Review Hall of Fame

:trophy: by @Black_Eyed_Bunny, 23 Sep 2012
Tracey Cox Supersex Bullet Vibrator

Cautionary Tale

Long lasting batteries. Powerful and quiet so discreet when being used, yet able to provide intense stimulation. As newcomers to sex toys, this seemed a very non-threatening or intimidating beginning which we both enjoyed using on each other with very satisfying results. It also provided a huge amount of laughter along with the physical enjoyment. However, for us there was just one small incident, which was not a reflection on poor performance, merely inexperienced users. A classic case of human error. Please see below.

A Cautionary Tale

Vibrators are fun and just the toy,

For a first time buy for a girl and boy.

Because while they hum and do their thing,

They make you giggle and your body go zing.

But please take note and beware,

That whilst having fun you must take care,

To move hard objects well away,

So you are safe while you play.

Whilst writhing with pleasure as much as able,

She banged her face on the bedside table.

It didn’t stop her laughing and squealing NO MORE,

But in the morning her poor eye was sore!

So take this tale and from it learn,

That if lots of fun is for what you yearn,

Then vibrators are fantastic and a brilliant toy,

However, soft surroundings will enhance your joy!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Smart appearance, like a posh lipstick, not a vibrator. Worked really well. Fun.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: Quiet and powerful with a sophisticated, non-intimidating look for newcomers to sex toys.

:medal_sports: by @5mil, 26 Sep 2012
TENGA Red Flip Hole Male Masturbator

Different enough to be worthwhile

This is my second TENGA Flip Hole; my original White model has been well-used and the area between the silicone insert and the plastic sleeve is starting to look a bit mouldy. This seems to be a bit of an issue with the Flip Hole - even though you leave it out to dry for several hours after rinsing it out, clearly some moisture remains trapped between the sleeve and insert, resulting in a black mould developing over time. It doesn’t affect the functioning at all, but it does look unsightly. I wonder if there is some antimicrobial cleaner that could be used that would not damage the silicone?

But on to the review. The basic construction and functions of the Red are identical to the other Flip Hole models - the folding ‘book’ style design and the three pressure buttons on each side. However the patterning on the inner sleeve is quite different on this model. Whereas the White has large nodules, ridges, and the wonderful ball at the end, the Red has more subtle textured ridging and somehow feels less enveloping. I’m struggling to think of an analogy for the ridging, but another reviewer mentioned the sensation as being like the rumble strips at the edge of the motorway, and bizarrely that does actually describe it pretty well!

The insert doesn’t seem to grip around the sides as much as the original, which is a noticeable criticism; but I found the textures on each side were noticeably different, making it worthwhile to experiment with turning it different ways to see what it felt like. It also feels a little less intense than the original somehow, which meant I was able to last much longer. The range of sensations available seemed to be greater, ranging from small motions with pressure pads depressed, giving intense almost tickly sensations, to longer looser thrusts with no pressure pads used, which felt the mildest.

In terms of noise, it’s still as squelchy as ever, particularly when playing with the buttons. Personally I don’t mind, and my OH actually quite likes the sucking, squelchy sounds, but I can understand why some people might find it a bit off-putting.

If I had any criticism, it is only that there seems to be less sensations at the sides of the insert than in the original. However, the texture is different enough from the White to make it worthwhile and I certainly find that I can last a lot longer with this model than I can with the White.

Overall, it’s not better or worse, just different. And what’s wrong with a bit of variety?

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: A noticeably different texture to the original Flip Hole.

Cons: Less sensation at the sides.

Bottom Line: A different, maybe a bit less intense, Flip Hole.

:medal_sports: by LoveKinky, 02 Sep 2012
Utensil Race Proof 005 Zhang Xiao Yu’s Realistic Pussy Masturbator

Incredible sex toy destroys Fleshlight

For those not familiar with the Utensil Race range, these are different to the Fleshlight and TENGA products as they use silicone and go for a softer, natural feel. Instead of banging away you’re best going slowly, massaging the shaft of your cock. This allows you to go for hours should you want and the feeling is incredible even before you cum.

This is different to the Maria Ozawa which I had previously. Firstly, it is a lot more durable. I’ve had this for months and no tears. Second, it has an inner layer which has more width inside for your cock (half inch compared to quarter I think).

This gives a different feel, as it’s even softer but clings to the full length of your shaft. Just with the Ozawa, don’t just bang away with it like a Fleshlight. Instead, use it slowly and softly, the big spongy mass of the toy means you can grab and pinch the outside to softly stimulate different points. Also the big pillowy bit at the entrance is great for massaging your balls.

Only thing I liked with the Ozawa was it was a fraction tighter, but really it’s just a different feel.

I don’t like any of the Fleshlights, this destroys them all. It’s even better than the TENGA Flip Hole Black, which is admittedly very different, going for a super-stimulating approach.

Really if you’re up for dropping seventy quid on a sex toy you can’t go wrong with this.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Soft clinging massaging pressure that drives you nuts.

Cons: Could be a fraction tighter for perfection.

Bottom Line: Best sex toy I have tried.

:medal_sports: by @Butterflies, 12 Sep 2012
Fetish Fantasy Stainless Steel Wartenberg Pinwheel

Not so scary

While being unsure at first about using one if these, with all its sharp ‘needles’, my boyfriend and I haven’t looked back since this purchase! He was more worried than I was to begin with and I definitely prefer him to use it on me than the other way round - but it works well for us that way!

We use it quite gently, but each to their own and you are in charge… From a gentle tickle to something a bit firmer, it proves a very versatile little toy.

