i agree rose.
also i think there is the aspect of just giving and recieving pleasure when the moment is right.
sometimes wont matter whos hand or mouth if you are in the right place x
i agree that bi curiosity is becomming more common. maybe its also an age thing - we settle down in a relationship, become secure and then let our fantasies come to the surface.
from my part i can not envisage a scenario where i am in a relationship with another woman but would love to make love to another woman whilst my husband watches / joins in.
also i think we care less about what people see as normal as we get older
I'm happily married for 10 years. We have a very exciting sex life and experiment with each other and have very open conversation s etc...
What sexuality would I be if I can imagine sex with some men I find attractive, but obviously find a lot not sexy. But then the same goes for women, I kind of judge people on everything BUT their gender. ???
Thanks x
Bisexuality?
Bi-curious?
Pansexuality/Omnisexuality?
Polysexuality?
There are all sorts of labels for people and their sexual preferences. Personally, I see sexuality as a continuum, with what is probably an 'unusual' minority at either extreme ends of that continuum and the rest of us somewhere in between, sometimes not even being sure ourselves where we might actually be on that continuum or maintaining the same position on it over the longer term.
I suspect that our sexuality is often a lot more fluid than we either recognise in ourselves or society is even yet still not able to grasp and accept. And it is not that as a species that we have not always probably been like that. Rather it is morte likely it has been supressed for so long by what has really been a rather bizarre exercise in social control, that is only now losing it's grip, notwithstanding recoginzing practical issues that have and still do impose on our mores for practical considerations, like disease control or societal integrity.
No matter how liberal our mores might become, we all still want some rules, some framework within which to operate and understand how othes will interact with us. That framework is just getting a lot more complex as people increase their personal understanding of it and what drives it.
Are we even capable, for the most part, of distinguishing as to whether our sexual preferences are innate, gene-driven, or driven by social conditioning or even a combination of the two?
If gays are born, then what does that tell us about those who self-identify and supposedly choose to be bi-sexual and operate on it, differently, at different stages of their lives? How many people experiment with their sexuality during childhood, especially in their teen years, post-puberty, before orienting towards heterosexuality or homosexuality, as they mature? And what process(es) orient us one way or another? Are they really set in stone, at conception, despite latter experimentation, or are they a lot more fluid and subject to external influences than many would otherwise care to accept?
In respect of the latter notion I don't accept that even if that is the case that homosexuality is a disease that is or should be subject to treatment, becuase if we are all capable of potentially being bi-sexual, then as far as I an concerned there is no diease, ie biological abnormality, and the argument that sex is primarly, if not solely, for procreation is a foundationless premise. You might as well try to start an argument that to be left-handed is a disease becuase left-handed people are in the minority and that therefore it should be corrected. To me, sex is a very primeval, fundamental form of communication and social interaction. It's a social lubricant that goes way beyond it's perfunctory role in procreation.
As an aside, why are women born with clitorises, whose only function is sexual pleasure, if the purpose of sex is only procreation? And why does men's penises evolve from those clitorises (and associated physical components) into penises that have to serve a purpose other than for sexual pleasure? What are the evolutionary ramifications? Are there any or is it just a 'happy' accident of evolution?
I have another half-baked theory that rattles around in my head that sexuality is really only a sub-component, physiologically, psychologically and emotionally of sensuality. That is that experience we may seek and experience based on primarily tactile and physical experience but that is augmented by both visual and auditory experience and even olifactory experiences. How many people can enjoy looking at the naked body either in art, or in real-time experience, and experience pleasure in it without necessarily overt sexual connotations? How many people can and do experience physical massage without sexual connotations? Why do we greet people with physical contact and give it greater value and significance over mere vocal greeting? Why do we kiss, sometimes in a sexual context, but also in a non-sexual context and still drive siginificant satisfaction from it? Hiow many ardently heterosexual men might get turned on by masturbating themselves in front of other similar heterosexual men, without there ever being any physical contact betwewen them in, say, a jerk circle? Is that a sign of homosexual tendencies or just a sign of someone turning themsleves on to their own sexuality with the aid of someone else's close presence?
And of course, in terms of homosexuality or bi-sexuality, we are not even unique as a species. Other species engage in such activity, presumably without the same capacity for self-reflection on the phenomenon.
