Hi guys, just after some ideas on how to get my man to be a bit rougher with me. He says he doesn't want to hurt me which is lovely but sometimes I want it. He's happy to force my head down while I'm sucking him now (after lots of persuasion and demonstration) but sometimes I just want him to shove my face in the pillow or grab me around the neck and I don't know how to get across that I don't mind being a little sore the next day. Xx
Just talk to your partner, have a full blown conversation, discuss it openly and in detail. Tell him/show him how you want to be grabbed etc. Show him a few videos in regards to the above. Explain how it will make you feel etc. If you dont want to do it face to face (quite shy). Send him a message, me and my partner do this as i'm beyond shy. Let us know how you get on :)
Have the chat as advised above and assure him with setting up a safe word/hand gesture. Something that can use that is easy to remember and easy to say/do when restrained. That way he knows you will use it when you have a limit reached.
The importance of being safe is paramount and this video may help get that conversation started:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VM_6qK4o4w&index=46&list=PL0G-eJWh4vmckRKA5PauUu2QxJqk56CGn
I will second the "it doesn't have to be face to face" suggestion - if you're shy or find it embarrassing or think you'll get flustered and not say what needs saying, send him an email or a long text or something to start the conversation going.
As above I would suggest maybe if you have sexting sessions throughout the day to make it a little rougher but gentle in the things you say. But as Leanne pointed out you need to reassure your partner with a safe word or gesture, let him know that he can't hurt you or go too far. Limits will need to be spoken about so do what makes him feel comfortable with the things you want to try. He sounds like a good guy and doesn't want to hurt you which is great but I can understand the frustration on your behalf when you want just that little bit more. It's kind of like having a glass half filled, as a male perspective on things I always found it hard to break that barrier. I care and nurture all the women I have been lucky to meet and I hate the idea of physically or mentally upsetting them, but overtime just playing around you find the limits and they become more comfortable to deal with.
Have a chat with your partner and see what he enjoys, talk about what turns you on and him and try and meet in the middle. You can always be a bit more vocal in the bedroom with words like "harder" etc so maybe when your in the moment just say exactly what you feel and see if this unleashes something. This could also just be in his nature and the stress of worrying about hurting you will kinda kill the mood a bit so reassurance will be key to all this.
My wife and I use the traffic light system. Red, amber and green. If I want something harder I shout out green or amber then boy watch out. As yet I have never shouted Red and that does annoy her and her friends.
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Great advice already here the traffic light system and discuss a safe word to be used.