I honestly thought that it was something I would just have to make peace with. That was before I learned that Lovehoney’s Desire range was releasing their own rechargeable design. I already owned one or two Desire items, so I knew that it had to be high quality and powerful to be allowed to carry the same branding as the rest of them. A few positive reviews came in, and that was that. I had to try this one out for myself.

First off, the packaging. It was… exactly what I expect from Luxury products. Clean, simple and minimal. On top of that, it comes with a small zip-up storage pouch that fits the bullet perfectly and makes subtle transportation and storage a breeze. Full marks, Lovehoney!

Then there’s the toy itself. It’s small, covered with velvety smooth silicone and embossed with the adorable Lovehoney logo at the base. The whole aesthetic is spot on, crisp and classy as I’ve come to expect from all brands associated with this company.

Charging time is listed at about two hours, and it works well if you leave it charging overnight. Unlike other rechargeable bullets I’ve tried (think Argentinian dance…), it doesn’t overheat while charging. The magnetic attachment is strong enough to not come off whenever you bump it, another plus for the clumsy folk out there.

The three power settings are controlled by the button at the base of the bullet. To scroll through them (and the patterns as well, but I won’t be talking about them on account of the fact that I’ve never understood the point of patterns in toys like this), you just keep clicking until you hit the one you like. To turn off the toy, just hold the button for a few seconds.

The build up of power from lowest to highest intensity is satisfyingly noticeable without any setting being pathetically weak or jaw-breakingly strong. It gets the balance perfect, which coming from a power queen with exacting standards is high praise indeed. As if this isn’t enough already, the vibrations themselves are more rumbly than I expected, a welcome change from the buzziness of most bullets on the market.

Powerful toys usually come with a steep trade off: they make as much noise as construction equipment, making them impossible to use unless the house is empty. Not in this case! A duvet is enough to silence it.

I could go on for pages waxing lyrical, but others have beaten me to it. With that in mind, I’ll finish this review off while it is still (relatively) short.

In summary: power, discretion and for what you’re getting it won’t break the bank. This is one of the best examples of quality design I have seen in months, and it is my sincere belief that anyone would be happy to own one of these versatile beauties. Ladies, you know where the basket it… go on, you won’t regret it!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: Stellar quality bullet.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @SquirtyPanda, 29 Jan 2017
Lovehoney Desire Luxury Valentine’s Sex and Chocolate Gift Box

The absolute ideal gift

The packaging on this item is exceptional. Very well thought out, especially hygienically speaking for us OCD cleanaholics. The outer packaging is Lovehoney purple with the words Desire embossed on the top. Letting you know inside is a toy from Lovehoney’s signature line. This outer packaging is a slip for the inner box. The box is very strong and sturdy. I am confident with leaving the rabbit safely stored there. Once the outer slip is removed the Lovehoney heart logo sits proudly on display. You open the top tab and your eyes are feasted with a gorgeous pink rabbit. What makes this rabbit special compared to the rabbit on the Desire line is that this one is pink. A stunning contrast to the purple packaging and the right move as opposed to purple packaging and a purple rabbit. The second drawer, your eyes are again treated to the sight of chocolate. Not just any chocolate, but truffles! This adds a touch of elegance to this marvellous gift set.

How did the rabbit satisfy me? It does a superb job, and I am a power queen. Not only am I satisfied by the powerful vibrations, the smooth silicone slides where it needs to with no fuss, the rabbit is perfectly positioned and those ears are very good at their job. My preferred vibration pattern is constant. However, the patterns I let myself experience are indeed desirable and teasing. There are plenty of variations to choose from. The use of the buttons made for an easy, no fuss session. Three buttons which are easy to get used to. The shaft is an adequate size, however, may be intimidating for a beginner. I am also so happy that this rabbit is waterproof. I like using it in the bath just before bed time. The charge did not take long at all and last a long time. The slightly curved tip massaged my G-spot perfectly and in conjunction with those ears tickling away on my clitoris it didn’t take me long to get there.

Onto those truffles. To die for. I am so glad Lovehoney decided to go for truffles as opposed to standard chocolates. These truffles are beautifully made, inside and out. The dark chocolate ones aren’t a big hit with me, dark chocolate never has so that wasn’t a surprise. However, the salted caramel and the raspberry & champagne are one of the best chocolates I have ever tried! I can’t quite decide which one I like best, the caramel or the raspberry. The caramel is really dark and gooey, with a chocolate powder on the outside shell, which would be a delicious invitation if your partner gets some on their lip… (thank me later!) I love the twang of the champagne with the raspberry truffle. You can really taste the raspberry when your tongue hits those little red flakes, you can tie your partner up and tease with these chocolates they are that flavoursome and delicious. The chocolates are displayed in a clear box which keeps the chocolates fresh. The box is nestled on some black packing paper, the presentation of this gift set is spot on!

