Hi everyone I used to be quite a regular lovehoney lover,
Since my break up I cant get myself back to normal. ?.. I dont really come on here anymore which is a shame coz I miss you all, and enjoyed the chat on here :/ I just cant get my feeling of wanting, enjoying sex or anything to do with it.... im not with a partner or anything but im used to at least 6 days a week solo play but only had 2 sessions since.. even then it was although my body felt distracted. ?.
I dont so much miss him but the male interaction... I want to feel myself and sexy again x
Can be hard after a break up, maybe you should treat yourself to something sexy ;)
Everytime I look at stuff I get completely disheartened n cant b asked x
Sounds like you need to do something to take yourself out of yourself if you know what I mean, sometimes can be a wild night out, a nice spa day or something, works for me x
It's a human need be wanted to be loved to be found sexy by Someone,and once you no longer feel wanted loved attractive or sexy you lose those happy feelings you can be left to feel low and fed up I understand
what you are missing is that feeling when you first meet someone your body releases happy hormones you get the rush of excitement joy pleasure when you get that text in the morning or the comment on a photo hey sexy,it takes you to that place,it's not so much about sex for you right now you want to feel attractive and sexy and have that person to flirt with maybe try out some sites that enables you to flirt get that communication with the opposite sex going again
I know the exact feeling - even though its ben some months since I broke up with my ex. Didnt help the fact that she quickly moved on after 4 yrs being with me (but didnt expect anything else from her!)
Anyway, I did buy a whole heap of new stuff from here at the start, in an attempt to get replace all the old toys which we had used together. Even having done that theres still something which cant be explained.
Someone said to me that the fact you feel down or not quite yourself, no matter what you do, just goes to show that your feelings were real and cant just be swept under the carpet no mater what has happened.
Im afraid to say there will be up and down days, but the ups will eventually outnumber the downs!
I think you need to give yourself more time, and try not to pressure yourself into moving on. It takes time, and I know it feels horrible waiting for it to happen.
I was exactly the same after my miscarriage in May, couldn't stand the thought of sex and felt a bit out of place on these forums (but kept coming back as I love everyone and they helped me through it). I still find sex difficult, I'm rarely horny anymore and I've gone from masturbating once or twice per day to almost never. I keep thinking I should be okay by now, but then again there's no need to rush things. Sometimes I'm okay, other times (like last week) I just burst into tears during sex because I feel like I'm not really there and I'm trying so hard to do it.
If you're grieving the loss of your partner, it's a huge emotional strain. You have to give yourself time to heal before you worry about being 'normal'. I'm sorry if that's totally useless advice, because it's probably not what you want to hear, but time has been a healer for me and I hope it will be for you as well. :)
We're all here to support you, you don't have to discuss sex if you're not ready. Most of us like to have general chit chat which doesn't involve anything sexual, so please don't stay away if you're worried about that!
Take care xxx
Thanks jenson :/ I think its not the same as human to human interaction and that hormone release u get etc...
I hate it i never used to get like this but i used to have a busy social life to stop me feeling like this x
Thanks everyone for your lovely replys :)
Boogaloo wrote:
I think you need to give yourself more time, and try not to pressure yourself into moving on. It takes time, and I know it feels horrible waiting for it to happen.
I was exactly the same after my miscarriage in May, couldn't stand the thought of sex and felt a bit out of place on these forums (but kept coming back as I love everyone and they helped me through it). I still find sex difficult, I'm rarely horny anymore and I've gone from masturbating once or twice per day to almost never. I keep thinking I should be okay by now, but then again there's no need to rush things. Sometimes I'm okay, other times (like last week) I just burst into tears during sex because I feel like I'm not really there and I'm trying so hard to do it.
If you're grieving the loss of your partner, it's a huge emotional strain. You have to give yourself time to heal before you worry about being 'normal'. I'm sorry if that's totally useless advice, because it's probably not what you want to hear, but time has been a healer for me and I hope it will be for you as well. :)
We're all here to support you, you don't have to discuss sex if you're not ready. Most of us like to have general chit chat which doesn't involve anything sexual, so please don't stay away if you're worried about that!
Take care xxx
I'm so sorry to hear that you have been through something so awful. I have had 2 in my life, one when i was 17, and the other i was 19, with 2 different people. I still think about it now occasionally, wonder what life would've been like. But like my mum says things happen for a reason, you may not see it now but there was a reason you had to experience a terrible thing.
I do hope you are able to heal well, and I wish you luck for your future xxx
Sassy - I am so sorry you are going through this. I do think it is probably normal, you may feel a bit depressed (which never helps the libido) and others have offered some spot on advice.
I would say the more you think on it the may it more bother you. When I get like that with aspects of my life I try to get phsically active such as working out, walking or just getting out and about helps.
Sassy, stick around, it's good, just to talk,,
Go easy on yourself. We all heal at different rates. There is no rush. A break up is a lot like a death. You really are in mourning. Give yourself time and feel free to lean on friends. Real friends will be there for you, just as you would be there for them. Also, try to stay busy with things that you enjoy. Anything that can occupy both your mind as well as your hands (ie, sewing, drawing, writing, dancing, playing music, ect...) anything creative, will really help you to get out some of the stress and sadness.
When you are feeling a little better, try taking a class of some kind. An excersise class or a cooking class, anything like that, can really help you boost your self esteem and you can meet people. There is no such thing as too many friends :)