As the title suggests we want to start using toys as a couple in our relationship.
recently paul has been very kind and spent quite a bit of money on some lovely luxury vibes like the Vibe therapy Serene etc...
we also want to get some reviews underway, so i really want to get passed my hang-ups about sex toys and start enjoying them both with paul, and on my own. but firstly with paul.
from what i read and seen most of you girls look like you really enjoy your toys and i want to be one of those girls.
right now whats on my mind is this....
i would like to 'set the mood' for us both to have some fun with one or two of our toys.
obviously we will wait untill wee man is asleep and paul has just said we dont have to have sex or anything he says he wants it to be all about me enjoying myself and relaxing.
i really want this to work so any suggestions would be appreciated we have some nice cds and candles etc plus we have a leopard print fleece throw and obviously if im brave enough i have plenty of lingerie to choose from ranging from really pretty to right down kinky.
Foreforeplay! Try and feel as sexy or relaxed as you can before you even get near P. Get a quiet bath beforehand, read an erotic book (Ad likes this bit) just do what ever you do that helps you switch off.
Once you feel ready to feel sexy if you don't already maybe then try to. Perhaps you might like P to take slow charge so you can relax. Ad is a sucker for kisses (really, she'll put out loads for a few smootches), just use what works for you.
Don't focus on anything, you don't need to try your toys, they should add to sex not make you feel like you need to use them.
Start wih toys that are not for the genitals to set the mood and move on to the heavy stuff when you feel ready. Massages can work well, I like to give and recieve hand massages and then eventually get some genital stimulation, it makes things about pleasure and feeling good rather than sex.
Building anticipation can work wonders, it stops you thinking about the negatives.
For some people it can work better using them alone first, but not for others.
Remember orgasms are bonuses not the be all and end all.
If the evening is just supposed to be all about you, it's his job to work out what you like and do it right. Everyone is different... best tip I can suggest: keep your toys close (bedside drawer/table/etc. You don't want to be in the middle of a 'romantic embrace' then have to walk across the other side of the room, find the batteries/etc. A little bit of planning might be the best tip I can give.
Candles are good as low lighting really helps set a warm, cosy atmosphere. If the light from the candles isn't enough, use a lamp rather than turning on the light, as this will help the mood more.
Candles are good as low lighting really helps set a warm, cosy atmosphere. If the light from the candles isn't enough, use a lamp rather than turning on the light, as this will help the mood more.
weve got loads of candles and we can probably drape something over the lamp.
some sexy music from pauls new rod stewart cds (the old school type)
It really does depend on which toys you wish to try incorporating first. Personally for sensual toy usage I enjoy starting out with some massage oil, possibly scented candles and wearing something that feels nice against my skin which I know he likes the look of. Keep the toys to hand and bring them in when you are relaxed. I find alternating between him having control of vibes and using them is best unless we're using ropes, cuffs or tape etc.
The bath and erotic literature idea is good, as is not going straight for the kill as it were :)
I'd suggest as it's your first time to just go with the flow. Try and be as relaxed as you can be- wearing anything that you feel comfortable with and/or sexy.
Don't be embarassed to say whether you enjoy or really like something as well as if you're uncomfortable or don't like something...
I'd suggest as it's your first time to just go with the flow. Try and be as relaxed as you can be- wearing anything that you feel comfortable with and/or sexy.
Don't be embarassed to say whether you enjoy or really like something as well as if you're uncomfortable or don't like something...
Have fun and enjoy. =]
xXx
thanks hun
i will be relaxed and i will try and wear something sexy. i just need to get passed my negative way of thinking, up in till now ive been so anti-lingerie, anti-toys, anti-positions etc. i dont know why im like this to be honest
i will be relaxed and i will try and wear something sexy. i just need to get passed my negative way of thinking, up in till now ive been so anti-lingerie, anti-toys, anti-positions etc. i dont know why im like this to be honest
xx
Hm, I think this is something you'll have to overcome slowly. Try and see it as a way of treating yourself.
You have nothing to feel guilty about. I was a little similar due to a strict upbringing but I've always been quite liberal. My OH helped discover a whole new way of expressing myself. Toys and other stimulants can help. =]
