Did someone say dungeon ?
Mine was Grade 2 listed
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Ooooh thatâs looks very interesting, a bit bare without all the luxuries that I dream will be in my dungeon - but itâs a jolly good start.
It looks like a Game of Thrones dungeon.
Wouldnât mind dragging Khal Drogo in there 
and showing him whoâs in charge
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As itâs a dungeon, there are stairs down. Donât reckon Drago is gonna make it back out any time soon
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Must admit, I googled this when you first mentioned it. Looks absolutely incredible, Iâm quite jealous.
Look forward to hopefully hearing your review after youâve beenâŚ
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@Cupc8kes it took an argument for everything to finally click for me. Not only that I was maybe a bit dense but she really (not that I recall) never fully laid out how she felt.
To preface, we have two 6-month old puppies. We live in California so our âback yardâ is a giant dirt clod that maybe used to be covered with grass 20 years ago. Therefore whenever they go outside to go potty, they at the very least track dirt everywhere. They also bring in rocks and sticks and leaves to chew on and play with. This leaves the floor noticeably dirty.
Iâm going to blame this on the âhusbandâs eyeâ, but OH used to come home and Iâd see her cleaning up a bit but it never really registered in my mind what was happening.
Iâm sure in her mind she thought, âHubby sees me cleaning after I get home at MIDNIGHT and he still doesnât help me with any of this!â
Now to all of the OHs that are feeling this way, your other half can just be super dense sometimes. Seriously, spell it out for us. Weâre not total jerks, I promise 
Anyway, in my mind I thought," Why is she cleaning? Sheâll go to sleep right after. AND first thing in the morning the dogs will go potty and get it dirty again, and she will literally not even be able to enjoy the floor being swept."
It blew my mind that she cleaned knowing it would only remain clean while she was asleep and just get dirty before she could enjoy it.
One day when OH and I were both off of work together, she entered into one of her cleaning frenzies. This of course included tasks that she wanted me to do. Of course I canât say that I didnât grumble a bit when she had hours of cleaning lined up for me on my day off of work.
But I did get stuff clean. There was one task in particular that really just got under my skin. It wasnât an especially unpleasant task but it was the way she wanted it done. I had my idea on how to accomplish the task, and my wife had her idea.
Being totally honest, my way seemed more efficient. She explained what she wanted and I explained why I wanted to do it my way and also why it was more efficient to do it my way. Plus since Iâm doing the task, I didnât feel like I should have to take the longer method to get to the same result and needlessly waste time.
OH wasnât having it though. She started in with the whole, âYou never help out, Iâm always cleaning and you just sit there on the computer on fb and watch me work.â
She wasnât wrong. But I also donât believe in cleaning when things are going to get dirty again right away. I donât shower before going to the gym, I donât wash my car when itâs raining, I donât sweep up after dogs that are just going to turn the house into a zoo again in a few hours anyway (unless itâs just really bad, but not the small specs of leaves & dirt that accumulates daily).
So she said I donât help clean, I asked her why she even cleaned at all every day when itâs not needed every day (my opinion).
Thatâs when she told me directly how she felt about coming home to a dirty house every day. Just no mental peace going to sleep knowing the kitchen was dirty and the floor was still unswept.
So that led into discussing very specifically what things I could clean before she comes home every day to make her feel happy and peaceful and that sheâs walking into a clean house.
She listed things and now Iâm much better about cleaning. Knowing just how much she needs it mentally and emotionally, and knowing exactly what she wants done really helped me get my butt in gear and help out.
Now just about every day I have the dishes out of the sink and in the dish washer. The pots and pans are cleared off the stove and counters with the food put properly into the fridge if there are leftovers. The floor is swept. The dogs toys are put away so OH doesnât trip over them. And as she has a desire for ribs on the grill, I make that for her.
Now she can come home and walk in with a smile on her face and peace in her heart that she has a hubby that finally supports her cleaning needs.
Wow that was long. But I think the argument we had helped too. Also Iâm legit dense. 
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Itâs really good to see that you have worked together and compromised to get to a solution where you can both be happy 
thatâs where I need to be.
I feel like I have spelled it out to hubby enough times.
The problem is he can easily ignore the mess, doesnât see it as an issue and is lazy around the house.
Maybe heâs always had someone to clean up after him so heâs never had to do it himself.
Itâs just so draining for me - I really want him to realise that bit more understanding and effort would actually go a long way. But I also donât feel appreciated for all the shit I constantly do around the house.
This is the one thing that would make my marriage just about perfect - I guess we canât have it all 
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I can personally say I feel bad as much as my wife brought it up passively and I âshould have gotten the point.â Donât underestimate an OHâs ability to be dense Also once you hear the same thing over and over again you kinda tune it out. I know itâs bad to say, and I feel like a jerk saying it, but thatâs kinda where I was with OH before our argument.