Wasn’t sure how to explain to the daughter what it was when she found it… but quick thinking resulted in “Oh, what’s that doing in here? It should be in the kitchen - it’s for pastry making”!

Buy this and enjoy the beginning of more adventurous fun and games in the bedroom (or the kitchen for that matter)!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Fantastic tingly plaything!

Cons: Nothing!

Bottom Line: Great addition to any bedroom!

:medal_sports: by @JessicaRabbitBunnyRabbit, 24 Sep 2012
Lovehoney Jessica Rabbit 2.0 Rabbit Vibrator

Listen to what I have to say

I have to start by saying I was very sceptical about what this product was going to be able to accomplish. Thanks to my Hubby :wink: (we’re married for two years now), who constantly told me to explore other avenues, I went ahead and gave him the okay to buy it.

At first, I wasn’t really expecting much from this product. The amount of reviews seemed encouraging. I experimented with the toy alone, first on my clothes to get an idea for what the vibrations would be like. I was definitely scared but I had my husband on my side who encouraged me over and over.

Well to put in short, I came the first time from the rabbit ears within two minutes, then came two more times in the next two minutes. My third orgasm which was on level 2 vibrations was earth-shattering. I decided it was too strong for me so I lowered the setting to one, although my husband tells me the best orgasms are the strong ones compared to a bunch of tiny ones. I had never really experienced multiple orgasms and I felt comfortable learning about what my body can do. As a result (and I am not exaggerating), I had a total of NINETEEN orgasms in minutes.

I want to thank the staff at Lovehoney for selling quality products. They have led me to open new doors when it comes to my sexuality which I felt very shy about, even with my husband. I definitely have a lot more sexual confidence which I never had before. Remember just like Lovehoney puts it: Sex toys don’t replace your love life they enhance it. I have certainly “upgraded my orgasm” and I thank my husband dearly and really wish I listened to him earlier and more often. Thank you so so much.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Amazing amazing amazing. First time ever using a sex toy and excellent results.

Cons: Rotating shaft didn’t do it for me, at least not yet.

Bottom Line: Must buy this thing.

:medal_sports: by @HappilyExperimenting, 20 Sep 2012
Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Natural Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator

Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Natural Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator

And so our love affair ends…

I wasn’t sure whether to take the plunge and indulge myself - was £49.99 too much to spend on a rabbit? As this was going to be my first rabbit vibrator I figured I would go for a rechargeable one and save on the batteries. The rabbit looked gorgeous with its sleek, sumptuous silicone body and non-threatening shape which even beginners would be able to adapt to with patience and lube. I didn’t like the look of the rabbits with the swirling shafts, rotating metal balls and fiddly buttons which meant as much to me as those weird buttons on a scientific calculator. I scrimped and saved and ordered the Happy Rabbit Natural, then nervously sat back and waited for it to arrive.

From opening the parcel to removing the outer sleeve, all of this rabbit’s packaging screams class, luxury and sophistication. I love to feel indulged when I have bought something a little more expensive and Lovehoney have certainly hit the spot to make the customer feel pampered. The sleek black box is perfect for storing your Happy Rabbit and is embossed with the words “Get Happy” on the top with the Lovehoney logo next to it. Inside you will find your Happy Rabbit, charger, instructions and satin storage pouch for those who don’t want to use the box. (Tip for students: when charging your Happy Rabbit, hide it in the satin pouch - you can still see the charger light so you know when it’s done but it keeps him away from prying eyes!) The packaging is very sleek and chic; almost in line with the Lelo packaging which most of us are familiar with! He would be a great present for a partner or gift to a good friend as he is stylish and non-intimidating, but with the promise of a great orgasm.

Charge your rabbit (there is a tab at the base) for six hours and then securely pop the tab back in. It is really simple and is a matter of charge, then use, as sometimes when I went to play with my rabbit the charge had ran down and it was lifeless. It has a button for controlling the shaft (which has three separate motors!!!) and a circular button under that for controlling the ears. The ears are not too long, and are easily adjustable to suit any woman. The buttons are easy to use when you’re in the flow of things and the shaft makes you feel full without being uncomfortable (for me, anyway).

But here is where it all goes downhill. Because no matter what I did, I couldn’t orgasm. This rabbit just vibrates and I have already experienced this from many bullet vibrators with better orgasm results. I have tried doggy, on my back, on my front, extra stimulation with other vibrators (which kind of defeats the object) tingly lubes, orgasm boosters, light teasing, heavy thrusting and have had to put it back in its luxury box, shaking my head sadly. With a heavy heart and after many weeks of trying to learn to love my Happy Rabbit, I gave him one last clean, packed him up and returned him to Lovehoney. I can hear your cries of outrage and gasps of shock, but since he couldn’t bring me to orgasm, I couldn’t bring myself to keep him. He was an expensive mistake, but thank goodness for Lovehoney’s returns policy.

Now I am just left wondering: Why did he work for everyone else, and not for me? I so desperately wanted heavy, hot orgasms from him and to be proud to own him, but I’m afraid our love affair has ended. I kept him for his looks and disregarded his true personality in the hope that we could get along eventually, but more than three months later I have had to part with him, waving a handkerchief solemnly as the post office woman bundled him into a Royal Mail sack and drove away into the sunset. I will never forget you, Happy. Cue curtain fall and sad music

Overall Rating: 7 out of 10 stars

Pros: Luxury feel, appearance, easy to operate, rechargeable!

Cons: It’s not you, it’s me :frowning:

Bottom Line: Great introduction to the world of rabbits, a luxury investment for the wiser woman.

