Hi
Me and my girlfriend have been going steady for the past 3 years and I just feel that maybe our sex life has maybe gotten a bit samey. It is a long distance relationship but unfortunately she is very conservative and also somewhat uncomfortable with how she looks.
I was just wondering if you guys had any tips of things we could try to spice it up (nothing too naughty just yet ;p)
p.s. we have tried some sex toys but she worries her house mates will hear.
Mix up the positions, the lingerie and WHERE you have sex. Come onto her when you probably shouldn't - the naughtyness of it might spur her on.
That and alcohol. In a good, confidence giving way - not a bad wasted and can't find your zipper way...
Expose her to the internet...
Do things a little differently. if your sex life has become formulaic, like "shall we have an early night" is the code sentence for sex and has been for forever, then "I really want to shag you right now" will be different and therefore fun. If your order is, take off clothes, get into bed, touch genitals, then a good old grope over clothes, pull them into bed and strip them is different.
Maybe one day have a massage and don't have sex, another day you could focus on oral only and so on.
After you've gotten used to doing things in a way you don't usually, you can begin to add things that you don't usually do.
If it's long distance than use the power of sex texts! Tease her with a cheeky wee text or two, perhaps swap some naughty pics, she can do them discreetly, and leave a little bit to the imagination, it'll work for you too. Send naughty texts about what you'd like to do to each other when you see each other to create a bit of excitement, saying it out loud can be quite nerve wracking if you're not into dirty talk, but texting makes it a bit easier.
When you do see each other, come on to her when yous are alone in a different room from her friends, but put your fingers to your mouth, make the quiet sign, having people in the room next door makes things much more excitable!
There are plenty toys on the market just now which are extremely quiet, http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16603 check this out for example.
As C_Jay said naught texts are a great way to spice things up - my wife and I used to do a bit of that when we had a long distance relationship before we got married - you can start innocently and get as naughty as you like, or as naughty as you think she'll like...
Also try massage candles, http://search.lovehoney.co.uk/search?w=massage+candles&view=list they're quiet, smell great and can lead to lots of fun exploring each other's bodies :)
to be fair, im not particulary comfortable with the way i look but hubby will be a nice piece of lingerie and then tell me how good i look in it and just on a genral day to day basis hell do little things like a quick kiss, or a slap on the bum when im not expecting it. maybe if you can raise her confidence a bit her inner goddess will come out xx
how about doing things that arn't nesassarily sex ( in the penis in vagina sense)
have a bath or shower together
watch porn together or share links to erotic stories you like or you think she'll like( can find lots on literotica.com for free)
simple things like ticklers might be nice
or if she will like them glass dildoes are silent and can be used in temperature play by warming or heating them
Just get talking or write a letter about what turns you on. If she does this too you are likely to come up with some stuff to try.