She would just kinda clean, then if things got bad sheâd yell and me and whoever didnât do their chores (me lots, son dishes, daughter trash) and weâd scramble to fix it and the cycle would repeat.
Iâm not saying thatâs good, that was just our cycle. Sometimes itâs just gotta click.
THIS! I was not especially bothered by the mess the same way my wife was. It would get bad enough to where OH would just clean it. And her point of âcanât stand itâ was well before my point of even hardly being bothered by it.
It sucks but it probably wonât change until it âclicksâ for him. Iâm sorry I donât have any recommendations on how to help that process, I just know how it clicked for me.
Though I sucked at helping as much as I could have been, I did help out more than not. I also did make an effort to express verbal gratitude when OH cooks meals, folds laundry, and other things. I will not say I did a phenomenal job with that, but I feel I did not do too terribly horrible 
Though I did verbally say âthanksâ, I think actually helping out OH with chores would have expressed gratitude more than just hearing words of appreciation.
Ugh. I wish I could share my âgetting itâ knowledge with your hubby. Too bad we canât just synchronize our âclickâ moments with others so they understand. Sorry @Cupc8kes
But you still do have an awesome marriage! I recommend not focusing on the negatives (not at all saying you are). Most people arenât aware of all the epicness they do have. Thatâs why âyou donât know what you have till itâs goneâ is often all too accurate.
You keep going and hopefully hubby will understand sooner than later
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Thanks for your long reply
Usually I get mad but just get on with it then sometimes when Iâm really mad I have to let it all out and tell him just how Iâm feeling.
He will agree and be sorry, then say heâll start helping out ⌠It may last a few days, then soon slips back into previous habits.
I just donât know the answer and what will make it âclickâ for him.
Iâve told him before - I want to feel confident that if anything was to happen to me, I need to know that he can and will be able to take care of the family/house - but his actions donât prove it to me.
Itâs a constant battle ⌠Iâll keep battling until Iâm grey and wrinkly by the looks of it. But I could really do without the stress.
This is definitely true!!
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Oof. This hits me right in the feels. That can be a tough spot for a spouse to be in.
Please donât think Iâm talking or thinking down about your husband. Everyone has their faults and issues and most certainly I have my own areas of fault.
But fortunately he has a great spouse and so do I Ideally one half will help support in areas the other is less naturally gifted in and vice versa.
Fortunately sometimes the âclickâ happens and you get the gift of realizing where youâve been messing up. It can be challenging but Iâm always thankful for those moments. Though too often it happens much farther down the road than it should.
Wish you, and really all the couples here, the very best 
PART I - Answering the Thread Question
I dunno. I personally think itâs absolutely not porn because itâs not visual.
Porn (short for pornography) definition: âPrinted or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings.â
I think if anything it falls more in the category of Erotica: âliterature or art intended to arouse sexual desire.â I think audio could potentially fall under âartâ.
The key is the stimulation or arousal of sexual desires. I think if youâre using it like you would porn then itâs the same intent with the same effect as porn. Even though it wears a different âhatâ, so to speak, itâs the same concept.
Gonna be that âunpopular yet well intendedâ guy for a minute. I disagree with the suggestion of asking OH to send you sexy pics of herself. Even though itâs OH, itâs still porn and still activating the mental and emotional stimulation that comes from viewing ânon-OHâ porn. It might be something your brain uses to keep an attachment to porn while operating under the disguise of âbeing ok because itâs OHâ.
This might be an extreme example, but think of it this way: If your thing was alcohol or drugs, would it be ok if you drank or did drugs because OH gave them to you?
Now I think sexy OH pics could possibly be healthy later on down the road, if you get to the point where your mind wonât try to use sexy OH pictures as a stepping stone back to porn. Again I recognize these last few paragraphs are stronger and a bit more extreme language. Of course, you know yourself better than me. Just my thoughts
PART II - Finale
Since Iâm here answering this particular question, I decided to scrap the reply in the original thread and put it here in the lounge where it probably most accurately belongs.
A few things have been happening in real life behind the scenes with me. Also things have happened here on the forums that have slowly chipped away at the justifications Iâve been using to even be here on the forums at all.
My confession: Since the age of maybe 18 (if I have to put a number on it) Iâve been addicted to porn (this is challenging to say). The longest I ever went without looking was maybe 8 months. I forget what brought me back. Spicy scene in a movie maybe? That started âthe machineâ. Then the familiar desire that I hadnât experienced in months returned and I started doing stupid searches online that werenât âpornâ, but naughty. Then porn started slipping in with the search results. Then full blown back into it.
Iâve been clean now for 3-4 weeks maybe. I say clean because I know that Iâve been using the LH forums as a subsittute for porn. Now there certainly isnât anything adult as far as official âpornâ goes, but simply talking about desires, kinks, and fantasies was enough to fill the gap that stopping porn use had left behind.