:trophy: by @missdoggylover, 07 Oct 2012
Lovehoney Mains Powered Magic Wand

The definitive orgasmic sex toy

Buying Experience:

Easy to find on LH web site with four clear pictures showing it and a large number of reviews, enabling us to make a reasoned judgement that it was the right toy for us. It is hugely highly rated in the reviews so we decided to purchase the Magic Wand Vibrator. We were a little sceptical that this wand was as good as the reviewers claimed but as you can see from our review further down it has exceeded our great expectations. What the Dickens it is the greatest sex toy I have ever had.

Returning to the buying process. My OH is a little bit of a geek when it comes to finding the best buy always looking to match quality to price. After much research he declared that this was the best quality v price so he instructed me to order it tout suite! (Not that I gave a monkeys as to the price because I just wanted it - sorry deviation.) The ordering was easy and despite it being delivered to France it came with free delivery and arrived exactly on the day we were told. The LH packaging was secure, plain and efficient. The box containing the wand was just the right size (not like Cornflake boxes!) and the exterior had a clear, glossy picture and basic description. On removing the wand it was hygienically covered in a polythene sleeve with a UK plug fitted,

Lovehoney:

At this point I just wanted to deviate and tell you about our LH experience. In our time we have ordered dozens of items and spent hundreds of pounds with LH and the service, quality and customer service has been up there with the best. We found the LH experience matches the John Lewis and Costco values of customer care, service and experience. So if you have never used LH you can order with confidence. You are dealing with the best.

The Wand:

Yes the wand is a little large but it does allow easy positioning of the vibrating head. For example:-

  1. You can massage the back of your neck or your spine without having to twist your arms into silly positions.

  2. Unlike other clitoral stimulators it is easy to put in position and keep it where you desire ie you haven’t got to reach down to your clit for solo use or trying to hold it in place whilst your partner is in you - a major benefit!

The cable appears to be of high quality, hygienic and not too cumbersome and is securely fixed at both wand and plug ends. It appears to be have a high quality, hygienic, plastic case and the bendy coloured part at the top is excellent. The speed adjuster (just like the wheel on a computer mouse) moves easily giving a nice firm feel to its adjustment. The colour inside the head is a purple (similar to the iconic colour of a famous silk cigarette brand).

My Experience:

The first time I used it was with my partner. He started to use it as a massager on my neck and shoulders which was very pleasant and got me in the mood. As advised in many reviews he then lubed me up with a strawberry Durex play massage oil (my God this was good advice or else I don’t think you would walk for a week!). My OH then positioned himself between my legs and applied the side of the vibrating head on my clit. I enjoyed the slow speed with the immensely deep vibes it sent through me and as he slowly increased the speed I was simply unable to stop myself from having the most almighty orgasm! Instinctively I wanted to stop as I couldn’t cope with the strength of my orgasm but thankfully my OH was between my legs so I couldn’t close them to stop him and with him knowing me he continued and orgasm after orgasm just followed and followed. To continue to explain would become pornographic but I do want to tell you that I had so many orgasms that just merged into an uncontrolled tsunami of the greatest calibre that I have ever experienced (and I have had a few!). It gave me a truly mind-shattering, uncontrolled, life changing experience.

Summary:

A truly remarkable piece of equipment. Since my first experience it has never failed to achieve the same.

I think it is obvious from my review that I highly recommend this wand. I am of the opinion that no woman, young or old, sexually responsive or not, orgasmically capable or not, would be able to stop themselves from experiencing multiple orgasms.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Guaranteed mind blowing multi orgasmic experiences. P.S. Also good muscle massager!

Cons: A plug socket is needed by the bed and can be a little noisy.

Bottom Line: The most amazing sex toy known to man and in my case woman.

:medal_sports: by @Blueeyes82, 19 Oct 2012
The Diary of a Submissive by Sophie Morgan

The Diary of a Submissive by Sophie Morgan

Lock, stock and smocking heels

“In the wake of Fifty Shades of Grey, here is a memoir that tells the truth about what it means to be a submissive…”

Well, that opening snippet grabbed my attention, when I first opened the package containing this book. ‘The Diary of a Submissive’, yup caught me hook, line and sinker!

I really didn’t get this whole ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ lark, I couldn’t see the attraction to a story that wrongly portrayed the relationship between a submissive and their master. So when this book popped through my letterbox, I quickly grabbed a cup of tea, buttered my toast and curled up on the sofa. This was my time to take advantage of my child free time and delve into someone’s personal life, without sounding like a nosy neighbour.

The cover of the book shows a pair of porcelain and dainty hands that are bound by silver restraints, whilst gently cupping a fully bloomed pink rose. Simple yet it made me want to rip open the front cover to find out what Sophie’s life behind closed doors was all about.

From the start, you are thrown into a dark scene, Sophie with ‘him’. Describing how a person on the outside would be intrigued to take a look, it’s like being told “don’t look down” and you know full well your whole body is going to tell you “well look down you fool!”, it’s something you can’t control, an urge that your mind needs to fulfil before you can move on. The same goes for that couple you see in a dark alley or outside a bar, all over each other, you know you just have to look.

I like how she describes herself as an ‘ordinary’ woman, she has no deep-seated parental past issues, she’s not Maggie Gyllenhaal in The Secretary, she is simply just like you and me, a normal person holding down a steady job and living her life. You get a very quick outlook to how her normal life is lead within the first chapter, clear and straight to the point, no faffing about.

It’s hard to go into detail without giving too much away, so I will try to keep this as simple as I can.

