My wife has never had an orgasm in the 30 years we've been married. We've used a number of vibrators including the Rabbit, but with little result. She's unresponsive apart from the odd twitch. However, she's interested in 'getting there'. She's also happy to use a vibrator but only with me, not on her own.
In desperation I just bought the Lovehoney Delux Mains Powered Magic Wand as I'd heard so much about the Hitachi original. Once she's overcome the shock at seeing this beast (it will be a shock and not an erotic one) this is what I want to ask you all:
What is the most success-guaranteed way I can use this with her that will get a swift response and the much-sought orgasm? A lot of you reviewed it - have any of you got over anorgasmia using it and how did you do that?
We are a cuddly loving couple. This must seem utterly clueless you you experts but believe me, my wife's clitoris may as well be a well buried stone for all the response it gives. I am nervous that a clumsy session with it will result in her saying 'forget it'. So it's not a case of 'apply to clitoris and wait' - I need some real help here. What got you there with it?
Please don't laugh - this is years and years of frustration here and it is also probably my last resort.
Lube is essential..some might come on and say it doesn't do it for them, but trust me she should blow using that! Rabbits etc are garbage for me! this!!! phew! I feel the nerve endings in my toes get set alight. Slow speeds to begin, I've never had to turn it much up at all. Be warned they do get warm on the clit and to hold. Not a problem though if you're using your tongue etc inbetween driving her wild. have fun x
I don't get on with my wand at all and can't orgasm with it :( I find the head of it is too large. I would suggest building up from a low power. As she gets more into it you can crank it up a bit. Use lube for maximum comfort. There are some great attachments for wands that can add to the fun as well. If it doesn't do it for her ( like it doesn't for me ) I highly recommend a we vibe tango. Powerful and precise. I have 2 ;)
Im on a medication at the minute and one of the side effects is that it can be hard to orgasm. What i have found that helps is to masturbate in two phases.
I usually use my tango for clitoral stimulation and spend a little bit of time just "warming up". Then i stop completely for about 5 minutes and then start again and everything is sensitive, but not numbed. Then its usually less than two minutes before i can orgasm.
Another method i use is to use an internal toy (my usual is the rosa) and then the tango for clitoral stimulation, and i either come really quickly, or i use the previous method and have a few minutes of both, then a few minutes of just the rosa and then finish off with both.
If the wand doesn't work, maybe you could try a different sensation and get her a Womanizer.
I get over-stimulated by a lot of vibes, then I can kiss goodbye to an orgasm. The W, though, can keep me going for hours. Never felt anything like it.
I find it's better to work the wand myself rather than my hubby as the slightest movement off the right spot can soon loose the buildup and sends you back to start all over again. Plenty of lube for the wand and penetration from hubby and in no time at all I'm over the edge. Hope she gets there for you both. Good luck. 
I don't get on with my wand at all and can't orgasm with it :( I find the head of it is too large. I would suggest building up from a low power. As she gets more into it you can crank it up a bit. Use lube for maximum comfort. There are some great attachments for wands that can add to the fun as well.
If it doesn't do it for her ( like it doesn't for me ) I highly recommend a we vibe tango. Powerful and precise. I have 2 ;)
The bit in bold - hit the nail on the head. Start off low with lots of lube. Trying slowly moving up and down, get her to tell you when you hit a bit you should spend some time on. I'm not very good at the speaking whilst enjoying stuff so I tend to just put my hand over his to show ;stay there;
Thank you for your helpful replies! Ozz - thanks but no oral in between things - she refuses to accept that. And yes - the power is what I am after because nothing else works. It is possible to get a slight reaction from her clitoris if I get it exactly right.
But she has the patience of a short fuse. I reckon I have a window of three to five minutes to get a serious result. After that, if nothing is happening, she'll shut the whole thing down and it is game over. She won't ever try the device again.
Well 3 to 5 mins..it shouldn't take that long if you know where to find that spot! You should know it's location by now lol. Talking and more talking..it's all good!
Have you already tried applying an orgasm balm to enhance the feeling in her clitoris before you started playing with toys? I must say I don't have any experience with these balms myself but I've read quite a few positive stories about them here on Lovehoney so I'm thinking it might be worth a shot if you haven't tried using one yet :)
Thank you so much for all your kind replies. VR - I looked up the Womanizer you mentioned and I think I will try this. It would be less intimidating and has a good chance of hitting the spot. Thank you for the suggestion. We tried the (I think) Durex version of a balm to stimulate things, but she could not feel it. I have sometimes wondered if she has nerve problems because she has slightly damaged vertebrae in the lowest part of her back. So if we can get the nerves to talk, things ought to improve quite rapidly. (I hope). Hence the idea of the powerful Wand.
I do feel under a lot of pressure and I wish she was not so reticent. But I want to hope we will get there!