I am 20 years younger than my boyfriend and it shows in our sexdrives. He is always busy, thinking too much and stressed. For a long time we kind of forgot about sex, one reason is that I had the wrong pills (thanks, Cerazette ;)) After I changed the pill, I could not wait for our next weekend together. I got my silk negligee cleaned, collected many ideas about what we could do, sent some sexy e-cards and prepared a homemade (mild!) curry on the Friday evening when he came back from his business trip.
Bringing the topic to the table ended in a disaster. His first reaction was, no kidding: "I hope I'll get the job in Asia!" I tried to avoid talking about reasons adn blame, I just wanted communication and honesty. I wanted to know what he liked and wants, and I wanted to tell him what I want. Any careful approach in this matter resulted in another large hurdle, including the need for a house rather than a rental apartment. Well, I ended up in tears, the negligee went in the very back of the wardrobe and stayed there until today. At night I wore the largest pyjamas I could find. He was clearly sad as well.
We cuddle a LOT, we love each other. I am just afraid of starting the topic again. Some of our problems also include alcohol and erection problems. What would you do?
We just had a brief talk on the phone about it, I told him about my new toy and he is ok with it. He said he has had a lot of stress and is hoping for a more relaxed situation and some time together. He does not want to talk about details though.
I suggested a relationship counselling session. He said, he does not think it can make things better. If I don't think we can improve anything by ourselves during the summer, I am making an appointment anyway. He had promised me a few times to cut down on alcohol, but he didn't. I guess this is the reason he does not fancy going to the GP either.
I am also going to flirt more, I like to grab his bum, make the snogs a bit more intense and to make compliments, especially when he is walking around naked. I am just so fed up with his "don't be silly" kind of turning me down.
I too have a OH that always works away and very rarely seems interested in anything other that work or sleep.
Again like you very rarely can we talk without it turning the wrong way.
The only way I have found that i can truly get my feelings across is putting it in a letter, then packing it with his things when he goes away. He reads it while hes away and it seems my opinions are noted - not always acted upon tho but atleast i know he knows!
It will all work out in the end, keep your chin up xx
Yes, the absence makes me miss and want him a lot. Somehow I have the impression it does not the same for him. Anyway, I cannot change him and I am glad he calls and emails me a lot.
fl I know three women (including mother) who were prescribed anti depressants, all had to eventually wean themselves off.
I wouldnt contradict a doctors advice but massive over prescription is well documented, try walking, thinking positive looking on the bright side. Haveing a low sex drive and an annoyed bf is cause for depression not a solution.
Try satisfying him even if you arnt in the mood, it may cheer you up a bit also
i suffer from v bad depression and horrific self image and my tablets have helped millions so i am very pro antidepressants and plan to stay on them for ever and ever and ever haha. i just wish i could have my sex drive back : (
my boyfriends starting to get annoyed!