Ok guys, im in the middle of texting my best friend about sex with her bf whom shes been with yrs. She says she just doesnt feel like sex anymore, im telling her she just needs to spice things up a little etc etc but im kind of stuck with what to say, any ideas anyone???
Nic xxxxx
hey andserkiel,
She hasnt had a baby or anything like that, she isnt depressed or tired, she simply says she doesnt feel like it and even she wonders why? I just suggested spicing up meaning that she was maybe just bored? I know she has been with him in the past and i thought it was just a repeat of that. But maybe not.
xx
Shes told me in my last text or two that she thinks that she is just bored and that there is no variety, iv suggested dressing up? what do you think?
I don't know if it will help, but one of my housemates is going through a very similar thing right now. She's been with her fiance (probably not that long), but I think about 2 years or so, and recently they've been hitting a bit of a rough patch.
Do you know if their non-sexual relationship is okay? E found that they've been struggling to talk properly (even though they spend so much time together, this just seems to make it worse - the only thing they seem to be able to properly discuss is critisising one another and arguing!) and this, in turn, has had a really detrimental effect on their sex life.
Perhaps you could suggest that they go out and do something new, like go to dinner in a different restaurant, anything (even as lame as this!), or... go paintballing. Not particularly sexy, but I always think it helps to connect with the partner before feeling spontaneous and sexy.
Dressing up is a good idea actually - buying some sexy underwear or something kinky could be a good way to feel exciting and positive about sex herself.
Hopefully your friend feels a bit better since your texts though, hope it went well :)
I have to agree with mimiaow, she needs to think of her relationship outside the bedroom, there may be something not quite right there thats making her hold back
xxx
i think the same as the other posters. many things affect a relationship and sometimes it could be a little thing or really subtle. theres no reason for sex to completeley stop or anything,but trying new things when the base of a relationship is rocky could exacerbate the problem. though it could be worth trying toys, dressing up and roleplay
Thanks guys :) iv given her all your advice so we will see how it goes :) xx