So it’s been a new thing for my OH to have a wank in front of me but I’m still not sure if I should join in with him…… I don’t want to say to him as he’s in the moment…. At that time he may just want me to watch and that’s fine by me…. On the other hand watching him this morning made me really horny so I asked him to come to the bedroom…. It wasn’t long but I had a great orgasm but my OH didn’t…… thinking now maybe I should have left him to it.
8 Likes
Always join in with each other. We like to sit opposite each other and if one starts… the other can’t resist 
4 Likes
Love mutual self pleasure - makes me cum quicker watching my wife play with herself.
Ask him what he wants to do - solo time for him or have him watch you at the same time - mix it up and have fun. You could always finish him off after you have had your pleasure
3 Likes
Being a more visual person, if I was masturbating in front of the OH and she either started to masturbate herself or offered a hand to finish me off, I would probably explode quicker.
I would ask what he would prefer, perhaps just flashing him would help send him to ejaculation bliss.
2 Likes
She likes to watch me masturbate and edge myself but when she decides it’s time for me to come all she has to do is to pick up a toy and masturbate herself. That tips me over the edge very quickly.
I would say join in.
6 Likes
My wife usually just watches me but it is great when she joins in or we share toys. We both cum hard and my wife usually several times!
3 Likes
I’d ask him - not when he’s mid flow - what he’d enjoy.
Having said that, you’re entitled to masturbate when and where you want to (that’s legal, obviously!) so you could just start and see what happens.
I don’t see a bad outcome either way 
2 Likes
I think only he can answer that, maybe let it settle then chat about it in a neutral setting.
Some people still have a sense of shame/embarrassment/privacy around masturbating, I still find it a bit difficult and my OH and I are only just breaking through the barriers of allowing that level of intimacy together. Everyone is different.
1 Like
Join in, think of how you felt watching him. Think how he’ll feel watching you at the same time… I’m sure the hornynlevel will be 10 fold
Thank you all for your comments, I don’t think I said it right but what I mean is I didn’t know if he wanted me just to watch…. As it’s new for us I’m still a little unsure what to do in the moment, it’s not a case of me playing as well as him but that didn’t even cross my mind. As I asked him to come in the bedroom I now know he thought we was both going to play in front of each other,so in a nutshell I changed the game by us having a penetrating sex.
2 Likes
So… to use an analogy with a card game… He was enjoying a game of patience and you were watching him enjoying playing… Instead of getting another pack of cards out and playing your own game of patience at the same time so you are both enjoying your own game and watching each other play… You changed the game and played snap together in the bedroom. It went from Solo masturbation… Missed the whole just watch, missed the mutual and ended up as normal PIV… You enjoyed a great orgasm and he didnt come at all… Thats terrible zoe82 
… poor bloke. Good thing is, his balls are probably still bursting and if you give him the best BJ later and swallow, maybe he will sleep well and truly contented ???
I suggest get to watch him and let him watch you what’s to loose ?
1 Like
Masturbation together is so hot. It’s what we like to do on a regular basis.
1 Like
I’d go for it and join in with watching him and masturbate as well then you both could get off on each others pleasures 
Maybe try doing it in front of him, see his reaction then. I’d love to watch the oh masterbaite, very arousing
As with everything, communication!
There’s a lot of different things that could be going on here, or directions it could go:
- You could join in by masturbating across from him, so that you’re both putting on a show. Could be a race to see who finishes first. Or last.
- Is he getting off on you watching without any pleasure for yourself? As long as you’re okay with delaying your pleasure for his kink. Is he willing to service you afterward?
- He may have other issues that cause masturbation to feel better/or more guaranteed pleasure for him. Did you encourage him to finish off manually after your orgasm? And when I say “issues” I don’t mean that it’s for sure problematic issues, but may be worth considering.
But best to talk about it outside of sexy times. In the event that it does reveal hard feelings or conflict, that’s always that much harder to work through, and sometimes feels more hurtful, when you’re already baring yourself physically just to have that sort of rejection show up. But at the end of the day, intimate relationships are always a dance of giving even selflessly while also expressing and expecting for your own desires to be met. Ideally partners are a good match and you can’t outlove each other.
1 Like
I find this really odd 
Are you two using the forum as a way to communicate with each other?
I would do whatever it is you want to in that moment. If you want to watch, then watch. If you want to watch tv, then watch tv. If you want to touch yourself, then do that. If you want to go to the kitchen and get some water to cool him down, then get you some water
But I think asking him what his intentions are, will help. What does he want from it and do you consent to be a part of it and how do you agree this? Is it per ‘event’ or a blanket approach that you ‘opt out of’ if you’re not in the mood? Maybe thats where the water comes into play
Having that conversation would be my advice.
(I don’t know who knows, but just remember that not everyone will know, so when you do address each other be mindful that you still need to keep within the forum rules.)
1 Like
Simple - just ask if you can join in. An opportunity to really connect with your partner on more deeper intimate level. I would not hesitate for a second. Takes real courage for someone to even start as they obviously have no idea how their partner will react. Embrace the moment!!!
1 Like
It is really odd actually. You are right. I made the mistake linking us together when we couldnt get her on LHF. Didnt think about one of us creating a topic. So with hind sight we are deciding what to do now… I think we either both leave or one of us. We didnt mean to make anyone feel awkward. Sorry. Going to have to give it some thought today. If we do both go then is was fab chatting to you all thanks for all the advice and comments.
1 Like
I don’t think there’s an issue with you both being on the forum, so long as you follow Forum Rules regarding interactions, other couples have had this mentioned to them in the past, as it’s a blanket rule, and applies to all, regardless of relationships between them
Do not flirt with other Forum members - do not have private conversations in public – this includes flirting, ‘inside jokes’, and graphic public displays of affection.
So long as you avoid this, then there should be no issues.
4 Likes