So you takes your pick, as far as I am concerned, and you exercise whatever personal responsbility for potential and actual outcomes that involves, whether that be issues over the spread of disease or in terms of morality expressed in terms of trust and respect. Any particular sexual orientation is not an adjunct of morality nor sexual hygiene. You can be a rampant, raving, 100% heterosexual but still be a 100% spreader of disease and a morally bankrupt reprobate to boot. Hell, when it comes to the latter, you can even be asexual and still an absolute c*nt. If some homosexuals can abuse their opposite gender partners as sexual 'beards' then what might that say about asexuals who enter into a relationship based on trust with someone else with no intention of engaging in any sex, of any kind, whatsoever?
R has been bi for quite a while, and early on in our relationship we went to a bi night at our local swinger club. While she was with another women I (G) touched and eventually I had mutual oral with the other female's husband - both acts were firsts for me. It was quite a revelation - I loved it! It hasn't been the last time, either. There's nothing shameful in trying, despite the general male homophobia usually around, many men do these things.
Im actually someone who would regard myself as 100% straight. That's not because im homophobic its just i find the idea of me and another man having sex to be repulsive. Now my brother is gay and i love him and his partner dearly, they make a great couple. Im sure that the idea of sex with a woman would disgust my brother. Im not homophobic, im comfortable with my sexuality but could never consider sex with a man. Hope i didnt offend anyone. Just being honest.DavidB1986 wrote:
I would say it's perfectly normal to be curious. By our very nature, we are all curious about all sorts of things. Sexuality is not a black/white thing. Sure there are those that will say 'I am 100% gay/straight' but from my own personal experience, no one is 100% anything.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
I'm sure you are probably aware of the work Kinsey did regarding human sexuality. If not, you might find the above link quite interesting :) x
i can answer for my husband he would not like to be with a man . hes all four it with another women tho . it wouldnt bother me tho.
Ron Burgundy wrote:
Im actually someone who would regard myself as 100% straight. That's not because im homophobic its just i find the idea of me and another man having sex to be repulsive. Now my brother is gay and i love him and his partner dearly, they make a great couple. Im sure that the idea of sex with a woman would disgust my brother. Im not homophobic, im comfortable with my sexuality but could never consider sex with a man. Hope i didnt offend anyone. Just being honest.DavidB1986 wrote:
I would say it's perfectly normal to be curious. By our very nature, we are all curious about all sorts of things. Sexuality is not a black/white thing. Sure there are those that will say 'I am 100% gay/straight' but from my own personal experience, no one is 100% anything.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
I'm sure you are probably aware of the work Kinsey did regarding human sexuality. If not, you might find the above link quite interesting :) x
No offence taken here. I guess what I meant is, I know plenty of guys who identify as totally straight but can appreciate a 'good looking' guy etc, therefore I would kind of put them just shy of 100%. I mean myself, personally, wouldn't say I was 100% gay, I have kissed women and I can appreciate a good looking woman, I just wouldn't sleep with them, as it's not my thing! So on the kinsey scale for example, I would probably fall in the Level 5 (Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual).
But as people have said, sexuality is such a fluid subject that I really don't believe in labelling any more. You are what you are.
DavidB1986 wrote:
But as people have said, sexuality is such a fluid subject that I really don't believe in labelling any more. You are what you are.
Very true. I have always had gay friends and don't find gay sex repulsive at all. I have wondered if I was bisexual, but I'm definitely not because I don't find men attractive at all. It's a bit like your mates fancying a girl that you don't find attractive. I understand why they find her attractive, it's just that I don't. It's sort of the same with attractive men.
Not sure if that makes any sense?
I can totally appreciate a good looking guy I just wouldn't want to have sex with him. Strangely I've been out with my friends and commented on how some guys were outrageously good looking only to be ridiculed for doing so.
Just to clarify, im not saying I find homosexuality or gay sex to be repulsive. I believe what consenting adults get up to is their own business. But the idea of me and another man having sex actually freaks me out.
Im sure some gay guys would find the thought of sex with a woman to be equally repulsive. I should probably stop digging now that im in a hole.
I've witnessed some of the shit my brother and his boyfriend have had to contend with, i don't judge. Each to their own.
Ron Burgundy wrote:
Just to clarify, im not saying I find homosexuality or gay sex to be repulsive. I believe what consenting adults get up to is their own business. But the idea of me and another man having sex actually freaks me out.
Im sure some gay guys would find the thought of sex with a woman to be equally repulsive. I should probably stop digging now that im in a hole.
I've witnessed some of the shit my brother and his boyfriend have had to contend with, i don't judge. Each to their own.