Plus, the forums have all the features I could ever want to justify my being here: No adult pics/vids, no flirting, no private messages or 1-on-1 chat. I could get my âfixâ and tell myself it was ok because in all actuality I wasnât looking at porn. I wasnât even looking at the user-uploaded lingerie threads. Yay me right? 
But the amount of time I spend online, and realizing that I was using the forums in the same way I used porn, (distraction from real life stress) eventually was made clear to me though a slow chipping away at my excuses.
One person asked me if my OH knew about my account here (OH does not know). And then, unbeknownst to her, @Goth_Girl had mentioned things here and here that really hit me in a way that made it impossible to believe my own justifications any longer.
Even though it wasnât intended for me, I want to thank you @Goth_Girl. I appreciate what you did in those two posts. I will be checking out https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ and https://nofap.com/. I already have been to both sites but I really want to dig into them.
I would also like to thank you @Starscream86. You are seriously brave to login and admit where you are and ask for suggestions. Saying you have/had a porn addiction is a humbling thing and I tip my hat to you.
OH and I have been having relationship struggles over the last couple years. She personally feels porn is infidelity. I was willing to stop but then got wrapped up in it again after that 8-month porn-free stint.
I suck at lying and I also donât like to lie even if I was good at it. So I told OH about my slip, err bad choice, of looking again. That was about it for her. Kinda figured sheâd forgive me after a few days but the days turned to weeks and months and itâs been a couple years now.
Out of bitterness I decided if she doesnât want to engage sexually that I was at least going to have porn. Super mature right? Though I didnât tell that to OH of course. And I most certainly do not browse in front of her but that was my mindâs attitude.
Last year I wanted to reengage my/our marriage so I stopped porn again for all of November and December. Poor communication on my end with her about that so OH didnât really get what I was trying to do.
Nevertheless she still had no change in attitute toward me and she shut me out so I did what failures do best and made bad decisions again. The past few months Iâve made a legit effort of restoring things yet again and they have actually gotten better than they have been in the last couple years.
Even once we started getting very sexual on the couch. She actually let me place my hands on her various womanly parts which hadnât happened in a good two years. I thought we had resolved everything and were about to head upstairs to finally have some amazing husband/wife time. I was wrong. She pumped the brakes. We talked and SOMEHOW had miscommunication issues that led to a fight and antother poor decision making process.
As Iâm currently about 3-4 weeks clean, Iâm realizing (or accepting rather) that the forums arenât right for me. At least not at this point in time. Iâm REALLY trying to be better and not giving up every time thereâs a hiccup on my path to marital bliss.
Itâs really just me being weak and immature. I accept that as where I am, but not where I want to allow myself to remain. Not anymore. My wife needs me to man up and be a real husband to her. To be the husband she deserves.
It is challenging, when you choose to live in defeat and failure, to get yourself out of it. Iâm thankful to you all for that help, even though much was passively obtained. So with that I want to say a legitimate thank you to everyone for everything. Fun times, learning, laughs, and the opportunity to take some of the few things I think I know, and offer suggestions to others who are also going through tough times.
There are so many people Iâm thankful for here but I want to give a shout out to just a few specifically. If I donât list your name, please do not take it personal. Iâm firstly human and also itâs late for me
For being especially friendly, fun, helpful, and a delight to engage with on the forums: @Ian_Chimp, @Kitty-Cat01, @Littleblondechick, @Cupc8kes, and @Mint-Monster.
For these two, every time I saw their profile pic on a post I knew I was going to both enjoy and be jealous of whatever text followed their icon: @rockstar and @Dirty-Wife
For these wonderful and amazing people, who have recently experienced a difficult time, I humbly encourage you to hang in there. Itâs tough but you have what it takes to see it through and youâll be a shining example to the rest of us as you do! Some have decisions to make, some have fought most of the battle and are healing, some are still in the battle. Regardless of where you are, you got this! Youâre stronger than you think and you will get through it! I wish you the best! Specifically, @Justthe2ofus2007, @StarKitty79, @Kitty-Cat01, @AJSTAR.
To anyone I offended, and if it wasnât clear that I wish I hadnât, Iâm truly sincerely sorry. I have no bitterness against anyone. Hoping I can leave on a fresh slate.
After this post Iâm sending the email to request removal of my forum account. Thanks again @Goth_Girl, @Kitty-Cat01, and @Starscream86. Without having heard your personal stories about your dealings with porn, I wouldnât be making this personally smart decision to move forward to where I need to be.
For the record, @Lovehoney_Brenna, the LH forums are phenomenal! Nothing bad to say. Only I do wish youâd get more âlikesâ in your first two weeks of online activity. Seemed that almost every time I was clicking âheartsâ I was getting âlow on likesâ messages
Wish everyone the best.