Gifting this for your partner or for yourself (why not?!) is such an amazing treat, getting to play with a powerful rabbit then relax with some truffles? Genius. The rabbit is powerful and the chocolates are delectable. I would not look any further if you’re looking for the ideal gift for your partner. There is literally no improvements I can think of, Lovehoney you have got this on the button! Amazing item, you will regret it if you don’t buy.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Superb packaging, powerful rabbit, delicious chocolates.

Cons: The dark chocolate but that’s down to my tastebuds.

Bottom Line: 10/10, perfect gift, look no further!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @VioletWolf, 19 Jan 2017
Fifty Shades Darker Anastasia Masquerade Mask

Fifty Shades of Yes

Nothing frames the face quite like a lace filigree mask, and none so much as this delicate silver beauty. With soft edges and a flattering shape, the Anastasia Steele mask exudes mystery with its feminine allure.

I don’t often comment about the packaging but as it’s the first thing I saw, I feel this is worth noting. The mask comes in a printed card slip, designed to keep the mask flat, with a cut out on the front to show off a teasing glimpse of the item within. The design of the mask is printed on the card to follow on from the piece and altogether is very well presented. Had I seen this in a shop, it would definitely have provoked interest!

Now, on to the mask itself. It really is a very striking piece. The silver thread is woven into an elegant lace that enhances the eyes beautifully, captivating the beholder. It sits well on my face and ties with ribbon to fit comfortably. I particularly enjoy the colour for the fact that it can be coordinated with any lingerie and still maintain its self-respect.

The diamantés finishing the edges are a very classy touch, adding an appealing sparkle. Unfortunately several of them became loose and were lost before I noticed. The majority of them were stuck on very well, though, and the loss of a few doesn’t detract too much from the overall effect.

What I really adore about this masquerade mask is the filigree detailing; within the swirling patterns you will find roses, keys, and chain links, integrated seamlessly. It is this attention to detail that sets the piece apart from similar products available on the market.

I’m not overly keen on the silver-grey ribbon having ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ printed all along its length, simply because I wouldn’t like to show off the brand name if I was wearing the mask outside of my home, with it being a novelty item. As it is, though, it was fairly well hidden by my hair.

Overall, I really love the mask. It’s so pretty and feminine, yet strong too. I felt different wearing it, as though I was somebody else; I could hide in plain sight behind those seemingly demure, lace swirls. A secret waiting to be uncovered.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Great accessory to any lingerie.

Cons: Some diamantés fell off but it’s hardly the worst thing to happen.

Bottom Line: Love it; as the title says - 50 Shades of Yes!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @RosyCheek, 13 Feb 2017
Flirty Pink Lace Boyshorts

Flirty, feminine, fun

Grab your legwarmers and jump back to the days of the 80s or perhaps some glow sticks and neon body paint for a 90s rave? Whatever you prefer, these are the knickers for you!

These are such a fabulous shade of pink I can’t help but feel a little retro. They bring a massive smile to my face and that is just what you need with your underwear, right?

In the discreet box, which was delivered perfectly and promptly, my pink boy shorts were folded in a plastic bag. They are so delicate, intricately designed lace yet really robust.

I always worry with lace that it will tear or pull easily but these don’t at all. The lace is so soft with a beautiful shimmery sheen to it. The shorts are so silky smooth, myself and the husband couldn’t resist petting them. Any excuse for him to rub my rear! They are beautifully sewn, no pulls or skipped stitches in sight. These are sewn to last wear after wear.

The fit is glorious! I am on the larger end of a size 18, so was unsure if the 16-18 would fit. They fit fantastically. The elastic and lace has a super stretch to it, there is no tightness, no cutting in under my mummy tummy. My curvy bum is enhanced to perfection with these comfortable, flirty shorts.

I wear these as every day knickers, they give me a happy, fuzzy feeling when I wear them. They stay in place all day, no riding up my bum, no drooping under it. Definitely a go to pair of knickers for my girly days.

As for washing them, there are no problems. With all delicates it is best to hand wash but as a busy mum there’s no time for that. I simply pop them on with my normal load and they come out perfect after each wash. No fading, no colour runs and no bobbling of the fabric. Seriously perfect every time.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Colour, fit, style, softness, made to last.

Cons: Not a thing.

