Hi all
I have a problem. I take ages to come. I define ages as over an hour, when most women I know are already quite satisfied or sore :)
Any ideas? I'm fit, 39 and have always taken a while but lately it's gotten longer.
John
I have had this problem in the past. I found it was because I was trying too hard. You can get hung up on making sure your partner climaxes and don't pay enough attention to yourself. It is not a case of being selfish and ignoring your partner, but more than you need to find the balance between enjoying yourself and making sure that she is doing the same.
Hi ya, Do you find you arent getting as much sensativity on your penis as you used to and thats meaning you arent building up a head of steam enough to come? If so OR you also have any urinary symptoms such as finding it hard to pee, having to sit down to pee, flow problem or problems starting or stopping peeing then you might want to pop along to the big bad doc and get a prostate check done? If you always used to be fine and the problems getting worse it might be worth mentioning it to the doctor anyway so you can rule out anything physical.
If its something emotional then thats different, do you just not feel turned on? Have you found this problem is worse with one partner? How about when you have a wank, do you find it easy to come then? It may be a case of needing to work on things from the emotional side too? Concentrate on pleasuring yourself and finding what works for you. You might need to try some new things to find a new trigger. My husband has recently tried The Aneros device which uses the male G-spot principle to enhance orgasm and I highly recommend you try that. Maybe a really pleasurable orgasm will help you along the way too! Also, any partner you have who actually cares about you will want to help you find out what pleasures you and makes you climax rather than worrying about themselves anyway. Hope that helps.
Cheers for help. May visit doc first.
I think the stress of worrying about this wont be helping either, how can you relax and find orgasm when you mind is on how you are taking too long?
My man has this sometimes, though more often the opposite ;) but when he is taking ages he says he's happy with just pleasuring me and we don't finish him off - next time we have sex however he tends to be explosive :D
I'm happy enough making my wife cum a few times but I'm worried I'm not as excited (physically) as I used to be. I always cum loads when I do eventually get there though, even if I have to do it myself. :(
Hi. I'm sorry to mention it but do you have any other signs of mid life crisis, as this can be a side symptom that is very often overlooked. When a mans body goes through the change in hormones obviously this alters his sexual libido.
My hubby just went through his and his shot through the roof, so it could go either way. Just a thought!
My boyfriend's the same. I don't mind at all...
I say, just relax, maybe stop trying to come through sex - masturbate, or have her touch you if you think that's an easier way to climax. I hear that it's tiring, and sometimes a bit sore. Sorry you have this problem! I guess you're right, it might just be that your libido is changing. Generally I think our personal sex-lives/masturbation will let you know if you want less stimulation, more time to come, more focus, more fantasy, w/e...
You dont have to come every time you have sex, alot of the time it can be nice to be that close. If you dont come the first time then you will be so heated the next time you might cum quicker - right? Or just spend longer on foreplay - less time inside. Be proud of not being a one min man John! See it as an achievement rather then a set back. Your lucky partner ;)
JA1234 wrote:
You dont have to come every time you have sex, alot of the time it can be nice to be that close. If you dont come the first time then you will be so heated the next time you might cum quicker - right? Or just spend longer on foreplay - less time inside. Be proud of not being a one min man John! See it as an achievement rather then a set back. Your lucky partner ;)
for me i was 34 whe i had the snip and now can tak me well over an hour, somtimes i feel like the wife justs wants to get a book and let me get on with it.
one great thing with us is we talk about everything and i would rather stop after an hour and swap to a 69 or somthing diffrent make her cum one last time go to sleep and wake her up early in the moning with a raging horn.
glad i'm not the only one with this "problem" First time took well over an hour, and tbh i thought that was normal until it came up in conversation and then had the piss taken for the best part of 2 years
Doug wrote:
glad i'm not the only one with this "problem" First time took well over an hour, and tbh i thought that was normal until it came up in conversation and then had the piss taken for the best part of 2 years External Media
The piss taken for lasting ages? You should be damn proud. When I first started having sex I was Mr Endurance but after a while it just broke off to Mr Already Done. Building up my endurance a bit now a days though.
As long as everyone involved has a good time then happy days!
First times are different too... Don't want to break anything, might be nervous etc... nothing to worry about at all.
WandA wrote:
As long as everyone involved has a good time then happy days!
First times are different too... Don't want to break anything, might be nervous etc... nothing to worry about at all.
Yeah, I heard a term for it before called "cum shy" which is basically to say the nervousness of the whole affair prolongs or prevents you from reaching climax. I got a hell of a surprise when after the first five or six "nervy" occasions my next was over before I'd even realised it had started!
Muz333 wrote:
Doug wrote:
glad i'm not the only one with this "problem" First time took well over an hour, and tbh i thought that was normal until it came up in conversation and then had the piss taken for the best part of 2 years External Media
The piss taken for lasting ages? You should be damn proud. When I first started having sex I was Mr Endurance but after a while it just broke off to Mr Already Done. Building up my endurance a bit now a days though.
yh still get the piss taken, had a knock on my confidence because a lot of it is stright out abuse. But tbh when people 1st started doing i could not understand how they saw it as bad, but i guess its because its not the "norm".
WandA wrote:
As long as everyone involved has a good time then happy days!
First times are different too... Don't want to break anything, might be nervous etc... nothing to worry about at all.
true, but still took just as long the next time and every time after
You complain for noy coming? weird
I'm on some medicine at the moment which affects my endurance. On the rare occasion that we do make the beast with two backs it can take me a while! Any changes in medicine, stress levels or hormones can have a marked effect but as others have said if everyone has a good time it's all good! :) Doc might be a good idea for safety's sake too.
Doug wrote:
yh still get the piss taken, had a knock on my confidence because a lot of it is stright out abuse. But tbh when people 1st started doing i could not understand how they saw it as bad, but i guess its because its not the "norm".
I can't see that as being real abuse but I guess I wasn't there. Perhaps you could have joined in on the banter and just joked about them being jealous and just turn it a bit and have a laugh with them.
Maybe it's just Scottish humour but we constantly take the piss out of each other and ourselves and that's just how we communicate. For example I will introduce myself to a friend as "Allright bawbag" and so on. Then again we Scots are a strange and scary bunch.
Women do have the same problem.......i go through phases of taking forever to cum....and sometimes not managing it at all....no idea why it happens......sometimes i think i put too much pressure on myself.....'i have to climax'......and i just dont go with the flow..so to speak!!
It highly frustrating from my point of view...and drives my other half mad...lol
Muz333 wrote:
Doug wrote:
yh still get the piss taken, had a knock on my confidence because a lot of it is stright out abuse. But tbh when people 1st started doing i could not understand how they saw it as bad, but i guess its because its not the "norm".
I can't see that as being real abuse but I guess I wasn't there. Perhaps you could have joined in on the banter and just joked about them being jealous and just turn it a bit and have a laugh with them.
Maybe it's just Scottish humour but we constantly take the piss out of each other and ourselves and that's just how we communicate. For example I will introduce myself to a friend as "Allright bawbag" and so on. Then again we Scots are a strange and scary bunch.
Well to sart with I did, but then it just keep going and the way peopel were saying it (implying i was a freak)
But i know what you mean about taking the piss and it being the norm, like if anyone outside the group heard it they would think it was abuse, but the thing with that is, in my exeriance, is that it is 2 way, i.e you give it and take it. Like with cadets we all have nicknames which are bad, like one of the girls is called smoily (smelly and oily in relation to her lady bits) and she is fine with that beacuse the way its said its not abusive