Over a few (ok, many) glasses of wine with the girls last night, via a meandering conversation we arrived at the subject of masturbation. Whilst I get excited anout my OH having a play (especially in the shower or on the marital bed) many of my girlfriends are horrified that their men would even think about 'taking things into their own hands'.
so, two questions;
What are you thoughts and feelings that your OH may opt for self-play even though you would be willing for some joint fun?
and
How can I encourage my other half to pleasure himself and then share the story with me other than ask him outright to w**k more and then send me a text?
Kisses to all,
Ms DirtyWeekend xxx
I personally find it a massive turn-on knowing my OH is touching himself.
It's something he doesn't do often and doesn't really like to do but it really gets me hot.
It's even better when he tells me he was using some toys whilst doing it!
In my opinion, masturbation is something totally different to sex. I can have sex whenever and where ever it want but sometimes I just like to have a play alone. It gives you some 'me time' where you can totally relax and not have to think about someone else
No no no it really bugs me when we haven't had it recently then he just goes have his usual shower ( but taking extra long ) then going to bed... I mean what the hell! Clearly it's a man thing and doesn't think I would like some action too.
Fair enough if u was out, but don't do it while I'm sat in the next room left to entertain myself. X
I masturbate all the time. With him, without him - mainly because I have a much higher sex drive than he does.
He knows I do it, and in some ways, it's a blessing, because once i've had a wank, i'm not so desperate to try and get him into bed when he's clearly not in the mood.
He always asks me to tell him about it, so he at least feels like he was part of it somehow. There are ocassions though where I've gone to have a wank on my own, and it's led to some amazing sex..
But he doesn't. I've asked why he doesn't on countless ocassions and I never get a straight answer. Some people just aren't as 'into it' as other people. Not all blokes wank all the time... it's just how it is! I would never pressure him into doing it though... i'd tell him how much it would turn me on to think about him doing it on his own, but ultimately, if he doesn't feel it's something he wants to do, I won't push it.
I love it when my oh does especially when he tells me about it during or after. I can see how some people find it non appealing, but I enjoy watching him find it a huge turn on although watching tends to lead to joining in 😈 And vice versa I'll tell him if I do and what I was watching or thinking about at time.
Maybe talk to him explain what you're thinking he could even be thinking a similar thing.
Ms DirtyWeekend,
I am completely with you on this. I think it can be a massive turn on so long as it's not because there's something wrong in the relationship and I'm not doing it for him.
I find it a huge turn on knowing that he has or is doing, love to think of him getting turned on without me. However, I also know a lot of girls that think badly of their men for doing it and take it extremely personal.
I don't live with my OH yet but we are planning to in a year or so. We had a discussion today if we thought we'd still masturbate when we live together, and thought it's probably healthy to when perhaps you just want a no-fuss, not too horny orgasm. Just one of those that puts you nicely to sleep. But yes we also discussed probably doing it in front of each other in a teasing way.
I think, because so many girls are against it, that it's something guys feel they need to hide so perhaps if he knew you loved the thought or it was arousing to you, or even that it didn't bother you he might let you in on it and tell you when he is.
Why is it that some women hate the thought if their OH masturbating or would think badly of them for it?!
I'm not sure I see it as an either / or choice. My OH and I usually talk about on a work night away, a nice bath when the other is out, or just a stolen daytime moment.
As for encouragement, my recommendation is instigating a horny conversation by text or email. You can 'encourage' him gently
I did find it horny, when in a relationship, but now just have a regular sex partner that I swing with and get to watch him have sex with others. If I'm not there, I love to hear all about it 
Don't mind if my husband does it, after all I make no secret of the fact that I do it. Must admit to feeling a bit cheated if he chooses to do it rather than have sex with me.
I suppose sometimes it's maybe because the pressures off and it's instant pleasure without having to thinks about anyone else's needs.
Find it a massive turn on. Even if I didn't, a guys gonna do what a guy wants to do. There is nothing wrong with him having a wank especially if it's infront of me, after all, I do it infront of him, it's only common decency to return the favour haha ;) We have a very open relationship and don't find there is anything wrong with masturbating. Although, I must agree with WildFlower, I would feel slightly cheated if he chose his hand over me.
My recent partner hardly ever masturbated which is why he was so riled up to have sex, though on occasion especially when we couldn't see eachother he'd skype or facetime me and we'd both watch eachother through the live video which was such a turn on!! So I never had to worry about him pleasuring himself without me because I always got a facetime and he knew I liked to see him please himself :P
So I guess you could do something similar or just tease eachother by masturbating in front of eachother in person and it may encourage him to be more open about it Xx
Hi
I often tell my other half I've just had a play !!
To no reply lol ???
What would you reply ?
I love it when my fella plays with himself when I am laying beside him, I will touch, kiss and strike him and then I will join in...
What about when he text you ?
I do not mind the my other half enjoys some man time. To be honest i like it because sometimes i just cant be bothered and want to go to sleep and leave it up to him haha. Xx
I like this thread because it has made me think about what we do and it is a little different. My wife has specifically requested I don't, this has changed a little she is now happy for me to but not to orgasm. My orgasm is hers this might sound a little harsh but it is given willingly. With our relationship growing and having been together for nearly 30 years we now go for quality rather than quantity.
I love being edged and to get the max out of it to be full and very horny is a must so if I was to spill any I will have to wait another 3 or 4 days. It doesn't mean I don't have a few accidents whilst having a little play.
It is strange as I love watching my OH masterbate. She has never asked me too. She has on occasion taken my hand and put it on my cock showing me she wants me to want but this is only while she plays with my balls and butt.
The only time I wank to orgasm with her is if she is very horny and very close to coming , she wants me to come on her clit she holds herself open this in its makes me come quickly. She has a few times been able to orgasm by my come alone no other contact. She says the heat , the power of the spurt and knowing what is happening tips her over the edge to orgasm. I have to say it is wonderful to do.
So after my usual ramble I would be happy to do this for my wife but she just would want me too. I also think for many especially men masturbation holds quite a stigma. This forum has changed my opinion a little that men do it more because generally men have higher sex drives especially when younger. We as men also worry that our partners may feel rejected or hurt to find we have had a wand. This is the same as some men not being to except their partners having vibrators and it not to replace or be bigger than them. I don't have a problem with this but we have a pact if I can't neither can she. Why would she play on her own when I enjoy so much watching her so much.
Thanks for you views everyone xxx
OH was away for a few.nights last week and before he left he set up Skype so we could have a play. Opened up a new avenue of play for us 😈. He has dared me to take a video of me playing whilst I am at work and then send itto him!
Which leads me to another question; I have seen many threads on the strangest/naughtiest place you have had sex but what is the strangest/naughtiest/riskiest place you have taken matters 'into your own hands'???
I also find it a turn on and have no problems with a partner masturbating, I only would if they replaced sex with masturbation but apart from that I think it’s great and a huge turn on. I don’t think it’s only women though who don’t like their partners masturbating, I use to date this man who hated me doing it! He thought that because I was with him then I shouldn’t need to and that it was an insult to him but he turned out to be very controlling so we didn’t last long after that.
I once masturbated in a shops changing room then sent it to a boyfriend who was outside the store at the time holding my bags.
ive no problems with him masturbating, the only time it annoys me is if he hasn't thought things through then has a wank before seeing me, because it takes ages for him to come and he gets frustrated, but it's equally the same for me as well. When we first met he used to masturbate before we had sex so he could last longer so it's probably a hang up from a past relationship.