Ok maybe my mind is working over time but I get ge feeling my fella isn’t in to me at all Anyone got help and ideas to work out if he is or not
I'm sorry. Uncertainty is the whorse feeling. I think you should stop trying to guess. Instead i'll advise planning an open conversation about what specific changes you are noticing in his attitude and how they are making you feel (not blaming: when you ......I feel....). Ask how he is feeling about your relationship. Try being assertive.
I agree, i spent nearly 2 months not really talking/seeing each other and him not having much interest (far too long but i was nervous to ask) in the end I messaged bevause it was getting me down, and said I feel like we've been a bit distant and want to know if we are ok? He didn't take it well (sorry not what you want to hear) but I'd take the awkward conversation rather than sitting wondering whether or not we were OK.. sometimes you've just got to ask bevause otherwise you could spend weeks/months not knowing and it drives you insane.. not as positive as I'd like to be but I hope it's all ok and you're just over thinking everything :)
Agreed, feel the fear and do it anyway. Us men are useless at the intuity thing. Just ask him.
Communication is key, you might find that he's feeling the same way, and is feeling like you're not into him at the moment! Definitely just be upfront and take a breath and tell your partner your worries.
Have you been together long? Blokes are rubbish, I know, I am one. There could be other things bothering him, it is most likely not you.
I love and need my wife more than the air i breathe, but sometimes life just gets ahead of me and I crawl inside myself to cope. We get through this by talking, finding a way to speak...but It's hard when you don't want to talk. Communication is the key, finding the way to do it is the hard bit.
You could always instigate the conversation through a physical activity.
For example, fun him a bath for when he gets home from work then go up and offer to massage his legs or rub his back. If he thinks this is unusual he will probably say ( something abrupt like "why what's wrong") then you have the perfect way of casually adding something along the lines of " I have missed you and feel we have been a bit distant recently.
If he thinks it's normal for you to rub his back then you can add, I have missed doing this, it seems ages since we were last intimate. ( I don't mean sex here I mean sensual, touching, more foreplay.)
If you think he has gone off you i think its time to sit down with him and talk about it, maybe its something simple as worklife getting infront of him.
Such good advice here. I'll add that my advice would be to talk. It's rubbish being in a relationship where your partner isn't interested - and it may be that he's weighed down with worries you don't know about, and it may be that he's cooling off. Either way, you need to know, not be hanging around feeling shut out and miserable.
It's not the easiest thing to raise, but if you stick to communicating what you're feeling, without blaming him, you'll leave space for him to respond without having to defend himself.
Good luck. Stay grounded. Breathe - try breathing in to a count of 7, then breathing out to a count of 11. Several times. It will help calm you.
Definitely talk! I've know guys to be all strong and silent because they were upset over their fave tv character dying >.<
But when you do discuss it, make sure its a relaxed and open conversation rather than a targeted appraoch as some guys can get defensive if they mistake it for you being aggressive etc if that makes sense?
Plus if it is related to your relationship, then it can only strengthen it talking between you. If he is still into you, I highly recommend date nights either in or outdoors (but make sure you turn your phones off and shut out the world for some genuine "us time").