Can you take yor own virginity?
Cause if you can't then I am a virgin?...
Virginity is a daft and outdated concept used to shame people for not having sex.
You can define it however you please. Some people say only penis-in-vagina sex counts, some include oral, some include masturbation.... Blah blah.
If it's something that matters to you, you'll likely have an opinion of it lurking somewhere.
If you want to say you're a virgin, go for it.
If you don't? Well, noone is probably ever going to ask outside of teenage truth or dare, so you're probablygood.
Also, I know there are some members on here that will slate me for my first statement. I totally respect your decisions not to have sex, or to wait to have sex, or whatever. That's fine.
I do not and cannot support the social stigma around (paticularly female) virginity and the shame in losing, as well as the hypocritical pressure to do thevery same thing.
Well said!
You talk a lot of sense, Fairehlights!
I think I agree but you're first sentence is confusing! I think virginity can be used to shame people (especially girls) for having sex, but can also be used to shame people (more so guys) for not having sex. Female virginity is way overvalued. The whole concept implies that it's only men who enjoy sex. If someone told me they were a virgin I would assume that didn't include masturbation though, so I would say you're still a virgin. But don't let other people's ideas decide when you should loose it (don't feel pressured to loose or keep it)!fairehlights wrote:
Virginity is a daft and outdated concept used to shame people for not having sex.
You can define it however you please. Some people say only penis-in-vagina sex counts, some include oral, some include masturbation.... Blah blah.
If it's something that matters to you, you'll likely have an opinion of it lurking somewhere.
If you want to say you're a virgin, go for it.
If you don't? Well, noone is probably ever going to ask outside of teenage truth or dare, so you're probablygood.Also, I know there are some members on here that will slate me for my first statement. I totally respect your decisions not to have sex, or to wait to have sex, or whatever. That's fine.
I do not and cannot support the social stigma around (paticularly female) virginity and the shame in losing, as well as the hypocritical pressure to do thevery same thing.
Ugh, bollox. Thanks for noticing Libra, I missed half a sentence!
The concept is flaky at best, and used to shame either and any which way.
I don't have enough braincells for much intelligent posting atm :')
I always felt a bit odd about my 'virginity'. By the time I'd slept with a bloke, I'd already had two sexual relationships with females. So I felt somewhat experiences just hadn't tried the penis style of things, lol. Which to be honest wasnlt all that amazing anyway, lol. Certainly didn't make me think I'd been missing out. x
Haha fairehlights, no, its a very intelligent post! :)
I think people are shamed for being virgins, at least there are where I live. It's rediculous to give a name to something you haven't done. There's no specific name for people who haven't been on a roller coaster. I lied to my friends about losing mine, but didn't actually lose it till I was 18. It wasn't special, quite boring.
what I'm trying to say is, it doesn't matter, if you associate as being a virgin, cool, if not, cool. It's up to you, just don't feel as though whether you are or aren't contributes any value to you. There are more important things to worry about. Losing your virginity is made out to be some massive life changing event. It isn't. You just feel deflated becuase you don't suddenly feel like a (wo)/man
This reminds me about the one thing about the definition of virginity I haven't figured out and that is whether anal sex equals loss of virginity. I categorise it as a different kind of virginity. I don't count any form of masturbation or oral for loss of virginity.
For me virgin is a word I grew to hate. For a guy the longer you keep it, the more of a failure you feel. For a woman it seems to have conflicting emotions, and can be used as a word to shame both men and women. But most people's problems with virginity usually exist in their own head.
double post ignore