Sophie’s submissive nature is somewhat of a small fairground ride. She writes from the heart, there are some really shocking moments that had me sucking in my breath in. You need to know that this is not as simple as a ‘role-play’ game, you will be taken down a road that leads into some hardcore practices. Sophie is left sobbing with humiliation, punished, even self tortures upon the request of a partner.

Don’t get her wrong, Sophie makes it perfectly clear that she wants this and allows it to happen. There are moments where she questions herself and struggles.

As a submissive myself, I have had people ask me why do I like certain things to be done to me. It’s hard to explain, for me it really is. I’m not into ‘extreme’ BDSM and I would never go as dark and deep as Sophie and her counterparts have, in this biographical read but I can relate to her wanting for what she does.

Of course, it’s not fully about Sophie, James is in there to, her ‘master’ but lets not forget about a couple of other colourful characters, 2 who are less than readable in my view. This is nothing to do with the author’s accounts, I just found him and his female counterpart cringing, sent shivers down my spine. Her first encounter into her world was tame, compared to what you are later lead into. So it’s safe to say that Sophie did go down a rocky road until she crossed paths with James, both of which were coming to terms with their own needs, James questioning if this was the kind of man he wanted to be.

I’m not sure you could class this book as ‘erotica’, yes it has some very graphic and panty wetting scenes in it but it’s a true story. Mind you, I’m pretty sure those of us who do write short erotica stories are writing from personal experience too!

It’s definitely a book you need to pick up and read, Sophie bares her soul to the reader. She tells it how it is, no petting footing with this lady.

I wouldn’t compare it to Fifty Shades of Grey and why? Well, lets be honest here, Sophie KNOWS what she is talking about. Mind you, for me this book was much easier to read, it flowed a lot better and it wasn’t a book that you could second guess. And let’s not forget that The Diary of a Submissive is a real-life story, not a fictional one.

I really do hope that Sophie Morgan lets us into a sequel, especially the way she ends her story, just not fair to keep us hanging.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The brutal honesty and excitement.

Cons: N/A.

Bottom Line: A steamy read that leaves you wanting more!

:medal_sports: @Luscious_Libby, 31 Oct 2012
The Diary of a Submissive by Sophie Morgan

The Diary of a Submissive by Sophie Morgan

A very frank and enlightening read

I toyed with getting this for quite some time. A number of friends were reading 50 Shades and raving about it. I wasn’t really interested in that as I prefer to read factual books, however I was interested in the topic so started to search for similar books. Having read excerpts from 50 Shades and Diary of a Submissive, I decided the latter was more my cup of tea.

I have in the past considered submissive play but am really more of a light bondage person, but I was very much interested in learning more about it. This book is fascinating, not least because you are following a journey, the author’s journey into the world of submission.

I was surprised to read just how violent and degrading some of the sex scenes played out were, however this was well balanced by the detail given to the other side of the relationships. This level of detail to the submission did not put me off reading, it was just miles away from what I had seen on late night TV programmes touching on the subject.

The book highlights that there are positives and negatives to a submissive relationship and the diary manner of the book allows the author to give us information on the thoughts and feelings of her partners, which again is fascinating. It is a compelling read even but due to the submission can be at times uneasy reading. That said I still could not put it down!

Reading this book has sparked a number of debates with my husband as I have tried to understand the submissive relationship and we have both enjoyed exploring the subject further.

I would definitely recommend reading this book and I do hope there is a follow up soon.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The detail given to both sides of the relationships.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: Great read even for those not interested in submissive play.

:medal_sports: by @dyingtoknowyou, 22 Oct 2012
Lovehoney Thrust Realistic Male Masturbator

Thrust - An Apt Name

Having had my eye on a Fleshlight style toy for some time, but never being able to justify the cost, the Lovehoney Thrust came up on my radar as I was about to take the plunge on one of the Fleshlight Girls. A quick change of the order later, followed by a night of anxious waiting, and this package arrived at my door.

I could hardly wait. The house was empty, and I had several hours to myself, so I popped the box open to find the very macho and masculine tube that the Thrust was packaged in. I grinned, and pulled said tube open, turning it over to let the red and white plastic casing fall onto my bed. It’s not very subtle.

I suppose any masturbator like this is bound to have a bit on an instant reaction on sight, but the stark red and white contrast, and the “Thrust” text on one side and the cap leave little other options to a casual observer. One for the deeper recesses of a drawer, then.

No matter.

I pop the cap and recognise quite quickly that the sleeve has slipped a bit further down into the casing than it should have. A quick readjust later, and I can examine it further. The lips are simply, but effectively modelled. Nothing too fancy, but enough to get the imagination flowing. My particular one had a slight issue where the entry hole wasn’t quite separated properly, and I needed to poke a finger in quite deeply to snap the connection and open it up properly.

I lubed 'er up and spent some time playing around. My first reaction was a positive one. While it’s not the bumped, ribbed and ridged canal that Fleshlights tout, it’s a very subtle texture that feels quite realistic. The included beads and pressure pads don’t seem to have a lot of effect, sadly, but perhaps I don’t have the girth to get the use of them. I was pleasantly surprised at how quiet the Thrust was, too.

Cleanup wasn’t too bad, either. Flushed the insert out with some mild, warm soapy water and gave the case a clean too (the insert does tend to leak a little when placed upright) and let them both dry on the side. While the case dried quickly enough, the insert does take a very long time to naturally dry. I understand it must be a difficult thing to have the inner of a rubber tube dry quickly, but it can be frustrating if you are wanting to put it away the same day.

