Should the spark in the relationship ever disappear?
Im starting to think my wife has lost the spark that we once had?
What do you think?
Get her some erotic literature. Certainly worked for me. But other things to work at are going on dates out. Candlelit baths and massage. Kissing and cuddling without thinking its about sex. Talking and listening. But without know the ins and outs of the relationship this is the only advice I can suggest. Life's not the fairy tale the movies make out and really require effort on both parts. Remember what dating was like and try to make the same kind of effort:)
That's the problem its me making all the effort.
Well maybe you need to have a good chat. Find out what's wrong. But listen carefully. It certainly takes effort from both parties for a relationship.
I agree with the erotic literature idea. I bought the Mrs 50SOG in June and we went f rom 3 good sessions a month to every night. Best buy from LH ever.
I've got to agree with that; people can say what they want about it being poorly written crap, but keeping kinky sex on her mind certainly meant a lot more fun times in the bedroom.
She read all 3. Didn't work either that or she is having an affair but i don't think she would
Have you tried reading some eroticfiction to each other ? it may be worth a try if she enjoys erotic fiction
we lost our spark - sex was a bit dull and near non existant. The best thing we did was have a heart to heart. Various things had happened over the space of about 2 years, a family member was seriously ill and a redundancy as well so quite stressful.
Best thing we ever did. We have a much much better relationship both sexual and non sexual. Now we complain if we dont have sex several times a week never mind a year!
A lot of things can cause loss of interest in sex, its not automatically something telling of you or the relationship. Stress, illness, hormones, other physical stuff, even little things can have a big impact. Having a talk about it is a good step, but it needs to be gently done so there isn't any pressure, let her know you care and still want to be intimate with her, ask if anything is wrong, and depending how she answers lt her know that you would like the reassurance she still has a spark for you. That way if something IS causing it (I don't know all the details, and honestly sometimes it can wane for a while for no apparent reason), you can work on it together. Communication is vital in a relationship, don't let it stew in your mind and make more worry for you. x
Don't focus on the sex, look to rekindle the attraction. Don't pester, out will make things worse. Do nice things together, make her feel like things are new and special. The sex will come. It's not easy and can be massively depressing for you but the effort wool either be worth it or you'll know it's not. Bit tipsy, can be more coherent another time
Its not just the sex. There just nothing there feels really flat if you understand that. Will just have to wait and see what happens
Thanks everyone
We use to sit on separate sofas and basically not communicate. It hurt, he's my best friend and we didn't talk.
We went away for our anniversary and well the sex and the talking was like old times. We got home went back to normal.
The conversation started with why aren't we like we were on our wedding anniversary ? Lots of heart to hearts - it really was the best thing. I've got my best friend back
That's exactly how it is. We been together 8 1/2 years but married nearly 10 months.Dnot talk just argue. Its getting me down now.
Hi Milf lover sorry to hear about your troubles , have been through the same thing many times it helps if you both can talk about your troubles this is not easy. I read in one of your earlier threads that you were buying OH some sexy lingerie and wanted to get so toys, did she like what you gave her or did this start your arguments? Hope this is of some help.
Hi scotman
No she didn't like them. Caused more arguements as the thought i am trying to turn her into someone she's not. Talking ends up in row's.
Not argued today but still time yet
Thanks for replys
Hi it would be lovely to be in a sex and romance filled relationship every day of our lives but life gets in the way. We always have a bit of a sex lull when we have a baby, tiredness, milky boobs and a baby in the middle of the bed isn't great for a relationship but it passes.
Do you think she could feel a bit neglected, maybe book a nice weekend away, get some treats like massage oils, chocolates, champagne and just have some quality time together.
Sometimes just making time to sit and have a cuddle works, its so easy just not to bother. Good luck x
Thanks ilovemyman
We don't get much time together. She is older then me by 13 years and has always felt she not good enough for me and worried what ppl say bout the age gap.
She not a champagne drinker but she does like her chocs. Getting me us time is always hard with the kids being round. She my world and love her loads. Like you said prob just down to stress and strains of life. We got time booked off in March with no kids so hoping that will make her happy.
Thanks peps
Aaah it's so hard isn't it, kids do put a strain on everything, its difficult to have any quality time together. It must be hard for her but you sound gret, just keep supporting her and buy her chocolate hahaha x
She does hey flowers at least once a month. Im not bigging myself up but i do think there worst OH out the.
How would you want ur man to boost your confidence if you had no confidence in yourself. If that makes any sense?