Bottom Line: Gorgeous girly pants even for a rock chick!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @anon47583778, 22 Feb 2017
Lovehoney Booty Buddy Silicone Butt Plug

Brilliant for beginners

We received one of these in last years Kinky Couples Mystery Bundle, which I was quite pleased about as I hadn’t actually tried a plug before, then we got a second one in the Big Box of Sexual Happiness, which was perfect as my partner then had one he could use if he wanted to.

It arrives in a petite white and orange box with a picture of the product on the front and some information on the sides. It’s fairly simple and classic, but I love that it’s gender-neutral. Inside, I found an instruction leaflet and the Booty Buddy. It was placed within a plastic bag which I’m assuming is for hygiene reassurance and protection from lint.

When I took it out of the box, I was immediately impressed with the quality of the silicone used. It looks slick and silky, which is exactly how it feels. It’s really smooth and feels top-notch, which is surprising considering the low price. I will say that it has a fair amount of drag to it though so I’d recommend copious amounts of anal lubricant to remove this. I really like a coating of Sliquid Sassy or Lovehoney Discover when using this.

Having never tried a butt plug before I was slightly nervous but I’d previously participated in anal play with dildos and partner penetration, so I knew the size wouldn’t be an issue. In all honesty, I think I could have started with a medium plug due to my previous experience, but I enjoyed using this one and I still do now, although it’s not something I reach for on a daily basis.

I found that squatting over the butt plug was the easiest way for me to insert it when I was doing so by myself, but laying on my back with the Liberator Wedge below me worked best when I handed it over to my partner to insert. It’s really up to you how you choose to position yourself but make sure you’re comfortable and relaxed for the best results. I found this plug glided quite easily with a serving of lube and rested comfortably once in position.

In terms of how it felt, I liked the way that it made my vaginal canal feel tighter and I think this was fun for my partner too. He noticed and commented on the difference, although it was only a small one as I’m quite tight naturally. It puts a subtle, but noticeable, pressure on the back wall which makes penetration more enjoyable and increases the chances of me climaxing through sex. Before I met this butt plug, it was rare that I’d orgasm from PIV without the addition of a clitoral vibrator, but now it happens on most occasions where I’m wearing this.

This makes my partner and I feel more connected during penetration and it’s a lot of fun for both of us. He loves pressing on the T-bar to increase the amount of pressure that I can feel and this tends to add more intensity to an orgasm. I haven’t encountered any problems with it coming loose and I have no worries about it travelling and creating an awkward A&E visit. The base feels sturdy and secure and keeps the plug firmly in place until I choose to take it out.

Overall, I think this is a great starter product and something every fan of anal play should have in their collection. It’s perfectly petite, which makes it non-intimidating and friendly for complete beginners and those who are simply new to plugs. I’ve got my hands on a couple of other butt plugs since this experience, so I’d highly recommend it if you’re curious about trying one for the first time.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Silky silicone, sturdy base, perfect introductory plug.

Cons: Collects a ton of lint, but what silicone toy doesn’t?

Bottom Line: A must-have for anyone looking to experiment with anal.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @DavidB1986, 16 Feb 2017
DOMINIX Deluxe Padded Leather Blindfold

Surprisingly comfortable and effective

Myself and my husband are still fairly new when it comes to bondage play. We’re generally open to try new things, and we’ve experimented with simple blindfolds and restraints before. When the opportunity arose that we would be staying in a luxury hotel for a few days, I saw this as the perfect opportunity to get some new, more durable kit to take away with us. This range of leather products by DOMINIX looked to be fairly sturdy, whilst still being pretty budget friendly.

The blindfold is packaged in a very simple plastic bag with a leather style tag attached to it. It features an adjustable strap at the bag, ensuring it can be as tight/snug as you need, whilst the eyepiece has a rounded nose and plenty of soft padding over the eyes.

When worn, the blindfold is pretty comfortable, and does a pretty good job at blocking out all the light, dependent on how tight you have secured it. The smell of the leather so close to the nostrils as well also heightened the sensations as we experimented in the hotel room.

Unlike simple fabric blindfolds, there is a slight issue of getting a little wet and sweaty, as the leather does warm you up a fair bit, and after prolonged use there can be a little bit of redness from where the leather was rubbing, but that could also just be down to my more sensitive skin - but it’s something to think about.

All in all, this is a pretty solid blindfold that offers a good amount of darkness whilst still remaining comfortable. The black leather works well in most bedroom settings, and if you are looking for something a bit more sturdy and durable but don’t want to break the bank - this selection of bondage gear by DOMINIX isn’t a bad place to start.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Well made, comfortable, effective at blocking out light.

Cons: Can get a little sweaty after prolonged use!