The only other complaint I would have, is that after owning and using the Thrust for a few weeks, the part of the casing that opens up has developed a slightly yellowish colour, while the rest of the casing remains pristine white. I’m not sure what could have caused this, as both parts got the same cleaning treatment, but it’s something to note.

I would say that this is a great entry point for anyone looking to buy a masturbator, but can’t quite justify the cost of a Fleshlight for a first time. It’s very subtle under use, and that adds to the charm.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Quiet, very quiet. Soft and subtle. Extremely good value.

Cons: Painstakingly slow to dry. Very brazen design/packaging. Beads do little. Case discolouration.

Bottom Line: Delightfully subtle and realistic. A true bargain and great for a first timer!

:medal_sports: by @ladyspock, 20 Oct 2012
Beginners Basic Lady Lustfinger Vibrator

Start at the very beginning - it’s a very good place to start

As someone who’s been interested in buying a sex toy for a while but was always put off by something-or-other, I started off with this product as a toy virgin, and am therefore in the ideal position to agree that this is the perfect toy for a beginner!

The Lustfinger is a good size, easy to hold and easy to control. It comes in very cool retro-styled packaging - at least, I thought it was cool, but maybe if you like a toy to be packaged in an explicitly sexy way it might not appeal to you as much. It’s not the kind of toy you could pass off as something else, but at least it doesn’t resemble ‘the real thing’, so it’s completely non-threatening for a beginner like me. It’s also a nice off-white colour, which I think is more visually appealing than stark white or a bright, garish colour.

From the reviews I read, I have to admit I was expecting the vibrations to be a little stronger. Not to veer into TMI territory, but I was always a get-it-over-with-quickly kind of girl, and this just didn’t do the job as quickly as I was used to. However, having gotten used to it I’ve since decided it’s worth the wait! If you’re looking for something pretty powerful, then, I would say it’s probably not for you - but for the price, it’s an excellent introduction, and even when I thought it wasn’t strong enough for me I still didn’t regret buying it.

It’s also pretty quiet - my walls are fairly thin, but I’m not worried about being heard in the next flat along. The covers mostly muffle the sound. It’s also small enough to be easy to hide in your drawer.

To cut myself off and sum up the product quickly - if you’re like me and have been waiting to try a toy out for ages, I heartily recommend this one. It’s a nice size and a great toy, and even if it turns out not to be what you’re looking for, you’ve only lost £2.99. Go on; treat yourself!

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: It’s easy to use, and the price is excellent.

Cons: The vibrations aren’t as strong as I was expecting.

Bottom Line: An excellent toy for a beginner, and easy to get used to.

:medal_sports: by @longrun, 05 Oct 2012
Mio by Je Joue Rechargeable Vibrating Cock Ring

Time for a change

My wife and I have been married many years and have always had great sex and have nearly always climaxed together. We set aside time together for sex at least twice a week and go to bed specifically for sex rather than a prelude to going to sleep. I recently made a decision to stop masturbating to pornography. This means that I am having fewer orgasms over the course of a week and it seems to have impacted on my physiology: my erection is instantaneous, and once penetrative sex has started I generally reach orgasm before my wife when before I had greater control. However my orgasms are way more intense, which is fantastic! Occasionally I can manage a second orgasm, but by no means sure-fire (geddit!)

I decided to try cock rings to try and maintain my erection for longer. I also now delay penetration and use more oral (which has been welcomed). The cock rings are great and do maintain erection somewhat after I cum, although they do not delay orgasm. They do however increase the intensity of orgasm still further (I have become louder than I used to be!).

I then realised that the other side of the equation was to increase stimulation to my beloved, and this is where the Mio has been fantastic and now it has become possible to bring her to orgasm with a huge amount of control depending where I put pressure: more pelvic bone equals greater clit stimulation and her response is graphic.

The Mio is stretchy and fits either just cock or both balls and cock with ease. I tend to use it around both because the sensation to balls and perineum is fantastic, and then I use a slim tighter cock ring at the base of my cock which keeps me hard after orgasm so she can keep riding and grinding if I do come first. The Mio is not super-tight around my cock alone and I am fairly well endowed, so I need something tighter than the Mio to really keep me rocky for a bit longer. She has used the Mio hand-held on herself too, which is great to watch, and I have plans for trying some other techniques too.

A great toy with huge possibilities. Well worth the outlay. Good sex in marriage is no optional extra!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Vibe range. Comfortable, versatile. Long: reaches partner’s clit. Fast recharge. Easy clean.

Cons: Nothing but partner says rabbit ears or similar nobbly bits would be even better!

Bottom Line: High quality item; way more than a toy. Great sensations for both genders.

:trophy: by @Preraphelite, 29 Nov 2012
Beginners Basic Slimline Butt Plug

Perfect for first-timers and quick fun

Wanting to get back into anal play after a long stay of absence, I saw this little gem in a deal and went for it. I was not disappointed.

Made of a soft, pliant jelly, it feels lovely, and pretty purple colour is very tempting. The tapered structure and very slight flare is appealing when fresh to anal, but just daunting enough to give you a shiver of anticipation.

The packaging is quite quirky, like all of the Basic Sex Toys range, and functional; strong enough to hold together for storage if you haven’t other storage plans like satin bags or otherwise.

Once inserted with a splash of lube, the plug holds the anus slightly open around the shaft of the thing, with the wider flare sitting inside, pressing on all the good bits with gentle force. The give of the material makes it feel less invasive, and I have never found it uncomfortable or even mildly painful at any point- there are no sticky-out manufacture lines either. It is very comfortable to wear, but you are equally conscious of it, stimulating you inside persistently.

