Tantric Massage/sex

Hi

I’m looking for some advice on a few things. Im trying to explore tantric with my husband who is new to it all. I haven’t done it for about a decade now so could do with brushing up on the topic.

Does anyone have any advice on where to start? I used to have a fantastic tantric sex: the guide to lovemaking dvd which I think I purchased from lovehoney, but after two house moves it’s nowhere to be seen. It was very informative. I’ve tried searching for tantric porn but a lot of it involves anal for the male, which we’ve tried but he’s not into it. He’s been looking at koni massages to start off.

Can anyone recommend a good massage oil? We have baby oil but concerned about it going inside in case it causes problems, if it would, I don’t know :woman_shrugging: And a lot of the lube/oils are very sticky.

We’ve brought a few things to play on the senses, like a feather, some ice

Now we’re both mature and trying to be more serious with our sex lives

In terms of positions, we’re like to switch it up during a session but could add more to the mix, depending on flexibility aha

And lastly, I use a pheromone perfume but running out, has anyone any recommendations for a new scent?

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I did try looking through the lovehoney podcasts and blogs for tantric advice that may help you but its abit time consuming (400+ posts on various topics).
Sorry i couldnt be more help :frowning:

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Thank you, I did have a search but the ones showing were from years ago

Have you searched for similar dvds online or any books etc?

Definitely don’t use baby oil, a cold pressed one is probably best, we use an almond one.

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We’ve used almond oil and grape seed oil for massage, they generally don’t have any scent so you can add any essential oils if you want to experiment with different scents. I’ve not tried tantric sex personally so I can’t offer any advice there.

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Thank you all for your wonderful advice, will be checking out the oil options!

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Hi @Release.the.fire.in.my.soul, apologies for my late reply!

I would suggest that trying to remove the expectation of climaxing may be a good starting point for a reintroduction into tantra (especially if your husband is new to it all) - by consciously agreeing to eliminate this ‘ultimate goal’ of orgasm, focusing the mind on current sensations may become easier. It is key to remember that sex does not have to be synonymous with orgasm, and that there are so many different experiences to have/feel without reaching climax. Meditation and yoga can also help to settle the mind into the present moment.

Additionally, connecting with your partner, and becoming particularly aware of their reactions, likes and dislikes etc. can also be a really great exercise to become deeply receptive to one another. Creating a “tantric space” (e.g. candles, music, essential oils) can also be really beneficial to get ‘in the zone’, and this can also help to create a distinction between tantric sex and other sexual experiences. Finally, with regards to oils, I find that sweet almond oil is really soothing, gently fragrant, and great for massages.

Happy exploring! :blush:

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Thank you so much this is amazing advice! Definitely a great way to explain it to my husband, he’s been doing some of his own research too, which is really positive. He’s opening up a lot more to discussion lately so taking baby steps with him. He gets a bit disheartened if I don’t climax during sex but I find it difficult to a lot of the time and just enjoy what’s happening during. When we get another child free day we’re planning to put a good chunk of time aside to start out into tantric together.

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I found ‘Urban Tantra’ by Barbara Carrellas a really helpful practical guide/overview, my wife got it for me as a gift and it really helped me psychologically at a hard time i was going through, particularly it highlights the importance of breathing in sexual control and experiencing pleasure.

I also really like Kate Marley’s PH channel and someone else on here recommended Layla Martin who has some really great free content (blogs, vids etc).

I hope you find a path that works for you both, what a special and exciting thing to work on together, wishing you all the best on the journey!

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