A good friend from years back and who has a similarly relaxed attitude to life as me is in a lovely group of friends. I have met them once or twice and they are just a fun, happy, playful group of 2-4 families.
My friend and one of the husbands ended up sharing a bed in a shepherd’s hut. The other partners were due to arrive the following day and I honestly can’t remember why things occurred this way but it was entirely innocent.
They have known each other for years and been on lots of holidays so she felt comfortable sleeping topless but kept some shorts on and he kept his boxers on. They have always had a slightly innocent but flirty relationship and nothing has ever happened before.
She had her back to him and in her pre sleep state she felt his hand stroke her bum a few times and she said she allowed him to continue but also was so close to sleep that she didn’t think about it. She then remembers him roll on to his side and ejaculate on her.
There was no awkwardness in the morning and they chatted along quite happily, he commented that he had a lovely sleep and that was all there was to it.
My friend is unbothered but I felt a little uneasy and am sharing here.
On reflection, I feel that we should not comment further and I have trimmed the event to the minimum.
The batting away the hands tells me no consent. Whether she can prove it or not is another matter but that’s a major red flag against the guy. Didn’t respect boundary and took advantage.
Reminds me of when an ex told me her sister had a threesome. Worked at a bar went back to a hotel room with two business travellers did the deed no issues. Following morning she woke up with them penetrating her. They had brushed it off as bad etiquette but that was rape to me she couldn’t consent was asleep.
Was he asleep?
If so it could have been a wet dream promoted by the earlier banter so he may not have even been aware that it had happened, hence the lack of awkwardness in the morning!
I know it’s stretching things a bit but it’s possible.
She doesn’t think it all surprising that a man has a wank in bed at night and that being in the ‘firing line’ is almost inevitable if sharing a bed.
Thinking it though. I can see how a wank could have crossed the minds of both parties but the usual ‘etiquette’ would be do it once the other one is (pretending to be) asleep.
To me, the issue is - as indicated by others - a line has confidently been crossed.
From her perspective there is absolutely no issue and she has no intention of speaking to anyone about it or even thinking about it in any way other than a slightly unexpected story.
And people can also use the notification settings at the bottom of the topic to Mute it if they don’t wish to see it at all, and it will no longer appear in any of their topic lists.
Difficult one to call really as quite a few aspects, and a lot of unknowns.
I would imagine that from the guys perspective, he would have been quite turned on with the banter and a topless lady in bed next to him. Of course, without knowing what the banter was, difficult to say how that may have been perceived on his part. I would imagine a lot of guys might be turned on with the thought of a semi naked lady sharing their bed that they cannot touch.
As they were in semi-sleep state, it may have been automatic behavior as if their partners were there instead. He would have also been encouraged by her pushing back on to her, whether either party was knowingly doing it or not.
I’d say if he consciously touched her and then pulled himself off and came on her, boundaries were crossed.
However, if it was wet-dream scenario, he’d have had no control over the matter.
Did your friend say she was aware of him wanking? With the end play, it doesn’t seem like stealth was a primary objective.
Perhaps your friends thoughts around is the best way forward for her, and something to be wary of for future