I found it went in very easily with little to no preparation with fingers or other toys- in fact, the main downside to the product is how fast you will move past it. I used another toy prior to this, and because I was then relaxed the slimline plug wouldn’t stay in! However, for a quickie, it can be slid in with a little lube and will stay, giving just enough stimulation to spice up your orgasms.

I really like this product - the feel and look of it, and the fact there was no strong plastic smell when it came out of the packet. I wish there were a range of these going up in size in the same material. I would, and have, recommended this to friends interested in anal play, and would be very confident introducing this to a partner new to the subject. And, as it is so easy to insert, it is a go-to product for quick insertion and pleasure.

Overall Rating: 7 out of 10 stars

Pros: Reasonably priced, pleasant texture, easy clean and very pleasurable.

Cons: Too small - you will fast outgrow it. Sucker base = pointless.

Bottom Line: Glad to have it but am ready for something new!

:medal_sports: by @PinkPolkaDot, 20 Nov 2012
Lovehoney Mains Powered Magic Wand Vibrator

Gets you to heaven and leaves you with shaking legs

I’m one of those people who has never been bothered by magic wands. ‘The most powerful vibrator available!’ Meh used to be my response. It’s just a massive, expensive vibrator right? What could be so special about it? But then an opportunity came up where I was returning something and thought I’d get it exchanged for the Magic Wand Deluxe, seeing as everyone was buying them at that point, just to find out if it really is as amazing as people say.

I knew it was going to be bulky and probably heavy but I wasn’t expecting it to be as heavy as it is. The head is big, you can definitely tell that this wasn’t designed as a sex toy initially. I haven’t used it as a back massager but I can definitely see that it will be perfect to reach because of the sheer size of it.

I did have high expectations because I heard so many good comments about it so I got the wand and a bottle of lube ready, plugged it in and sat on the floor (I don’t have a plug socket near enough my bed and the cable is too short to reach my bed). I knew it was going to be loud so I put the TV on, locked my door, closed the curtains and sat as far away from the door possible to avoid people hearing me. Once I turned the wand on I was surprised by how quiet the first setting was, I was expecting loud, high pitched buzzing from the get go but there was nothing like that. Just a gentle buzzing, there was a lot of shaking though and not enough power. I kept turning it up to see how loud and powerful it gets and every time I did I thought ‘Surely this is the highest setting now?!’ I think I only got about 3/4 of the way through the settings though because it got way too loud by that point.

Aaaand I hated it. It took me about 40 minutes to get it in the right place to even start feeling good by which time my hand got tired from holding the massive beast and kept slipping and I couldn’t find the right place again. So I gave up and was grumpy for the whole day afterwards. Why didn’t it work for me when so many people said it was the best toy they owned? Was there something wrong with me because I didn’t enjoy it?

I decided to leave it for a few days and tried not to think about it too much. But you know what happens when you try not to think about something - you can’t help but constantly think about it! In my thinking I came to the conclusion that I am just too used to bullets which offer precision stimulation right on my clitoris and the head of the wand is just too big so it will take time to get used to.

So I decided to try again - I lied and said I was ill when all my housemates were going out just to have a free house to be able to be comfortable and as loud as I wanted to be - I felt so unsociable, but if it managed to get me an orgasm I was more than happy to do it.

I was more relaxed, didn’t have to worry about anyone overhearing and I just focused on feeling good, not trying to achieve an orgasm. And wow. Seriously. Once you manage to get the mahoosive head of the wand in the right place and keep it there it feels sensational. The vibrations are so deep they feel amazing. I found that the ridges feel better than the smooth top of the head and rocking the wand back and forth slightly helps to achieve a quicker orgasm. And what a great orgasm it was. Actually, it was more than one, more like 3 or 4 but don’t ask me for specifics because I just can’t remember - it was THAT good. I’m not loud in bed but the wand did manage to get a small squeal out of me which means some people will scream the place down when using this.

I love how the scroll control is upside down so you scroll down to go higher rather than up - it means it’s the right way up when in use so you don’t have to worry about going lower when you want to go higher, faster, quicker, harder… Yeah. The vibrations do get too intense at a particular point and make everything numb which doesn’t feel good so I tend to avoid the very high settings. The wand still gives me the strongest, quickest and most intense orgasms I’ve had though.

Because I use the ridges around the outside rather than the smooth top of head I tend to get loads of lube in there which is such a pain to clean. I have to get in there with my nails so I tend to keep them long so I can push the lube out because I don’t know how else you can clean it thoroughly. That’s literally the only slight negative but then if the ridges weren’t there it wouldn’t feel as good so I guess I shouldn’t complain.

Yes this is heavy. It’s also loud but I I’m pretty sure the noise wouldn’t be heard over your screaming. Yes, it’s big and bulky and just awkward to hold for long periods of time. But once you manage to work out what works for you there will be no need to hold it for long because you will come in what feels like seconds.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The deep vibrations and ridges in the head.

Cons: Hard to clean lube out of the ridges.

Bottom Line: Gets you to heaven and leaves you with shaking legs.

:medal_sports: by @JackieTreehorn, 02 Dec 2012
Pink Lady Stamina Training Unit STU Fleshlight

Simply The Best

From the moment I unboxed this I was just amazed by the product. The look and feel of it is incredible, I couldn’t stop touching it!

The most important thing about Fleshlights is that you do your homework and follow the instructions on how to use them. If you do this then you will be 100% satisfied.

Preparing the Fleshlight by soaking in warm water is very important. It enhances the feel of it immensely. I found about ten minutes does the trick

It is also important to use a water-based lube when using the product. Without it the Fleshlight would be impossible to use.