I don't think you've come across as homophobic at all. :-)
The difference with me is that I don't find the idea of me having gay sex repulsive, I just don't find men attractive. I'm also 100% monogamous and so I'm not going to explore my own sexuality at all.
Ron, don't worry, I completely understand where you are coming from.
DavidB1986 wrote:
I would say it's perfectly normal to be curious. By our very nature, we are all curious about all sorts of things. Sexuality is not a black/white thing. Sure there are those that will say 'I am 100% gay/straight' but from my own personal experience, no one is 100% anything.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
I'm sure you are probably aware of the work Kinsey did regarding human sexuality. If not, you might find the above link quite interesting :) x
Hi David, as with Ron, I think I have to differ with your view. I would also consider myself to be 100% straight and have never considered any form of sexual contact with another man from my childhood to today and have often been called an Alpha Male. So I guess my answer to FM's original question is no!
I would love to give it try as long as the guy is clean and no drugs but finding mr right is the hard part
I would love to give it try as long as the guy is clean and no drugs but finding mr right is the hard part
Me and wife had threesome years ago with my friend (it was her idea after night out as he was staying at ours) during it he came to suck me abd I pushed him away but wife said its ok. I let him carry on and enjoyed it. Later I joined wife in sucking him. I enjoyed it so much.. Actually probably slept about 2 hours.. Was so horny after that. Years later we had threesome again. We do suck lots never fucked thoughFireMonkey wrote:
I'm a straight man who is happily married. I enjoy sex with my wife and enjoy the 'normal' type of porn a straight man would enjoy. However, i have always had a curiosity about having a sexual experience with a man. Whether it be just playing around or full on sex. I enjoy gay and bi porn. I fantasise about gay sex. I would like to believe that most men think about the idea of gay sex and get off on it. Or is this just wishful thinking, that I am not alone. My queries to the men out there:I'm curious how many straight men out there actually think about gay sex. How many like me are in a relationship and would like to try a sexual act with another man. How often do you fantasise and have you ever acted on it?
I had a same sex experience at university. It started with me and a friend watching porn he had brought from home. This was straight porn and we used to masturbate whilst watching. Then he started touching me and I thought āok this feels okā but I drew the line at him wanting to blow me. My wife and I have watched gay porn after she watched lesbian porn. To be honest I preferred bisexual porn as I have always enjoyed looking at women. I agree with the other guys here who have said that no one is 100% straight or gay, we are where ever we are on the spectrum.
I know what you mean alsoā¦ I have experimented with anal penetration alone for as long as I have been masterbating. Love the sensations, always felt wrong though. I assume just the stigma and I had never told anyone. In my late teens I dated a girl who was more experienced than and we had awesome sex. One time we were hot and heavy in her bed. She went down on me and shortly she was rubbing my anus with her finger, then slightly penetrated. With the oral, it was the greatest thing ever (so far). Next thing I knew she was using her vibrater instead of her finger. All of the sudden she took me completely in her mouthbsnd sucked hard and at the same time inserted the vibrater and switched it to highā¦ OMG! Seconds later i had the most intense orgasm ever.
Since then, no other woman seemed slightly into doing that. So i continued my anal play solo. She also introduced me to her sexy silk panties. After sex, we always swapped and wore the others underwear home. I had a hour drive home and I could smell sex all the wsy. I admit I never had the confidence to start a conversation with any woman until my current (3rd) wife. We tried a strapless strap on, but it didnt go well and she has no interest to try again. She and I were very open and talked about sex and likes and dislikes more than i had ever before.
One time using a toy, I indulged her fantasy of DP. She admitted it was awesome, and also added that no toy is nearly as good as the real thing.
So after all the years of my solo anal play, I now had this bug in my head that said the real thing could be MUCH betterā¦ fantasies started and grew. I started wearing womens sexy lingerie under my clothes. Fantasies started about getting caught by another manā¦ i have logged into gay dating apps when i was really obsessed with the fantasy, but I have never gone through with meeting another man.
My wife doesnt approve of my secret CD practices. And definitely wouldnt understand this fantasy
I consider myself straight, I love women, every thing about sex with women. I have no attraction to men ehatsoeverā¦ oops except ony men have cocks and I crave having another man give it to me like i do my wife. Its a little cloudy now, but I still believe it all stems from wanting to experience the difference between a toy and the real thingā¦
Wow, well I intended to agree and understand the OP, I didnt intend on writing a novelā¦ thanks for reading. You all are the first to be told this side of me from beginning to end. Although there are many incidentals in between that added along the way, but I have some other things to attend to this weekā¦haha