So am in a relationship with a girl who told me early on in the relationship that she is a virgin. Never been in this situation before so does anyone have any tips on how to make the experience perfect for her to enjoy.
I also have said to her that when it happens that if she wanted to stop at any stage before then it is fine with me and would understand completely.
Most important thing is always communication - beforehand, throughout and afterwards. Remember not to take it too seriously and that the priority is you both have fun :) Also, however much she's into you and comfortable with you, it's pretty much certain she's going to be extremely nervous so anything you can do to take the pressure of her will help
Before you even contemplate sex , I would suggest having some get naked nights together first perhaps in conjunction with just some cuddling and kissing. Seeing you partner naked for the first time , whilst exciting can also be a daunting prospect all the same. Take everything slowly and communicate with each other and make sure not to pressure. Let her take the lead and you guide her .
Make sure as well your environment is secure from intrusion.Perhaps have dimmed lighting, drinks ,warmth and perhaps some back ground music .
Take it slowly, lube up well and stay safe! Communicate with her, let her set the pace. Enjoy it!
My only advice is wait till she's ready, and be sure she 100% is. Don't rush her or pressure her into anything, and make sure she feels 100% safe and comfortable with you.
I had a bad experience with my first time. My partner just rushed me and pressured me and it still haunts me today and I never had a normal sexual life because of the trauma.
Please, take care of her
May I say that you sound very caring and considerate of her and I doubt many girls have witnessed this on their first time. I commend you on coming on here and asking our advice, but it sounds to me that you don't really need it. I was going to say just take it slowly, without pressure but you already intend on doing this. Just do as you normally would but slower and gentler, with lots of kissing, stroking all of her, get her skin covered in goosebumps and don't forget to stroke her face and eye contact with reassuring words. I personally would have freaked out if any oral was given before hand (unless you've already done this with her) but a bit of fingering is needed, just to get the juices going to make penetration easier for both of you. If you own any toys don't think about using them, just make it about you and her. Don't forget the cuddles after and their could be a bit of blood, from the Hymen breaking so don't freak out about that. The first time is more about the emotional experience than the physical experience for a woman anyway in my opinion. 😊
Do let us know how you got on as your feedback could help others in the same position as you 😊
As others have said, communication is key. Never do anything unless it's clear she's happy with it. If you're using a condom, put it on well before you try to enter her so there's no fiddling about at the last minute. I've found that it's better for the girl to go on top her first time (again, only if she's happy with that) so she can control how far you penetrate her and when. And when you are inside her, thrust slowly the first time and just stay still for a while if it she's in a lot of discomfort - or withdraw and try again later. And yes, lots and lots of cuddles afterwards! All the best to you both.
Hi sunders, firstly you sound very considerate which is good.
What have you already done together? It could be that you have done lots of gentle build up without even knowing it. As others have said communication is the key. But this doesn't have to be verbal, streight questions and answers can be awkward. Try more "how does that feel" while your kissing her neck or tracing your fingers down her back. Try placing her hands on your waist under your top so she gets to feel your skin.
Being naked together before sex I think is very important, and I think one of the easiest ways to do this is in the bathroom. "I'm going for a shower, would you like to join me", or run her a bath full of bubbles (allows her to hide her modesty of she wants to) candles and massage her pages or back. Non sexual physical contact will give her confidence.
Take things slowly and please be safe.
Fun Louise wrote:
Hi sunders, firstly you sound very considerate which is good.
What have you already done together? It could be that you have done lots of gentle build up without even knowing it. As others have said communication is the key. But this doesn't have to be verbal, streight questions and answers can be awkward. Try more "how does that feel" while your kissing her neck or tracing your fingers down her back. Try placing her hands on your waist under your top so she gets to feel your skin.
Being naked together before sex I think is very important, and I think one of the easiest ways to do this is in the bathroom. "I'm going for a shower, would you like to join me", or run her a bath full of bubbles (allows her to hide her modesty of she wants to) candles and massage her pages or back. Non sexual physical contact will give her confidence.
Take things slowly and please be safe.
+1 I was going also going to suggest a bath or a shower to help to relax her, but the lovely FL beat me to it - lol. There is some great advice here from everyone, and I can only echo what everyone has already said. I think that the fact you came on here looking for advice shows how caring you are. As long as you take things slowly and listen to her, I am sure everything will be fine xx
I am a big advocate for 'it happens when it happens' rather than setting a date and time for losing your virginity. The less pressure that she feels under, the more likely she is to relax and the less it could hurt her. Like others have said, you sound very considerate which will put her at ease.
Relaxation is key to having a stress-free, pain-free and enjoyable first time in my opinion - for both of you! Just go with the flow. :)
Thank you all so far for the advice on my circumstances. As for what we have already done, I have given her some gentle fingering with her bottoms still on her, mainly cause she is conscious of how her body / legs look down there. Told her not to worry as sure she is just as beautiful. Also have sucked on her nipples and she has given me a hand job after fearing she would doing something I would not like. She has also rode me while both still fully clothed. Thanks againFun Louise wrote:
Hi sunders, firstly you sound very considerate which is good.
What have you already done together? It could be that you have done lots of gentle build up without even knowing it. As others have said communication is the key. But this doesn't have to be verbal, streight questions and answers can be awkward. Try more "how does that feel" while your kissing her neck or tracing your fingers down her back. Try placing her hands on your waist under your top so she gets to feel your skin.
Being naked together before sex I think is very important, and I think one of the easiest ways to do this is in the bathroom. "I'm going for a shower, would you like to join me", or run her a bath full of bubbles (allows her to hide her modesty of she wants to) candles and massage her pages or back. Non sexual physical contact will give her confidence.
Take things slowly and please be safe.
sunders46 wrote:
Thank you all so far for the advice on my circumstances. As for what we have already done, I have given her some gentle fingering with her bottoms still on her, mainly cause she is conscious of how her body / legs look down there. Told her not to worry as sure she is just as beautiful. Also have sucked on her nipples and she has given me a hand job after fearing she would doing something I would not like. She has also rode me while both still fully clothed. Thanks againFun Louise wrote:
Hi sunders, firstly you sound very considerate which is good.
What have you already done together? It could be that you have done lots of gentle build up without even knowing it. As others have said communication is the key. But this doesn't have to be verbal, streight questions and answers can be awkward. Try more "how does that feel" while your kissing her neck or tracing your fingers down her back. Try placing her hands on your waist under your top so she gets to feel your skin.
Being naked together before sex I think is very important, and I think one of the easiest ways to do this is in the bathroom. "I'm going for a shower, would you like to join me", or run her a bath full of bubbles (allows her to hide her modesty of she wants to) candles and massage her pages or back. Non sexual physical contact will give her confidence.
Take things slowly and please be safe.
Perhaps a body stocking may help her with her confidence .You seem to be doing everything right by taking it slowly .