Cleaning is pretty straightforward, just run water through it and try to let it air dry. If this is not an option then a hairdryer can do the trick, just do not have the high temperature selected or you might damage the Fleshlight.

I do feel however that it is a must to buy the Fleshlight Powder and Antibacterial Cleaning Solution with this product. Without it the Fleshlight can become sticky and over time mould might even appear.

With the right approach however this product should last you a long time.

Now as for how well it works - this is about as close as you are going to get to the real deal. The feeling is intense and incredible. You can adjust the end cap to vary the suction so it is important to experiment to find what works best for you.

The only cons with the product for me is that there appears to be a slight discoloration to the lips and the outer edge, they have slightly yellowed and I think this is due to my area having hard water. It is not really a big deal though and you’d hardly notice it. I also didn’t like the way the word FLESHLIGHT is stamped on the outer casing. Not necessary and certainly not discreet.

Overall though I am very happy with this product and I am already considering buying another one with a different sleeve.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Sensation, design, price.

Cons: “Fleshlight” stamped on outside. Not discreet!

Bottom Line: Quite simply this is a mind-blowing product.

:medal_sports: by @Dr_Erotica, 22 Nov 2012
Icicles No 25 Smooth Glass Butt Plug

Treat your butt to a glass plug

To make receiving my toy even more brilliant, it arrived a day earlier than expected! Good start.

When my housemate knocked on my door with the signature brown parcel Lovehoney are known for it took all my strength not to snatch it from her and shut the door in her face! Once all the standard pleasantries were covered I could finally unwrap my toy.

First of all the packaging is stunning. You really do feel like you are buying a high quality piece. Once I had pried the plug from the foam encasing I was amazed by just how weighty it was. The glass was perfectly smooth, I couldn’t feel a single imperfection.

Once the obligatory text to the boyfriend was sent (you know the one: ‘just got my new toy in the post, can’t wait to try it out with you, but first things first, my turn’) it was time to give it a go.

Now, I definitely wouldn’t describe myself as an anal novice, but this toy was certainly a step up from what I was used to. I think what I didn’t take into account when selecting this plug was just how unyielding glass is (this being my first ever glass toy). But wow. The feeling of the cold glass is something else. Although I certainly didn’t find it easy to fit, once I had the feeling was total bliss. It wasn’t long before I was well on my way to happy town.

Perhaps attempting this toy without warm up was a little optimistic, but what can I say: I like to live dangerously!

I am still very much looking forward to incorporating more temperature play with this toy as well as using it with my partner! From my brief experiment with this plug I felt that it would be perfectly comfortable for longer term wear, and sitting with it in was great.

All in all, a total steal for something this high quality and beautiful. I say, treat your backside to a glass plug and you won’t regret it!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Beautifully crafted with a lovely weight. Feels incredible in your hand and better elsewhere!

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: A brilliant first glass toy, no regrets about my purchase.

:medal_sports: by @Hatchoooo, Nov 2012
Oyster Max Remote Control Vibrator

More than a gimmick

Firstly there are some downsides to the Oyster. It’s expensive and it’s a bit fiddly to set up, some panties are better than others at keeping the vibe in the crucial spot and since the vibes aren’t the strongest in the world the bullet does need to be positioned precisely. This means the Oyster isn’t quite powerful enough to take Mrs Hatchooooo over the edge… It can aaalllllllmost do it but she has to actually apply some pressure for the orgasm to happen. We can’t quite work out whether that’s genius or a failing! It makes the Oyster something of a tease and means that while you can have an orgasm in your car or in a taxi, or even on a train (all of which were brilliant!), unless you’re very sensitive you won’t have an orgasm in the queue at Sainsbury’s… which on balance is probably a relief for everybody.

The battery pack also needs a bit of thinking about as it’s not the easiest thing to conceal. My wife couldn’t wear a slinky dress without the pack showing and that’s a shame as the sheer naughtiness of using this at smart functions is what makes the Oyster really brilliant and just hysterically naughty!

Whether you use the Oyster when you’re out shopping for the day, at a restaurant, at Cheltenham racecourse, or perhaps throughout a very smart but dull drinks party (the last two are highly recommended) it does gradually drive you both wild. It’s really just endlessly protracted foreplay… in public. I can promise you’ll end up having to race home or back to your hotel for some rampant privacy.

From a guy’s perspective the fun isn’t just about you buzzing her either… It’s also great when you’re out and she has control of her own vibrations. Sitting at a bar having some cocktails I was shocked and delighted to notice a flushed and slightly distracted look come over my wife’s face as the good looking barman was chatting with us as he made our drinks. A sly smile and a slight crossing of her eyes confirmed she was thoroughly enjoying life with the Oyster!

Neither of us were initially sure we would get much out of this toy, not being out and out exhibitionists, but it’s gone from seeming like an expensive gimmick to a brilliant bargain.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Foreplay in public that’s silent and safe.

Cons: A bit of a fiddle to use.

Bottom Line: Better than we imagined and worth the cost.

:medal_sports: by @All-nighter, 27 Nov 2012
Bondage Boutique Almosta 4Posta Under The Bed Restraint Gear

New dimension to sensual play, squirm factor 10

My amazing girlfriend and I love sensual play and light s&m and we have recently enjoyed a newfound interest in bondage, mostly thanks to this! When she spotted this on Lovehoney we were both hugely turned on by the possibilities!

When the package arrived the very next day (Thank you once again Lovehoney!) we couldn’t wait to try it out. It doesn’t come with instructions but they really aren’t needed as it is so simple to assemble, fit and adjust it.