Bottom Line: Affordable, durable but still has an air of luxury for the discerning bondage connoisseur.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @SparklingKink, 24 Feb 2017
Lovehoney Oh! Silky Bondage Restraints

Incredible versatility

For a product worth £7 and that is part of the 3 for £10 offer, these restraints are incredibly comfortable and versatile. I had low expectations of such a cheap product, but these are now one of my favourite toys.

From the moment these things came out of their box, I was impressed. The silky black material looks simply gorgeous. It simply begs you to put the cuffs on. The texture of the restraints has the same effect: the silky smooth feel is so soft on your skin. It will make the person being bound raring to get the restraints on. Note that only one side of each ribbon is silky; the other side is still smooth and completely comfortable on your skin, just a bit less luxurious.

When you do give into the desire to get into the restraints, they are intuitive in how to put them on. You wrap the ribbon around your wrist or ankle then pull it through the loop - that’s it!

There is an excess of ribbon left over to attach to anything you want. While this does mean you have to lightly wrap the ribbon around the arms a few times if you just want to tie together someone’s wrists, it allows the product to be amazingly versatile. Here are just a few of the possibilities: you can attach the wearer to various items of furniture, create a hogtie (either by getting another pair or by putting ankles in the same loop and wrists in the same loop), you can attach one wrist to each of the wearer’s ankles (one ankle and one wrist in each loop), securely keep two limbs (either arms or legs of the wearer), or just use the ribbon to create sexy decoration on the wearer. The wearer can comfortably be kept in numerous positions!

The restraints are fairly sturdy, and shouldn’t break even if you squirm a lot. That said, the restraints are just polyester ribbons, so they are more likely to stretch or break compared to other restraints, which tend to be made from more resilient materials like metal or leather. The restraints are not by any means weak, but it’s worth noting there are far stronger materials on the market.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Look sexy, feel sexy, versatile, suitable for extended use.

Cons: Material can be too long, weaker than other restraints.

Bottom Line: If you only ever buy one set of restraints make it these!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @MK7, 27 Mar 2017
THRUST Pro Elite Alana Ribbed Vagina & Ass Mega Masturbator

Life-changing ass

There’s a review title I never thought I’d use.

Let’s get right down to business. This thing is absolutely huge. It’s life-size. It weighs 7 kilos. It’s not discreet. It’s hard to hide. It is one huge chunk of ass. Now, that description might make you think 'All that for £220? Can it really be worth it?"

My immediate answer is ‘Shut up and stop worrying about whether or not it’s worth it because where else are you going to be able to let 7 kilos of silicone ass basically do all of the work for you? It’s like the real thing dammit!’ Perhaps not those exact words, but you do get the point.

This thing is utterly magnificent. For starters, it’s more inclined to do anal than my partner. Second of all, my partner is also longdistance, so when they’re not here to compromise in person I can use Alana from now on. Lovely jubbly.

The holes are both lovely. The ass is tighter, and the vagina is more textured. Much like the real thing, really. You can pick and choose, and even better, you can just alternate and swap between holes. It’s very much like the real thing. My only complaint is I’d need a hole warmer to get it as close to perfect as possible. It really is close to real life sex.

The overall most astounding quality of this toy is how weighty it is. With enough lube, you don’t even have to thrust. The weight of this toy will push itself down on to you. If you like being ridden, you can genuinely let Alana ride you instead of having to do the work. You can get in to almost any position you might do with a real partner and replicate it with Alana. On the table? Easy. Missionary? No problem. Cowboy? Alana’s gonna do (almost) all the work for you. She’s a versatile dismembered ass and vagina. Really gets the job done.

Alana is easy to clean. I found that all I had to do was take her into the shower after I was done and shove a nozzle in to her holes and just let the warm water wash everything away. Thankfully, this is another area where Alana excels over my partner. My partner would most likely die if I were to do the same.

Storing Alana is as easy as dusting some renewal powder over her keeping her in the box she was shipped in under our bed, out of the public eye, and ready to be used whenever I should feel.

It’s really hard to find any sort of detracting quality on this giant, giant piece of ass. I suppose the lips of its vagina has cheap colouring, so even with water-based lube, the colours run, and on your first two or three uses, might find your pecker a little pinker than usual. The only other complaint I can think of is that the ass doesn’t quite jiggle as much as I’d like when you give it a cheeky little smack. But that’s alright. Not everyone has the kind of jiggling butt that makes for an empowering rap video.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Has never failed to make me climax.

Cons: Doesn’t cuddle me after we’re done.

Bottom Line: Doesn’t quite replace my OH, but makes our time apart easier.