Believe it or not I have a stalker. Its only in the confines of a club at the moment but its happened now 2 weeks on the run. Its fair to say that she isnt attractive but never the less I am not interested. She even had the gal;l to help herself to my wifes bottle of wine but cant provie it . My wife at the time had only one gless but equivalent of 2 glasses had gone!
She just follows me around apart from the Gents and watches everything I do . This made me feel down a bit on Saturday ( see Eye contact thread ) .
She hasnt broke any rules as such so I cant get her removed from the club .
Any ideas ?
How do you know it was her who had the wine if you can’t prove it?
Have you spoken to her? Is it possible you’ve met before and she’s trying to place you or encourage you to start a conversation?
If you really can't ignore this ladies behaviour perhaps skip the club for a week or two, go somewhere else or enjoy a nice evening in with your wife? No need to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation :)
NatandTom wrote:
How do you know it was her who had the wine if you can’t prove it?
Have you spoken to her? Is it possible you’ve met before and she’s trying to place you or encourage you to start a conversation?
Never met her before or seen her . I havnt done anything to encourage her either .Refused eye contact with her and folded my arms which in body language terms means I am not interested.
Yes we cant prove the wine other than she was standing next to my wifes bottle after she had moved with me and forgot to take it with her. The stalker was also drinking white wine .
Lovebirds_x wrote:
If you really can't ignore this ladies behaviour perhaps skip the club for a week or two, go somewhere else or enjoy a nice evening in with your wife? No need to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation :)
Thats actually what we were discussing and we may need to spend a week in another club with the young uns .Not ideal as we wanted to spend our time at our club as its our wedding anniceresary and wanted to organise champagne etc. But I dont want this person to ruin the occasion.
Nice to see you back by the way
Some people are not so clued up on body language or simply don’t care/are too persistent and think they can change a persons mind. It might be time to be direct with her if it continues? Subtle gestures like arm crossing might not be enough to make it clear to this person that you are not interested.
If this a club you go to frequently and know the staff then I would perhaps mention it to them that her behaviour is making you uncomfortable. In my experience bar staff are quite alert and looking out for troublemakers so they may keep a closer eye on her. It might be worth relocating for a week or two also, just for a matter of your own enjoyment. It’s hard to have fun when something is unnerving you.
NatandTom wrote:
Some people are not so clued up on body language or simply don’t care/are too persistent and think they can change a persons mind. It might be time to be direct with her if it continues? Subtle gestures like arm crossing might not be enough to make it clear to this person that you are not interested.
If this a club you go to frequently and know the staff then I would perhaps mention it to them that her behaviour is making you uncomfortable. In my experience bar staff are quite alert and looking out for troublemakers so they may keep a closer eye on her. It might be worth relocating for a week or two also, just for a matter of your own enjoyment. It’s hard to have fun when something is unnerving you.
Thanks. Its just a pity we couldnt prove the wine situation as that would have been enough to get her removed.
Yeah, I’m just unsure as to why someone would even do that? Buy your own drink!
NatandTom wrote:
Yeah, I’m just unsure as to why someone would even do that? Buy your own drink!
Well that night she had quite a few drinks enough forher accomnpanying friends to leave her. The second time she was on her own which I dont think is norrmal for a club .
I understand why there is now a law against stalking as it if very very creepy and makes you very uncomfortable as you feel trapped .
An update on this one.
She got herself barred a few weeks back on a technicality but not for the stalking.
Whilst I was dancing with the Mrs she again went for my Wife's bottle of wine. This time another couple spotted her helping herself. She has already had too much to drink and probably incapable getting to the bar. Anyway she was escorted off the premises and my wife was given another bottle.
Oh dear! At least she’s not going to be a problem for you both now.
Glad your wife was given another bottle though, that was good of the club!
NatandTom wrote:
Oh dear! At least she’s not going to be a problem for you both now.
Glad your wife was given another bottle though, that was good of the club!
Thanks Nat
We do have a good relationship with the manageress and she does look after us.
However like she says, its difficult to excude people for stalking within a club as its difficult to prove.People watch people all the time, that just what heppens . The stalker for example could counter the argument saying that I was looking at her. It would be our word against hers.
Anyway at least she wont be a problem again.