My bed is a king-size frame bed so we decided to simply pass the straps under the whole bed rather than under the mattress. Just a quick note, I don’t think this would easily fit a larger bed so if yours is huge you might want to get 2 and attach them together! Within 5 minutes it was assembled, in place and ready to go, and so were we!

The straps are very easy to adjust and the cuffs are soft and held in place with strong velcro. Once fitted it is extremely comfortable to wear, but still provides a fairly secure grip. I imagine it would be possible to escape but neither of us has ever wanted to try! My girlfriend fancied the idea of having her hands tied together. It was simple to remove two cuffs from the straps and link them together. I reckon there are numerous other possibilities just waiting to be discovered!

Adding a sense of helplessness to one partner and control to the other heightens all those sensations, from a light tickle to a little sting with a soft whip, and from an ice cube to hot massage wax. All it needs is the Almosta 4Posta and trust in your partner and a world of exploration is yours! There are few things sexier than the sight and sound of your partner squirming, squealing and groaning with pleasure and delight!

If you enjoy a trusting relationship and are willing to give and take control, buy this now, I’m so glad we did!

Overall Rating: 9 out 10 stars

Pros: Secure, comfortable, easy to use, easy to adjust, versatile. Just great!

Cons: No complaints at all!

Bottom Line: Amazing addition to our toy box!

:trophy: by @eee, 10 Dec 2012
Tracey Cox Supersex Limited Edition Bullet Vibrator

Tracey Cox Supersex Limited Edition Bullet Vibrator

Nyeeeeeeeeg

Genuine sound I made after usage. ;D

Seriously, where has this little gem been all my life?

This was sent to me after a previous bullet decided to break, the cap popping off while being used, kind of ruining the moment. I was worried this would be a problem with most bullets.

Not the Tracey Cox Supersex 3 Speed Secretvibe Bullet! I can tell you know that this bullet is the best thing I can bring into the bedroom.

First of all, let’s start with the bullet. It’s a beautiful shade of glittery pink, with mottled effects all over it. The button and trimmings are black. It’s nice and sturdy, and unlike my last bullet, no popping cap! I can relax and not have to worry it’ll stop working halfway through a session. It’s a nice size to use solo, or with a partner, and since I need a bullet to climax, this is perfectly sized for me.

There are three speeds. It’s stupidly easy to use, press the button to go through the speeds. Yes, you have to scroll through (which some people put as a -bad- thing, but it’s simple. It only takes a few seconds.

Off → Speed 1 → Speed 2 → Speed 3 → Off

I don’t often use the final speed, as the first two are good enough for me, but maybe when the battery wears down or I become less sensitive then it will be used more. The first setting is nice, and I don’t find it too intense, so I’d reckon this item is good for beginners. It is also reasonably quiet, it is certainly not audible if you are living in a flat or something. If you are under the covers it will muffle it anyway.

It comes with two batteries, one inside the bullet, and one in a slot inside the tin, which means you can begin using it right away!

The tin is lovely, and can be put in a handbag or something without attracting too much attention. It looks similar to those Bodyform tins you could get for free with packs of their sanitary towels (only a bit thicker to accommodate for the bullet). Worse case scenario, if someone were to realise it were a bullet tin, it can only be that they have one also. :wink:

My only flaw is that sometimes you can hear the bullet rattle when in the tin. There is foam holding it in place, so it may just be the way mine is cut, but generally, it’s fine. :slight_smile:

Like someone else suggested in their review, this can be removed and filled with condoms and sachets of lube if one prefers. ;D

I believe I have covered everything… It’s a fantastic little bullet. Regardless if this would be your first or 10th bullet, I think this is suitable for everyone.

Also, a huge thank you to LH customer services for being super awesome as always! <3

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10

Pros: The tin, colour, speeds, reliability…

Cons: There is nothing whatsoever.

Bottom Line: This bullet is what comes between Good Sex and Mind-blowing Sex. =]

:medal_sports: by @Suzi, 22 Dec 2012
10 Function Super Slim Remote Control Bullet Vibrator

Fun, but expensive on batteries

As we both enjoy public play, we’ve tried a few remote control toys over the last couple of years. I wanted to try this as it’s more flexible in use than most.

  1. It has batteries inside the bullet, so you don’t need to wear a separate battery box.

  2. It’s big enough to insert and feel the vibrations, but still small enough to slip into your nix for clitoral stimulation (my preferred option).

  3. It’s quiet enough to use anywhere (try using a Miyakodori bullet at full speed on a wooden pub bench you’re sharing with strangers!).

  4. The remote has an option to turn it off (some don’t).

All these should add up to the perfect public play toy, but in the end I was a little disappointed for two main reasons.

  1. The batteries really don’t last long unless your OH is very sparing in it’s use (my OH isn’t!).

  2. The vibrations were nice, lots of variation, but for me not quite powerful enough. You’re not going to climax while dancing in a club with this! To be fair, it was enough to keep me turned on all evening which does lead to some great sex later!

I suppose these are downsides you have to accept in a remote toy with internal batteries. Hopefully one day they will come up with new battery technology that will revolutionise transport and the sex toy industry! Until then you have to spend a fortune on batteries if you want to use something like this all evening.

In the meantime this will get used sometimes when I’m wearing a slinky dress, but it’s back to my trusty Miyakodori for a more full-on experience!

Overall Rating: 7 out of 10 stars

Pros: Discreet and easy to control from the remote.

Cons: Not powerful enough, eats batteries.

Bottom Line: A fun product for occasional use.