just shortly. I am with my partner for almost 8 years but for past year I think that he got bored of sex routine in the bed. I always get the same excuse (its late, im going to work early and i have no appetite) and rejection hurts and especially as I love sex. Maybe that is it! I want too much(twice a month?! oh come on!) Now, I am not a girl who will let things slip away so yeah i tried lingerie, games, scene changes, took him out more often into what couples actually do and also use tto bring the memory of previous steamy sex occassions in unusual places in unusual positions. I guess relationships are hard for men and they just easily give up to work hard. We worked hard on achieving things that we have achieved so we can relax and enjoy the sexual happiness between us. I just bought some books about sex games, sexual massages and some 'ho-oot' sexy outfit. I have run out of ideas now but this is not all about me. Is there any other way for him to get interested in sex more ( by that i mean 3 times a week at least :) I would like to be the one saying that I am tired of being shagging all the time for once :)
Let me hear your ideas and stories so I know that I am not in this circle on my own :) A very sexy thank you x
Everyone is different but if sex was in the missionary position everytime I would still want it more than twice a month and by the same token some people are not up for it 3 times a week.
My wife always says sex is 10% of a good relationship and 90% of a bad one, is everything else OK or is sex a focus of things going wrong elsewhere?
Did you ever consider you may scare him off and did you ever do it that often after you started living together
Same to an extent with my husband. He was never once a day man - but usually when he is bursting or horny he feels like sex. Hes very tactile though. I have also tried the dressing up and watching porn with him or in front on him. Doesnt work.
Youre not alone at all. Lots of couples end up like this. Ive been with my husband almost 7 years.
It takes two remember.
Try massage, romantic dinner. Oh and my husband always, always feels horny after quite a bit of cardio exercise.
I really wish I could help. It is usually the guys that is wondering why their wives are not more interested in sex - after all it's us blokes that are soused in testosterone which is supposed to be the great sex-drive enhancer. I think most blokes expect to spend some of the time frustrated.
Apart from times when the job has been stressful (and at times its looked like we might go totally bust if I couldn't sort things out - a serious passion killer) I would certainly be up for it every night (mentally if not always physically) so I find it difficult to understand why some guys are much less driven about sex. Given what you ladies are doing for and to them perhaps I should envy them 8-)=
If work-related stress is not a factor then a visit to the GP has got to be worth a try.
Yeah a visit to the GP may turn up something. A friend of mine in his late 40s recently was in a similar position, had erection problems etc. went to the GP who looked at the usual things and was about to prescribe Viagra when a blood test shewed up a hormine imbalance. He now has a testosterone supplement and he is much more fired up. Even about everyday things. I suppose it is a bit lit the girls with HRT.
Broach the GP visit carefully though you don't want to put him off!
Have you sat down with him and asked him what can you do to make him more interested, also have you told him "exactly" what you would like? Is he in good health? All work and no play can take all the energy out of a person. Can't he take the odd day off from work so you can both spend some quality time alone! Kissing, cuddling throughout the day can build up the anticipation for sex later on! Would you send him sex texts or pics of you to his mobile to tease him?
Lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, walking barefoot around the house to stimulate the nervous system for him and you don't let him watch porn or anything like that so when you're naked infront of him after all the sexy texts he will not be able to resist you! :)
I wouldn't be so quick to assume that he is now bored with the sexual side of the relationship, talk to him about it and see if he feels that his libido is not quite where it used to be.
A persons sex-drive is a very peculiar thing. It can disappear for an astonishing variety of reasons and when it goes missing you simply don't want sex no matter how appealing your partners offerings may be. I'm not saying that libido is the reason, I'm merely suggesting that if he was happy in the bedroom before then chances are he still is.
Rejection by the person you love hurts and can be very confusing. Naturally, the immediate reaction is to blame yourself. Sometimes this can even turn to resentment but honestly it could be nobody's fault, maybe his body simply doesn't crave sex right now.
It is obviously important to you so talk to him about it. Ask him if he feels it could be an issue with his libido or if there is something else on his mind. Is he worn out or having a hard time? Does he feel well and healthy? Could he be trying to avoid sex for performance reasons such as struggling with his erection? You owe it to each other to talk it out and find the solution. If it does turn out to be libido then ask him to discuss it with his G.P who will likely be able to find out the underlying cause.
Amazing thoughts - thank you all for your time to respond :)
I always try to open the discussion about this - every time I touch that 'live veiny beauty' it goes up so I doubt that it is libido problem - i think it is more mind thing - he says that he is always tired so I let him sleep and sleep and gain an energy. I have suggested going swimming which will boost his energy and it will release the work stress. I even text him the seductive journey that he has to go through before he reaches his flower but that ended up in receiving nice emoticons and short words.
I quite agree - love is expression of love. Does that mean that he does not think that even though I have told him so?! I sometimes feel that I force him to have sex with me, there were only 2 occassions when he took a lead and that was a-ma-ziiing! Am I too horny to handle maybe it is off putting...Is it because that I was only his girlfirend in his life, meaning sexually?! We are two opposites - I am very social and very open minded and he is shy, controversial, materialistic and he doesnt build relationships with other people if he doesnt have to. I begged his close friend to have a chat with him but I wanna know nothing,just a men's chat about everything while I have entertained his wife and their child.
Oh god, I went on and on in here. All I want to say, he is fantastic lover and i am in different world with him but I think that sex is not an inspiration for him in the relationship. Am I blind to see what arouses him? Have I missed something? Is it my sex drive? I have to say that I drive him crazy these days but that is because I have not gotten my regular and important vitamin SEX sooo.... I am out of ideas but I never give up!
There have been times when he is too tired and lately it has been me who can't be bothered, as soon as my head hits the pillow im gone!!
Maybe we are unusual but we never make love on a night morning afternoon or early evening but never at night lol we both prefer it on a weekend morning after a bite to eat and a shower. Mrs G always wakes early and is Kaput by bed time.
guys you are amazing - in regards of his best friend - I didnt not even tell him that what is it all about but I ahve just agreed to meet them and so them two can have a chat.
Nowadays, he is trying to cheer me up with making dinners so I assume that he still cares for me even though that he cant somehow spend time with me. Oh god, that man is worth to fight for even though I have to fight twice to get him into bed. Well lets see what weekend brings but I will try to take him out to comedy clubs so if he is depressed and wont tell me about it. I will try to make him laugh, release the very important endorphines.
Updates soon. What games do you play in your bedrooms - explore your imagination - I would love to hear it :p
If he is stressed then sex particularly satisfying you may add to it. Try giving him permission to screw you any way he wants without regard to your enjoyment. It breaks the ice.
our sex life has had lows too but been good for a few years now, i had purchased a few education sex dvds and we whatched them together and got steamy while watching them and shaged it must be hard if the male has gone of the lay i can always make my partner erotic and want it just by touching and kissing we both need it.