Sincerely,
justanotherkinkystraightguy
Edit: Sorry @Lovehoney_Brenna. Thanks for the number change. My sincere apologies.
Edit2: Finally finished grammar and spelling corrections. ugh
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Thanks @Goth_Girl. And this is my last post (for this period in time anyway). Only saw it becuse Iâm slow at touching up my posts. Especially when theyâre longer
Weâll miss you but I totally get where youâre coming from. I hope things go well for you and your marriage grows and strengthens 
Maybe you could tell your partner about the site, and join up again together?
Just have a break @anon8189768 you donât need to delete your account.
Thereâs always someone here if you need to have a friendly chat or vent.
That must of been hard to right, but I think itâs amazing that youâre acknowledging that and doing whatâs right for you, weâre always here. I really hope your marriage strengthens. All the best 
Just read that long post @anon8189768. Well done for realising and admitting that, and good luck with your struggle. I feel your thoughts are right, and although Iâll miss your well thought out posts, I think youâve made the right decision. Take care my friend xx
Mrs Chimp got a freebie fitness watch thing with her last phone a while back. I once wore it while eating an entire box of doughnuts to myself. It said Iâd burnt 48 calories. I was very pleased.
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Some other ones:
The Piss Glossary
| To take a piss | To urinate |
| To take the piss | To mock. Can be friendly, can also be aggressive. Watch for tone, and level of friendship. Also, to take advantage excessively |
| âAre you taking the piss?!â / âIs this a piss-take?!â | See above. Also an exclamation of disbelief |
| To ârip the pissâ out of someone /something | To take the piss mercilessly |
| Pissing it down | Raining heavily |
| Pissing in the wind | Wasting oneâs time attempting the impossible |
| Piss-sticks | General exclamation. Similar to âCrikey!â |
| Pissing Hell! | Stronger exclamation. Similar to âChuffing Nora!â |
| Pissing about | Mucking around |
| Piss artist | Drunkard. Or someone who pisses about |
| Pisshole | Urethral opening. Eg. âThat piss was so hot. It really burnt my pisshole!â |
| Pisser | Lavatory/urinal (alt. âshitterâ) |
| Pisspot | Miserable person. Also a pot that you can piss in |
| âI ainât got a pot to piss inâ | Impoverished. |
| Piss poor | Very bad quality. Can also mean impoverished |
| Pissed | Intoxicated |
| Piss up | An occasion when a lot of alcohol is drunk |
| On the piss | A bout of extended alcohol consumption |
| Pisshead | Antisocial habitual drinker |
| Can of Piss | Useless person. Or cheap lager |
| Pissed off | Annoyed, irked |
| Piss off! | âGo awayâ or âShut upâ |
| Pissy | Ill-tempered, sour. |
| Bucket of piss | Mood killer. Like a wet blanket, but with a sloshing bucket of piss (though in some circles this is considered a jolly good Wednesday )
|
| To piss on someoneâs cornflakes (or chips) | To ruin someoneâs exuberance/excitement. |
| Pissflaps | Labia |
| Piss bottle | Bottle for pissing in when the toilet is just too far |
| Lanky streak of piss | Derogatory. Very tall and thin person. |
| Pissant | A contemptible person or thing |
| Piss pad | Disposable absorbant incontinence towel |
| Piss wet-through | Drenched, soaking |
| Piss stain | Insult. Worthless twat |
| âEyes like piss holes in the snowâ | Tired, sunken eyes. Look like shit. Esp. From getting pissed |
| Piss your pants /piss yourself | Find something hilarious. Or be very scared. Or physically urinate in your underwear |
| âDonât piss your pants/yourselfâ | âDonât freak out/be scaredâ |
| âAll piss and vinegarâ | Riled up, aggressive (though I thought it meant âfull of spiteâ. Weâre all learning something here )
|
| âTheyâre full of piss and airâ | Flaky, unreliable |
| âWouldnât piss on them if they were on fireâ | To have a strong dislike for someone |
| âThat makes my piss fizz!!/That really boils my piss!!â | âThat makes me very angry!â |
| âDonât piss on my face and tell me itâs rainingâ | âDonât pretend that your behaviour towards me is something less than it isâ |
| To piss your money away | Squander your money on frivolities |
| Piss all over | Defeat with ease |
| Piece of piss | Very easy |
| Pièce de rÊsistance | The stand-out feature/element. Not actually piss related. |
Iâm sure thereâs more. Shout out and Iâll add them in. 
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I thought the topics were going to get deleted, so asked for the posts to be moved here. Turns out @anon8189768 went the âanonymiseâ route instead, so they would have been safe anyhoo.
(and Iâve added your suggestion to the list )
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I found one Iâd never heard of until today!
AUSTRALIAN
alcoholic drink, especially beer.
âweâll need 70 cans of piss for the tripâ
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